Fighting For You
by SoftballQueen12
Summary: Louisa has survived Phase 1 but with heavy costs. The Gladers' lives now rest on her shoulders, and she's cracking under the weight. Her very sanity is standing on the edge of a cliff, daring her to push it off. All the while, WICKED is working against her. Will she save their lives? Or will she fall, dragging everyone down with her? SEQUEL TO FIGHTING AGAINST YOU
1. Chapter 1

**HEY GUYS! I'M BACK WITH THE SEQUEL! I hope you enjoy :)**

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My hands are sore from banging on the door and my throat feels scratchy from screaming. Noah left a while ago, leaving me to ponder what the hell's going on. He claimed he had to go greet the Gladers. That implies that they survived, and are currently in WICKED. But that doesn't mean they're safe.

My dad told me to get mom, Noah, and me out of here and somewhere safe. That has to mean that WICKED isn't safe. I never trusted them, but they kept me fed and a roof was over my head. I was satisfied, but apparently, I shouldn't get too comfortable.

" Let me out! " I scream, but no one walking past looks in my direction. It's as if the door is invisible, a one way mirror maybe. I keep thinking that if I hit it hard enough it will crack.

Noah strides into view, and comes to a stop in front of my door. For a second, I let the tiniest bit of hope worm it's way into my system. His emerald green eyes dart over to my door, but he doesn't move to open it. I grind my teeth in frustration as he starts to talk.

" This is the living quarters. " Noah says, and I immediately pick up on his lie. This is where they hold insurgents. It's not exactly comfortable. The mattress on the bed has springs that poke you in the back if you lay down on it. I tried sitting in the chair, but it collapsed under my weight. These aren't living quarters, they're prison cells.

" Just assign our bloody rooms and let us sleep. " A groggy voice says. It's coated with sorrow, but most importantly, it's british.

My heart does three flips and then dives into my stomach. A slow smile spreads across my face. Newt survived. He's right in front of me. All that's separating us is this damn door. I bang on the door harder than I did before. Louder screams escape my mouth, but the white walls must be sound proof. They can't hear me.

" Two people are assigned to each room. " Noah says, glancing at the clip board in his hand. His eyes flash over to the glass I'm looking through. He can't see me, but he knows I'm watching. He smirks.

" Just get on with it. It's been a long day. " a voice says, muffled by the door. I can still tell it's Thomas' voice.

Noah ignores him as he continues talking. " The two people in this room, " he gestures to the room across from the one I'm in. " Will be Newt and Thomas. "

" Where are the showers? " Authority and arrogance laces this voice, so it has to be Minho.

" Down the hall and to your left. " Noah looks at them from over his glasses. His brown hair falls into his eyes. " You all should get cleaned up. I'll assign the rest of the rooms later. "

Noah disappears from my sight, and a disheveled Minho enters it. His eyes glance in my direction, and for a minute I think he sees me. I hold my breath, wanting him to open the door and take me into his arms. To show all the Gladers that I am alive and I will help them. Yet, he just continues his pace, despite my desperate screams.

Thomas walks past, his eyes red and puffy. I rack my brain for people he was close to, but the only one that comes to mind is Teresa. Did she...die? Is my best friend dead?

A breath I didn't know I was holding is released as I see Teresa trudge by. Her hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail and blood smears her clothes. The distant look in her eyes is a sign she's lost someone too.

A normally cheerful Frypan follows, the same sad look on his face. Winston is right by his side, his pimple ridden face set in a hopeless frown. Clint walks by right after them, blood covering his hands and clothes. Tears fall from his eyes, and I know Jeff is dead. No one could separate them in the Glade. Only his death could cause Clint to appear so broken.

My heart stops as I see familiar blonde hair limp into view. His eyes are hollow and lifeless. His face is bruised and bloody. His machete is no where to be found, seemingly lost in the battle to get here. His blond hair is matted with crimson blood, and I pray that it isn't his.

With new found inspiration, I take a few steps back from the door. After bracing myself with a deep breath, I charge forward, hitting the glass door full force. I feel it give under my weight. Newt stops walking, and looks curiously at the door. He had to have heard it.

My shoulder begins to ache from the rough impact, but I back up again and charge forward. The glass door cracks, and Newt jumps back in surprise. He slowly walks toward it, and his hand goes to the slide it open. He grabs the handle and I see the door open a little bit—

" I wouldn't do that if I were you. " Noah says from down the hall.

Newt's brown eyes dart from the door to Noah, a curious look flurrying in his eyes. I try to say his name, but from all the screaming, it comes out as a mere whisper. His eyes widen a bit, and for a second I think he'll open the door and see me. He'll know I'm alive.

" Louisa? " He whispers, his eyes getting a little glassy. I move my hands to the handle and pull it further over, but it doesn't move. The door is stuck in place.

" I told you she was dead. It does no good to dwell on the past. You have your future you have to nurture. " Noah says, but I here the urgency in his voice. I look at Newt, and he puts his hand on the crack in the door. I put my hand up to match his, my eyes pleading him to open the door even though I know he can't see me.

Not a second later, he drops his hand and shakes his head. " She's dead you moron. " He mumbles under his breath. Such pain flickers across his face it makes me want to burst through the door and help him. Yet, he just walks away.

I stumble back from the door, tears in my eyes. Were those the only Gladers that survived? Does that mean Gally, Nick, Alby, and Chuck didn't make it? The chubby thirteen year old boy died? I didn't know him that well, but he was too young. Too gentle. And he died because of WICKED.

My back slides down the wall as tears fall. I thought that seeing Newt safe would fill the black abyss inside of me, but it only made it worse. It's like watching his ghost walk around. He has no clue about what's going to happen to him, and I don't want to tell him. He's walking around with a false sense of security. When he finds out, it will be devastating.

….

I'm still laying curled in a ball on the floor when the door slides open. I hear footsteps walk towards me, but I keep my eyes squeezed shut. If I never open them again, maybe the pain will go away. Maybe I'll never have to face any of them ever again. Hell, who knows? It is possible that Newt will think I'm a traitor like Minho does. He could hate me. Push me away and never want to see me again.

" Get up. " A rough voice says. I shake my head no and hug my knees to my chest. I just want to lay here and die. I've given up.

" I thought your mother raised you better. " The voice snaps. " Get up! "

My eyes snap open as a hand grabs my arm and roughly pulls me to my feet. I'm staring at Janson's crooked nose. I take a couple steps back, wary of what he might do. Ratman is one of those unpredictable people. You can't trust them because you'll end up betrayed.

" You are to stay hidden for the next three days. After that, you're being sent to the Scorch. You will train with Brenda at night. A guard will accompany you. I don't want you being seen. I might just have to hurt someone if you are. Do I make myself clear? " Janson asks, and I just nod, numb to the world. Nothing surprises me anymore. I've accepted the fact that my life is hell.

" The Gladers are asleep right now. You start training now. " Ratman grabs my arm, and pulls me out the door. I glance at the room across from mine, my heart dragging on the ground. I want to care. I want to let myself love Newt the way he deserves to be, but I can't even love myself right now. He deserves someone like Sonya, or Brenda. Strong willed, brave, forgiving and intelligent. I am none of those things. He needs someone who knows how to handle the fact that he isn't immune, because I can't. The very thought is making me crack.

I follow Janson through the dim hallways of WICKED. Doors are on each side of the hallway, and I know that there are sleeping Gladers in there. I shake my head. _They're so damn close._

I don't have to be careful about running into anyone, so I take longer strides in an attempt to work the stiffness out of my legs. My butt is still numb from sitting in the floor for so long. I notice more dirt and scuff marks on the floor, probably from the Gladers.

Less people roam the hallways, and more are asleep. I guess with the Gladers out they no longer have to watch the Maze. It makes me wonder if you could still call them Gladers. They don't live in the Glade anymore. I can't call them my friends either. They stopped being that a long time ago.

I'll call them Familiars. They are in that weird zone where you kind of know them, but you don't. We could be friends, but they're attitude towards me changed a lot, so I don't know what to think anymore. I think Familiars is the best thing to call them.

Ratman comes to a stop in front of the training room. It's so sudden I almost run into him. He glares at me over his shoulder as he pulls the door open. As we walk in I notice a speck of blood on the back of his white lab coat. Curiosity flares inside of me like a raging flame that can't be tamed. The blood looks more like it was splattered on there, not smeared. The only question is: how did it happen?

" You have two hours. Go. " Ratman says, not even glancing over his shoulder. I walk past him and glance around. Brenda is stretching on the blue floor mats. They shine with sweat, and I hesitate to walk on them. My black converse will be tainted with the sweat of other people.

" Louisa! " Brenda shouts as she finally sees me. " Get your ass over here! "

I sigh as I step onto the mat and make my way over to her. It gives under my feet a little, and I realize that they've replaced it. The other wasn't cushioned. It was like a brick, and this one is almost like walking on a cloud.

" How have you been? " Brenda asks, eyeing me up and down. Her hair is in a messy ponytail and makeup is smudged on her face. I didn't think they had makeup here, but it doesn't surprise me that Brenda had managed to find some.

" Fine. " I say. Isn't that what you're supposed to say? You never say what you're really feeling. You say what they expect you to say. _I'm fine. I'm okay. I'm good._ All three are lies.

" Have you been thinking about that kid? " She asks while going into a split. " What was his name? Newt? "

I bend down and touch my toes as I reply. " Yea. "

" You do know that he doesn't have the Flare, right? " She says while grabbing her right foot. Wait. So the Flare isn't dormant in the system until something triggers it? It's like a virus instead of whatever it was I was thinking about.

" What do you mean? " I say while standing up. My legs are still stiff, so I try to do a split. But, I'm still a good six inches from the ground.

" I mean, that he doesn't have the Flare yet. He may not be immune, but he can still live a life without the Flare. " Brenda says while grabbing her left foot.

A life without the Flare? I had been so consumed with depression that I hadn't even thought of it like that. A grinning, happy Newt flashes through my mind and I let a smile creep onto my face. It's like this weight has been taken off of me. The black abyss that was there has been filled with this new light—hope that Newt will live.

" Of course, " Brenda continues, " He's going into the Scorch. He'll be surrounded by cranks there. I don't know if he can avoid it. "

And just like that, the darkness is back. But, determination resides inside of it like the flickering flame of a candle. I need to get Newt out of phase two. He can't go into the Scorch. I'll go in his place. I'll even send Lee in his place, I just can't let Newt go. He still has a chance to live. His future hasn't been taken away yet.

" You ready? " I ask her while rising to my feet. She nods and stands up.

Ever since Brenda and I have started training together, we've developed a routine. We start off with light stretching, then we do some technique work. After that we do two light jogs around the training room, then we start some weight training. Next, we fight.

" A Crank has grabbed your waist and is pulling you back while trying to eat you. What do you do? " Brenda asks, crossing her arms over her chest. I drive my right elbow back into an imaginary body, then I turn around and flip it over my shoulder. Brenda nods, apparently satisfied.

She tells me another situation, and I do what would save my ass. Yet, my mind is elsewhere. I'm thinking of what I can do in order to save Newt's sanity. I could always just run to my mom and beg her to save him. Didn't she drag me out of the Maze? Does my brother have any influence over this type of stuff? Can Chancellor Ava Paige even be bribed? I don't know the answers to any of these questions, but I will.

Newt will not go into the Scorch with the other Gladers.

I will save his life.

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 **Did you like it? I know I said five days on the last chapter of Fighting Against You, but I just got so excited. Also, the cover was made by one of my followers on instagram so shoutout to her! ( i forgot her username oops. )**

 **Soooo question. Would you mind if I branched off a bit at first, but then it meets up with the plot line later? And then at the end I branch off again? I hope that's okay, because I don't do that well sticking to plots of other stories.**

 **Pardon any grammar mistakes please. It's midnight where I live and my wrist is killing me. ( I sprained it. )**

 **Well, I hope you all have an amazing night, morning, day, evening, afternoon, I'm going to go to sleep.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't have anything to say yet, just enjoy. :)**

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I lay on the uncomfortable bed, a billion thoughts racing through my mind. I had thought that Newt was hopeless, doomed to suffer a cannibalistic lifestyle. But from what Brenda told me, he isn't going to be a crank if he's never exposed to the virus. I can still save him.

I hear footsteps and glance at the crack in my door, wondering if one of the Familiars are walking by. Do they feel safe here? Are they being tricked into a false sense of security? The answer to both of those questions is probably yes. WICKED tricked me. I thought I had left the trials and was safe, but they throw me back in there.

I'm just a variable. They made the Familiars think I'm dead, and now they're waiting for perfect time to reveal me to them. Perhaps it'll be in the Scorch with Brenda and Jorge. I don't know when they're going to do it. All I know is I'm a pawn in their trials.

I adjust on the bed, my back getting sore from the springs poking it. I've tried to fall asleep, exhausted from training with Brenda, but the bed is just too uncomfortable. I suppose WICKED expects me to become nocturnal like a bat. That's not going to happen.

I sigh and stand up, a heavy ache in the middle of my back. A new set of clothes is sitting on the broken chair: a thin, navy blue tank top and some black leggings. They were given to me last night after I finished training. Apparently the clothes I'm wearing now stink.

I stretch my back out, feeling relief when it pops. I look out my door, feeling weird as I peel my clothes off. Only I can see out there, but it still feels like the glass is a window. Almost as if someone could look at the door and see my half-naked in here.

Shivering from the cold air, I walk over to the chair and grab the clothes. I smell them for any drugs or poisons, knowing that WICKED would probably do that. When I don't smell any, I pull them on and slip my converse on over my black socks. For some odd reason, WICKED feels the need to give me black clothes. Maybe they think I'll appreciate it.

I scoff. As if I would feel grateful to anything those bastards do.

The door to my room slides open as I'm braiding my hair. I ignore whoever it is, keeping my back to them. They can go away. I'm busy devising a plan to save the Familiars' lives. Well, not really. When I think of that my mind is as empty as my stomach. And I haven't eaten since yesterday.

Their footsteps get closer to me as I finish my braid. " What do you want this time? " I ask, straightening out my shirt.

Hands go to my hips, and I tense up. For a second I think that Minho has broken into my room, but then I remember that the door was locked. You'd have to know the code. But, what if he found it? For once, it would be nice to have some help.

" I'm sorry Lo. " My heart sinks. It's Lee.

I move out of his grasp. " Why are you here? " I say in a monotone voice. I make it a point to stare him right in the eyes. His black hair is messier than usual, and his face seems so full of sadness. Did I break his heart? I thought he and one of the girl Gladers were together.

" I love you. " Lee says. I shake my head and laugh.

" Why did you kiss that girl? " I ask. _Please say it was because you liked her._

" I was testing something. I wanted to see if I would get sparks with someone else. "

" Did you? " I snap. _Please say yes._

" No. " Lee states, moving closer to me. " You're the one I love. "

" I don't know Lee. You, you hurt me. " I say, backing away until my I hit a wall. He uses this to his advantage, moving in and caging me like an animal. He looks down at me, his brown eyes appearing red.

" Louisa. Please. " His voice cracks, and his eyes look glassy.

" I-" I start, but he interrupts me.

" Please. Don't break me. " He says, squeezing his eyes shut. A tear slips out of one of them, and guilt eats me alive.

 _Be the manipulative bitch,_ my mind whispers. _Convince him to help you._

" I, uh. " I stop due to my inner debate. Should I be the bigger person and stop stringing him along?

" I forgive you. " I say, putting my hands on his shoulders. " But, you deserve someone who loves you. "

He jerks away and shakes his head. He runs both hands through his hair, then he turns and faces me. " What did I do, besides cheating, to make you hate me? "

" I don't hate you! " I say, moving forward to put my hand on his shoulder, but he backs away from me.

" But you never loved me. " He says, his tears twisting the way his voice sounds.

I remain silent, scared to say anything. I can't lie again, but I don't want-

" Tell me the truth! " Lee yells. I flinch, backing away from him.

" I never loved you. " I whisper. He shakes his head again, and I feel my throat tighten up. I promised Teresa I wouldn't do this. I _promised_ her.

" Dammit! " He shouts, kicking the bed. It's metal frame dents. Lee moves forward and grabs me by the shoulders. He squeezes hard. " Was any of it real? Any of it! "

I shove him away, my own fury taking hold. " None of it was real. " I raise my voice. " I used you to make sure Newt and Minho were safe. You should've seen your sister. How she tried to protect you. But no. You played right into my games. "

" Why me? " Lee yells. " Why did you choose to break me? "

" Because you already liked me. A couple of kisses later and you fell in love. "

" You're no better than WICKED. " He spits as he goes to open the door. I stand there with my arms crossed over my chest as he pulls on the door. It doesn't budge.

" You idiot. The door locks. To keep me in. "

Lee kicks the door and I sit down on the floor, my anger simmering away.

" Look, Lee. " I say while he sits down on the bed. " I really am sorry. "

" Sorry doesn't fix a broken heart you bitch. " Lee snaps and I lean back against the wall.

The guilt is bearing down on me, making it hard to breathe. I feel like crying, but crying doesn't revoke what I did, what I said. I can apoligize all I want, but sorry doesn't erase the past.

….

After hours of silence, a guard comes and opens my door. He's face is shaved and the green eyes are stern. Lee jumps up and shoves past him, not even bothering to tell me bye. I never expected him to, but, I almost gave my virginity to that ass. He could at least say, " Fun times, but I've got to go. " It would've been a nice change from silent and brooding.

I stand, my legs popping. I had formed a plan in my head while we were sitting there in silence. I just have to explore more of WICKED to find something to blackmail Chancellor Ava Paige or Janson. A fairly simple plan, until you calculate how much time I have: three days.

It is now time to initiate step one of the plan: getting free time.

I walk up to the guard and he huffs as he turns around. _Fatal mistake._ I kick him in the back as hard as I can. His face slams into Newt's door, and he slides down, leaving a trail of blood where his face use to be. Assuming he's knocked out, I go left to begin my search.

The hallways are brighter tonight, and I wonder if more people are working. It wouldn't make sense. The people who worked in the labs only work during the day, and the people who observed the Maze don't have a reason to anymore. Both groups found their way out. They solved the Maze.

Everything that's surrounding me is unfamiliar. The walls are a grey, instead of the bright white I'm used to. The floors are the same color, making everything blend together. The lights are fluorescent and shine brightly. I'd say the hallway is brighter than the sun.

A metal door appears on my right. It doesn't have one window on it, unlike others that line this hall. There's a handle on the door instead of a knob. Right now, a metal latch keeps it locked, almost as if they're keeping something in.

My curiosity gets the best of me as I undo the latch. My gut is telling me that the door is here for a reason, and that I shouldn't open it, but I ignore it. There could be a way to save Newt in here. I have to explore every inch, no matter how scary it is.

I pull the door open, and hot stuffy air greets me. A stair way is leading down into darkness, and I wish I had a flashlight. I thought WICKED only had one floor. This is like the creepy basement of that one weird neighbor you don't trust.

The light from behind me illuminates part of the stairwell. My tall slender shadow is right in the middle, like one of my demons tempting me into darkness. With a deep breath, I take a step forward. My hand leaves the door and braces itself on the warm wall to my left. It's like a sauna in here; I can already feel the sweat forming on my skin.

The door clicks shut behind me with an echo almost like maniacal laughter.

I turn around and feel the door, searching for the handle. Some sort of hand hold, knob, latch, something would be nice! Yet, I find nothing. Panic wells up inside me as the realization dawns on me. I'm trapped down here in the darkness of an unknown place.

I've never been really fond of the dark. It's not the darkness itself, it's what lurks inside it. Ghosts, demons, killer clowns, spiders. I shiver. _Spiders._

I'm feeling the same thing right now as I slowly turn around and look at what I think is the stairs. I don't think there are monsters down here, but you can't have dark and foreboding rooms for no reason. Dark places tend to warn off people. Unless they're stupid. Like me.

I take a step forward, keeping my hand on the wall. I keep my weight back, preparing to take the first step down. I take another step and my heart skips a beat as think I'm falling. Yet my foot simply lands on the first stair.

I go to take another step, but my foot gets caught on something and I don't have time to scream as I'm falling. My shoulder hits a stair, hard. Pain laces through it, but I barely register it as my knee scrapes the metal stairs. I'm vaguely aware of the cracking sound in my back as I hit the bottom.

I lay there, on the bottom stair, every muscle throbbing. My spine feels crooked, like it's out of alignment. There's a deep ache in my shoulder, like the bone is bruised. I feel blood trickling down my shin, and I groan. Walking down stairs that you've never seen before in the dark is a very bad idea.

I sit up, a small whimper escaping my mouth. Tears form in my eyes, my back screaming at me to stop moving. I sit there, trying to take deep breaths, but it's as if the wind as been knocked out of me. I hunch over, my hair falling in front of my face. My braid must've come loose when I fell.

It's like my airways open back up and I take a huge gulp of air. My breathing is harsh at first, but it evens out.

I take a couple of seconds to work my courage up. The very thought of standing makes me cringe, but I have to help Newt. I can't leave him to die. There could be something here that I could use against WICKED. What do they have that's so bad they have to hide it in a basement?

I take a deep breath and count to three. 1, I brace my hands on the floor. 2. I go into a crouch, gritting my teeth together. 3. I push myself all the way up, every muscle is protesting the movement. My back is hunched over—I'm not able to stand up straight. I'm going to have to see a doctor if I ever make it back up those stairs.

I raise my eyes so I can see straight ahead. There's a speck of light at the far end of the hall, and I take slow steps in that direction. The air gets hotter as I go further down the hall. My hair becomes sticky with sweat, and I wipe my face with my hand. Blood tickles my shin as it trails down it. I ignore the sensation as I hobble towards the light.

...

I don't know how much time has passed, but I know my legs are aching. It could be hours, it could be minutes. I use the light at the end of the hall as a beacon. It's gradually gotten bigger. Whereas before it was the size of a quarter, now it is the size of a basketball.

I freeze when I hear voices. Two or three maybe, and they're all laced with madness.

" Do you think they'll let us go? " The female voice comes out rushed. My heart beat picks up, and I'm almost scared they can hear it.

" Never. Lab rats is what we are. " Another female voice says, coated with what I think is age.

" What if I want to be a mouse? " The first voice asks. I tentatively start to walk forward again, my eyes scanning the darkness for any shapes.

" No. They think of us as rats so that is what we must-" The voice pauses. " Do you smell that? "

I don't hear anything for a couple of seconds, and I assume that the second one is sniffing the air. What are they smelling? All I smell is the metallic walls.

" Blood! " The other one says, and my walk slows.

" Fresh meat! " They both yell, and it's like the words put a physical barrier in front of me. My skin prickles with fear and my heart thuds in my chest. They have to be talking about me.

" Just walk a little closer dear. We won't bite. " A sweet tone mingles with the madness, like poison.

All of a sudden, bright light fills the room. The light hurts my eyes; they automatically shut as my hands move to cover them. I hear footsteps walking towards me, and I'm scared that it's those crazy women. They're going to eat me. This is my last few moments alive. I never thought I'd die like this.

All the people I've ever cared about pass through my mind: Newt, Minho, Noah, my mom, my dad, Lee, Teresa, Thomas, Nathaniel. Teresa and Thomas don't even remember me! I'll die, and they won't even care.

" What do you think you're doing down here? " Janson's voice permeates my thoughts. Relief floods through me as I slowly move my hands from my eyes. They're squeezed shut, but the light still seems too bright. " You're not allowed down here. Or anywhere for that matter. What happened to training? "

" Change of plans. " I say, slowly opening my eyes. Janson stands before me wearing his usual clothes. A white lab coat with a green turtle neck and tan pants.

" Wrong answer. " Janson says, rushing forward and grabbing my arm. He pulls me further down the hall, and that's when I notice it. The blood splatters on the white walls and tiles. " There's a reason this place was off-limits to everyone. "

Insane murmurs vibrate through the air, and chains are rattled. We enter the room, and there are six cages. In each one a person resides-at least I think they're people. Their hair is missing and their eyes are bug-eyed and crazy. Skin is missing from their faces, and teeth are spit out in the floor. The supposedly ' white ' room looks more red than white. A metal table is in the middle of the room, torture devices laid out on it. Each one looks painful, and more fear builds up inside me. Are they going to use these things on me?

" These are Cranks, and your new best friends. " Janson says, nodding at one of the cells in the corner. It's empty and clean, and dread works it's way into me. " If you wanted down here, you'll get your wish. "

He throws me into the cell and locks it behind me. I scoot further back in the corner, getting as far away from the other cranks as possible. I rest my tired back against the wall.

" Please Janson. Don't do this. " I plead. Every fiber of my being regrets opening that door and falling down the steps.

" I'm sorry, but you look pretty comfortable. " Janson says with a smile. " I'll see you later. "

With that he turns on his heels and walks away, leaving me with these cannibalistic monsters.

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 **What did you think? I hope you don't mind me calling the Gladers, Familiars instead. They will always be Gladers, but I don't think Louisa considers them that anymore. So I made up my own thing.**

 **I might get the next chapter up friday, I don't know. Anytime I start throwing days out there I never get it out on time.**

 **Also, I had to write this chapter on my phone. Typing on my computer makes my wrist hurt, and typing on my phone doesn't. So if something doesn't make sense, please, point it out and I will fix it.**

 **Thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews! Have a good day, night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to sleep.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy. :)**

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" Why don't you come a little closer? " The Crank in the cage across from me whispers. " You're such a pretty thing. I bet you'd taste delicious. "

I ignore her words as I study her face. The skin on her cheek is peeling off, causing blood to slowly works its way down her face. She's wearing a thin hospital gown that's stained scarlet. Scratch marks trace her arms, scabbed over in some parts, others fresh and bleeding. Dried blood and dirt are caked under her fingernails. Her hair is thin and stringy; patches of it pulled out. A malicious grin lives on her face, showing the five teeth she has left. Even those are yellowing and brown with bacteria.

" Pretty ladies shouldn't lie to their elders. "

 _This is what Newt will look like if fail._ The thought runs through my mind like a broken record, setting my determination in stone. The insane laughter and rotten skin isn't him. I can't let him become this. I hate to think this, but I'd rather kill Newt than let him be like this.

Sadly, I can't do anything stuck in this damned cell!

" Hi. " I say quietly. My only way out could be to get some sort of articulated thought from these Cranks.

" Oh! The girl speaks! " A Crank from three cells down yells.

" What does she say? What does she say! " Another one shouts.

" Shut your pie holes you incessant freaks. " A girl says. Unlike the others, this voice is clear. It has a British twinge to it, and no madness lurks behind it. My eyes search the room, looking for one sane face. She could be my ticket out of here.

They land on a girl, around the age thirteen, sitting huddled in a corner. Her cell is diagonal from mine, and it's the bloodiest one here. She looks thin and frail, like one touch could shatter her. Her brown hair falls around her shoulders in beautiful waves. Her chocolate brown eyes are glued to the floor, empty and hollow. A certain hopelessness surrounds her, like an aura she's giving off. She's too young to be a Crank, isn't she?

I crawl to the front of my cell, being sure to stay out of the clutches of the insane Crank next to me. Becoming Crank food is not the way I plan on dying.

" Hey. " I say softly. Her eyes barely glance over in my direction. " What's your name? "

" What makes you think you have a right to know? " She goes back to staring at the tile on the floor.

Her response barely throws me off. I was expecting it—she is a Crank after all.

" My name is Louisa. "

" I never asked what your name was. " The girl snaps, and I grab the cell bars and pull myself closer.

" She speaks. She speaks! Let us listen. " A crazed Crank says. I ignore them as I try to think of something to bring this little girls barriers down.

" Why-" I start, but she interrupts me.

" I'm really not in the mood. Could you just, I don't know, shut up? " The little girl spits fire. I've tried to be the water that puts it out, but it seems like I'm going to have to fight fire with fire.

" No. And you wanna know why? " I ask, but I don't give her time to reply. " Because I want to get the hell out of here. I've got places to see and people to save. "

She looks up at me, her hair leaving her face. Scratch marks are on her neck—whether they're self inflicted or caused from someone else is unclear.

" Don't we all? " She whispers, a distant look overtaking her features.

" Everybody has their problems. " I say.

" What makes yours so important? " She asks.

" Mine are important to me. I'll do anything to solve them. Just like you would do with yours. " I say.

She goes back to looking at floor of her cell. The light above the cells flicker, but she ignores it.

" They're coming. " She says, fear edging into her voice.

Hope rises inside of me. Hope that it's Janson, and that he's coming to get me out of here. The other half of me is scared shitless. What if they're going to treat me like these Cranks? What if I'm not actually immune?

Screams of panic permeate the room, and I cover my ears. My eyes stay on the entrance, watching for Janson or anybody else. I would listen for footsteps, but the only thing I can hear is the wailing of these crazed morons. It's starting to give me a headache, even though I have my ears covered.

" Hello my darlings. " A woman says as she strolls into the room. Her black heels clack on the floor so loudly I can almost hear it over the Cranks' screaming. " Please. Silence. "

When the Cranks don't stop screaming, she shakes her head. I see the little girl stare up at the lady in terror. The lady moves her hand into her lab coat pocket, painted nails gleaming in the light. A slow, sickening smile spreads across her wrinkled face. Her hand wraps around something—

A scream escapes my mouth as electricity runs through my body. It's like every single one of my nerves has gone haywire and my eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head. My blood is boiling inside of me. I feel like I'm slowly being cooked from the inside out.

Then, it stops. I can feel it's lingering effects: my teeth feel like they might fall out and my hair smells burnt. I feel a liquid seeping out of my eyes, and it's too thick to be tears. I raise a shaky hand to wipe whatever it is away. But when I pull my hand away, I stop moving. There's blood on my hand.

I hastily wipe at my eyes again, feeling the liquid smear across my face. I look at my hand, finding even more blood on there. My eyes go wide. Tears made of blood. It seems kind of fitting, in a way.

" Oh, Louisa. I didn't see you there. " The lady says, an apologetic smile splattered on her face. Her eyes bare into mine, and I glare at her. " Oh dear. "

She walks closer to me, her skin tight black dress moving with her. Her veiny legs are exposed, making me cringe. I feel the urge to scoot away, but I hold my ground.

" I was ordered not to hurt you. "

I imagine how I must look. Hunched over in the cell with frizzy hair and a bloody face. I'm probably starting to look like a Crank.

" You must be wondering what's going on. " She says, stopping just arms length away from my cell. I send her my coldest look, hoping to deter her from speaking, but it doesn't work. " You see, these things, " She stops to gesture at the Cranks, " are abominations. We are making their worthless lives mean something. "

" How? " I ask, my voice cracking. My throat feels like it's been fried.

" They volunteer for experiments. The experiments are to see if the Flare is reversible, and to see the body of a Crank. We study them. " The lady says all this with a sadistic smile. I don't know what kind of experiments they're doing on these Cranks, but it's not humane. Hell, even keeping them alive is making them suffer. Just kill them and put them out of their misery.

" You are going to help me. " She says, walking forward with a key in her boney hand. She was the golden thing in my face, taunting me with its promises. This could be my ticket out of here, but can I really torture people? The answer is simple.

" No. " I say, balling my hands into fists. I expect the electric shock to come, but it never does.

" I'm sorry. But you don't have a choice. " She wraps her hand around one of the bars. " Not when the lives of those you love are at stake. "

This could be my chance to test that theory. Would WICKED really kill my family? I'm praying that the answer is no. I don't want to believe that my mom would work for such a sickening organization. I don't want to believe that _I_ worked for such an organization.

" I said no. " I say, this time more forcefully. It makes my raw throat burn, but I ignore it.

The lady raises her eyebrows. " No? " She questions. " Well then. "

She reaches into her pocket again, and I brace myself for the inevitable shock, but it never comes. Instead, she pulls a phone out of her pocket and dials a number. After a couple of rings, the other line picks up. The woman's ruby red lips stretch into a wicked smile. The sight makes me sick to my stomach. _Did I just get one of my friends killed?_

 _"_ I'll get back to you. " The lady says before walking away. She opens the first cell and the Crank in there darts forward. His clothes are nothing but strands of thread. Sores are all over his back, and the skin on his arms is missing. It makes me gag.

She manages to get the Crank subdued. How, I don't exactly know. One second he was trying to eat her and the next he's glancing around, dazed and confused. He stumbles over his own feet and falls face first in the floor. I hear a crack, and know he broke his nose.

The lady shakes her head, the disgust clear on her face. She simply steps over him as she moves the tools off of the table and onto the floor. The first one she picks up looks like a pair of pliers. My mind races thinking about all the rotting teeth that were pulled using them. The next ones look like shears they use for sheep. I don't even want to know what they're used for. The rest are small surgical tools-things you can find in a hospital.

I notice straps on either side of the table, and I feel pity for the man. I scoot to the very back of my cell as the lady hoists the Crank onto the table. His body doesn't move. It's like he's dead. A sack of blood and bones WICKED pokes at until they get what they want.

She straps him in and picks up the scalpel. The blade gleams in the light as she presses it to his neck. She pushes down and I expect a scream, but nothing happens. He just lays there and let's her cut him. It's like he's given up. What drugs did that bitch give him?

I shake my head and hug my knees to my chest. Who tortures people? I don't care what it's for. No living soul should be treated like this. Poked and prodded at until they bleed to death. This makes it seem like the Familiars got off easy.

" I don't get it. Where are we going? " I hear a voice yell from down the corridor. My heart jumps to my throat.

Not five seconds later he's shoved into the light. The lady barely acknowledges him, but he notices her. He sees the Cranks and the blood, and his eyes go wide. They dart everywhere, scanning the room. And then they land on me.

" Louisa? " Minho breathes out. I shake my head as he rushes over to my cell. He grabs the bars so tight his knuckles turn white. He pulls on the door, but it doesn't budge.

" You need to leave. " I force out, my voice sounding raspy.

" What? No. I'm not leaving you here. " Minho says, glancing over at the lady who is now wiping her hands on her lab coat. " What the hell is going on? "

" I don't know Minho. " I say, my voice cracking. " Just leave, please. "

My eyes start to water. Whether it's from my emotions or my sore throat, I don't know. All I know is that if he doesn't leave, he'll be tortured.

" I thought I was a traitor. "I rasp out. If he hates me, he'll leave.

" You are. " Minho says, his eyes pleading for me to tell him something useful. Something he can use to get me out of here.

" Then leave. " I say. " Leave me to whatever-"

" Well now. " The lady says, shoving the dead Cranks body in the floor. " That was no fun. "

I stare at the corpse in bewilderment. Was it an accident, or did she mean to kill him?

" Quite personally, I like it when they scream. " She says, staring right at Minho. Panic and concern build up inside of me. This is all my fault. I can't let her torture Minho. Even if it means I have to discard my own humanity.

" I'll do it. " I say, just as she starts to walk towards him. He looks down at me in confusion, but I ignore him as I stare the old hag down.

" Will you now? " She says, smiling. " This ought to be interesting. "

" Just let Minho go. " I say, forcing myself up on wobbly legs. I grab one of the cell bars for stability. Without it, I might fall over.

" Of course! " I expect Minho to be relieved, but he isn't. He still seems tense. " But if he breathes a word of this to anyone, I will feed you to the Cranks. "

An involuntary shiver runs down my spine as I feel imaginary teeth bite into my flesh. She walks over, forcing Minho to move away from the door. She uses the gold key to unlock it, setting me free. Yet, I've never felt more trapped.

I take a couple of shaky steps before Minho grabs my arm. I look down to where he's holding it, staring with a blank face.

" If you don't leave, I'll die. " I hiss. He hesitates, but his hand leaves my skin. I don't look at him as he walks away, feeling my throat tighten. I can't help but feel like my hope is leaving with him, attached to him like a leech. What are the chances I'll ever see him again?

" Perfect! " The lady says, clapping her hands together. " Let's get started. "

She opens the little girl's cell, and my stomach drops. Her eyes are wide with terror and she's shaking her head. The lady pays no attention to the fact that the girl is trembling as she grabs her arm and drags her to the table. She pulls against the woman's grip, but to no avail.

" Louisa, secure the straps. " The lady says, putting the girl on the table. I can only stand there, watching in horror. The little girl's eyes are pleading for me not to do this, but I have to. If I don't, Minho will get hurt.

" I'm so sorry. ' I whisper as I wrap the leather straps around her wrists. I expect her to kick with her feet, but she just stares at my face. I know she's never going to forget me. You never forget the face of the person who was your last hope.

" Good. Now make her scream. " The lady says. I look up at her, dread filling me.

" Why? " I ask.

" For a cure. " The lady says, taking my hand in hers. " Just do it. "

She hands me the scalpel, and I take it, shaking hard. I turn around, eyes wide and staring at the girl. Tears are streaking down her face, leaving trail marks through the dirt and blood. The lady's hands were covered in the blood of the man. Are mine going to look like that? Covered in the blood of this little girl? The blood of an innocent?

I press the blade to her chest, which rises and falls with rapid breaths.

" Good Louisa. Just like that. " The lady says while leaning over my shoulder. I can smell her breath—it smells like tuna.

I push the knife further down, drawing a drop of blood. The little girl whimpers, and my eyes flash up to her face. It's twisted in pain. All of a sudden, it all becomes too much. The girl doesn't deserve this. I can't do this to her. I will never do this to someone.

I lift the knife from her chest and turn around to face the woman.

" What are you doing? " She asks, her voice shaking.

I do nothing but grip the scalpel tighter. My breathing becomes labored and my mind is blank. Faster than she can react, I bring the knife up, and bury it in her stomach. She stumbles back a couple of steps, her hand going to the knife. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is hanging open. I follow her staggering steps backward, and watch as she falls. Her mouth is moving like a fish, and I stare down, a hollow feeling inside of me. With a certain essence of vengeance, I bend down and yank the knife out. Her chest stops rising, and my heart sinks.

Blood pools onto her black dress, altering it's color. I stare down, feeling sick to my stomach. I just killed someone, _again._ I never wanted to hurt anyone, but she wasn't going to stop. If I hadn't killed her I would've had to have tortured someone. _I had to do this._ I tell myself, drilling the thought into my head. I glance at the knife and drop it; it lands with a clatter. It was coated with her blood.

What did I get myself into? I collapse onto my knees, landing next to her dead body. How many people knew her? How many people have I hurt but killing one person?

Tears sting the back of my eyes. They're not for her. They're for me. Each time I kill someone it's like I lose a little bit of myself. How can WICKED kill so many people? Innocent kids to beat it all?

They've lost their humanity in the pursuit of a cure. They kill kids to study their brainwaves. But they are getting closer to a cure. Ironic really. How they kill people to save people.

But it's the same thing I'm doing. I killed the lady in exchange for the little girl. Will it always be one or the other?

Will I have to become a murderer to save the people I love?

* * *

 **What did you think?**

 **also I SAW THE SCORCH TRIALS NOT TWO HOURS AGO AND I KID YOU NOT NEWT CALLS THOMAS TOMMY AND OOMGAK LHD AU**

 **ok now that I got that out of my system, I feel like most of my followers from the last story aren't here. Where y'all at?**

 **Also I wrote this on my phone again, so please let me know if there are any grammar mistakes or if anything doesn't make sense. I'll fix it.**

 **Im excited to get the next chapter written so I'll be back Monday! Maybe Tuesday.**

 **Have a good day!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Not my best chapter...**

* * *

I don't know how long I kneeled there, staring at the blood that's beginning to pool around the lady. I've been losing track of time a lot lately, like my life is slipping away from me. I would let it if it weren't for the fact that I am the only person that can save Newt. The one thing that reminds me I have to live is this determination inside of me.

If it weren't for that, I would be numb. Oblivious to everything. I would probably skip meals and forget about my health. I wouldn't kill myself, but I wouldn't try to live.

Once again, Newt is the only thing keeping me alive.

" Are you just going to kneel there or are you going to help me? " The little girl on the table asks in a shaky voice. It brings me back down into reality, and out of my thoughts. Thoughts can be suffocating if you're left alone with them for too long. They'll drive you crazy. Just like a Crank.

I stand, wincing because of my sore muscles. My back is still out of alignment, making it hard to walk. The girl is staring up at the ceiling, her face vacant. I undo the straps on her wrists, and she sits up, breathing hard.

" Nandini. " She suddenly says.

" What? " I ask.

" It's my name. " She stands and grabs the key off of the lady. After that she grabs the scalpel, and I stare at her, curiosity eating at me.

" What are you doing? " I ask. She barely pays any attention to me as she starts to walk down the hall.

" Escaping! " She yells over her shoulder. I hurry after her, not wanting to be left alone with the Cranks. Granted, she is a Crank, but she's not as crazy as some of them.

" The stairs are a dead end. " I say, thinking back to my trip down here. " The door at the top is latched shut. "

The hallway grows dimmer as we walk, and I have to strain to see her small figure.

" You don't think I know that? " She snaps. " Why are you even following me? "

" I don't want to be down there. " I say, images of peeling skin flashing through my mind. " I can help. "

She scoffs. " I doubt it. "

" I know the facility. " She glances over her shoulder at me in doubt, and I resist the urge to roll my eyes. This kid is too suspicious for her own good.

" Who was that guy? Minho? " She asks. " How do you know him? "

" What makes you think you have the right to know? " I say, throwing her own words back at her.

" I'm curious. " She says with a shrug of her shoulders. Her hospital gown rises and falls, fluttering as she walks.

" I'll tell you if you tell me how you got here. " I say, wanting to know more about this kid. If I'm going to let her lead me wherever, then I deserve to know more about here.

" Deal. " She says. " But you first. "

She starts to drag her hands along the wall, searching for something. I raise my eyebrow, but don't say anything.

" Minho is…. A friend. " I settle on the word friend, because the relationship is complicated. We were close friends, then he said he hated me, then he kissed me. Friend is the most simple word. Companions, acquaintances, pals.

" How did you meet? " She asks, looking over her shoulder.

" The Maze. " I say, memories flashing through my mind. The way he carried me through the Maze and into the Glade when I wasn't eating right. The way he go so offended over a little comment on his hair. Just, the way he was Minho. I'm so lost in my thoughts about him that I don't realize that Nandini stopped. I walk right into her back.

" The Maze? " She questions, a curious tone overtaking her voice. Hope mingles with it, but I wonder about her past. She turns around and looks up at me, but I can barely see her face.

" Was there a boy named Newt there? " My heart drops into my stomach. How does she know Newt?

" Yea. " I say slowly, " Why? "

" He's my brother. " She says, and all of a sudden it clicks into place. The british accent, and the brown eyes. Newt's blond hair always had a twinge of brown to it, and now I know why. But, she's a Crank. She has the Flare. I can't let her near her own brother.

She turns around and continues walking, and I forget all about asking her about her past. My thoughts go to Newt, and how this could affect him. If he knew he had a sister I know he would do anything to protect her. He would love her and chase away any boys that go after her. He needs someone, family. I'm not that. This girl could chase away his depression.

But I need him. If I let Nandini near him she'll infect him with the Flare. I can't have that. My life would become dull without him. A constant state of depression and sadness, with no motivation to live.

It's like a heavy fog floats in my mind, clouding my senses. My thoughts have disappeared within it, leaving me to wander through the mist searching for them. I know about the cliffs in my mind; the ones that drop into black abysses. With all this fog, it's impossible to tell where they are. I'm scared I'll walk right off of one, and land in a place that's nothing but suffocating darkness—a swirling rage of depression and self-derogatory whispers.

" I've been here looking for him. " She says, and I snap out of my thoughts. " He's all I have left. "

I can't take him away from her. I never even thought of how Nandini might feel. She has all of her memories of her brother. Every time they fought, every time they bonded, she remembers it. He doesn't.

" Has he talked about me? "

" No. He doesn't have his memories from before the Maze. "

" Oh. " She says. I didn't think it was possible to sound so broken in one syllable.

" It can be fixed, though. I got my memories back. " I try to cheer her up, and the thought makes me happy too. Newt remembering us as goofy kids pranking people. It would be perfect. I find myself grinning at the thought.

She looks over her shoulder and narrows her eyes at my smile. " What are you to him? "

" Honestly, " I breathe out, " I don't really know. "

A light flashes down the hall, bright and white. It flickers off, then back on, as if it were a flashlight running out of batteries. My skin prickles with fear as I freeze to the spot. Nandini continues. If I could see her face, it would hold a certain fascination. I suppose when you get used to the fluorescent lights of a torture chamber, a floating, flickering light would be weird. Then, the light lands on her.

She stops, rooted to the floor with shock. The light makes my eyes hurt as it flashes to me. I squint, raising my arm above my eyes. I can see a shadowy figure striding towards us. Nandini turns, and tries to run, but a hand grabs her arm, keeping her in place.

" Let me go you weirdo! " She shouts, kicking and writhing around. I stand and watch, unable to move. If she get's taken, she won't have to see Newt. Newt won't get infected. " Louisa, help me! "

" Louisa? " Someone says. " Is that who that was? "

My stomach drops to my feet. " Let her go you ass. " I hiss.

A smile forms on his face, his white teeth showing through the dark. " What are you willing to do? "

The flashlight is still shining on Nandini, her face full of terror. I can see the way she looks like Newt now: I've seen that same look on him too often. If Newt ever found out that I let his sister be taken back to be tortured he would hate me. Hell, I still don't know if I'll ever see him again.

" What are you saying, Lee? " I ask, annoyed. I know I screwed him over, but he doesn't have a right to demand anything of me.

" I'll let her go, " He pauses, thinking. " If you follow me. "

Nandini's eyes are pleading, begging for me to do this. But Lee could be out for revenge. He probably hates me with every fiber of his body. I could end up in a worse situation than the one I'm in now. But, Nandini...

" Okay. Just let the girl go. "

" Give me your word. " Lee squeezes her arm tighter, and she screams out.

" I promise I'll follow you. " I rush out, in a blur of panic. He releases Nandini and she falls to her knees, breathing hard. I have no doubt that billions of bad memories are passing through her mind—memories of torture. And she endured all that because she was looking for her brother, for Newt.

" Good. " Lee grabs my arm and pulls me towards the stairs, leaving Nandini behind. I cast a look over my shoulder, and she mouths the word thank you. Or at least that's what I think she did. It's so dark I can barely see her.

" Where are we going? " I ask Lee.

" To the doctor. "

" Why? "

" I was asked to get you and take you to there. "

" Impossible. " I mumble. No one here cares about my well being. They don't care that my muscles pop and ache every time I walk. They don't care if I have to walk hunched over because I can't straighten my back. They don't care.

" I have to admit, you're looking pretty rough. " Lee says, then he mumbles, " I never thought they would keep you down there. "

" What do you mean? " I ask, suspicious of him. I can't trust Lee. I want to cut all ties with him and just forget we ever met. It wouldn't surprise me if he felt the same way.

" Nothing. " He says, louder. He shines the flashlight ahead of us and I see the stares I fell down. In a couple of steps, we're walking up them and back into the main WICKED headquarters. I almost trip a couple of times, but Lee holds me up. I really need to get coordination.

When we get to the top, I see the keypad on the left side of it. He puts a code in and the door opens. Cool air from the hallway mingles with the hot, stuffy air, and I shiver. It's like the air is freezing me, but I know it's just from where I got used to the air of the torture chamber. Lee simply pulls me through and shuts the door behind us.

More people are in the hallways, making me think that it's daytime. A tiny little bit of me hopes it is, just so I can run into one of the Familiars. The other half, hopes it's night time. Janson threatened to kill anyone who saw me. I now have no doubt in my mind that they would. After what happened down in the basement with Minho, they're cruelty was proven.

I wonder what Minho is doing right now. He can't tell anyone, so I imagine he's just going on with what he was doing before. Forgetting about me. It's what I want him to do. There are so many things WICKED could do to him. If he forgets then maybe he will be knocked off the list of people to use against me.

Lee throws me into my room, and I land on the floor with a groan. Pain laces through my entire body. It feels like every muscle has been pushed to it's limit, like they're heavy and full of lead. I simply lay there on the floor as Lee sits on my bed. I never knew a floor could be so comfortable.

" What are you doing? " I ask him while staring up at the white ceiling.

" Am I not allowed to help you? " Lee asks.

" It's just, I thought you would hate me. "

" Oh I do. " He replies with a light laugh. " But it's like you said all those weeks ago. ' People always have a special tie to the first person they loved '"

I feel like banging my head on a wall. He's got this love/hate relationship with me. I can't find the heart to tell him that he should just forget about me. What would I do if Newt told me to forget about him? All I know is that it would include a lot of crying.

" I'm sorry Lee. " I find myself saying. " I don't know what I was thinking. "

But I do know. I know that I was just trying to save the Familiars. I had to make sure they were safe. Why didn't I just sneak in instead of using someone?

Lee let's out a bitter laugh. " I didn't think it was possible to feel like this. I thought it was always a lie, a myth, a fairy tale. "

I take my eyes off of the ceiling and look at him. He's watching me with pain etched all over his face.

" Every time I look at you, I get this pain that I can't describe. It eats me alive, and I want to stop loving you. I need to stop. " Lee takes a deep breath, closing his eyes. " But I can't bring myself to forget about you. And I hate you for that. I hate you for being you. "

I think back to the memory I had a few days ago while I was passed out in the Maze. My mom had warned be about falling in love. I told her it made people stronger, and I believed it for the longest time. But now I know what she meant by it breaking people. You can always fall, but there might not be someone there to catch you.

" I can't control that. " I say. " I did what I had to. "

" I know. " Lee runs a shaky hand through his black hair. I watch, guilt prodding at me. I did this to him. " I would've done the same thing for you. "

I don't say anything. I can't change the way he feels just by talking to him. Nothing can fix him. He just has to move on. There's nothing I can do to help him with that. I broke him, and I can't help him build himself back up.

The door slides open and I sit up. The simple task causes my back to ache, sending pain all the way through my legs. When I look up, the woman who took my Swipe out is standing before me, smiling. The smile sets me off, and I immediately know something is up. She seems too happy to just be helping me.

" Let's go Louisa. The subjects just started eating lunch. If we hurry you can get back here before they finish. " She says as I stand. A small whimper escapes me, but her and Lee ignore it. She simply turns and walks out the room, leaving me to follow. I offer a small smile to Lee as I leave, but he shakes his head.

The lady leads me through a maze of hallways, and I try to figure out what I'm going to do next. I don't have any leverage against Ava or Janson. There's no way they would accept simple threats. Ava could kill me with a flick of her wrist. Guards would swarm around me, and decapitate me. My life would be over and I'd be left to whatever hell follows.

I shake the depressing thoughts as I look up. I've never seen this part of WICKED, so I know I'm not going to the hospital wing.

" Where are you taking me? " I ask, walking faster to be beside her. She glances at me from the corner of her eye, and I keep the frown on my face.

" I see you are as perceptive as people say. " She says, and stops in front of a door. There doesn't seem to be anything special about it—it looks like every other door in this damned place. But, there is one difference. The silver thingy on the side. It looks like something you would slide your credit cards through. The lady only solidifies my thoughts as she slides her key card through it. The door slides open, and she shoves me inside, locking the door behind me.

Panic flares up inside me and I run to the door. I pull and push on the door, trying to get it open, but it doesn't budge.

" Nice try, Louisa. " Janson says from behind me. I slowly turn around, scared of what I might see. When my eyes land on the stuff in the room, I know I had a right to be scared.

There is a table there with straps on either side. Another one rests beside it, a resting spot for numerous tools. My mind flashes back to the basement. The way they tortured people with the same things. The color drains from my face and Janson simply laughs. Two people are on either side of him—scientists I suppose.

" I see you know what these are for. " He says, and I look over at the wall. Several TV's are on the walls, each one showing a different part of WICKED. My eyes land on the one that shows the cafeteria. The Familiars are laughing, and smiling. Like they think they're safe. My eyes become glued to that screen, on Newt's face. His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes, but he's smiling. He's trying to be happy.

" What do you want? " I hiss.

" For you to do this without struggling. " He nods his head the scientists, and they walk over to me and grab my arms. I don't struggle because it's pointless. I'm trapped here. " As much as I'd love to stay and watch, I can't. " He smiles and leaves the room, flashing his key card at the scanner.

I look up at the scientists on either side of me, pleading for them to show me mercy. They simple smile, dragging me over to the table. The metal is cold against my skin. They force me to straighten my back out, and I hear a sickening crack as pain races up and down it. I grit my teeth as they strap me in. The leather straps are tight, and if I try to struggle my skin will go raw.

One of them grabs the scalpel, nearly shaking with excitement. The blade presses to my skin with a sting, but before it can cut too deep, his friend stops him.

" Wait, remember what Janson said. " He says, and the other one nods. He puts the scalpel back on the table next to this one and walks to the corner behind me. I hear shuffling, and then the sound of metal clicking into place. Next thing I know, this table is being elevated, the angle is changing. The bottom moves down and the top moves up until it reaches a 45 degree angle. Shock courses through my body.

I'm staring into a camera lens.

I change my focus onto the TV's behind it, and see another one of WICKED's slaves standing in the cafeteria, talking. Then, he gestures at the new monitors that decorate the wall. Their once black screens flicker on, and I find myself staring at me. My heart stops beating.

I watch as the scientists, now masked, approach from behind me. They each have a blade their hands, and I struggle against the bindings, fear pushing me to escape. I can hear my blood pulsing through my ears as they press their blades to my arms, just barely grazing the skin. I stare into the camera, pleading for someone to help me. But all I see is my own reflection through the black lens.

I scream as they push the knives into my skin.

* * *

 **Nandini is based off of my internet friend, AKA swagmaster5000. It's her birthday present. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! EVEN THOUGH IT WAS A WEEK AGO.**

 **I hope you enjoyed that.** **Next chapter in Newt's POV. IM SO EXCITED.**

 **I'm going to the library now, bye!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Another crappy chapter. I'm sorry guys. Also for the late update. Writers block is a bitch.**

* * *

I can't move. I'm frozen to my seat as billions of emotions run through me: elatedness, hope, confusion, rage, sorrow, and most prominently, shock. The ache in my heart, the emptiness, lightens a little bit. The girl I love is alive.

And then, she screams.

The color is drained from her face and blood runs down her forearms. The two men that slice her like a slab of meat are wearing black ski masks, making it impossible to know who they are. A deep hatred plants its self deep inside me, and all of it is aimed towards those bloody bastards.

" Tell them Louisa. " One of the men say, their voice muffled by the mask. " Tell them what you did. "

She seemingly ignores them as she stares at something behind behind the camera. Her face is holding some distant look, but it's full of sorrow, regret and longing. The men move beside her, and I want to scream out and warn her, but I know she won't hear me. The man takes the scalpel and drags it across her collar bone. A low, scream escapes her, and tears spring up in her eyes.

But she never pleads for them to stop. Their blades slice her skin so many times, and they tell her to speak the truth, but she never does. Her screams still pierce through the speakers, each one full of agony. Her arms are coated with blood, and her once navy blue tank top has been tainted black. They leave her face unmarred, but there's still dried blood on it. This can't be the first time this has happened.

The thought makes my blood run cold.

" Newt, are you okay? " Thomas asks, looking at me.

" No. " I say, my voice feeling strangled. I wipe at my face, surprised to find tears there. I was so engaged in her, I hadn't even realized I started crying. It's just, she's alive. All this time. It seems as though her bloody existence has been nothing but hell. What did she do to deserve this?

" Who is that? " Thomas asks, his voice indifferent.

" Louisa. " Minho answers for me, looking away from the screens just as another scream permeates the cafeteria.

" I thought she was dead. "

" She never was. " Minho says, and I cast a look at him. " Apparently. "

The screaming stops, and I look to the screen, scared for her life. Her chest rises and falls with shallow breaths, and her head hangs forward. She blacked out. The pain was so bad it knocked her unconscious.

" What the hell? " Someone in the cafeteria growls. I turn my head and find a boy our age striding in the room. His eyes are glued on the TV's and he's seething. He approaches one of the people sitting quietly at their table—the doctor I think—and grabs her by the shoulders.

" You said she'd be safe! " He yells, the vein in his neck popping out.

" People lie Lee. " The lady says, " Get used to it. "

" Fuck you! " He storms away, sending a glare our way. I shake my head and find Minho staring at that guy, Lee I think was his name.

" That guy knows something. " Minho says, standing.

" About what? "

" About Louisa! " Minho raises his voice while walking away.

I quickly stand and rush after him, almost running into someone. Louisa is all I can think about. The last things I said to her, and her last words to me. Did she know WICKED was going to take her in? Is she a traitor? Did she leave us to die? No. I can't believe that. I won't.

I think back to when we first got here. I knew I had heard her voice. It was just the faintest of whispers, but I could tell it was hers. I was so close to opening that door. To seeing her. I could've taken her into my arms and shielded her from the world. She wouldn't be suffering. But I didn't. I let her asshole of a brother convince me not to. I chalked it up to the grief driving me crazy.

Minho grabs Lee by the shoulder and makes him face us. I cross my arms over my chest and glare at him, and he glares right back.

" Welcome to WICKED. " Lee says with a fake smile plastered on his face.

" Shut the hell up. " Minho snaps. " I know we all feel the same about her so let's cut the crap. Alright? "

Lee rolls his eyes, but doesn't speak. Minho takes it as a sign to ask questions.

" Why are they doing that to her? "

" She killed one of the scientists. " Lee says with a shrug of his shoulders. " I don't blame Lo. The lady was a bitch. "

Louisa has murdered two people. I just know the guilt is eating her alive—driving her crazy.

" How long is it going to last? "

" I don't know. The people doing it have always hated her. "

I notice the sorrow on Lee's face when he talks about Louisa.

" Is it pos-"

" What was she to you? " I ask, interrupting Minho. Lee's face holds shock for a moment, but he quickly smooths it over with a smirk.

" I was wondering when you would ask. We were _lovers. "_ He exaggerates the word lover, and grins. Jealousy surges through me. He knew about Louisa, they, they, Oh God. Did they have sex? Isn't that what ' lovers ' means? I don't believe Louisa would do that after what happened with Reed.

I look over at Minho, but he doesn't seem shocked by the news. I know about Minho's feelings about Lo, he would be jealous, pissed off, and Lee wouldn't stand a chance. Yet, he just stands there, and continues his interrogation.

" Is it possible to save her? "

Lee rubs the back of his head. " I don't think so. "

" What do you mean you don't think so? " Minho says, shoving him into the wall. Lee hits the white wall with a thud, and replies.

" I mean, WICKED would catch us and kill us. " Anger coats his voice, but his cowardice still makes me want to punch him.

I turn and storm back into the cafeteria, resisting the urge to kick his ass. People who work for WICKED barely pay any attention to me as I pass them, a plan formulating in my head. It requires the assistance of all the Gladers, and it'll risk all of our lives, but I can't let Louisa suffer.

My eyes flicker up to the screens as I sit down—Louisa is still unconscious, and I can't help but be grateful for that. If she were awake the pain would be all too agonizing.

" I have a plan. " I say while sitting down. The Gladers look up at me, their faces holding shock. They still haven't shaken off the fact that Louisa is alive. But she won't be for long. Not if they keep hurting her like that.

" Dude. What are they doing to her? " Frypan asks, and his voice cracks.

" I don't know. " I say, " But I do know that we have to help her. "

" How? " Winston asks " We're safe here. Why cause trouble? "

" Are you really that dense? " Thomas asks, directing the question towards Winston. " Look around. The way we're watched, it's like they're still studying us. " He glances up at the screen. " I'm not safe anywhere someone is willing to do that to a person. "

" Thomas is right. " Minho says, sitting down next to us. " We aren't safe. "

" We get Louisa, and we get out. " Thomas says, taking the words right out of my mouth.

" What about the Scorch? And the Cranks? " Teresa says, more fear in her eyes than anything. She didn't know Louisa. Of course she wouldn't want to risk her life for someone she doesn't know.

" We deal with it. " I say.

" How are we going to get to her? " Minho questions.

I look over at her brother, who's keeping his head down. Minho seems to get what I'm implying, and he nods.

Nobody touches their food because of their loss of appetite. My salad is untouched, despite how little I have eaten these past couple weeks. My stomach feels empty, but I don't long for food. In fact, the thought of eating makes my stomach churn.

I push it away and stand. We've been in here for a hour now, that's long enough. As much as I wanted to see Louisa, how much I wished she were alive, I can't watch her like this. I stand to leave the suddenly stifling room, when loud shouts permeate the room, rooting me to the spot. The Gladers all trade looks of confusion, ten we look at the door. People wearing black armor are filing in the cafeteria with guns. _Guns._

" Everybody be quiet! " One of the men booms. I expect WICKED guards to come charging in here, and this huge fight will break out, but oddly enough, no one comes.

" Will all of the people who were in the mazes step forward. " He shouts and my heart thuds in my chest. I walk forward, slowly, leading the Gladers. I see another group, the girls, walking forward too. The people that are on either side of him walk towards us and grab our arms, pulling us along faster.

" You can't just- " A woman from WICKED starts, but gets cut off my a gunshot. Blood spreads on her shirt, and my eyes go wide.

" Don't talk. " The man who shot her says.

My hands start to shake. The man holding me in place sees it, and says, " Don't worry. We're here to save you. "

What? After all this time someone is actually here to save us? I want to believe it, I need to. But I can't. It doesn't make sense. Who would save a bunch of kids? We mean nothing to every one.

" Is this all of you? " The man asks, looking at all of us. We nod, and he smiles.

Then he starts firing random shots into the cafeteria.

We watch in muted horror as people from WICKED fall, one by one. Blood begins to pool on the white floor. When they try to fight back, more of the men open fire. WICKED is being annihilated. It's a massacre. Just like back in the Glade with the Grievers. I can't help but let a small satisfaction form deep inside of me. _Karma's a bitch, isn't it?_

Then, a woman who looks so much like Louisa stands, unable to watch her friends fall around her.

" Stop. " She says. Her voice is authoritative, like she's used to being in charge. She begins to walk forward, and she gets shot in her left shoulder. She continues to walk forward, and I can't help but feel a little pity for her. What can she do? Her co-workers are dying, and she's being forced to watch. Then, with a final shot to the stomach, she falls.

" Mom! " Noah yells, rushing over to her. He pushes her sandy blonde hair out of her eyes with a shaky hand. " You bastards! "

He gets shot. He lands next to his mother, blood pouring from the wound in his head. Wait, if that was his mother…. Then that means that Louisa just lost her family.

The last person from WICKED falls with a thud. The gunfire ceases, and everything is eerily quiet in WICKED. A man turns to us Gladers, and the people from the girl group.

" You are all safe now. " His eyes flicker to the monitors, but he simply ignore it. He ushers us forward, and out of the cafeteria. I turn around and look at Louisa one last time, and then I hear it. The one word that makes my heart shatter.

" Help. "

I can't leave without her.

" Hey! " I shout. One of the men turn around and look at me. HIs green eyes show annoyance.

" What? "

" There's a girl here. She's one of us. " I say.

" We can't afford to waste any time. We have to go now. " He stalks forward and grabs my arm, trying to pull me away, but I fight against his hold.

" I'm not leaving without her! " The Gladers behind me nod in agreement, and the man sighs.

" Janson! " He yells.

A man, wearing the same black uniform as everyone else, turns around. He looks like a rat. " What? "

" They want us to go off course and save that girl. "

Janson smiles. " We are supposed to save everyone. " He sighs. " I'll do it. "

He jogs down a hallway, and I resist the urge to follow him. I don't know these people, but I do know that they're going to save Louisa. I just want to hold her, and tell her everything will be alright. We're being saved from WICKED. We're going to be okay.

The pull a lever and a door opens. Hot stuffy air greets us and sand blows in. A helicopter is in front of a sand dune, waiting for our arrival. We get pushed forward and we take off in a jog, some feelings of excitement stirring inside of us.

But I stop because of one voice.

" Newt! " I hear footsteps from behind me, and I turn around to see Janson and Louisa, slowly jogging towards me. She looks horrible, and the wind blows sand onto her. It sticks to the blood on her arms. But, she's smiling. I let my own smile spread across my face.

I run as fast as I can towards her. She's right here. She's alive.

I nearly trip a couple of times, but it doesn't take long to reach her. I bring her into my arms, and hold her close. I can feel her tears, hot and wet on my shirt. I treasure the way she fits perfectly in my hold. I feel like my heart might burst.

" You're alive. " I say. My voice comes out strangled.

" Yea. " She says, and then starts to cry even harder.

" I am never letting you go. "

* * *

 **What did you think? I hope that went as well as I wanted it to. But I feel like the chapter was just... meh**

 **Also, i'm going to do some review responses. Only the ones for C4.**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ Glad you read everything! I will keep being fabulous. Or at least try to.**

 **Swagmaster5000~ YOU'RE WELCOME! XD and, I made it canon. Btw. Remember**

 **Fangirlwithapassion ~ Was it what you expected? I'm glad you love the story!**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ Honestly, You have been reviewing almost every chapter since the very beginning. Thank you so much. P.S. LEWT!**

 **Okay that was all of them.**

 **Honestly, I'm so disappointed in this chapter. I had writers block because Newt's POV has gotten hard to write in. Not only that but my brother deleted the chapter, and I had over 3500 words written. I tried to re write it, but came up a thousand words short.**

 **BY THE WAY, LOADS OF FLUFF COMING**

 **Have a nice day, night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to go sleep. ( I've been working on this all night and it's currently 11:00 in the morning. I was up all night working on this. )**


	6. Chapter 6

**I wrote all of this on my phone, so tell me if you see any grammar mistakes.**

* * *

I sit in the floor of the helicopter, wrapped in Newt's warm embrace. He won't let go of me, and I don't try to move. It's as if this hole inside of me has been filled, but only partially. Even now as he mumbles sweet nothings in my ear, his status as not immune plagues my mind.

My head is resting on his chest, and I'm glad he's here to hold me up. I feel as though my skull is full of bricks. My stomach is doing flips, and despite the heat of the Scorch, I shiver. It's probably from where I haven't eaten.

" Are you alright love? " Newt asks over the helicopters loud blades, and I smile. Oh how I longed to hear him call me that.

" I just haven't eaten in a couple of days. " I mumble. I look up from the metal floor, and at all of the other people in here. I'm surprised by how little there are. Sonya watches me with pity, no doubt remembering our brief friendship.. Frypan looks like he's about to burst with happiness, and Winston eyes me with suspicion. But it's Minho that surprises me the most. He simply stares at the ground, a distant look clouding his eyes.

Weariness overtakes me, and I let my eyes drift shut, Minho being the last thing I see.

…..

" Get up. We have to go! " Minho says, shaking my shoulders. He jumps out of the helicopter and sprints across the sand.

Newt wakes up, still feeling groggy. He stands, and offers his hand down to me. I smile and take it, my heart fluttering in my chest. I try to stand, but my legs won't move. My smile drops, and worry flickers across Newt's face. Panic flares in my stomach, hot and searing.

" I can't move my legs. " I shout over the thundering helicopter. A screech is heard in the distance, and a guard jerks Newt away from me.

" Move your ass! " The guard shouts at me.

" I can't move my legs! " I don't feel anything. He groans like a kid being forced to eat his vegetables. He grabs me and carries me to the structure. It looks too similar to WICKED. Not only that, but Janson saved me earlier. This isn't safety—it's a trap.

Another screech sounds throughout the sand dunes, and my blood runs cold. It's inhuman. I've never heard anything like that. Gunshots resonate across the sand, and I hear bodies landing with thuds. If this is the Scorch, then those have to be Cranks. Even the ones in the cage never screamed like that.

The man carries me into the facility and the door shuts, echoing through out the room. It's empty except for the table in the middle, and the guards that line the walls. Food is piled high on the table, but I can't think about eating it. The thought makes my stomach churn.

" Lo? " Newt questions. He walks up to the man holding me. " I've got it from here. "

I'm passed from the strangers arms and into Newt's. A couple of his fingers touch the bare skin on my back as the hem of my shirt slides up. It feels like electricity is humming through my body when he touches me.

" Are you okay? "

" No. " I answer truthfully. I can't move my damn legs and I still have to save Newt from the Scorch, and Cranks.

His mouth opens to ask another question, but Janson's voice stops him.

" Welcome! " He says loudly, opening his arms as if to embrace us. " We are people who save people like you from WICKED. You are safe. "

I want to slap the fake smile right off of his face.

" Would all of the girls care to follow me? " He says, " I need to show you to your rooms. "

Other girls from group B walk forward, but I wouldn't even if I could feel my legs.

" I'm not leaving my friends. " I say, then I catch sight of Teresa. My breath catches, and I remember how I betrayed her. I lied to her. I broke her brother.

Janson's jaw ticks, but he replies in a steady voice. " Fair enough. " He looks at us, a fake warmth in his eyes. " I'll be back for you later. Help yourselves to the food. "

The Familiars move towards the table, and Newt does too. I hear his stomach growl, and I let out a small laugh.

" Just set me in one of the chairs. " I say, looking up at his face. His eyes dart down to me, and a smile spreads across his face. He carefully sets me in one of the chairs and sits next to me. He grabs an apple and bites into it.

He looks at me with such compassion, it makes my heart want to explode. He truly looks happy. When he smiles it makes his eyes shine. It's like he's a completely different boy from the one I watched through the beetle blades. He thought I was dead, and he cried for me. He was broken down, because of me. I never want to see him like that again.

" I'm sorry. " I tell Newt, ignoring the Familiars chatter.

" For what? "

" I'm sorry for how I made you feel. I'm sorry for being so close, yet not doing anything. I'm sorry I couldn't help you get out of the Maze. I'm sorry I stood by and watched idly as you guys struggled. I'm so sorry you thought I was dead. I, I " I pause, trying to get air into my lungs. It's like it's been sucked out of my body. " I'm sorry about Alby. Ben. Chuck. I'm so sorry. "

I realize that as I have been talking the Familiars stopped their talking and started to listen to me. I feel a tear roll down my face and I wipe it away, feeling ridiculous for crying. Is that all I can do?

" It's okay Lo. We don't know what you went through. " Frypan says before biting into a piece of chicken.

" By the looks of it, it was much worse than what happened to us. " Thomas adds. _He doesn't even know me anymore_ , I think with bitter remorse.

" What exactly happened at WICKED? I saw the bodies in the floor. Were there any survivors? " I ask, my mind going over the people I almost liked. Newt's face takes on a dark look, and my stomach drops.

" There were no survivors. " Minho says, uttering the first word since I've seen him.

 _No survivors._ It rings around in my mind, and I shake my head. I don't believe it. My brother and my mom are fine. They have to be. Lee is fine. They're alive and rebuilding WICKED as we speak.

" No. " I mumble. " It can't be true. "

" I'm sorry Lo. " Newt says, and the happiness I was feeling earlier evaporates, being replaced by the bitter coldness of loss. I feel my eyes water up, and I press my hands to them. I can't ruin the Familiars mood. They were happy, laughing and feeling safe. They deserve that.

" It's okay. " I bring my hands away from my face, and shove my emotions into a bottle. " How's the food? " I try to lighten the mood.

" It's really good. You should try some. " Thomas says before biting into pizza. Some grease from the food rolls down his chin, and I roll my eyes.

The food in front of me does look good. Better than anything we ever had at WICKED. I gingerly reach out and grab an apple, knowing that I have to eat. The white lights in the room make it's red peel shine. I take a small bite, and the juiciness of it takes me by surprise. It's sweet, crisp flavor spreads across my tongue. You'd think, that out in the middle of the Scorch, the food would be dry and bland. Not juicy and flavorful.

" So Lo. " Frypan asks. " What exactly happened to you? "

" It's a long story. " I say, trying to dismiss the subject. But they press on, curious as to how I vanished into thin air.

" It seems as though we have the time. " Winston says.

I take a deep breath, and launch myself into the memory of the day I disappeared.

" I remember everything going black. Then I felt someone put a cloth to my mouth and nose. I screamed, but no one could hear me. I blacked out, and woke up with my foot healed and inside WICKED headquarters. " I make it short and sweet. To the point. They don't have to know everything else.

" What about your memories? "

" I have some of them back. "

" What the hell happened to make them torture you? " Minho asks, picking at his food from the end of the table. I take a bite of my apple before answering.

" I was trying to help you guys. " I say with a shrug. " I knew WICKED wasn't safe. "

The Familiars' jaws go slack at my revelation. It's quite disgusting. They all had food in their mouths.

" That's enough chatter! If you would follow me. " Janson says, popping into the room. Everyone stands, and Newt picks me up. Janson leads us through a small hallway. It's the same white and gray color as WICKED. Are they even _trying_ to trick us? They could be at least more convincing.

Doors begin to line the hall, and Janson comes to a stop. The doors are glass like they were in WICKED. No doubt the Familiars are getting their suspicions. I would've questioned them when they shot my family. Not only that, but Janson just looks evil all the time. You can't trust him.

" Here are your rooms. Food will always be on the table in the main room, so if you're ever hungry just go there. " Janson smiles.

" Where's Teresa? " Thomas asks, and I think of their relationship before the Maze. Have the rekindled that old flame?

" You will see each other for breakfast tomorrow. " Janson looks right at me, a smirk playing at his lips. " She needs to go to the doctor. "

" Let's go then. " Newt says, clutching me closer to his chest. Janson lets out a small a small laugh.

" I trust the rest of you can get situated. " Janson walks past us, and back toward the main room. " Newt, Louisa. Follow me. "

I know Newt never told him his name. If WICKED is trying to make them think they are safe, then they really are doing a horrible job.

Newt follows Janson, and I curse myself for my uselessness. Last time I was with the Familiars, I had problems walking. This time, I can't even take a single step. I don't even know why I can't move my legs. Is it really because of lack of nutrition? Because I've been through that before and it feels nothing like this.

" Are you okay Lo? " Newt whispers in my ear. I nod my head yes, and lean it against his shoulder as Janson opens a door. My eyelids suddenly feel too heavy, my limbs too weak. My stomach lurches, and my head pounds. I can hear Newt's voice talking to me, asking if I'm okay, but it sounds too loud. I groan, clutching my ears with my hands and squeezing my eyes shut.

I loose grip on reality as I fade into another memory.

….

 _WICKED headquarters rests behind me. I trudge through the sand, tears running down my face. My whole life is falling apart around me. WICKED is a lie. The effort I thought I was helping is pointless. There is no cure. I've done the math. I may not be a scientist, but I was trained to be smart in every aspect._

 _The Flare is unstoppable._

 _Civilizations shall fall to it, one by one, until the world becomes an apocalyptic wasteland. Humans are doomed. Immunes are simply genetic mutations. Who knows? Maybe the Flare lays dormant in us all, just waiting for that one thing that ticks it off._

" _Louisa! " My brother shouts, from the doors of WICKED._

 _I ignore him, and climb to the top of the sand dune. My breath catches when I see what lays past it. A ruined city, yet it's bustling with people. I narrow my eyes at the people. They seem to stagger around with no sense of direction. And their skin! It's tinged pink, like they are all sunburned._

" _Louisa. " 15 year old Noah huffs, now beside me. He pays no attention to the community of Cranks that live not a mile from WICKED. We could easily be over taken by them._

" _You can't just run off like that. " He grabs my shoulders, making me turn and face him, but my eyes stay glued on the civilization. Wouldn't the best thing be to put them out of their misery? One day they'll all be past the Gone, completely thoughtless and rotting._

" _Louisa! " He shakes my shoulders in an attempt to get my attention. I let my eyes slowly drift over to his. A glare coming off of his glasses from the bright sun makes my eyes hurt._

" _We're all going to die. " I mumble. His eyes widen, but he simply grips my shoulders harder._

" _Humanity hasn't fallen yet. As long as we're still alive, we're going to fight. " Noah says, and I shake my head, mumbling again about how the world is ending. " Look, I know I'm a pretty shit brother, but as long as I'm alive, I'll make sure there's a cure. I'll make sure Newt and every other none immune gets it. "_

 _He pulls me into a hug, and my tears start to dry._

 _" We will survive. " He mumbles into my hair._

 _..._

I wake up and burst into a fit of sobs. I'm aware of the soft bed I'm laying on, and the antiseptic smell of the white room, but none of it matters. All that matters is what I just remembered.

 _" as long as I'm alive... "_

He's not. My brother is dead. He may have locked me up and kept me from seeing the Familiars, but I know it was for the cure. He was trying to save everybody. He was trying to save Newt.

I had made the resolve to get my mom and my brother out, but I'm too late. I'm always too late. WICKED killed them. They were the two people I thought were safe for the moment, but no. No one is safe from WICKED's wrath. I should've assumed that. If I had, maybe they would be alive. If only I had done something, anything!

My whole body is shaking. I, I lost my family. There's an actual pain in my chest that throbs with each constricted breath. One touch, and the precariously built tower will fall and crumble to the ground.

" It'll be okay Lo. " Newt says, reaching a hand out and pushing my greasy hair away from my face. I look at him, my eyes watering, lip trembling. I expect to see pity in his chocolatey brown eyes, yet I see none. All I see is sorrow, like he feels my pain. I think about Alby, and how close they were. Newt lost his friends. I lost my family. I can't shut him out. I need him to get through this. He can be the one that pulls me through the saddness and depression and back into a world of light.

" They, " I try to say, but the tightness of my throat makes the words come out like useless garble. I make an effort to compose myself, and try again. " They're dead. " My voice breaks.

" We can get through this Louisa. I'm here for you. " He grabs my hand, and gives it a reassuring squeeze, but it doesn't stop the downpour of grief from attempting to drown me.

I glance around at the room I'm in, fully noticing that I'm in a hospital. There's a machine hooked to me, measuring my steady heartbeat. A tube is hooked in my arm, putting some type of clear liquid into my body. Newt sits on my right, grasping my hand in his.

" Do you know why I can't stand? " I ask just as the door opens. Janson comes strolling in, a smile plastered on his ugly face. Funny, when he smiles, his nose looks even more crooked.

" I see you're awake. " he says while sitting in a chair. I prepare myself for whatever conversation we're about to have. Anything could have a double meaning. " You were poisoned. By WICKED. "

Poison. That would explain why the knives burned like fire when they touched my skin. No ordinary blade inflicts so much pain.

" It was a paralyzing poison, designed to keep you in place. "

My heart speeds up, and the beeping on the monitor becomes more frequent. Ratman seems to pick up on the scared gesture, and attempts to reassure me.

" Don't worry. It will be out of your system in a couple of days. "

A sigh of relief escapes me. I'm not permanently paralyzed. Some of the tension in Newt's shoulders seems to dissipate.

" Until then, you will remain here. " Janson says, crossing his hands into his lap. " You should preserve your energy. Don't waste it on silly thoughts. "

He doesn't want me plotting an escape. Too bad. I'm already doing it.

" Can I stay here? " Newt asks, and Janson's eyes dart between the two of us.

" There is only one bed. "

This time, I reply with a steady voice.

" That won't be a problem. " I grin weakly, and Janson simply rolls his eyes.

" Very well. If you need anything press that button. " He points to a button that I can't reach unless I get up and walk. It's practically useless to me.

Janson stands and leaves, shutting the door behind him.

I look back at Newt to see him staring at me. His eyes pour into mine; it's as if he's trying to show me something. Questions linger in his eyes, but they never pass his lips. His hand moves to rest on my cheek, and I lean into the warmth of it. He starts to move closer, slowly as if I would flinch away. We're so close, sharing the same breath. I can see every detail in his eyes. They aren't a solid brown like I previously thought. Flecks of gold surround his pupil, almost not visible. Then his eyes close and he kisses me.

Electricity. Sparks. Fireworks. Those are the only words that can describe this. The world around us melts away, and I can think of nothing but him. The way his lips move against mine, making me feel like everything can be ok. But he pulls away too soon for my liking.

Newt's eyes slowly open, as if he's trying to hold on to a piece of bliss. They lock onto mine and the emotion behind them takes me by surprise.

" I'm in love with you Louisa. " He says, and it sends my heart soaring. A smile so wide spreads across my face I fear my cheeks will cramp up. He's said it before, but never like _that._

" I love you too. " I say, and a smile stretches across his own face.

And then he kisses me again.

* * *

 **GUYSSS LEWT! XD So, how did I do? I hope I did this right.**

 **NorangeKat722 ~ I saw that winky face. ;)**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ Don't die pls**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ It's crucial to the plot. Also... LEWT**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ I hope you get whatever you were writing back.**

 **LostInMiddleEarth ~ I'm glad my writing keeps improving. Maybe one day I'll get a decent story up here.**

 **Thank you all for your reviews!**

 **I hope you have a good day, night, evening, morning, I'm going to go eat something.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm back! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

I wake up feeling more rested than I have in weeks. The room is lit with natural light, and I realize that the whole left side of the wall is a huge window. I can see it out of the corner of my eye. The Scorch is on clear display—miles of nothing but sand and wind. Just looking out there makes my stomach drop in fear. There's no way to have a sense of direction. If we end up out there, we would get lost. We'd become wandering, burnt monkeys.

Newt shifts, and brings me closer to his chest. It amazes me how well our bodies fit together, like two pieces to a puzzle. I let my eyes drift shut, ready to sleep the rest of the day away when the door to the room opens, and I hear several sets of footsteps make their way in. Newt doesn't even stir at the sound. I look over his shoulder to see every single one of the Familiars standing in my hospital room.

" Hey guys… " I say, my voice still laced with sleep. Newt shifts again, and his hand rests on my hip. His other one is wrapped around me, and he tightens his hold.

" Shhh Lo. I'm trying to sleep. " Newt mumbles.

I shove his shoulder, but he just groans and buries his face in my hair. I do it again, but he doesn't even budge.

" Newt wake the hell up! " I say, sitting up, causing his head to fall on the pillow. He cracks one of his eyes open, and glares at me. I offer a lazy smile, and he let's me go.

" Good morning to you too. " Newt smiles anyway, and sits up. I stretch, finding that I can wiggle my toes. The simple movement causes another small smile to spread across my face. I should be up and moving soon.

" We decided to eat breakfast in here with you. " Frypan says, and the door opens again to have people bringing food in. Breakfast pizza catches my eye, and my stomach growls for the first time in a day.

" Why? " I ask, not taking my eyes of the trays of food being brought in here. A table enters next, and I'm surprised by how far WICKED is going to make us happy.

" Well. Whether you like it or not, we are your family. "

 _Family._

And just like that, my mood comes crashing down. But I keep my face a stone wall, hiding my depression so they can be happy. Not much has changed from the Glade. I'm still hiding behind a mask.

" We wanted to know if you were ok so we decided to eat with you. "

The people who brought the food in leave, and Teresa walks in when they are gone. One glance at her and guilt gnaws at my stomach. There's a very good possibility that Lee could be dead. He died with a broken heart. I promised her that I wouldn't break it. I promised her. But she's lost her brother and she doesn't even know.

" I reckon we should introduce you to the two Greenies. " Newt says, standing up. He stretches his back out and limps over to Teresa.

" You don't have to. " I say, " I already know them. "

I maintain eye contact with Teresa, trying to put my apology into my eyes. Then I remember she doesn't even know, and my gaze shifts to Thomas. Slight recognition flickers in his face, but it's so brief I question whether or not it was actually there.

Newt walks over and grabs a slice of the breakfast pizza, and hands it to me. I take it and mumble a small thanks. It's smell drifts up my nose, making my mouth water. _Bacon, eggs, cheese, green peppers._ I take a huge bite as Newt sits next to me on the bed with his own slice.

" What? " Winston questions, " What do you remember? "

My mind goes back to the dream I had of my dad. He had asked me to get Noah and mom out of WICKED. It was my dad's wish, the one thing I should've been able to do. I didn't even try to get them out. I thought I had time. I failed my dad. Now my family is dead because of me. Because I didn't try hard enough.

Newt notices the look on my face, and answer for me. " Let's spare her the questions guys. There are probably things she's trying to forget. "

I wish I could forget it all. This hollow feeling is worse than ever. This aching loneliness. Let me forget about it. Let me forget I was raped and tortured. Let me forget I killed two people. Let me forget I hurt one of my friends. Let me forget my family is dead. Let me become a new person.

" Yea right. " Winston says. " She was safe and protected in WICKED. "

Rage flares in Newt's eyes, and the Familiars quietly munch on their food, staying out of it. He opens his mouth to talk, but I put my hand on his arm. His head turns, and he looks at me, his face softening a little bit. I slightly shake my head, and Newt turns back and faces Winston. Shoving food in his mouth to keep from going off on him.

But that doesn't stop Minho.

" What are you talking about? " Minho raises his voice, glaring at Winston. " You don't even know what she went through. "

" No one does! " Winston shouts. " She won't fucking talk about it. "

I grind my teeth in frustration. Do they really need to know everything?

" Enough! " I yell. Everybody's heads snap towards me. Winston opens up his mouth to speak, but I cut him off, softening my voice. " If I want to tell you, then I will. But until then, don't assume _anything._ "

For a second, Winston looks genuinely frightened, as if I threatened him. But then he stands, and slams his hands down on the table.

" How can you expect us to not assume things? " Winston growls. " We watched our friends die while you sat all nice and comfortable in WICKED. "

I sit there, unable to think of anything to say to that. I really did live with WICKED while they suffered. I can't deny that.

" You can't say anything to that, can you? That's because it's the truth. You were too busy being WICKED's little bitch to help us. "

Sunlight comes in through the window, shining on his face. It makes the hatred in his hazel eyes all to noticeable. If he hates me, then it's possible for someone else to, right?

" What did you just call her? " Newt asks quietly, but his menacing tone is obvious. Winston seems to shrink under his cold stare.

" I-I didn't- "

" Pay attention shuck face, " Newt says in a voice so full of rage and ice it almost scares me. " If you ever disrespect my girlfriend again, I'll rip your bloody tongue out. "

Winston's jaw ticks as he turns and walks out of the room. Everyone is staring at Newt—he's never been like that in front of them before. He was like that for _me._ It reminds me of when he was willing to kill Reed to spare me the trouble and the guilt. He's protective over me. The thought makes warmth spread through out my body.

Not only that, Newt called me his girlfriend. I feel like laughing.

" Harsh. " Frypan says, but a smile is plastered on his face. He turns and looks at me, eyeing my wrinkly clothing and messy hair. " I see Newt wasted no time. "

" Wasted no time doing what? " I ask, a smile still pinned on my face from what Newt did.

" Getting laid. " Frypan says and if I were eating I would've choked.

I feel my cheeks heat up and I say, " Geez Fry! You're starting to sound like Lee. "

As soon as Lee's name escapes my mouth, I regret it. Teresa seems to recognize the name, and her eyebrows draw together in confusion. Newt cast a look in my direction, his eyes almost asking the question ' _Who is that? '_ . I shake my head. That's a conversation I don't want to have.

" He worked for WICKED, right? " Minho asks, a smirk gracing his features. He leans forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees. That can only mean trouble.

I nod. Minho's eyes gleam with mischief, and I glare at him. If he utters one word about my relationship with Lee, I will tell everyone that he knew I was alive. If he's going to wreck my life, I'm going to wreck his.

" What exactly did he do at WICKED? " The Familiars eyes flicker in between us, quietly listening to the conversation. They're dying to know more about WICKED; they aren't going to stop Minho from yapping anytime soon.

" He monitored the Beetleblades. " I keep my answer short and sweet. The less Newt knows, the better. He doesn't need to know that I was with someone else, no matter how brief it was.

" You watched us through the Beetleblades too, right? But you weren't allowed back there. "

How in the hell does he know that?

" What are you getting at Minho? " I grind out in frustration. What is he trying to do? The little prick is about to get his teeth knocked down his throat.

" How did you get back there? " He asks, and everybody seems to be putting the pieces together. I still want to know how he knows I wasn't allowed in the monitoring room. " Is poor Lee a victim of your manipulation, like so many others? "

" I did what I had to. I needed to make sure you idiots were alright. " I growl. I glance over at Newt as a plea for help, but he's too interested in the conversation to stop it

" So you're confessing? " Minho asks while leaning back in his chair.

" Get the hell out of my room you insufferable asshat. " I hiss at him. He has no right to do that. " Or should I mention the little run-in we had? "

There. Now we're both in deep shit.

Newt seems to have had enough because he says, " Everybody out! " He narrows his eyes at Minho. " Except for you. "

A bit of fear passes through Minho's eyes, and he can hardly sit still as everyone evacuates the room. I watch, still in a sour mood, as every sends us curious glances. No doubt they want to know what just happened. I'm too scared about Newt's reaction to Lee to care right now. Will he hate me? Will he spit at me, and call me a whore?

I'm pretty sure I'd break if he said that.

The door slides shut as the last of Famliars leave the room. Newt walks to the middle of the room, standing an equal distance away from Minho and me. I run a hand through my hair, feeling disgusted by its greasiness. I realize how much I stink, considering I haven't taken a shower in days. I probably still have blood on my face from when I was electrocuted.

" Explain what the hell just happened. " Newt says, glaring at the both of us. The atmosphere is tense, like one wrong word could mess everything up. If I could walk, I would strut right out of this room and leave them to talk. I look at Minho, since he was the one that started it. He should be the one to explain.

He sighs. " I want the Gladers to know exactly what happened while she was at WICKED. " Minho says, but I can tell it's a lie. Every time he lies, he feels the need to fidget with his hands. It's something I picked up on one day while we were talking.

" Why? " Newt asks as he crosses his arms over his chest.

" The Gladers should be able to choose if they trust her. " Minho shrugs.

Newt turns to me, and I feel my palms start to sweat. He's going to ask me about Lee, isn't he? I'm going to destroy a relationship I just fixed. And it's all because of Minho.

" What did you mean by ' should I mention the little run-in we had ' because I'd damn sure well like to know. "

Minho's face is begging me not to tell Newt. Apparently, he can deal punches, but can't take them. I look into his brown eyes and smirk.

" Which one? "

Newt's eyes widen, and he turns his attention towards Minho.

" How long have you known she's alive? " He asks quietly, the fear instilling tone back in his voice. Minho sends one last glare at me before replying.

" The day after Ben's banishment. " Minho lowers his head, his voice coming out quiet.

" And you didn't think that was important? " Newt shouts. I feel a twinge of guilt, knowing that I caused this, but it quickly disappears as Newt turns to me.

" I'm sick of being lied to. Sick of people not telling me what the bloody hell is going on. " The fire in his eyes could cause oceans to evaporate. " Is there anything else I don't know? "

My mind goes to Nandini, the last of his family. If I don't tell him now, he'll be pissed. But I can't. He'll look for her, then he would get the Flare. I can't let him do that.

" Tell him about Lee. " Minho says, pissed off at me. I give him the finger, and Newt simply narrows his eyes at me.

" Lee was someone I used to monitor you guys. " I say, not seeing the point in lying anymore.

" Used how? " Newt almost whispers. I feel my stomach drop, and I don't want to tell him. But I do anyway, because I don't want to lie to him.

" I pretended to love him. "

Newt grinds his teeth together, disbelief and rage coloring his face. He opens his mouth to talk, and I prepare myself for the onslaught of insults, but they never come. Instead he does something far worse. He closes his mouth, turns on his heel, and walks out of the room.

As soon as the door shuts, I send Minho my harshest glare. Everything was going just fine. For once in my damned life I was content. But now, he caused Newt and I to have a fight. Newt probably thinks I'm a manipulative bitch. He might regret loving me.

" I don't know if I've said this before, " I tell him in my softest voice, " but I fucking hate you. "

Deep down, I know that's not true. The truth is, Minho is... Well, Minho. But that's the problem. He can look at me the wrong way and I want to choke him. But then he goes and does something nice, or he touches me, or he simply says something, and it's like butterflies are released in my stomach. And it pisses me off. Because he's an asshole. Arrogant and narcissistic.

Minho lets out a small laugh as he stands. " I hate you too. "

Then, it's as if my breakfast is trying to make its way up. The familiar dizziness covers me like a blanket, and I fall back, letting my head hit the pillow. My head starts to pound, like someone is trying to drill their way out. My vision blurs, and my ears ring, but I'm pretty sure I see Minho towering over me, shouting my name. A concerned look is on his face. Another face comes into view, but I don't have time to see who it is as I'm pushed off a cliff and into another memory.

...

 _" God Minho. Your such a-" I say, looking at his room. A table rests in the middle of it, a lone candle resting on top of that. My favorite food, spaghetti, is on the plates._

" _Romantic boyfriend? "_

 _" No. " I say, lightly shoving him. " A cheese ball. "_

 _He lets out a laugh as we walk into the room. I feel his laugh in my bones, and it sounds like music. Minho pulls out my chair for me, and I sit down. He sits down across from me, the candlelight making his eyes shine. Only then do I realize how intimate this is. Two people eating dinner with nothing but a single candle lighting the room._

 _We eat in silence, not wanting to ruin the serene mood. This feels right. Here, with him. I've never thought about someone like this. I've never felt like this with someone. This is a feeling everyone should be able to feel. Love._

 _" I leave tomorrow. " Minho says, completely ruining whatever happy feeling I was having. I wanted to avoid this subject for as long as possible, but he seems keen on talking about it._

 _" Yea. " I say quietly, twirling my fork in my spaghetti._

 _" I won't remember you. "_

 _" Geez. Are you trying to ruin this dinner? " I ask with a soft laugh. He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes_.

 _" I just wanted to say that I love you. No matter what. Even if I forget, I will always have this place in my heart for you. Because you are the first girl that I have ever loved. " Minho says, and I feel my throat tighten up. It's not fair. He shouldn't have to go into the Maze. There are other subjects._

 _" I love you too. " I say, and I know that this is goodbye. This dinner he planned, was all in an effort to make our last night perfect._

 _He leans across the table, and he kisses me._ _It's the same feeling I get every time, but it never fails to surprise me. His kisses affect me the way nothing else does. If I weren't sitting down, I would be clinging on to him because my knees would be too weak to stand._

 _When Minho pulls away, I see a tear roll down his face. I reach out and wipe it away, not wanting to see him cry. Minho grabs my hand, and holds it to his face. He squeezes his eyes shut, as if he's trying to sear the feeling of my touch into his brain._

 _" I don't want to forget. " He mumbles._

 _" I'm going in soon. I'll be there with you. " I try to make him feel better._

 _Minho opens his eyes, and I make an effort to memorize their color. I won't see him for two years._

 _" But nothing will be the same. "_

… _._

The memory fades away, but I don't open my eyes. I want to remember what it was like before the Maze. Before all of our relationships went down the drain. I had loved Minho, just as much as I love Newt now. But things change. I'm starting to think that love isn't worth it. It's not worth the pain and the doubt and the fear.

" Is she going to be alright? " Newt's voice resonates throughout the room. I can hear his footsteps, and I can tell he's pacing.

" I don't know dude! For all I know she could never wake up. " Minho replies, fear making his voice shake. It sounds like he's right by my side.

I should open my eyes and let them know that I'm okay. They sound so worried and stressed. I could ease their minds. But then another conversation about my past will happen, and I don't want that. I don't want to talk about the past. The past doesn't matter anymore. I've got to figure out what Janson is planning, and what our next move is. I have to get everyone to safety. But I can't go into the Scorch because of Newt.

I curl into a small ball. I can feel their eyes on me, hoping I'll wake up. But I don't. I keep my eyes shut, feigning sleep.

" I just got her back. I can't lose her again. " Newt's voice breaks and his pacing stops.

I can't let Newt suffer.

I groan and roll over, letting my eyes flutter open. Newt rushes to my side and grabs my hand. His blond hair is messy, probably from running his hand through it too many times. A smile spreads across his face as he uses his free hand to push my hair back.

" I'm sorry for making you worry. " I say, " I forgot to mention that I have memory dreams. I never know when they're going to happen, but they're painful. I pass out for a little while. "

Minho scoffs, any trace of worry erased from his face. " A little while? It's been a day, Lo. "

" What? " I ask, and then I try to move my legs. If Minho is right, then I should be able to use them. I'm surprised to find I can bring my knee to my chest. My legs are still weak, but at least I can move them. " That's impossible. The memory only lasted ten minutes or so. "

Newt opens his mouth to speak, but Thomas bursts into the room, a frantic look on his face. He's gasping for breath, and he tries to say something but it comes out in a huff. He bends over and places his hands on his knees, taking huge gulps of air.

" What's wrong? " Newt asks.

Thomas tries to speak, but no one knows what he's saying.

" Spit it out shuck face! " Minho says, and then Thomas straightens himself out enough to get a sentence out.

" We…can't…get..into…. the girls' room. "

* * *

 **How did I do? I hope that Louisa's feelings aren't too hard to follow. This was the longest chapter in the story so far. Next chapter, I hope for some** **fluffiness. Adorable fluff.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ I can't answer that, buuuttttt ;)**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ Minho is acting weird. Don't worry, Minhlo moments are still here.**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ Thank you. Stay fabulous XD**

 **Martine9295 ~ it's okay if you can't review, I'm just glad you're reading it. Also, more sweet moments next chapter, I promise. :)**

 **Coco112299 ~ Glad you liked it enough to stick with it. You are somewhat right, I'm just not going to say which. We shall find out in a few months.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **I hope I can update at least twice a week. Probably on Mondays and Fridays because I'm also working on some other stuff, as in other fan fictions. They aren't up, but I'm going to write them in my free time. Remember, AU Adventure Time fan fiction is being posted in two months.**

 **MY BIRTHDAY IS IN TWO WEEKS I JUST REALIZED THAT. I'm going to update this story on my birthday, or I could post a one-shot of Lewt hehehehehe. Vote which one you want, an extra chapter on here, or a one-shot of Lewt. If you choose the one-shot, I'll refine it in the next chapter. Like what to put in the one-shot.**

 **I'm going to go do something else now, bye!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I made this one extra long because I updated late. Enjoy this 6000 word chapter! :)**

* * *

" What do you mean, Thomas? " I ask, panic flaring in my chest. Has Janson already decided to screw us over? Are the trials starting back so soon? I don't want to believe it.

" Janson is no where to be found too. " Thomas says, his shoulders tense. Newt and Minho's eyes go wide with fear. A rage boils within me as my mind races. Why would they move us to a different facility just to leave us here? It doesn't make sense. I've never known WICKED to slaughter their own people and then abandon their subjects.

" That asshole! " I growl while sitting up. If we can't get into the girls' room, then where are they? Are they trapped in there like they were in the Maze? Is Teresa okay? Is Sonya okay? What about that girl Noah liked, is she okay? I try to stand, but Newt pushes me back down.

" You aren't going anywhere. " He narrows his eyes at me. His protectiveness was cute and whatever earlier, but now it's just annoying.

" Teresa is my best friend. " I say, pushing him away. I sit up then stand, legs wobbly. But Newt picks me up and puts me back on the bed.

" I don't care if she was your best friend. You aren't strong enough. " Newt says, then he looks at Thomas. " We need to find Janson. He can help us. "

A surge of annoyance and anger flushes through me. Janson is not some angel! For heavens sake he was the one that let me be tortured. He probably instigated it. We can't trust him. No matter what he promises, or what he says.

" Janson won't help you. " I say, a stern look on my face. Newt shakes his head.

" Now is not the time for you to be having bloody trust issues! "

" Fine then. Go trust someone from WICKED to save your asses. " I cross my arms over my chest, and stand again. This time Newt simply looks at me with disbelief coloring his face as I walk past him.

" What do you mean? "

" I mean, that this is all a trap. An effort to get better brainwaves or whatever. " I say, stopping in front of Thomas. " You obviously don't trust them, " I tell him, " Will you help me save the Fam-, I mean Gladers? "

Thomas' light brown eyes flicker from me to Newt. I can see the resolve in them, but he seems hesitant to go against Newt. I know his conscience is telling him to leave this place. Run out into the Scorch and test our chances there. So when his gaze finds mine, the determination in his eyes doesn't surprise me. Even with his memories gone, Thomas hasn't changed one bit.

" I'll help you. " Thomas says, then he looks at Newt and Minho. " I'll help them. "

" Good. Because we need to figure out what we're going to do next. " I say, pushing past him and out the door. I look over my shoulder, a signal for him to follow me. His feet follow my path, and I head for the other side of this facility. That's where the girls are kept.

As I walk into the main room, I notice a few things. First off, the food is nearly gone. The metabolism of twenty teenagers has ravaged the pile. Secondly, the guards are missing. Any person that works for WICKED is gone. It's as if they've evacuated the place.

I shake my head and walk down the nearest hall. I remember seeing the girls being lead this way.

" Thomas, " I say looking over my shoulder. " What exactly hap- "

Pain blossoms in my head as I run into a wall.

" Ow, what the hell? " I mumble while rubbing my head and stumbling back a couple steps. I look at the wall that seals the hallway off. It's made of brick, and it's as sturdy as any other wall. The fact that it's brick throws me off. Every other wall here is made of wood or steel that's been painted over, but this one is different.

" It's been there since this morning. " Thomas says with a light laugh, then his mood seems to darken. " I noticed the girls weren't at breakfast. So I went to check on Teresa and I couldn't get by. "

I push on the wall as hard as I can. It doesn't budge. How did they get this up without anyone noticing? Why would they even do that? This could be a distraction—something to draw our attention away from the obvious. We can't dwell on it.

" There's nothing we can do for now. " I say. Thomas opens his mouth to protest, but I hold my hand up. " It could be a distraction. "

" A distraction from what? "

" I don't know. Is anything else off? "

" Not that I know of. " Thomas says, then he seems to study my face, his eyebrows drawn together. " Do I know you? "

" Yea. " I reply, and his eyes widen.

" But, you were in the Maze. You shouldn't have your memories. "

" I wish I didn't have them. " I shake my head, thinking about how complicated everything is. If I didn't have my memories, everything would be easier. I don't want to remember that I helped WICKED by killing my friends. And now, everything I did has led up to this.

We can't stay here. We have to leave, but… Newt. I don't want him near Cranks. Is it selfish to prefer one person's life over the lives of your friends? Am I a bad person for needing him here? I won't forgive myself if he gets the Flare. I already failed to protect my family; I can't fail to protect him.

All we can do is stay here and wait. Wait to see what happens. Knowing WICKED, they have an intricate plan to get the best brainwaves from us. Escaping isn't possible. We're stuck in their grasp. There is no one to save a bunch of kids like us. Who would risk their lives for someone they don't even know?

" Louisa? " Thomas asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. His expression is one of curiosity. I'm pretty sure his face is permanently frozen like that. He's always wanting to know more. " Newt told me that you died in the Maze. "

I remember that conversation. That night I had started the relationship with Lee to check on them. It was also the day I found out Newt wasn't immune. I nod, not knowing what to say.

" When I asked people about you they got angry. "

I laugh. " Of course they did. "

" What did you do to piss them off so much? " Thomas ask, and I cast a sideways glance at him. Telling him they're mad at me because I killed one of their friends would mess up his image of me. For once I would like to have someone not think I'm a cold-blooded murderer.

" That's a story for another time. " I sigh.

" What was it like at WICKED? " Thomas presses.

" Boring. " I say, as we start walking back to the main room. " There was hardly anything to do. "

" But, you were _inside_ of WICKED. Surely you found something out. "

Did I really learn anything? I know that WICKED is evil. I know they're studying brainwaves for a cure. But does Thomas know that? What is the extent of his knowledge? Does he know how they tortured Cranks to study them, or how they will kill your closest family members for brainwaves?

" They're bastards. "

He smiles as we enter the main room. The lights seem to have dimmed, and the table in the middle of the room is empty. The Familiars emerge from their rooms, probably looking for food. When the food proves nonexistent, murmurs surge through them. I can hear the panic edging their voices, curiosity and dismay lingers in their eyes. I can't help but let their panic seep into me until my own heart thuds with fear. There's no food. I know for a fact that WICKED isn't just going to march in here carrying a cake to celebrate our survival. No, they're going to make us suffer.

I creep further into the room, and I can feel everyone's accusing eyes on me. They're waiting for me to say something, do something, since I was close to WICKED. They're probably waiting for me to say that this was all a sick joke, and that they never escaped. That I was being the manipulative person they think I am. Hell, they might even think this was all my fault.

" What are we going to do? " Winston asks, his eyes narrowing at me after he glances at Newt.

" There's nothing we can do. " Thomas says, repeating what I said earlier. " It could be a distraction. "

" A distraction from what? " Frypan asks, " Why can't we just leave? "

I scoff. " And face the Scorch and Cranks? I would much rather take my chances here. "

Thomas looks at me, as if he's considering what Frypan said. He starts to say something, but Newt speaks first.

" We need to explore the building. We can't do anything until we know the layout. " Newt says while sitting down in a chair. He runs his hand through his hair, a nervous habit he's picked up.

" I say we split up into groups of two. " Thomas says and I can see the wheels in his brain turning. I look around the room. There's seven of us: Newt, Minho, Thomas, Frypan, Winston, Clint and me. There would have to be a group of three, or someone could just explore by themselves. I would gladly explore by myself. I was alone with Thomas for a couple of minutes and it was like I was being interrogated. The loneliness and privacy is welcome at the moment.

I see someone move out of the corner of my eye. I don't recognize the figure, and next thing I know he's pinned against the wall by Minho.

" Who the shuck are you? " Minho raises his voice while gripping the boy's collar.

" Who am I? " The boy responded, " Who are _you? "_

Newt is standing now, moving towards Minho and the boy with a stern face.

" Don't play any bloody games. Tell us who you are. " Newt says as he comes to a stop next to Minho. The boy is wearing pajamas, despite the fact that it's the middle of the day. His hair is blond, a lighter color than Newt's. He crosses his arms over his chest as a defiance overtakes his features.

" My name's Aris. Anything else you want to know? "

I already want to choke him. I can see Thomas clench his fists, and I know he feels the same.

" Minho, put the kid down. " I say even though Aris looks older than me. His grey eyes move over to me, and Minho slowly loosens his grip on his collar. Newt looks at me, the ' _what the hell are you doing?'_ question stuck on the tip of his tongue. I smile softly as I stride towards them. Surely WICKED left him here for a reason.

I stop right in front of the boy. " Walk with me? " I ask Aris. Newt shifts behind me.

" I don't think that's a good idea. " Newt says, and I feel his presence right behind me.

" She looks more than capable of taking care of herself. " Aris replies, his eyes trailing up and down my body. A cold fear grabs me as I remember the last time someone looked at me like that. That someone ended up raping me and—

" She likes to think she's able to protect herself, but she's not. " Minho says, crossing his arms over his chest. I tear my eyes away from Aris and glare at Minho.

" You'd like to think that wouldn't you? So you can be my knight in shining armor. "

" I don't have time to be anyone's bodyguard. But I would protect you. "

" I don't need you to protect me! " I raise my voice.

" Prove it. " He unfolds his arms, holding them up and backing away. He wants to fight. He wants to test me right now. We have more important things to worry about! But if I say that, it would make me look pathetic.

I charge forward like I did so many times with Brenda. His eyes widen for a second, but he braces himself for the impact. He tries to dodge my attack, but I manage to grab his arm, and pull him down. He slams onto the ground as I try shove my knee into his back. He rolls out of the way, and my knee hits the ground. I feel his hand on my back, pushing me down, but I twist so I'm facing him. I kick him in the chest and he flies backward. I quickly get up, straddle him and put my hands on his shoulders, keeping him in place. He looks up at me, smirking.

" I kind of don't want to get out of this one. " Minho's hands go to my hips, and gives them a light squeeze. My stomach does a flip as I lean down to whisper something in his ear.

But I'm yanked away by Newt. A fury is in his eyes, making me jerk out of his grasp as if I'd been burned. He turns toward Frypan, who seems to shrink away from Newt.

" Take her somewhere while we deal with Aris. "

Newt grabs my arm and pulls me to Frypan. I glare at him.

" I need to talk to Aris. " I say, but Newt shakes his head.

" You're going to get yourself hurt. Go with Frypan. "

" You can't tell me what to do. " I growl.

" I am in charge here. You do as I say. " He stalks forward and looks down at me. I've never seen this fire burn in his eyes like this. Is he that pissed at me? Most people would probably be intimidated, but I stand my ground. Why is Newt being like this?

" I think I know him. " I lie, trying to get Newt to let me stay. His eyes widen a bit, but he doesn't back away.

" I said no. "

I push him away and storm out of the room. I hear Newt mumble a " Stay with her, " and footsteps follow me, but I ignore them. I want to help the Familiars! Aris could know something we don't. He could be someone sent here from WICKED. They will never figure that out without me. I would be able to tell after a conversation. It could take them days. That's time we don't have.

Due to the fact that my legs are still recovering, I have to take a break because of their weariness. I slide my back down the wall and splay my legs out in front of me. Frypan sits on the other side, ( I had forgotten he was following me, ) and looks like he's about to say something but he closes his mouth. I can still feel anger pulsing inside of me like ripples in water. They were so worried about me earlier. When they realized I was fine they both gave me the cold shoulder. Minho picks a fight and Newt manages to protect me and make me feel small and insignificant at the same time. _Assholes._

After a couple of minutes I stand, my legs still a little shaky. Then I walk all the way down the hallway, the light getting brighter the further I go. I come to a door at the end and I push on it. It swings open, revealing a bunch of stainless steel appliances. A enormous fridge is right in front of me. I rush forward and open it to find that it's stocked with fresh vegetables and meat. There's an intake of breath behind me, and I turn to see Frypan staring slack-jawed at everything. It's a kitchen you would find in a restaurant. It's perfect.

" We solved the food problem. " I breathe out, my previous rage diminishing. Frypan opens the cabinet next to the fridge, and finds spices of every kind. I check the freezer and I find _ice cream._ Ice cream! I don't remember ever tasting ice cream.

" We're making a three course meal for everyone. " Frypan's face comes to life. The shadows are chased away and a bright smile takes their place. His smile must be contagious, because I soon find one spreading across my face.

He digs around in a different cabinet, and I hear boxes of pasta being moved around. The _clank_ of glass jars come next, and he starts setting stuff down on a nearby table. I walk over and peek over his shoulder. He turns around and nearly crashes into me, but I move out of his way in time. He opens the fridge and comes out with tomatoes and ground beef. I look back at the seasonings on the table. _Chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, red pepper flakes, oregano, paprika, cumin, salt, pepper and cilantro._ He's making burritos.

Frypan goes back to the cabinet and grabs flour, salt, and vegetable oil. He mixes them together in a bowl, creating a doughy type texture. He rolls them out into circles, puts them on the pan, then puts them in the oven. He glances up at me, then starts cutting tomatoes.

" If you're making burritos, then you should add onion and jalapeño. " I say while walking over to the fridge. I search through the rows of vegetables until I find the onions, then I do the same for the jalapeños. I set them in front of Fry's cutting board, and he nods in thanks.

" Can you start the appetizer? " He asks.

" An appetizer? We're getting fancy. "

" It's just chips and dip. " He says, " The chips are in the other cabinet. "

I walk over and open the cabinet, to find a couple of bags of tortilla chips. I pull them down and set them on the counter.

" What type of dip? " I ask, glancing over at my shoulder to find Frypan cutting onions.

" Seven Layer dip. "

So that has to be refried beans on the bottom, with guacamole on top of that, then two different types of salsa, with sour cream and shredded cheese on the very top. That's not even seven layers. I'm going to change the name to Six Layer Dip.

I grab everything out of the cabinet and place it on the counter. I then walk over to the fridge and get the sour cream and avocados. I grab a couple of bowls then make the guacamole first, stealing some of Frypan's seasonings and tomatoes. I layer it, making sure each layer is even before I add the next. Frypan starts cooking the ground beef in a pan on the stove, but he seems to be marveling at it. The meat is cooking so much faster than it did in the Glade. Normally it would take an hour on low before it started to turn brown. Now, after just five minutes, the pinkness of the meat is already disappearing. He adds the spices and seasonings, filling the air with their delightful smell.

" You have to make dessert. " Fry says, turning to look at me. " Your cupcakes tasted delicious. "

" I thought you would throw them out. " I made those cupcakes before I was put in the Slammer. It was ages ago. I never even finished them.

" Newt put the frosting on them. I was going to throw them out, but he insisted that everyone could use something sweet. "

" I didn't know that. " I mumble,

" It was actually the day you ran into the Maze. " He says, and I remember exactly what happened.

…..

 _I sit on the ground with my feet tucked under me, trembling. Reed's body is in front of me, as lifeless as stone. His head is cocked to one side, an unnatural angle. It's like the muscles in his neck have disappeared. His black hair is in front of his eyes, something I'm grateful for. I don't know what I'd do if I had to look into his eyes. The eyes of an enemy and the eyes of an old friend._

" _Louisa? " Minho asks, but I barely hear him. I'm too consumed by my sorrow, guilt, and panic to notice anything. I'm clutching my head in my hands, a headache blossoming as I dig my fingers into my scalp. I've screwed up. I was so pissed that I killed someone. I had no right to do any of that. Reed was controlled by WICKED. They were making him hurt me. None of it was his fault. He barely even remembered what he did! He died for something that WICKED made him do._

 _A hand on my shoulder causes me to whip my head around. My hands fall into my lap, and I look up at Minho through my tears. His face is one of bewilderment, and his eyes glance over at Reed every once in a while as if he's expecting him to jump up._

" _I killed him. " I say, through my choking sobs," I killed him. What am I going to do? "_

 _He says nothing. He just pulls me into a hug, and I cry into his shirt. My mind is racing, my breathing sporadic, and my heart thuds like a powerful drum in my chest. When my crying doesn't slow, Minho pushes me away and grabs my shoulders._

" _Louisa. Everything will be okay. " He says, his brown eyes pouring into mine. I close my eyes and shake my head no._

" _I screwed up. I'm a killer. A murderer. "_

 _Minho shakes my shoulders, causing me to open my eyes._

" _Never say that. You aren't a killer. You're a good person. You just did what you had to. "_

" _But—"_

" _You are a good person. The nicest she-shank I've ever met. " Minho says and I hug him again. This time it's brief, and I pull away, my mind a little clearer. I have to run. I need a bag of supplies for the Maze. If I go without it, then I'll die. It's not like that would be a bad thing though._

" _I need a bag of supplies. " I say, and Minho simply nods._

" _For what? " He asks._

" _I'm going to run. " I say, my voice breaking. The chances of survival out there are slim. I could lose my life and never see any of these people again. I could never see Minho or Newt again. Or Frypan or Winston. The thought saddens me even more, but death doesn't scare me. Anything could be better than living._

 _I won't kill myself. I promised Newt. I will survive and what for them on the other side. I could have a family there. Those are the people I need to survive for._

" _Meet me in the map room in ten minutes, " He says, his head dropping and a sad tone taking over his voice. I nod, and glance back over at Reed. He looks peaceful in death. Is that what death is? You work so hard in the hell that is life to be rewarded by peace at death. It seems better than I thought._

 _Once I feel like I can stand, I try to. My foot nearly gives out, and the pain makes me grit my teeth. But I manage to walk out of the cell. Nobody notices the girl limping into the Deadheads. I open the door to the map room, to find Minho shoving stuff into a runners pack. His shoulders are tense and his movements are rapid and choppy, like he's angry. I see pieces of paper and pencils sitting on the map of the Maze, and an idea forms in my head. I could leave Newt a note._

 _I grab the two pieces of paper, not knowing how many I'll need. With a shaky hand, I write:_

 _Dear Newt,_

 _I killed him. I killed Reed. There was no way Alby was going to let me stay in the Glade so I stuck to our plan. You know? The plan where I find a way out, and wait for you on the other side. I know you guys can do this. I know I can do this. I'm also sorry I didn't say goodbye. I really wanted to, but the maze walls were closing, and I had to get out of there. Minho had caught me by surprise, showing up at the Slammer. I know what you're thinking to. He could've saved me, but I didn't want him too. I didn't need saving. So, don't hate him._

I have to start a second page.

 _I'm pretty shaken up about taking someone's life away, but I'll manage. I always do. I had considered killing myself, the guilt is like this huge weight on my chest, but I didn't. I remembered my promise. What I want, is for you to remember yours. I'll see you again. So don't hurt yourself. Survive, for me, promise?_

 _Love,_

 _Louisa._

 _My face is wet with tears by the time I finish. The writing seems like it's barely readable, but it has to do. I doubt I could write it any neater with my hands shaking the rest of they are. I fold the note and tap Minho on the shoulder._

" _Could you give this to Newt for me? "_

 _He nods and sticks the note in his pocket. I look up at his face, to find that it seems sorrowful. His eyes look watery as he hands me the bag. When I go to grab the brown material, he doesn't let go._

" _Will you try to survive? " He asks, one of his hands moves to cover mine._

" _Of course. " I say, and I look into his eyes. The emotion there surprises me—anger, sadness, and compassion. He pulls me into a hug one last time, before he starts to walk out of the room._

" _After the walls close, I'll tell everyone you ran. " Minho says as he leaves, " Please live. "_

 _I nod even though his back is to me. He jogs into the woods, and I stand there, hollow and empty._

… _._

" Louisa! " Frypan says, and I shake the memory off. Minho was so nice then. Now he just keeps on being rude to me. Not only that, but when I tried to save him from WICKED, he ran and he called me a slut and a bitch. I miss the Minho from the Maze. It was him I loved.

Wait, what?

" Louisa start the cupcakes. " Frypan says, shoving flour into my hands. I find that the meat has finished cooking, and he's plating the burritos. I grab the ingredients I need: baking powder, salt, sugar, butter, eggs, and vanilla extract. I decide to make the same ones I did back in the Glade, since the recipe is so simple. In a large bowl, I cream the butter and the sugar together before adding two eggs and the vanilla extract. In a smaller bowl, I whisk the flour, baking powder and salt together. I hum all the while.

" I'm going to go give everyone the chips and dip. " Frypan says, grabbing the dip I made and pouring the chips in a bowl.

" Okay. " I say as he leaves.

I gradually add the flour mixture into the other bowl, grabbing a spoon to stir it. Then, I hear the door to the kitchen open again.

" Back so soon? I figured you would eat with them. " I say, but the voice that answers isn't Frypan.

" I'm not hungry. " Newt says, and I turn and look at him. His blond hair is messy, like he's run his hand through it too many times. The bags under his eyes are more prominent than they were earlier, as if leading the Familiars exhausts him. He just looks so utterly tired. Not just from lack of sleep but from everything. I start to ask if he's okay, but then I remember how he made me leave the room, and how he doubted me. My rage returns, and I direct it all at him.

" Then don't eat. " I snap and turn back around to continue mixing my cupcake batter. I hear him walk behind me, and his hand goes onto my elbow. I feign ignorance to the sparks that I feel.

" I'm sorry. " Newt says, putting his head on my shoulder. Some of my anger melts away, but not all of it. " It's just, you're so different from when you were with us. "

" How? " I ask. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still the same as when I left. Just more broken. Newt turns be around to face him, his chocolate brown eyes finding my grey ones.

" You're braver, stronger, faster and more independent. " He says with a small smile. " You've grown up a little bit. "

His words shock me. I am none of those things. I was too scared to go against WICKED, and my family died because of it. I'm still the same weak girl I was in the Maze.

" Why wouldn't you let me stay and question Aris? " I ask the question that's on the tip of my tongue. His smile disappears as he answers.

" I didn't want you to get hurt. "

" I can take care of myself. "

" I know. " He says, putting his hands on my hips.

" Then why are you protecting me so much? "

" Because I'm afraid of losing you. " He grabs my hand and I feel my heart speed up. He's protecting me because he doesn't want to lose me again. He won't lose me. As long as we're alive, we'll be together.

" But, you're carrying too much Louisa. " He says, pushing my hair back behind my ears. " I can see you breaking. "

This conversation is getting heavy. Soon he'll ask what has me so stressed, and I can't tell him it's because I don't know if he's going to survive. I can't tell him it's because he isn't immune. I can't tell him it's because I don't know if his sister survived. So, I let my free hand slide back on the counter, and into the flour. He's so focused on my eyes that he doesn't notice until I put the handful of flour right on top of his head.

His eyes widen and he jaw drops a little bit. I laugh as he staggers back, but it quickly stops as he dips his hand in my cupcake batter and slings it at me. It splatters across my face, and I gasp. I stick my hand back in the flour then throw it at him, and he laughs. He grabs the flour bag in his hand, and throws handfuls at me. I put my hands up, trying to keep it off my face, screaming. I turn my back to him, but that was a bad idea. I hear his footsteps, and then he turns the bag of flour over on my head.

It falls all over my clothes and in my hair. Some of it even goes in my mouth. I can still feel a small pile on my head, so I turn around and face Newt. He's laughing his ass off, clutching his stomach. He's got flour in his hair and all over his clothes.

" Newt! " I whine, " This is never going to come out! "

He takes one look at me and starts laughing again. I can't help but join him. I start walk towards him, my flour-coated arms extended as if to embrace him. If I'm covered in flour, then he has to be covered too.

" No. " Newt says, putting his hands up. I simply grin and start to walk towards him. " No! " He turns and runs, laughing. I follow him, slowing my run so all of the flour doesn't blow off of me. I giggle as I run, having fun for one of the few times in my life.

" Stop! " I yell, laughing. " I just want to share! "

He bursts into the main room, and I follow him. He runs around the Familiars, all of which are sitting at the table, eating the chips. They all look up at Newt and I, and the smiles that occupy our faces. I catch up to Newt, tackling him. We fall onto the ground in a mess of limbs. He manages to turn as he falls, making it to where he's looking up at me. When I land, the impact makes me fall forward but when I sit up, l look down at him.

" Got you. " I smirk, crossing my arms over my chest.

" I should give you your reward. " He whispers, his hand going to the back of my neck. He pulls me down and kisses me. It taste like flour, but beneath that there's the familiar sparks. I feel like I could melt into a puddle at any time.

" Get a room! " Winston raises his voice, and I pull away from Newt, and smile at him. He raises his eyebrow, and I laugh, standing up. I put my hand down, helping him up. He's covered in flour, even more so than me. He looks around at everyone, and they shake their heads, small smiles on their faces.

I stand on my tippy toes, and whisper in Newt's ear, " Follow me. " I grab his hand, and start to walk out of the room. He walks beside me, swinging our arms between us. He's looking at our intertwined hands, a huge smile on his face. I look over my shoulder, and I see Minho staring at us. His face is distant, and I remember what I thought earlier. I had thought I had loved him. I literally thought, " I loved him. " No, what I feel for Minho can't be love. It isn't possible to love two people at one time. I _can't_ love two people at one time.

I look back at Newt, and he smiles at me, and I smile back. _This is love._

Love isn't when some challenges you to a fight in front of everyone. Love isn't when he calls you a bitch. Love isn't when he doesn't trust you. Besides, he said he hated me. There was that one time Minho said he loved me, but he's done nothing to prove it since then.

Love is smiles, and laughing and kisses. It's trust and faith and selflessness. Everything I have with Newt.

But, what if there are two types of love?

* * *

 **BAM! CONFUSION! Pardon any typos please, I was writing most of this on my phone.**

 **Opinions? Did I do good? LEWT? MINHLO?**

 **I hope I'm writing this right. By the way, I don't know Aris' character that well, so sorry if it seems a little OOC.**

 **Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows! Next chapter up soon.**

 **Oh, and the late update. I am trying to get back to practicing softball, so I was resting my wrist, ( yes typing does irritate it. ) I failed miserably, and now I can't play this weekend.**

 **Have a nice day!**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's currently June of 2016, and I have revised this chapter because I hated it so so so so so so much.**

* * *

I lead Newt through the halls, heading to my room. The effects of the flour fight are still obvious—we're both covered in flour and still laughing about it. He trails a little bit behind me, holding my hand. The lights in the hallway are dimmed, and they seem yellow instead of white like they were before. When I turn around and look at Newt, it casts shadows on his face, highlighting his jawline and shadowing his eyes.

When we reach the door to my room, I drop Newt's hand to open it. The lights inside are off, but the stars shine through the enormous window that covers the far wall. Moonlight illuminates the bed, making the white sheets seem like they are glowing. I pull Newt into the room, and shut the door behind him.

I grab both of his hands in mine, and walk to the bed. _This won't be like it was with Lee,_ I tell myself. I want this. I need to be close to him, in all ways possible. When I get to the bed, I turn around and face him. The smile still graces his features, his chocolate brown eyes shining with the light of the moon. I fall backwards, pulling him onto me. He's so close we're sharing the same breath. All I can see are his eyes, and I stare into them, the love and admiration filling me with warmth. We stay like that for a moment before Newt kisses me.

It's rough yet sweet, lustful and tender. But there's this fire that wasn't there before. It's settled deep in my stomach, and it's like I can't get closer to him. The clothes become a barrier keeping me from being with him. I pull his shirt over his head, interrupting the kiss. His eyes lock onto mine and a slow smile spreads across his face. Then his lips attack my neck.

The feeling sends electric waves through me, and I wrap my arms around him, my fingers trailing the bare skin on his back. His shivers under my light touch, and trails his kisses down to my collar bone. I quickly find myself breathless as his hands play with the hem on the bottom of my shirt. He slowly raises it, his fingers brushing my stomach. I arch my back so he can get it up, and he pushes it up, revealing the plain bra underneath. He kisses me again, hungrily. One of his hands is on my hip, while the other is on my ribcage and creeping up.

I switch our positions, straddling his hips. I rest my hands on his chest, and I smile down at him. I take my shirt off, tossing it in a random direction. He's breathing hard, his eyes trailing up and down my torso with a hunger I've never seen on his face. Normally, on other people's faces, it would disgust me. But his sets me on fire.

I feel something hard poke my leg, and Newt's face turns into one of embarrassment. His cheeks tint red, and he looks like he's ready to push me aside and go take a cold shower. But I don't want him to.

" It's okay. " I say, my voice soft.

Newt flips our positions again. He kisses me, but I don't have time to kiss back as he trails them down my neck, past my collar bone, and to the curve of my breasts. I moan softly, my back arching and he almost _growls_ as he kisses my stomach. They trail lower and lower, and his hands pull my yoga pants down an inch. One of his kisses lands on my hip, and a gasp escapes me as an unexpected warmth spreads through my lower stomach.

Then, he stops. Newt moves away, and sits on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. His breath is shaky, and he's shaking his head.

" What's wrong? " I ask, sitting up. Suddenly, I feel self conscious about myself. Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough?

" I don't want our first time to be like this. " He says, turning to look at me, but his eyes find my chest and he has to look away again. " I want it to be special. "

" Okay. " I hear the disappointment in my own voice and I mentally slap myself. Newt's just trying to make it mean more.

" It's not because of you. I promise. I just... I don't want our first time to be in a place like this. " My heart is thudding in my chest.

I sit on the other side of the bed, my back facing him. I'm proud of myself for getting over a fear. I didn't seize up like I did with Lee. Instead, I encouraged it. If Newt hadn't stopped it, we would've went all the way. It's obvious we both want this, but I get where Newt is coming from. A facility in the middle of the Scorch doesn't sound like the best place to have sex for the first time. Maybe after we get through everything.

I pull my hair onto one shoulder and stare at the hands in my lap. I hear Newt shift behind me, then I feel his fingers brush the back of my neck.

" What the hell? " He mumbles. " When did you get a tattoo? "

" What do you mean? " I ask, " I don't have a tattoo. "

" Are you sure? It's right here on your neck. "

" What does it say? " I ask, sure that WICKED has something to do with this. What kind of profanity did they tattoo on my body? Are they telling the Familiars not to trust me? Dread is filling me to the brim, masking any previous emotions or feelings.

" Louisa, Subject A0, The Flame. " He traces the words with his fingers as he speaks. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I don't get it. First of all, Subject A0 is obviously someone that wasn't anticipated. Was I ever apart of the trials? Was it all a mistake? No, I doubt that. But still, _The Flame?_ They could've given me a better title.

I turn around and face Newt so quickly he jumps back in surprise.

" Turn around. " I tell him. He does as I ask, and there it is on the back of his neck. A tattoo with his title, given to him by WICKED. The black words are in all capital letters, making them stand out more. _Newt, Subject A5, The Glue._ " You have one too. Newt, Subject A5, The Glue. "

" Do think everyone has one? " He asks, and I stand and grab my shirt out of the floor.

" Let's find out. " I pull my shirt over my head and he picks his off of the floor. Then he looks up at me in doubt. " What? "

" I'm going to take a cold shower first. You go ahead. " Newt says, his face tinting red again. I shake my head and laugh, walking out of the room, then speeding my walk up to a jog.

The Familiars are doing the exact same thing they were when we left, there's just a body shaped flour mark on the floor. I smile at the memory, then I remember the reason I'm here in the first place. I have to check everyone for a tattoo. Everyone looks up at me, then back down at their food. Frypan holds my gaze, smirking.

" Back so soon? " He asks, but I ignore him as I walk behind Minho's chair. I pull the back of his shirt down, and—

" What are you doing? " He asks, sounding bored. " As much as I would like you to take my clothes off, right now probably isn't the best time. "

 _Minho, Subject A7, The Leader._

I move to the person sitting next to him, which happens to be Thomas I repeat the same thing, but Thomas doesn't say a word.

 _Thomas, Subject A2, To be Killed by Group B_

I suppress a gasp. No, they can't kill Thomas. Teresa would break. I can't lose another friend, even if he doesn't remember me. But who from Group B is going to kill him? When?

The person sitting next to Thomas is Aris, and not caring that I barely know him, I move his hair and look at the tattoo on the back of his neck faster than he can react.

 _Aris, Subject B1, The Partner._

 _Subject B1._

Group B.

I tackle Aris and pin him to the ground.

" Who are you? " I yell. His eyes go wide and he puts his hands up in surrender.

" Aris. " He says, " We've been through this before. "

" Did you come from Group B? " I ask, my voice coming out as a deathly whisper.

" How do you know about them? No one else here has asked. "

" Where are they? "

" I don't know. I wake up one day and I'm stuck with you sticks. "

Sticks? What the hell?

Before I have a chance to ask anymore questions, Minho pulls me off of Aris. Aris scrambles out from under me, a but of fear in his eyes. Good, he's scared of me. Maybe if I'm around he won't try to kill Thomas.

" What the hell Louisa? " Minho asks, keeping his hold tight. I don't try to fight against it, but he keeps me there. I can feel his breath on the back of my neck, and butterflies flitter around in my stomach. I ignore them as I try to pry myself out of his grip. " When did you get a tattoo? "

" We all have one. " I say, ripping myself out of his grasp. " On the back of your necks. "

Everyone gets up in a hurry, asking the closest person to tell them what their tattoo is. Aris is the only one who doesn't move, and I narrow my eyes at him. Newt walks into the room, eyeing the chattering Familiars. He walks up to me, grabbing my arm and pulling me closer to him. All the flour is off of him, and I make a mental note to go take a shower after all of this is finished.

" What did you do? " He asks, but there's no accusation in his voice.

" They all had tattoos. " I say, then jerk my chin towards Aris, " Including him. "

" What did they say? "

" Minho is the Leader, " I say, then I lean closer and whisper the rest, " And Thomas is to be killed by group B. "

Newt turns his head and looks down at me, his eyes wide.

" Impossible. " He mumbles.

" And Aris is from group B. " I add, so Newt knows how big of a threat Aris is. He was probably sent here by WICKED to kill Thomas because he shows too much insurgency. I won't let any of the Familiars die by the hands of WICKED. If Aris is a threat, I'll kill him. It would hurt me, and I would feel guilty, but I would do it to save someone's life. Take one to save one, right?

" We just need to keep an eye on him. Keep him away from Thomas. " Newt crosses his arms over his chest and whispers it to me. I nod, watching the Familiars try to figure out the newest puzzle from WICKED. They're all talking about it, and Aris just sits down and continues eating. No one even thinks to check him.

Frypan checks Thomas, and his face falls.

" Thomas. " He says quietly.

" What? " Thomas replies forcefully, "What does it say? "

" To be killed by Group B. "

It's so silent you can hear a pin drop. Everybody's eyes are on Thomas, and his face is showing nothing but shock. Then, they explode in a storm of questions. Aris lowers his head, acting like he's focused on his food. I narrow my eyes at him, and then I walk over and sit in the chair next to him.

" Would you mind coming with me? " I ask with a sweet smile. He looks over, doubt clouding his eyes. His blonde hair falls into his eyes as he stands. I stand with him, and he follows me down the hall. I listen closely, making sure he's still following me. His footsteps fall lightly; they sound like whispers in the quiet hallway. My legs are getting tired from the walking, and I have to force myself to keep walking. I slow down a bit, but Aris doesn't notice.

I open the door to the kitchen, to find it a mess. There's flour everywhere, and somehow, the cupcake batter got knocked in the floor. I resist the urge to laugh as the image of Newt covered in flour passes through my mind.

" Tell me everything you know about Group B. " I command Aris as I turn around to face him. He leans against the counter and crosses his arms over his chest.

" No. "

I cock my head to one side, " Why? Do you have something to hide? "

" I wouldn't tell you sticks anything. Especially _you._ " Aris narrows his eyes at me, a quiet threat lingering behind them. I reach behind me, my hand closing around the handle of a knife.

" I don't think you realize. You're outnumbered here. " My grip around the knife tightens, and he weighs his options.

" I heard some stories about you. In the Maze. " Aris uncrosses his arms and takes a step closer to me. I try not to let the surprise show on my face.

" How? " I ask, completely baffled. I've never had anything to do with Group B. They shouldn't know about me. _He_ shouldn't know about me. The only logical conclusion here is that he's lying.

" I know how you broke your foot. I know how you killed someone. "

If he came in with Group B then he could've found this out at WICKED right?

" I know how Reed was controlled by WICKED to rape you. "

The knife slips from my hand and clatters on the floor. How does he know? I never saw him at WICKED, and Sonya never said anything about him. Did the Familiars tell him? They didn't know how he was controlled though. Only Newt did and he was with me.

The door to the kitchen opens and Minho charges in. He's in between me and Aris in a split second, and I find myself looking at his back. He looks over his shoulder at me, and a fire lights in his eyes. I can barely comprehend anything. I'm trying to figure out how Aris knows that. The most obvious thing would be that someone at WICKED told him, and now he's trying to get under my skin. I can't let him do that. I have to ignore anything he says.

" What did you do! " Minho yells.

I put my hand on his shoulder. " It's okay. " I mumble, and I walk out of the room. Newt's waiting just outside the door, and I grab his hand to pull him with me.

" Aris knows. " I whisper, " He knows about Reed. "

Reed's name is hard to say out loud; it nearly chokes me.

" How? " Newt asks.

" I think he found out at WICKED and is trying to get under my skin. " _and it worked._

" You can't listen to him. " Newt tells me, and I stop walking.

" I know. " I say, " I'm going to take a shower. Maybe it will help get my thoughts sorted out. "

" It's down the hall and to the left. " Newt says, and I walk away.

I told Newt. I've never just told him something without thinking about it first. It's probably because I'm getting closer to him, and I trust him. Not Minho, but Newt. I would never tell Minho that Aris knows about Reed. Minho would end up punching Aris or doing something like that. Something irrational. Of course, me tackling him earlier was irrational, but shoot first and ask questions later. I was just trying to get information from him. It didn't work because Minho pulled me off, but if he had left us alone Aris would have told me everything.

The shower room is hot, due to the lack of air conditioning in here. It feels more like a sauna instead of a shower, but I ignore it as I lock the door. The white floor tiles feel slick and I have to make an effort to keep from slipping. Falling and breaking my nose isn't on my to do list.

I peel the flour covered clothes off, and step into the shower. I turn the water on warm, not in the mood for an overly hot shower. The water that runs off of me and into the drain is tinted pink, a reminder that I was tortured before I came here. I suddenly wonder how Newt thought I was good enough when I was covered in flour and blood. I probably looked like a crazy lady walking around.

I turn my thoughts away from that and towards what the hell is going on. WICKED has abandoned us in a facility in the middle of the Scorch. The kitchen is stocked with food, so we should be good for a couple of days, but not for long with the teenagers' metabolism. Aris is here with us, someone from Group B. Thomas is in danger, hell, everyone is in danger. We don't know him. But for some odd reason, he knows about me. He knows I broke my foot and how I killed Reed. What else does he know about me? What other information did WICKED tell him? Could they have lied about something to make him hate me? Oh wait, they wouldn't have to lie to make him hate me.

I grab the soap, which turns out to be body wash. It smells like vanilla, and the smell is heavenly. I don't see any wash rags or loofas, so I have to use my hand, but that's not a big deal. I massage the body wash into my skin, the smell drifting up into my nose. When I finish it washes off, and I've never felt so clean. I wash my hair, using the shampoo that rests on a nearby shelf. This smells like coconut, and I wonder why WICKED put such feminine stuff in a facility of boys.

I scrub my long blonde hair, washing the grease, flour, blood and sweat off of my head. I rinse it out, glad to have all of that stink off of me. I turn the water off, and step out, grabbing a towel of the rack. I dry myself off, thinking about what we can do to get out of this situation. We could always run into the Scorch, but then we would be constantly fleeing from WICKED, and that's not a life I want to live. I want to fight. We could always try to battle against WICKED, but we're stuck here. There's nothing we can do. We have to sit here and wait for WICKED to make their move.

The lights flicker as I pull my clothes on. I'm hesitant to do it, because they stink and they're covered in flour and blood. But, they're all I have. I have to wear them unless I want to walk out in front of the Familiars naked. Begrudgingly, I put them on. Their strong smell masks the smell of vanilla and coconut.

Just as I pull my shirt over my head, the lights turn off, immersing me in darkness.

* * *

 **I still don't like this chapter that much. Maybe I'll revise it again sometime in the future. I know I plan on** **rewriting and revising the entire story, but damn, this chapter had to be fixed.**

 **Anyway, have a good day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry about the late update**

* * *

The darkness around me looks more like an abyss and if I take one step I'll fall into nothingness. Of course, I know that it isn't true. The lights simply turned off. I didn't get transported into another place in a matter of seconds. That's physically impossible.

It can be kind of intimidating. It's as if I've shut my eyes. With no way of telling where I'm going, I could very well wander out into the Scorch and get eaten by Cranks. Their teeth would tear into my fle-

Cold, hard fear hits me, sending a shiver down my spine. It's a baseless fear. The odds of me wandering out of this facility are pretty low.

I remind myself of this as I take a timid step forward. My soaking wet hair causes water to seep through my shirt. It makes my back feel sticky, but I ignore it as I feel my way to the door. My hand touches the warm tiles of the wall, and then I feel metal. I reach down, feeling for the door knob. My hand catches on it, and I pull the door open.

Cool air from the hallway greets me. Hushed voices are coming from the main area ( I think ) and I follow them. I keep one of my hands on the wall, trying to calm my racing heart. Is it possible that WICKED turned the lights off, opened the doors, and set Cranks free in here? They have us trapped like mice. They could do anything to us and we wouldn't be able to escape. We are all doomed.

Wait. What happened to Brenda and Jorge? I was supposed to go into the Scorch with them. I didn't see Brenda after that one night we trained. Is she already there? Did WICKED plan for the Familiars to follow a certain path, come across Brenda and Jorge, and try to make it out of the Scorch together? But then again, why would Brenda and Jorge be there to help us?

This is all apart of a plan that I don't understand. But, if we have to go into the Scorch, that would put Newt at risk. I am going to do everything I can to keep him out. I don't care what I have to do. He is my best friend, boyfriend, and family. He's all I have left. I won't give him up to the clutches of the Flare.

I won't give up on him like I did my brother.

My hand catches nothing but air. The hushed voices are no longer whispers, but a string of steady commands. I can't see the outlines of anybody, but I know they're there—including Aris. I mean, he _knows._ I don't know if I'll ever be brave enough to face him. I just froze when he mentioned…. _Him._ I can't even think of his name anymore! It's too suffocating. Everything is crushing me.

" What's going on? " My voice comes out shaky, and it reminds me of all those months ago in the Box. Darkness, and then nothing but light as they opened the door and showed me my new home.

" We don't know. " I hear Frypan say, and I make my way further into the room when I bump into something. It feels like a body, but it sways. I grab it, my hand landing on it's ankle. It's cold under my touch, making me jerk my hand back.

A blinding light comes on.

All I hear are gasps, and I squint and cover my face with my hand.

My vision clears and I fall to my knees.

My brother is hanging from the ceiling.

His body is covered in blood, whether it's his or not, I don't know. The clothes he wears are tattered and torn, showing parts of his skin that appear raw. I find myself staring at the expression on his face. His glasses are gone, and his hair matted with blood and hanging in front of his face. His mouth is slightly parted, as if he could draw in a breath at any moment. His eyes are shut, and his chest is still. He's dead, I know he is. But some part of me hopes that the noose around his neck will loosen and he'll fall to the ground in a heap of laughs claiming that it was all a prank.

But nothing happens.

I tear my clouded eyes away from Noah and at the other bodies hanging from the ceiling. A few I recognize as Janson's guards or soldiers or whatever they were. But the other two I would be able to recognize even if I were blind.

My mother's hair falls all the way to her waist, unbound and free. Her face looks peaceful, free from all the worry that plagued her while she worked for WICKED. Next to her my father is ragged. Some of his brown hair is missing in places, and his face has scratches raked down it. Some of the skin on his arm is peeling off, and my mind goes back to something my mom said.

" _He wasn't immune… "_

My dad was a Crank. But, but, if he's in here, then is the Flare in the air? How is the Flare even transmitted? Newt has to get away from here. I have to move, save him, do something! But my legs are frozen as paralyzing anguish presses down on me. WICKED hung my family in here. Not only did they kill them but they keep their bodies just to do this. Just to have them rot here.

My breathing becomes labored as my eyes dart between the three. _Noah_ ; you were always so calculating and smart that I never thought this would happen to you. _Mom:_ you were Ava's sister. The thought that she could do this to you sickens me. _Dad:_ my memories of you are few, but it doesn't take much to love someone who gave you life.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

" Louisa. " Minho says, grabbing my shoulder as he kneels next to me. " Are you okay? "

I don't turn and face him. I simply stare at the bodies with wide, terrified eyes. _My family is dead._

I don't fight against Minho when he pulls me into his arms and hugs me to his chest. Rather, I relax into him and squeeze my eyes shut, willing the images out of my mind. But it's like they're glued to the back of my eyelids.

I feel tears running down my cheeks. I didn't want to cry. I'm so sick of crying. It's as if that's all I can do. For once, I want to be strong and prevent myself from falling apart. I don't want to have to need Newt or Minho or any of the Familiars. Despite that, I'm sitting here in Minho's arms.

" What the hell are we going to do? " Winston asks, his voice piercing my thoughts. " Louisa said she could help yet all she does is sit around and cry. "

" This isn't about her. " I hear Newt say, " This is about us surviving. "

" We should take our chances in the Scorch. " Thomas says, and I feel my heart drop into my stomach. That's impossible. We can't go. Newt will-

But it's not just about Newt, is it? No doubt staying here will cause us to starve to death or get murdered by WICKED. But I can't just sacrifice Newt like that. I don't care how many people it would save. I will not let them do that to him.

" Can we have this conversation somewhere else? " Minho's irritable voice snaps, and I can't help but agree with him. There's a Crank in here. Some of these people aren't immune.

" Go ahead and take your little girlfriend away from here. Wouldn't want the princess to throw up now would we? " Winston snickers.

" Shut up. " The words come out mumbled and broken against Minho's shirt.

" You said you were going to help us, " Winston's words are as sharp as a knife and cut just as deep. " Do something. "

The fact that I am useless is true. I have down nothing I promised for them. But I still pull away from Minho and open my eyes.

" When did you become such an ass? " I make my way up to my feet although my legs still feel like jello. His eyes widen and I take a step toward him, pushing past my brother.

" When you left us in the Maze to die. " He fires back and I ignore the guilt eating at my insides. " Since you killed my best friend. "

It's getting too hard to breathe. " I did it for-"

" For your family, right? " He hisses, " Look how well that worked out. You practically held the gun that killed them. They're dead because of you. You sacrifice nothing for anyone. "

The next thing I know the palm of my hand is stinging and he's holding his cheek. I kick him in the crotch and he falls to his knees with a groan.

" You. Arrogant. Ass. " I kick him in between the words, making sure to put as much malice into them as possible. The lights flicker, and the Familiars watch the exchange with fear in their eyes. Fear at me. Fear at what I will do to Winston.

" Do you have any idea what it's like? " I growl. " To have your family thrust back into your hands and then told you have to take care of them? Then you watch your friends who were trapped inside a giant Maze fail and suffer day after day. They finally get out and you aren't allowed to see them. And when you do manage to get away for just a second, you get shoved into a room full of Cranks and electrocuted. Then taken away by someone who you thought you could trust and shoved into a torture room? When you regain consciousness you find out that your entire family is dead. The people you were supposed to take care of, dead, gone. Because you couldn't stop trying to save your friends. "

I turn around and point to my dad's rotting body. " My dad warned me. He warned me about this and I didn't listen. Because, because I knew about phase two and didn't want you guys to go through that. I played right into WICKED's hand. "

" Now I'm standing here, staring at my family's dead bodies because I couldn't stop fighting. " My voice manages to stay strong.

I face Winston, his features slack and shock in his eyes. " So before you tell me I didn't sacrifice anything, take a good long look at those three bodies because I sacrificed everything! "

My voice catches on the last word.

" We need a plan. " I say, turning back around to face everyone. I pretend not to notice their shocked faces. " but the Scorch is out of the question. "

" Why? " Thomas asks, seeming to be the only one that can find his voice.

" Some of you— "

The words get stuck in my throat as I sway and fall, my head narrowly missing the corner of the table. The Familiars explode in worried yells. Newt drops to his knees next to me, pulling my head in his lap. He strokes my hair, comforting me as the nausea hits.

This time, falling into the memory isn't as bad.

…..

 _The wooden table in the middle of the room looks worn down and old. My dad is reading the newspaper, but it doesn't look recent. The pages are yellowing and they crinkle each time he turns the page. My eye catches some letters on the corner of the page:_ AL H E IS GO E. _The rest of the letters are too faded to read._

" _Dad? " The voice that leaves my mouth is small and quiet. I can't be any older than five._

 _The paper lowers, and his face peeks out from the top. A forced smile stretches across his face, and it causes mine to light up. Surely if my dad can smile, everything is okay._

" _Yes? " He asks; his voice sounds young and pure. It reminds me of the honey that I put on the biscuits my mom makes._

" _Where is Noah? " I hadn't seen my brother in days. He was always by my side, like the guards that I see patrolling the streets. Without him here, I feel lonely._

 _I fail to notice how my father's face dims when I bring Noah up._

" _He's visiting relatives. " Dad says while bringing the newspaper back up. Pictures are scattered across the back: fires, burned houses and men covered in blood._

" _Why couldn't I go? " I feel left out. If Noah was able to visit family—people that I've never met, but would love to see—then I should be able to._

" _He needed to take care of a couple of things. " He turns the page, the pages make crinkling sound. One of the pages rips, and he sighs, dropping the paper and running a hand over his face. " He should be back today. "_

" _Really? " I ask, hope lacing into my voice. I missed my brother's constant presence at my side. The way he always found a way to talk to me, make me feel like I'm not alone when mom and dad leave for work._

 _A knock on the door causes me to jump out of my chair. We never get visitors, never. My dad leaves the kitchen, sending me a pointed look that lets me know I should stay. So when his body disappears around the corner, I count to five and follow him._

 _The hallways are dimly lit, and I fight myself on imagining monsters materializing in the darkness. A shiver crawls down my spine, but it quickly leaves as I turn the corner and walk into the brightness of the living room. Dad is at the front door, his old work clothes looking worn and faded. I walk behind him, ignoring the cold breeze that pushes through the door. I peer out from behind his legs and at our unexpected visitors._

 _There's a lady standing there, perfect brown hair and white winter attire. A boy peeks out from behind her legs, and she pushes him in front of her. I tug on my dad's pants and he looks down at me in surprise._

" _Who are they? " I whisper, and he looks back up at the woman, and then down at the boy. His glasses reflect the snow that lay on the ground beside our porch. I offer a small smile, but his face remains a mask. His brown hair has white flecks in it, and he shakes them off._

" _What are you talking about? " My father questions, " This is your brother. "_

 _I look back at the boy. He does_ look _like my brother. Could I really have forgotten him in the past week?_

" _Noah? " The name comes out quietly as I slowly approach the boy. He regards me with no recognition, but I run into his arms anyway. " Noah. "_

 _His arms wrap around me, but he's as stiff as a board. I pull away and we go inside, but dad regards the kid with a certain coldness. I ignore it as I begin to talk to Noah, telling him about all he missed._

 _" I'm sorry I missed it. " He says, his green eyes locking onto mine. I smile._

 _" It's okay. " I say, and we go play with the toys in the living room. I'm happy, but Noah seems awkward. His eyes are darting everywhere, and his steps seem unsure. My dad doesn't seem to keen about him, and mom treats him with caution at dinner. When I close my eyes to go to sleep that night, I realize something._

 _My brother had blue eyes._

 _..._

When I wake up, I'm laying on something soft. My eyes burn as if I've been crying during the memory, and I squeeze them shut. My breath is ragged and my heart is racing. If what I remember is correct, then the guy hanging in the main room isn't my biological brother. The who..? Is my real brother out there some where, wandering and wondering why his family abandoned him?

I shove the thoughts into a safe and throw the key away. I can't think about this right now. Right now it's about getting out and somewhere safe. I need to become numb to everything. A robot.

It's not until I open my eyes that I realize I'm in my room and all the Familiars are here. They're staring at me, annoyance and worry etched in their faces. I feel someone touch my hand, and I look to my right and see Newt holding it. He has a distant look on his face, as if thinking of some sour thought. He stares at my hand as he traces circles on it. The simple motion calms me and I squeeze his hand to let him know I'm awake.

" What were you saying before? " I hear Thomas asks just as Newt's eyes drift up to mine. I look over at him. He's standing in front of the window, moonlight streaming in from behind him. His arms are crossed over his chest. " Is there a way to get to Teresa? "

Of course he's worried about Teresa.

" I'm sorry about Teresa, because I don't know. " His face falls, but I continue talking. " As for why we can't go into the Scorch, well let's just say, " The words tamper off as my eyes widen. Something just moved behind Thomas. My heartbeat turns erratic as another shadow joins its brother, dancing in perfect sync.

" What are you...? " He turns and nearly stumbles back into Aris. My stomach drops in fear, and I feel my hand tighten around Newt's. _They can't get in, they can't get in,_ I tell myself, but I don't know if it's true as their nails scratch against the glass.

And then the Cranks scream.

* * *

 **BOOM! Also I wrote this on my phone, so please pardon any typos and errors.**

 **Sorry for the late update. My aunt decided to get drunk and try and kill herself, so I've been worried about that. I wasn't able to concentrate. Don't worry tho, my aunt is fine.**

 **What was up with Minho in this one tho? Last chapter or two they were all like I HATE YOU! And now he comforts her...?**

 **Perhaps I hate you can be their always.**

 **There was something I wanted to say... OH! I wrote a one-shot and posted it a couple of weeks ago. Alternate universe with Lo and Newt and Minho where Newt never got sent up. You should go check it out, :)**

 **I'm going to try to get the next update out soon. I can't make any promises. I'm preparing for my last softball tournament of the season, and then there's school that I somehow managed to get behind in.**

 **I'm going to sleep. Have a good day, morning, night, afternoon and evening! Once again, so sorry for not updating sooner.**


	11. Chapter 11

**I highly recommend re-reading the last chapter.**

* * *

The Cranks' screams are raw and guttural. It reminds me of the Cranks locked in WICKED's basement, and how the electricity surged through their bodies, and mine. I grind my teeth at the memory. It happened just a few days ago, but it feels like months. Too much has happened.

" What the bloody hell are those things? " Newt asks, and his eyes find mine.

" Cranks. " I say, and then the Familiars erupt in a panic of loud questions and commands. I try to tune them out, to tune it all out and go back to sleep, but the Cranks prevent it. Their haunted screams echo throughout my mind, replaying like a broken record. Over and over and over. What if they break the glass? They are far worse than Grievers. If they were just Grievers, I would be able to disable them and we would be fine. But the Cranks listen to no one; their crazed minds only listen to themselves. There's no way to protect ourselves.

My eyes can't seem to leave them. They don't look like the Cranks I saw at WICKED. No, these are far worse. The madness has overtaken their mind, and it pilots the bodies. They look like husks of their former selves, and I don't even know what they looked like before. All I know is that these people are dead to the world. Perhaps the only thing they crave is human flesh. Exactly like a zombie. The only difference being these people can at least attempt to be smart and clever. They can use their disease ridden brains and figure out a way to hunt you down and kill you.

But one of them doesn't look so crazy. In fact, she looks completely normal save for the few cuts she-

Nandini.

Her brown eyes flicker between Newt and me, slowly widening. My heart is thudding in my chest, threatening to burst out. This is just…..Impossible! How did she escape from WICKED? I don't want to admit it, but I had hoped she would be past the Gone or dead by now. Yet, here she is, nearly healthy and staring at her brother. The one she is going to end up killing.

" We can't stay in here. " I say, my eyes remaining on Nandini. She bangs on the glass, screaming now. When she does that she looks exactly like the other Cranks.

" Newt! " She screams and I stand up. " Newt! It's me! Nandini! Don't you remember? " The words are muffled by the glass, but Newt is transfixed on the girl, and he slowly stands, dropping my hand.

" We have to get out. Now. " I growl, grabbing Newt and trying to pull him away from the window. But he keeps walking, as if I'm not even here.

" It's me. " Nandini yells, and my eyes dart over to her, a silent plea for her to shut the hell up. " I'm your sister. "

Newt puts his hand on the glass, right where her's is. His eyebrows are drawn together in confusion, as if he thinks he remembers, but doesn't. There's probably a flurry of images passing through his mind; ones of them having fun, but not enough to form a solid thought about her.

" Don't you remember? " She asks, " We were together up until ten years ago, when—"

" Shut the hell up Nandini! " I yell, enraged and full of panic. This can't be happening. Newt can't know. He _can't._

I can feel the Familiars' eyes on me, each gaze accusing. But I don't care. All that matters is getting out of this room. Away from the Cranks and away from Nandini.

Her eyes dart over to me. " Louisa. " She hisses through the glass, " You look better, better than you did in WICKED's basement, at least. "

My blood turns to fire. Does she know she's killing her brother? Now that he knows….

Newt now knows he has a sister. He knows I knew it. He knows I kept it from him. He's going to be pissed at me. I have so many secrets now, it just, I can't tell him the truth. It would crush me, and him.

The few days we were happy were nice while they lasted.

Newt's hand drops from the glass as he slowly turns and faces me. The confusion is evident, but it seemingly clears away with each second, replaced by a hot, raging fury. I shrink under his gaze, something I've never done before. I've never had this fear inside of me. We've been separated before, but that wasn't by choice. What if he pushes me away?

He opens his mouth to speak, to yell, to do something, but I never find out what it is. I turn and push past the Familiars, and sprint out of the room. I know Nandini will tell them everything. How I murdered someone, how I nearly tortured her, how I left her in the darkness. The Familiars will finally realize how bad of a person I am.

The hallways are hot and stuffy, but the main room is even worse. The bodies are still there, festering in the heat. I lean against the nearest wall, letting my back slide down it as I draw my knees to my chest. The body closest to me is my mom, and I find myself staring at her. She's so beautiful, even with the gunshot wounds in her shoulders and stomach. I wish I were more like her. She was strong; she endured. I'm just crumbling under everything.

What's wrong with me? Why do I have to feel this pain all the time? God must really hate me, just like everyone else. Newt says he doesn't want to lose me, but I bet he doesn't feel that way now. Family is more important to someone than a girlfriend, or a boyfriend. When I found out I had a brother, I was so happy. If someone tried to keep me away from him, I would've killed them because I wanted someone I could connect to my past.

If Newt feels like that…God help me.

" What am I supposed to do, mom? " I ask, hoping that somewhere she can hear me and lead me to do the right things. " I lied to him. But it was to save his life, even if he doesn't know it. "

" Talking to walls now, are we? " I hear Janson ask, and I jump up to my feet. He's sitting behind a desk, his feet propped up on it. He holds a book in his hand, and he licks he fingers as he turns the page. But, he looks slightly distorted, as if there's a barrier.

" How could you understand? " I growl as I hear footsteps from the hallway behind me. He looks at me from over his book with a slight smirk. I make sure to put as much hate into my gaze as possible. My eyes dart to my brother, who might not actually be my brother, in a silent plea for advice. But dead bodies don't talk.

I blink and they are gone. No stink, no blood dripping onto the floor, no family. All evidence of them being here wiped away in a split second. Was it just a hallucination, a dream maybe? No, everybody saw it. But how did they get rid of the bodies so fast? I didn't even see anyone move anything! Only one explanation, but it's so ridiculous that I don't even want to consider it.

" Where did they go? " I ask, completely baffled and mystified, but I don't let it show in my voice or on my face.

" Where did what go? " Ratman asks in a sickeningly sweet voice, " Louisa, honey. I think you're starting to see things. "

I charge forward with the intent to knock his teeth down his throat, anger seething through every pore. But I slam into a barrier before I can get closer than ten feet. He glances up at me, then back down at his book as if I'm no more than a roach. I take a couple steps back, and I sit down on the floor and glare at him.

Then, as the footsteps get louder, he stands, rushes toward me and past the barrier. Next thing I know, there's a knife pressed to my back, and I'm on the other side of the invisible wall. My breathing halts, and the knife point digs into my back. _This can't be happening._

" Last time I let them do it. Let them have all the fun. " He whispers, and the footsteps I heard earlier get louder, " This time, I'm going to savor every second of it. "

He drops me, and I try to scramble away, but I end up with a bloody nose. I can feel blood dripping down my back, and the cut stings. At least it didn't burn like it did when I was strapped to that table. At least the blade isn't poisoned. The sound of metal scratching against the floor resonates throughout the room, and then Janson grabs me by the back of my shirt and shoves me in a chair. I move to get up, but he shoves me back down. I hear the clinking of metal, and pressure on my wrist. When I look down, I'm handcuffed to the chair.

" I'll make what happened in that room seem like child's play. " Janson croons just as Minho walks in. His eyes go wide and he runs forward with every intent to bash Janson's face in. But he slams face first into the barrier, and falls on his ass.

" Great job Minho. I should give you a kiss. " I roll my eyes, despite the fear that's implanted inside me. Janson puts a hand on my shoulder as Minho stumbles up to his feet.

" Let her go. " Minho growls, clenching his fists. I hear the hiss of a blade being taken out of it's sheath, and feel it's presence on my neck.

My heart seizes.

Frypan, Winston, Thomas, and Aris walk into the room, tensing up as soon as they see Janson and the knife. I try to control my breathing, but that's kind of hard to do when you're scared for your life. Thomas turns and sprints back down the hall, to do what, I don't know. All I know is that there's is a knife at my neck, and that it's different than the one that I was stabbed in the back with. He didn't put that knife in a sheath. This one is different in some way, and it's probably poisoned.

Thomas comes back moments later, with Newt following behind him. I can see panic and concern flash through his eyes, but he doesn't rush forward. Instead he goes and stands next to Frypan, never taking his eyes off me.

" Here's the deal. " Ratman says once everybody is in here, " Louisa here has committed some crimes. She's killed a member of WICKED, who happened to be a close friend of mine. "

Oh hell. Oh _hell._

" She needs to pay for what she's done. " He says, and the knife leaves my neck. For a moment I nearly sag with relief, but then the knife is at my hand, and he's grabbing my fingers.

" Pick a finger. "

" You can't make her! " Minho yells, " That's too much of a punishment for killing someone. "

The knife goes back to my neck.

" Would you rather I take her life? " Ratman says and he pushes the knife into my neck and I wince, and then warmth spreads down, and onto my collar bone.

" I would rather you leave her the hell alone! She's suffered enough! "

My breathing is coming in rapid huffs. I can't die here. I can't. Newt does't know the truth, I haven't protected him.

" Hmm. " And the knife leaves my skin, and I hear it clatter on the desk. The Familiars visibly sag with relief but my heartbeat is still erratic. " I'll leave her alone. "

I want to feel relieved, but I can only feel scared. Janson won't let something like this go so easily. He unlocks the handcuffs and shoves me out of the chair and through the barrier. I land on the ground, gasping and sputtering, tears forming at the corners of my eyes. I'm alive. For now.

Minho is immediately at my side, and then he sees my back. He narrows his eyes at it, then glares at Janson, then looks back at me, his expression soft.

" You've got to stop doing that. " He says, pulling me into his arms, wary of the cut on my back. I wrap my arms around him, and I expect Newt to put a hand on my shoulder, and say how glad he is that I'm alive, but nothing happens.

So I melt into Minho's embrace.

" Thirty minutes until I initiate Phase Two. " Janson says, sitting down at his desk and picking up his book.

I don't move from Minho's arms, and he doesn't make me. I feel safe here. Like Minho is shielding me from Ratman. Odd, considering I always tell him I hate him. I don't think about it, and try not to read into it too much.

" Louisa, are you okay? " I hear Thomas ask, and I nod my head. I regret the movement as soon as I do it as I feel the cut in my neck pull. I turn my head and rest it on Minho's shoulder, my eyes finding Newt's. I can't read the expression on his face, but I swear hurt flashed through his eyes; hurt, anger, and sorrow.

 _It's not my fault. It's_ not _my fault._ I tell myself that over and over, even though I know it isn't true. I lied to him, I hurt him. I'll never forgive myself for that, so how can I expect him to forgive me?

" Why didn't you tell me I had a sister? " He asks quietly, and my stomach drops.

" I'm protecting you. " My voice comes out hoarse as I push away from Minho. I sit on my knees and force myself to look Newt in the eyes, even as all the fury I saw earlier comes back.

" From what? " He hisses, " What threat could she possibly pose? "

Janson laughs.

" I'm protecting you from yourself and her. You don't get it. You won't get it. " I feel like crawling into a hole and staying there, or running away. I don't want to have this conversation with Newt. I don't want what we had to fall apart.

" Tell me. "

" No. " _Please, just leave it alone._

He strides forward and grabs my arm, squeezing hard. I wince and look away, my mind flashing back to those times in the Glade with Reed.

" Tell me. "

" I won't be the one to destroy you. " I rip my arm out of his grasp, and rub where he had grabbed it. I can tell it's going to bruise. His eyes widen as he realizes what he's done, and he shakily puts his hand by his side.

" Who are you? " He whispers and I turn my eyes towards him, my heart seizing. " Because the girl I fell in love with would never keep secrets from me. "

" The girl you fell in love with would do anything to keep you safe. Even if it meant you would hate her. " I turn my head, unable to hold his gaze any longer the disappointment in it.

I stand and walk away from him—away from everyone.

I just need to be alone.

….

The bathroom is the only place I can find that will let me have a single moment of solitude. The slick tiles don't bother me as I sit down on them, and draw my knees to my chest. I rest my head on them, and squeeze my eyes shut, willing everything to just disappear.

I've never felt so helpless, so useless. All I'm doing is making empty promises to people who need someone like Thomas, or Minho, or Newt. They need a leader. I'm not that. I'm someone who keeps secrets, cries, and just wallows around in self-pity. What kind of person have I become?

I wish, more than anything, for Newt to be immune. I would trade my own life for it. It would make things so much more simple. It would make my life so much easier. I have to become strong. For him. If I don't, then everything will just fall apart. I can't let that happen.

I don't want to think about it anymore.

Instead, I turn my mind to the memory I had. The memory of spending time with my father, and my brother. Wait—not my brother, but someone else. A person who was sent to take his place. Who is my real brother? Is my true brother dead, just like the imposter?

No, Noah wasn't an imposter. Even if he wasn't my biological brother, he was there for me when I needed him most. He supported me just like a brother should. From what I can remember, my parents eventually came to love him. My mom regarded him with affection and love, and he loved her just as much. He may not have been born into the family, but he grew into it.

But that doesn't mean I don't want to find my biological brother. Would he remember me? Does he hate me? Is he even alive? He deserves to know what happened to mom and dad. He deserves to know what happened to his family. Not only that, but he's the only family I have left. I have to find him.

But….but what if he—

No. I can't consider that fact. I…..Can't….

My thoughts slow to a halt. My eyes flutter shut and the room goes dark as I lose myself in my mind.

….

 _I'm back in the Maze. The air is dry and hot, and it makes my eyes water. I wipe them and look around. The Deadheads are nothing but smoldering ash, and the Homestead is surrounded by flames that stretch high into the nighttime sky. I take a step and hear a sickening crunch under my foot. When I look down, a cracked skull darkened with soot is staring up at me. My eyes try to leave it, but another one is next to it, and another next to that one. I realize the field around me is an ocean of half rotten bodies and skulls under a thick layer of ash._

 _My stomach lurches and I bite back my scream. Strangled yells permeate the air, and my feet carry me toward them even though I don't want to wade through the bodies. Each step I take results in the crunch of a skull or a rib or a leg, and I wonder who I'm stepping on._

 _Then I'm falling. My stomach rises into my throat. Down, down and down. The flames disappear into the night and the stars fade. Voices whisper accusing me of any and everything._

" _She's the one that killed her friend. "_

" _She betrayed her friend. "_

" _She's a failure. "_

" _She got her family killed. "_

" _She's a horrible person. "_

 _My mind swims with these insults, and I cover my ears trying to block them out._

" _No. No. No. " I yell. " That's not true! "_

 _Newt appears in the darkness, falling with me. I smile at the sight of him, but he remains stoic. Blood starts to stain his blond hair, dripping down into his face and it runs down his neck. Places of his skin starts to rot, altering his face and his shirt starts to sag more as he looses muscle. Sorrow warps his features, and he starts to dissolve into nothing. Parts of his disintegrating and falling into the blackness. A strangled scream escapes me and he manages to get one sentence out before he disappears completely._

" _This is all your fault. "_

 _My feet land on the ground, surprisingly soft considering how long I was falling. My legs give out and I drop to my knees._

" _No. " I whisper, Newt's existence fading into nothing replaying through my mind._

This is all my fault.

….

When I wake up I can feel tears, hot and wet, streaming down my face. That wasn't a memory. That was a nightmare. And it was pure and utter hell.

The blood on my back is partially dried, making it sticky. My vision is blurred because of tears, causing the world to appear in a blur of tan and black. I rub my eyes in an attempt to clear my sight just as I feel a gust of stuffy wind.

My heart drops to my stomach.

I'm in the middle of the Scorch, and the building I was in is no where to be seen.

* * *

 **HEYY GUYS! IM NOT DEAD.**

 **Yea, so sorry about not updating. I was in a bit of a slump and kind of took a short break. I worked on this chapter throughout the whole month, so sorry if my thoughts seem a bit scattered in places.**

 **Also, you all have one person to thank for this chapter going out today. SWAGMASTER5000! AKA the person who reads the chapters via DM on instagram before I get them up. She mentioned something and it just set my mind rolling. Thank you so much my best internet** **friend.**

 **Anyway, please don't kill me for taking so long to get this out. Also, please don't kill me for taking Louisa away from the Gladers. This kind of has to happen.  
**

 **NANDINI MAKES A COMEBACK! And Lewt suffers as a consequence. But... Minhlo though.** **  
**

 **Next chapter will be out soon. I have refreshed inspiration.**

 **Also, I'm praying for Paris, and for the world. Dear readers, please stay safe.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Heyy! Surprise! I'm back so soon.**

* * *

I stumble to my feet. My mind is going in a million different directions as I take in the rolling sand dunes. It's blistering, even as the night takes over. I twist and turn, looking for the building. It has to be here. I can't be out here by myself. How can I protect the Familiars if I'm not even with them?

A bag lay on the ground a couple feet away from me. It's small. I doubt you could even fit a water bottle in there. Why am I out here? Has WICKED thrown me out here? This has to be another test. I was told I was supposed to go into the Scorch with Brenda and Jorge, but I didn't know it was going to happen like this. Is that even what happened? I'm so confused and scared and lost.

I bend my knees and pick the bag up. It's not as heavy as I'd like it to be. There can't be more than a knife in here—if WICKED even gave me that. It's like they're trying to kill me. Because now…Now I'm out here with the Cranks in the middle of the night and I have no way to defend myself. I'd have to gouge their eyes out with my fingers, and I really don't want to do that. It would be a pain to get that out from under my nails. And not only that but Cranks used to be _people._ People! I refuse to kill any more people, crazy or not.

When I open the bag I suppress a laugh. There's nothing but a piece of paper in there. Those damn bastards. Leaving me for dead like this. It's going to take a lot to survive the trek across the Scorch. I don't even know where I'm supposed to be going. If I get lost, I die.

Wait, I am lost.

Dammit.

I pull the note out of the bag, the paper feeling too smooth against the grit on my fingers. It's folded, the ink that should be on it hidden. Each time I unfold it my heart skips a beat, anticipating some threat against the Familiars. Something like " If you don't make it to this destination, we'll kill them. ", you know, WICKED stuff.

But what I didn't was expect was the series of numbers. 30, 0, 0, 27, 5, 0. I groan. What the hell?

I crumble to note up and throw it as far as I can, which isn't very far. My energy is gone, I have no food, no water. I feel like screaming, but it would attract the attention of everything here. Cranks, snakes, scorpions, lizards, coyotes. I don't want to see any of those. They could kill me. And what about that cut on my back? I have nothing to clean it with. Infection could set up. If that happens I won't make it anywhere.

I strap the bag across my back knowing that the best time to travel in a desert is at night. I've heard that the Scorch reaches unfathomable temperatures during the day. Walking in that would make me sweat more, and I'd lose more water and become dehydrated even quicker. As I start to walk, I pick the note back up as a second thought, thinking that it must have some sort of importance.

Don't worry Newt. I'll make it back to you, even if you don't want me there. I'll save you. I'll protect you.

And with that thought, I set off through the Scorch ignoring the screams in the distance.

….

This place is absolutely empty. I climb a sand dune, hoping, praying that I'll see some building in the distance, but there's nothing but more sand. My legs feel like they're on fire. But I can't stop. I have to cover as much distance as possible before the sun rises. Then I have to find shade, or something to get me out the sun. If I don't I'll slowly cook as I sleep. I don't wish to become food. If I have to I'll bury myself in the sand.

I wish I had better clothes. When the wind blows sand scratches the exposed skin on my shins. I use my shirt to cover my mouth and nose, but the thin fabric doesn't help much. WICKED could've told me when they were going to ditch me in the middle of the desert so I'd had time to wear something better suited. A scarf, some army pants, combat boots, a jacket. Anything to keep the sun and sand off my skin.

I turn around and check behind me for any stalkers, but I only see my footprints. A reminder of how alone I am.

I had walked in the direction of the moon a couple of hours ago, and now the rising sun is beating down on my back. The stars are disappearing fast and I have no shelter. I can't remember the last time I ate. My tongue feels heavy and like sandpaper sapping all the moisture out of my mouth. But I have to push through it. I can't die out here. I won't die out here. I refuse to die by the hands of WICKED. I have my brother to fight for. Newt. Minho. Thomas. Frypan.

Their names pulse through my mind, propelling me forward.

A lizard walks by my boot, the only bit of life I've seen since I stepped out here. Out of instinct my foot darts out, trapping it under my weight. I reach down to grab its tail, but it burrows through the sand, it's tan skin disappearing. I kick the sand in frustration. That could've been my dinner!

I go to take another step, but a scream bounces off the sand; I stop walking. It sounds like it's saying something, and the voice sounds familiar. It sounds sorta like….

Oh hell no.

I refuse to travel through the Scorch with her. It's another person to feed, another person to give water to, and another person to put up with. Not only that but she's a Crank! How the hell am I supposed to be able to trust her? It would be beneficial to have someone keep watch while I sleep, and we could take turns. But….

Then I make out what she is yelling.

" Help! "

Is she that stupid? Is she trying to attract every Crank in the vicinity? Not that I can see any anywhere but what if they have hyped up hearing? Despite how much I despise Nandini right now, my feet start to carry me towards her voice, and soon enough I'm breaking into a sprint to save her. She _is_ Newt's sister.

When I make it over the dune what I see shocks me. There's a Crank attacking Nandini, nearly clawing her face off. She's screaming, and the Crank is screaming with her creating a harmony that isn't so harmonious. I run down the sand dune ( more like fall ) and sprint to Nandini, tackling the crank off her. We fall to the ground in a mess of tangled limbs. I try to crawl away from her, but she bites my calf. I cry out as her rotten teeth pierce the skin on my exposed leg. I kick her head away, hard enough to knock her backs couple feet. I stagger up to my feet and get ready to fight. When she charges again, teeth bared and eyes crazy, I grab her head and snap her neck, just like I did with Reed.

Just like I did with Reed.

I just killed another person and I didn't think twice about it.

I fall to my knees and wince when sand goes into the bite wound. I feel blood cascading down my leg and falling onto the ground. I hear footsteps but I pay no mind to them. I just killed another person. Even if they were a Crank, they had some sort of life. And I took it from them. Gone in an instant. I had killed her the same way I killed Reed. With my bare hands.

Nandini kneels next to me, her eyes locked onto the Crank. She probably thinks I'm a monster. She's seen me kill two people and she doesn't even know about the third. What kind of person does that? I'm a murderer. I deserve what WICKED has done to me.

I glance up at Nandini. She's looking at me with tears streaming down her face.

" What's wrong with you? " I choke out one of the most stupid questions I've ever asked. It's obvious. She nearly lost her life. I would be crying too.

" She was my mom. " Each word is short and clipped, like saying the words causes her pain.

Her mom. Newt's mom. _Mom._

She just lost her mother. For the second time, probably. The first time was when her mom turned into a Crank and lost her mind. This time, Nandini probably saw her and thought her mom might remember. thought that by some miracle, her mom would run towards her with open arms and welcome her daughter home. Then she got attacked, her hopes and dreams coming crashing down around her. She just lost another piece of her family.

I'm hugging Nandini before I realize what I'm doing.

A thirteen year old girl, wandering the Scorch all alone, with nothing but the wind and the sun to keep her company. I understand now, why she needs her brother. He's the only family she has left. She will not let me get in the way of that. I was stupid to try. I should've told Newt the truth—all of it, even the part about him not being immune—and let them decide what to do. It's not my life; I can't interfere.

The sobbing girl in my arms needs Newt more than I do.

" I'm sorry. " I whisper into the girl's hair, and I let her cry as much as she needs to. " You can come with me. "

" T-thank you. " The girl hugs me tighter, clinging onto me like a life source. She's just like me. Lost, depressed, and full of rage and longing. She needs someone to hang on to—someone to help her.

Even though I'm just as lost as her, I decide to be the one to hold her hand and guide her through the darkness.

….

We rest our back against the sand dune for a majority of the day. Nandini's eyes are red and puffy from all the crying she did, but I don't judge her for it. I can practically see the world crumbling down around her. It's happened to me far too many times. I don't want that to happen to other people.

I am supposed to hate her. I'm supposed to hate her for being the one that is putting Newt's life in danger. For being so selfish as to risk infecting your own brother with the Flare. But sometimes it's okay to be selfish. I'm selfish for trying to keep Newt from her. Now, as I watch her sleep, I can't imagine what I would have done if I were in her shoes. She's been alone since she was little; that much I can gather from what she's said in the past. But to know that you're slowly losing your mind, and that your brother is with some tyrannic science-y people, would just kill me. I would've ended my own life if I were her. But _she_ didn't. That makes her brave.

I'm finding it hard to hate her. I'm actually starting to respect the kid.

I can already feel a sunburn creeping onto my face and arms. It's nearly night time again, and I'm starving. I'm not tired, though. I slept while Nandini buried her mother. There was a funeral and everything, I just didn't feel like I deserved to go. I mean, I killed the lady. I doubt she'd want her mother's murderer at the funeral. So I decided to sleep and let Nandini keep watch. We switched just three hours ago. Three hours of sleep isn't really enough for her, but I wake her up anyway. We have to keep moving.

" Nandini, " I shove her shoulder, " Wake up. "

She groans as her eyes peel open. She rubs the sleep from them and stands, stretching her arms and legs out. I do the same thing, nearly falling when I put weight on my injured leg. It hurts like a bitch, but I'm not going to complain about it. I can't complain about it. Complaining about it isn't going to make it heal faster, and it would be a waste of breath.

" Let's go. " I say, and I start to limp through the sand when I realize she isn't following. I look back at her over my shoulder to find a confused look on her face, but then she shakes it off and jogs after me.

" Where are we going? " Nandini pushes her hair back behind her ear and looks up at me, " Don't tell me you don't know. "

I smile sheepishly.

" Great. " She says, " Well then it's a good thing I know the Scorch pretty well. "

That piques my interest. " You do? "

" Yea. I've been here for years. " Nandini replies, a bit of pride in her tone, " If we keep walking in that direction, in about two weeks you'd end up at Denver. "

I groan. " I don't have two weeks. "

" Then we should go that way. " She points in a random direction. I don't see anything but sand and a purple sky. But, trusting that she isn't trying to kill me, I set off in that direction.

" Alrighty, " I take a step, " Let's go. "

" To the Scorched City. " She adds as she follows me. I don't question it, but I hope it's a civilization. Not of Cranks, but of people who are immune.

I hope the Familiars are okay. That last sentence that Newt said is constantly playing in my mind, crushing my soul each time. _The girl I fell in love with would never keep secrets from me._ Does that mean he doesn't love me anymore? If that's true… I would just… I don't know what I'd do.

Well. I'll always have Minho at least. He was there for me when Newt wasn't. When I saw my parents hanging from the ceiling, it was Minho who took me into his arms. When I almost got my neck cut open, and stabbed in the back, it was Minho who brought me into his arms and ask if I was okay. Newt just watched. Of course, the first time he had to calm the Familiars. And the second he was pissed at me for keeping secrets. But when Newt wasn't there, Minho was.

That doesn't mean I love him or anything, it's just nice to know I'll always have a friend.

Totally.

I wonder what they're doing right now. What did Janson tell them? He did say something about Phase Two—

Oh my god. They're being thrown in the Scorch. I was supposed to come out here with Brenda and Jorge, but I was taken with the Familiars. Was I thrown out here to find Brenda and Jorge? And if Newt goes into the Scorch he'll get the Flare, right? But there has to be something I can do. Something to keep him out of Phase Two. Perhaps the Scorched City will have a phone I can use. I can call somebody. But who would I call?

" How does the Flare work? " I say and Nandini looks up at me, her eyebrows drawn together, " Like, Phase Two of the Trials is the Scorch. Would Newt get the Flare from simply being here? "

Nandini shakes her head and I nearly collapse with relief. " He would have to come into contact with someone who has it. "

Okay so if I just keep him away from Cranks we'll be fine. He'll be fine. But that would require me finding him, and the Scorch is a very vast place. And—well, Nandini is a Crank. Maybe they could talk and just not touch? I don't know. All I know is that I don't want Newt to die.

" He hasn't. " I say, then with a pointed look in her direction I add, " Not yet. "

" I don't want Newt to die either, Louisa. " She snaps, but then her voice softens, a certain amount of tiredness showing, " Why don't we just come to an agreement? "

" What sort of agreement? "

She stops walking, forcing me to stop. I have to squint when I look at her, due to the setting sun behind her. " I want to spend time with my brother. So do you. We both want to keep him from getting the Flare. So, when WICKED finishes the trials, can you promise you'll get me the cure first? I'll stay away from Newt until then, I promise. "

If it means saving Newt, I'd do anything.

" I can get you the cure. " I promise, holding my hand out for her to shake. She grabs it, her hand calloused and worn down, mine soft and baby-like. With a new agreement made, we resume the long trek to the Scorched City. Where I'll find a way to survive. Where I'll find a way for _us_ to survive.

When I turn around to check and see if there are any people or things following us, but I only see our footprints. Two sets, instead of one this time. The beginnings of a newly born team.

* * *

 **Please pardon any typos I was super excited to get this out because I have so much inspiration for this story thanks to a friend of mine. Also, huge character development this chapter. Louisa came to her senses. Finally. Also, kind of weird right? She just killed Newt's mom. How do you tell that to someone?**

 **Review Responses**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ I hope Lewt get's their crap together. Also, thanks, I hope I got the update out soon enough.**

 **mazerunner26 ~ Thank you! Newt is right, Louisa is right, they're both right. I hope one of them does something to fix this little issue of theirs.**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ I got another one up! I hope you like it.**

 **NorangeKat722 ~ yea, they are.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ Me too, and she's not with Brenda and Jorge _yet._**

 **End of review responses.**

 **My friend brought something up. She asked me if I shipped Lewt, or Minhlo because she shipped both. What do you guys ship? Both? Lewt? Minhlo? because I ship both and it might show in my writing.**

 **I'm going to go get started on the next chapter which, I will be writing in... NEWT'S POV! Yes, time to see how pissed he is at Louisa and how he's thinking now that she's gone. I'm going to have to read some of the book now, but that shouldn't be an issue.**

 **Have a nice day, night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to go do something else I'm not sure what yet.**


	13. Chapter 13

**This is just a looooonnnggg** **filler chapter to show you where the Gladers are with their trip. I ended it the day Nandini and Louisa spend resting their backs against a sand dune.**

 **Anyway, enjoy this chapter! :)**

* * *

That little bitch.

Louisa lied to me. She went behind my back and kept my sister from me. I asked her if she had any more secrets, and she said no. And like a fool I believed her. Why? Why would she keep my sister from me? She knows how valuable family is, knows what it's like to find them. That little girl, Nandini, out there in the cluster of Cranks, is my sister. She had a British accent, she had the right color eyes, and the same face. My sister is so close, yet so far. I had thought I was alone, didn't even let myself consider the possibility of a family.

And when she said it, " _It's me. I'm your sister. "_ I didn't believe it. I looked at Louisa, and she was staring at Nandini with hate and fear that I knew she knew Nandini. And then Nandini confirmed my suspicions by calling Louisa by her name. I heard about what happened in WICKED's basement. That Nandini was about to be tortured by Louisa, but Louisa killed the person from WICKED instead. Nandini told us that herself.

Basically, Louisa saved my sister, but she kept it a secret from me. I'm finding it really hard to get around that.

I'm finding it really hard to forgive her.

When Louisa's life was teetering on the edge of a blade, all I could do was think about how she kept my sister from me. I didn't think about the how petrified she was, or the fact that she had gotten cut. I didn't think about the things I should have. I can't help but feel a little guilty about it; I do love her after all. Minho was the one to comfort her. One second they're at each other's throats screaming about how they hate each other and the next he's taking her into his arms.

Whatever. Thinking about this is giving me a headache. My personal problems don't matter when the Gladers' lives are at stake. Now we know that Janson can't be trusted, but the best lies always have a bit of truth in them. So we just have to pick everything he says apart until we get the truth.

Thomas sits to my right, his head in his hands. One day he told me he felt like he knew Louisa, and that he couldn't shake the feeling. I wonder what their relationship was before the Maze? They were probably just friends. He could be like a brother to her. Or they could barely know each other. I don't know.

Aris was sitting over by the wall, leaning his back against it and staring at the floor. Louisa told me he knew about Reed, and then Minho told me she looked like a deer caught in the headlights when he went into the kitchen. Not only that but the shank is from Group B and Thomas is to be killed by Group B. I won't let that happen. No more of the Gladers are going to die.

Janson had been sitting at his desk, reading a book, completely ignorant to the bloody knife on his desk. A knife that had been covered with _her_ blood. Now, he's standing, and he pulls a densely packed folder out of the many drawers on the desk. It is full of messy papers, many of them bent or sticking out at odd angles. He places the folder on the desk, and looks at all of the Gladers.

" I believe you are missing one. " He says, and I glance around the room. Sure enough, Louisa isn't here.

" We can tell her later. Just get on with it. " I say coldly. Why does Louisa always run off? Of course, what I told her would've made me upset too. I practically implied that I didn't love her anymore. And then she said that the girl I love would do anything to protect me, even if it meant me hating her. Well, I don't hate her—I don't think I do, at least.

" Well then. " Janson claps his hands together, " Let's get started. "

" Why do you need that wall! " Minho yells, and I reach around Thomas and punch him.

" Shut it! "

Janson continued as if he hadn't heard the outburst. " You're all here because of an uncanny will to survive despite the odds, among….other reasons. I'm assuming you've figured this out by now, but many things happen to you solely for the purpose of judging and analyzing your responses. And yet it's not really an experiment as much as it is…. constructing a blueprint. Stimulating the kill zone and collecting the resultant patterns. Putting them all together to achieve the greatest breakthrough in the history of science and medicine. "

" So torturing Louisa was just to elicit a _reaction? "_ Minho hisses the words, but it's like he's talking to a wall. Janson shows no emotion, and continues talking as if Minho said nothing.

" These situations inflicted upon you are called Variables, and each one has been meticulously thought out. I'll explain more soon. And though I can't tell you everything at this time, it's vital that you know this much: these trials you're going through are for a very important cause. Continue to respond well to Variables, continue to survive, and you'll be rewarded with the knowledge that you've played a part in saving the human race. And yourselves, of course. "

" Louisa… She has always thought that all hope is lost. But she's wrong. The world may be ravaged by a disease called the Flare, but you all provide hope that a better future can be obtained. And you'll have every incentive to work with use because, sad to say, each one of you has already caught the virus. "

Louisa has the Flare. Did she know this? Is that why she was acting weird? The Gladers start to mutter their concerns, sending a wave of panic through everyone. _I_ have the Flare. If I don't cooperate with WICKED, I'll turn into one of those savages. Louisa will turn into one of those things outside the window.

" Now, now! No need to worry. The Flare takes a while to set in and show symptoms, but at the end of these trials the cure will be your reward. You'll never see the debilitating effects. Now many can afford the cure, you know? "

We definitely have the incentive we need to cooperate. Even though he tortured Louisa, even though he made our lives a living hell, we need him in order to survive.

Janson clears his throat. " Phase Two. The Scorch Trials. It officially begins tomorrow morning at six o' clock. You'll enter this room and in the wall behind me you will find a Flat Trans. To your eyes the Flat Trans will appear as a shimmering wall of gray. Each of you must step through it by five minutes after the hour. At that point, the Scorch Trials will have begun Find your way to open air, then head due north for one hundred miles. Make it to the safe haven within two weeks and you'll be cured of the Flare. If you don't make it, well, I'm sure the Cranks will have a fun time with you. It's simple really. Make it or die. "

The room erupts.

" What's a Flat Trans? "

" How'd we catch the Flare? "

" How long till we see symptoms? "

" What's at the end of the hundred miles? "

" What happened do the dead bodies? "

" Why did you hurt Louisa? "

" You shanks shut up! " Minho finally shouted. " This shuck face ain't answering, so quit wasting your time. " He then stood up, and started to walk away. " I'm going to go tell Louisa all this. "

When everybody turned their attention back to Janson, he was gone. It can't be as simple as he made it seem. If those Cranks outside the window were any sign of danger, then we're shucked. We'll be going into some desert with nothing but the clothes on our back. We can raid the kitchen and pack some stuff, and we'd need something to cover ourselves with. Perhaps we could use the sheets on the beds.

The Gladers start to get up and mill around, but Thomas stays seated. He's got his head in his hands again and his back his hunched over. I know how he feels. Despite what Louisa said, everyone had hoped that our lives would be somewhat normal. We'd go to school, have friends, and the world would be perfectly fine without us. But apparently, it's up to us to save mankind.

" Tommy, " I start to say, " you went through the changing, got some of your memories back. How much of this stuff do you remember? "

He shook his head. " I don't know. I can't picture the world outside very well, or what it was like to work with WICKED. Most of it's either faded, or just gone. "

I sigh. Louisa will help us through this. She knows more about WICKED than any of us. She knew not to trust Janson. Without her, we would be in a worse situation then we are now. We need her. It doesn't matter how she lied to me and deceived me. She can be the one to lead us to our freedom.

Just then, Minho bursts into the room, breathing hard with a look of panic on his face. I'm on my feet before I realize it.

" I can't find Louisa. " Minho says, " I've looked everywhere. "

" Are you sure? " I ask, and he nods. " The bathroom? "

" That would be rude Newt. " Minho says, and I shake my head at him.

Louisa's just in the bathroom. But the panic inside of me drives me to push past Minho, walk through the hallways and into the bathroom. There's no running water, and no sign of anybody in here. Just a note sitting on the floor. I bend down and pick it up, my heart beating faster and faster with each breath. She has to be okay. I haven't forgiven her yet. She can't die thinking I hate her, because I don't. I love her, more than anything. One mistake on her part can't make me hate her. It just makes me leery of her for a little bit—it makes me question my trust.

 **She's alive, for now.**

For now. That's not exactly comforting. She's survived so much, that it eases my mind. She won't go down without a fight, and every fight she's fought, she's won.

I walk back out into the hallway to find all the Gladers there, waiting with anticipation. I shake my head no, and Minho punches the wall in frustration, then turns his glare on me.

" If you hadn't set her off, she would't have left. " Then he takes a deep breath, " If she dies, it's your fault. "

And I would feel guilty about it for the rest of my life.

" Let's just prepare for tomorrow, " I say, dropping my head. " It's all we can do. "

We started gathering supplies and putting them in the main room. Food, blankets, canteens full of water. But the entire time I was thinking of Louisa. I had made her mad; I had caused her to leave the group. If I hadn't, she would be here. If she _dies,_ it will be _my_ fault.

That's all that's on my mind as I go to sleep that night.

….

I wake up at five as an alarm resonates throughout the building. Everyone is groggily standing, stretching their stiff muscles. Minho rolls over, falling off of his bunk, which is on the top. He lands in the floor with a loud thud and a groan, and despite the depressing aura that fills the room, I laugh along with the other Gladers.

" Shut up. " He opens one eye to glare at me. I shrug and stand, stepping over his dead body as I make my way to the showers. A couple of other Gladers seem to have the same idea, because they're headed in the same direction. Who knows how long it will be before we get the chance to shower again? There probably aren't any facilities in the Scorch that would allow us to shower. It's not that I mind stinking, I would just prefer not to.

After I take a nice, hot shower I sit in the main room and wait for everyone to finish getting ready. We managed to get a lot of stuff together-well as much as we could carry. One person's going to be carrying a sack of apples, another will be carrying the canteens, and another will be carrying oranges and bananas. Canned food will be split among the rest of us, and we'll each carry our own thing of water. I just hope it doesn't evaporate. At least we're going into these Trials with our memory and some sort of preparation.

The fluorescent lights flicker as more Gladers file into the room. They grab their things and sit down as a shimmering wall starts to come into vision, and I know it's the Flat Trans.

" Everybody sure they still wanna go? " Minho asks as he stands, moving in front of the Flat Trans. Everyone nods. " Nobody changed their mind overnight? Speak now or never. Once we go we're going, if some shank decides he's a sissy pants and tries to turn back, I'll make sure it's with a broken nose and smashed privates. "

I put my head in my hands and groan. Some leader he is. If I didn't know him I'd say he smash our faces in no matter what.

" Newt, you got a problem? " Minho ask, his voice as sharp as a knife.

I lift my head, " Just admiring your bloody leadership skills. "

Minho just narrowed his eyes at me then turned his head towards the Flat Trans. " I'll go first. " He took a deep breath, " Thomas you go last and make sure everyone is there. "

Thomas nods even though Minho can't see him. Minho takes one step, and disappears. The Flat Trans is like a shadow that dances as the lights above us flicker. I watch as Thomas herds them all through, one by one, until it's just him, Aris, and me. They stare at each other for a while, and I feel a surge of annoyance. Can't they pick some other time to communicate telepathically?

" Hurry. " Thomas mutters, pushing Aris through. " We gotta hurry. "

Swallowing my fear, I step into the Flat Trans, letting the murkiness of it swallow me whole. A distinct coldness passes through me, sending a shiver down my spine. I expect the blackness to lighten up, and I keep walking until I walk into Aris. I mutter an apology, and take a step back just as Thomas walks into me. He mutters his apology before Minho speaks up.

" Was that you Thomas? " He asks, the voice coming from far ahead. " Is everyone here? "

" Yea! " Thomas replies.

" Good that. " Minho says, " Let's go. "

We set off through the darkness. My eyes never adjust, and it bothers me. It's as if I'm walking with my eyes closed, no sense of anything around me. I run into Aris a few times and Thomas runs into me occasionally, the only sign that some one else is here with me. The air is cool, but it smells of old leather and dust. The tunnel never turns left or right, and it feels like it's stretching on forever. We walk, for minutes, hours, days... Who knows how long? It's easy to lose your bearings when you can't see anything.

Whispering starts to fill the air. It sounds old and nasally, like a sick elderly person. Then the whispering ceases, and everyone instinctually stops. From somewhere ahead Minho shouts, " Did you guys hear that? "

A couple of the Gladers murmur yes, and not a minute later the harsh voice starts to whisper again, echoing through the air as if there were speakers on the ceiling. I don't catch what it says, but it's obvious a couple of the other Gladers do because they gasp, as if shocked by what they'd heard.

" Did anybody catch what it said? " I ask when the whispering stops.

" Couple of words. " Winston replies from somewhere in front of me. " Sounded like ' go back'"

" Yea, it did. " Frypan agrees.

" Everybody slim it and listen real hard this time. " Minho says and we lapse into silence. The next time the voice came, I'm pretty sure everyone understood what it said.

" _One-chance deal. Go back now and you won't be sliced. "_

My blood runs cold.

" Sliced?" Minho echoes the voice. " I prefer to keep my innards inside, thank you very much. "

" He said we could go back! " Someone yells.

" We can't trust some shank whispering in the dark. " Clint says.

" Just keep going! " Thomas shouts from behind me, " I can't take this much longer. Just go! "

" Wait a minute! " This time it was Frypan talking. " He said this was a one-chance deal. We should at least consider it. "

" Yeah, " Winston adds, " Maybe we should go back. "

" The voice is just a test, I bet. We need to keep going. " Thomas says, and I nod even though no one could see me. Louisa would agree. Actually, she probably would've sprinted through here and towards the other side once she heard that voice. Better to take our chances out there, than with WICKED. I'd personally rather die by a nice clean slice, rather than whatever gruesome death awaits us back in that building.

" He's right. " Minho says, " Come on, let's go. "

He barely got the last word out when the whispering voice permeates the air again, this time with an almost childish hatred.

" _Dead. You're all dead. Dead and sliced. Just like that girl. "_

What girl? Surely he can't be talking about Louisa. The Flat Trans never opened before this morning, and there's no way she could've gotten here—where ever here is. Are we underground? That's most likely the case. Not only that, but, it's probably just another test. Something meant to throw us off. We resume walking, pushing the haunting voice out of our minds. Then I hear something whiz by, and a scream. The scream was more of shock at first, but then it morphed into pure terror.

Thomas pushes past me, running towards the screaming boy. I follow not a second later, fear draining into my bloodstream. I hear someone thrashing on the ground, and a hand flies out and hits my leg. I nearly fall, but I throw my hand out and, luckily, it hits a wall and I'm able to balance myself.

" Stop! " Thomas shouts, " What's— "

The boy on the ground stops thrashing, and Thomas stops talking.

" What happened? " Minho yells, and the coppery smell of blood fills the air.

" S-someone's, " Thomas starts, but has to take a deep breath before he can finish, " Someone's dead. "

My stomach drops to my feet. I told myself I wasn't going to let any of the Gladers die, and now another one has.

" Everybody say their name! " I yell, and they list of their names, one by one: Aris, Frypan, Thomas, Minho, Clint, me.

No Winston.

Winston's dead.

" How did he die? " Frypan asks, a hint of sadness in his tone.

" Decapitation. " Thomas says, his voice shaking. " It's like some metal ball wrapped itself around his head, "

Just then we hear another ball whiz by, and I yell, " Everyone run! "

They hardly even waited for me to get the sentence out. Everyone takes off at a sprint, trying to avoid the ball of death. I keep running. My limp slows me down, but not enough to keep me from keeping up with everyone. Soon enough harsh breathing fills the air, and, gradually, the pace slows down. Then Minho yells from up ahead. My heart lurches into my throat, thinking that one of the metal things got him, and everyone slows to a stop.

" Why'd we stop? " Frypan asks, panting hard just like the rest of us.

" Because I broke my shucking shins on something up here. I think it's a stairwell. "

A way out. Minho runs up the steps, and we follow, eager to get out of this darkness, to see some sort of light. I stumble a couple of times, hitting my knee on the next step, but I don't stay down long. I hear a thud, and then Minho groans. The clang of metal, a hissing sound, a bright light. I groan and shield my eyes, just like everyone else. But then the hatch closes and I'm left seeing white spots in the darkness. I rub my eyes in an attempt to make them go away, but stubbornly, they stay.

" Anybody blind? " Minho asks, " Because I feel like my eyeballs are roasted marshmallows. "

" Let's just open the hatch a little and let everyone get used to it. "

" Good idea. " Minho says, then lets a little bit flight it. It still makes my eyes hurt, just not as bad as the first time. After a little while he opens it a little more, then a little more, until eventually the hatch is open all the way.

" It's now or never. " He mumbles as he climbs out. I follow everyone, squinting and fearing for my life. Those balls of death could come back any time. The sooner we get out and close the hatch the better.

As soon as I step out there I want to go back into the cool air of the hallway. I feel like the sun is already burning my skin. I look around, past the Gladers, and at the desert we are in. There's nothing but sand, sun, and more sand. There are buildings looming in the distance, but they seem so small, so minuscule. They have to be days away.

" We have to cover ourselves. " I say, and I take the bedsheets out of the bag I had brought. There are only only three, so two people per sheet. I end up sharing with Thomas, and with one last supply check we started walking north. Which happened to be the direction of the city.

All the Scorch is, is sand, heat, sun, and apparently, a ruined city.

Where ever Louisa is, I hope it's far from here—somewhere cool and safe.

* * *

 **HAahaha that last sentence tho.**

 **Sorry for any typos or if anything doesn't make sense. I wrote this 3800 word chapter in one sitting and now my eyes are burning and my fingers are cramping.**

 **I followed the book very strictly in this chapter, save for Winston's death. I didn't really think this chapter is all that good. Let me know what you think!**

 **Second chapter this weekend btw. I'm on a roll!**

 **Time to go work on my Adventure Time fanfic. I'm going to finish the second chapter of that before I start Chapter 14 of this story. So next chapter out Wednesday hopefully.**

 **I'll be posting the Adventure time fic December first if any of you want to check it out. It's alternate universe, so you really don't have to know anything about Adventure Time to enjoy it. I'll post the summary of it on the author's note of the next chapter.**

 **Have a good day, night, evening, morning, afternoon! I'm going to go write another chapter of another story. BYEEEE**


	14. Chapter 14

**so, just a tip. Halfway through this chapter the POV changes to Nandini, but back to Louisa after that. You'll know when you read it.**

* * *

It's official. I hate the sun.

First it decides to scorch the earth and take out half of our forests. Then it decides to cause a virus to spread—one that has wiped out a large chunk of the human population. And now, it's slowly killing me.

My skin passed pink a long time ago. Now as I look down at my arm, it's a light shade of red with pus-filled blisters popping up. If I so much as touch one of them, it bursts then starts to burn. It doesn't matter if I only travel at night and cover my skin when I'm sleeping during the day. I still feel like a burnt chicken. I probably look like one too.

If I don't die of thirst or hunger, and manage to survive the Scorch, skin cancer will set in later and kill me then.

Perfect.

" We need water. " Nandini says for the billionth time tonight. She doesn't have to remind me. Every time I open my mouth to speak a plume of dry air sucks the moisture out of my mouth. It's even worse when you consider the fact that I haven't had water since I got left out here. Our chances of survival are looking slimmer and slimmer. But I won't give up. I refuse to give up.

I nod my head, but slow to a stop when I see something. Buildings are looming in the distance. They are tall and ruined; half of them lean to one side, making them look like they could fall over at any moment. This must be the Scorched City. If I have to travel any further than that, I'll pass out from exhaustion and lack of nutrition. I have two days left at the most if I don't find water. If I find water, but no food I'll last a little longer. If I find both I'd think I died and went to heaven.

Wait, murderers don't go to heaven.

I'd sigh if I had the energy.

" That's the Scorched City. " Nandini says, casting a glance at me. I look at her, wondering how she can muster the energy to talk. Perhaps she's just gotten use to operating on little food. I've always been fed and protected; she's always been out here suffering and barely surviving. Never living.

" It's where WICKED found us. "

" What? " My voice comes out raw and scratchy. She combs her fingers through her hair, and braids it to the side before answering.

" Newt and I were born there. " She seems to zone out, lost in another memory when her family was together. " I was so happy when WICKED found us. We hadn't eaten in days, and the water was running low. They came in with fresh food and so much water. "

Her voice takes on that tone I've come to recognize over the past couple of days: wistful.

" They tested all of us, saying they'd only take us if we weren't infected. Newt was the only one who was clean. He begged to stay with us, but mom and dad wouldn't let him. I wanted him to stay. Oh, I wanted him to stay so badly. I knew dad was losing his mind, and so was mom. I saw it in their eyes. I _needed_ Newt to stay. But as I watched him leave, I let myself think he would have a nice life. Free of the Flare. And suddenly I was glad to watch him go. "

Newt's past. I never let myself think about it. In my mind, all of our lives started when we got to WICKED. Nobody ever thinks about what happened before WICEKD. The Familiars can't even remember what happened before the Maze. Suddenly, it feels wrong to hear about Newt's past when he doesn't even know himself.

" Then dad went missing and mom lost her mind. Last year I felt the smallest inkling of the Flare taking root in my mind, slowly twisting my emotions. I knew I had to find Newt before I completely lost it. If not to see him then just to tell him goodbye. To tell him that I loved him. "

Why is she sharing her life story with me? Is this a sign of trust? Or is the Flare digging deeper in her mind, and she wants someone to know? Someone to tell Newt?

" Promise me, Louisa. " She says, grabbing my arm. When she looks into my eyes, I see my own ragged face reflected in hers. My fears, my worries, my concerns. " Promise me that if I lose it you'll kill me. "

" What? No. I can't. " I say, shaking my head. I don't care if she just told me her life story. I will not kill any other people. Especially not Newt's sister.

" Please. " She begs, " I don't want to hurt anyone. Not like my mom, and not like my dad. "

I have to take a deep breath. It causes my throat to hurt and burn, and my eyes would've watered if they could have.

Killing Nandini if she completely loses it. I can't do that. But I'll promise it because it won't get to that. I'll get her the cure she deserves. Then I'll help WICKED distribute it around the world, to so many people like her with the same struggles. I may not agree with WICKED's methods, but if it ends up with a cure, I'll give it to the people. I'll give it to her and I won't have to kill her.

" I promise. "

What was it that I said one time? About promises I couldn't keep. Oh yea, it was _I can't make promises if I don't know whether or not I'll be able to keep them._ It was right after I had gotten raped, and ran into the Maze to get Griever serum. Newt had thought I was going to kill myself, and made me promise I wouldn't. I've managed to keep that promise so far, but this new one is so much more heavier. It's not about my life; it's about a thirteen year old girl's life.

She nods and we continue walking on our path to the Scorched City. The past two days that we've spent walking in the same direction have been pure and utter hell. The bite in my leg and the cut on my back throb with every step. I ripped part of my shirt off to bind my leg and prevent it from bleeding, but it soaked right through the thin fabric. Now, not only am I missing part of my shirt but I have a bloody rag wrapped around my leg. At least it keep some of the dirt from getting into it, but if I don't get a clean bandage soon….

" Why did you tell me about what happened before WICKED? " I ask, needing to take my mind off of the bite. Learning about Newt's past can't hurt anything, right?

She just shrugs.

I hear a bark, and I take up a defensive stance. I never learned how to defend myself against animals, but Cranks are nearly the same. They both want to kill me. They both just want to survive—or at least I think that's what Cranks want. I don't know what goes on inside their heads.

I turn in a circle, looking for the source of the bark when I see Nandini. She's looking behind me with a hopeful look on her face, not like something is about to kill her. Maybe she hopes it will kill her. Wait, no. She wants to see Newt, so she shouldn't want to die. Then why—

My thoughts are interrupted as I'm tackled from behind. A rough paw pushes against the cut, sending a sharp pain through my back and stomach. I grit my teeth. This thing has to weigh over a hundred pounds. I feel like I'm going to be squashed as I wait for the creature to bite me, but it never happens. Instead I feel it lick the back of my neck, causing it to tickle. I laugh and Nandini moves the dog off of me.

" Lexi, no. " Nandini scolds the large dog, but then her face melts into happiness as she drops to her knees and brings the dog to her chest. " Oh, I thought I'd lost you! "

The dog—Lexi apparently—licks Nandini's face. Nandini buries her face in the dog's matted golden fur, but the only thing I can think of is how hot the sand must be under her legs. They're probably burning. I know my butt burns when I sit down, sometimes so much I have to stand. But Nandini doesn't even seem to notice it as she reunites with an old friend.

I can't stop the slow smile from spreading across my face.

" This is Lexi, " Nandini mumbles into the dog's fur, " She's been with me since Newt got taken. "

That dog has to be at least ten or eleven. Nandini probably formed a special bond with the dog in Newt's absence. I have to let it come with us, even though it's another thing to feed, hydrate, and keep safe. We could always just—

NOPE. I won't do that to a dog. It would make me no better than a Crank.

" We should rest here. " I say as I look at the orange sun rising over the horizon, painting the sky different colors. Purple, pink, yellow and blue. It's a beauty that I've seen a lot recently. In the Maze we never saw anything like this, so each and every time I see it, I appreciate it. And each time, I wish Newt could see it too. I'm hoping, that by some miracle, the Familiars are still in that building, eating food and laughing. I'm hoping they're safe.

" I'll take the first watch. " Nandini says, as usual. I nod as I plop down in the sand and lay down. I feel like I'm being baked and the sun has barely risen. My head is pounding from dehydration, and my limbs feel heavy. The world has been spinning faster lately—or at least that's what it feels like. Every morning I don't know if I'll be able to fall asleep in this unbearable heat, but I always do. But each day my condition worsens, never improving.

Now, as I force myself to drift into a land restless sleep, I wonder if I'll ever wake up again.

….

Louisa is finally asleep. She laid there for a good thirty minutes before her chest started rising and falling steadily. She probably wonders why I always take the first watch. I just like to watch the sun rise. It reminds me of the days I spent with my family in that run-down building. Everyday we watched the sun rise and listened to the screaming of Cranks die down. They don't like the sun all that much, or at least not the ones past the Gone. The sun doesn't bother me.

Lexi lays down in the sand next to me. I inspect her for cuts, or anything that might signal that she's hurt, but she's fine. I let out a breath of relief. If Lexi were hurt… I don't think I'd be able to lose her twice. Just like I did with my mom.

My mom's face is constantly in my mind, raw and growling at me. _Growling._ Humans aren't supposed to growl like deranged animals. They aren't supposed to attack their daughters that run into their arms, crying tears of relief. I thought my mom had died. When I saw her standing there, so far away from civilization and anything, really, I had hoped that she had gotten away and the Flare had decelerated. I let myself hope for the first time in years, and I got crushed because of it.

I should expect the worst. That way I'm either right and not disappointed or wrong and pleasantly surprised.

If Louisa hadn't come over that sand dune and tackled my mom, I don't know what would've happened. I froze when my mom attacked me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't hurt her. Because in my mind, the woman that was attacking me still cared for me deep down. Somewhere in that crazed mind, she loved me. I want to believe that. But even I know that's not true.

And now she's dead. There's no hope of her ever getting rid of the Flare.

I'm still pissed at Louisa for that.

She broke my mom's neck and killed her without thinking twice about it. Without considering the consequences. She has to pay for what she's done. I don't care how much Newt loves her. I don't care if she did save my life. She deserves to have her neck broken just like my mom did. I just have to make her trust me, then lure her into a trap.

I laugh.

This is going to be fun.

….

I wake up shivering. The sweat against my skin has gone cold instead of the blistering hot it normally is. The coldness of it would feel good if I didn't feel so sick.

Oh well.

I struggle to get to my feet. Nandini is lying a couple of feet away, sleeping away. She forgot to wake me up. I don't blame her. We're both exhausted and we both need rest. I can let it slide, just this one time. Mainly because she had a dog that would bark if a Crank came near us. But even the dog is sleeping. In fact, I think she's snoring.

I distribute my weight evenly between my two legs, delighted to find that my right leg can still support me. It's weak, just like every other muscle in my body, but it still works. Good enough for me. I just need to keep walking, and maybe I'll be safe one of these days.

I look up at the city, the sun setting to my right. It's beautiful, but I know why we couldn't see sooner. There aren't any lights. In fact, the city looks dead. More like a graveyard than a city. Dark and foreboding. Certainly not the lit and welcoming that I was hoping for. If this is one of the only cities in the Scorch… Then we're screwed. This may be where Nandini spends most of her time, but it's not where I would care to spend mine.

But it's the closest thing to shelter within a five mile radius. I'm stuck going to an abandoned city. Maybe there are small groups of people there that would help us. Supply us with food or water. From what Nandini told me earlier, it seems highly unlikely. Food and water are probably the currency in that city. The people that have the most are either in hiding, or the most popular and looked-up too.

" Get up Nandini, " I say while bending down with a wince and poking her. " I want to reach that city before the sun rises. "

She groggily opens one eye and glances at the city. " Too far. " She mumbles.

" I have to get back to the Familiars as soon as possible. We're leaving now. " I stand and wince again when the world starts to sway. I haven't looked at the bite since I wound the bandage around it. I should probably check, later. Because right now I have to get to that city and ask people if they know of any facilities nearby that have been housing a group of kids. Then I'll make my way back to the Familiars and we'll survive the second Trials together.

I start to walk away from Nandini. The sound of someone yawning and a stretching dog fill the air. I slow my walk as she trudges next to me while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her dog in tow. I knew she would follow me. Maybe she's starting to get attached to me.

" We can make it. I know we can. " I say, turning my head and smiling at her. She smiles back and the dog nudges my hand. I rub it's head as it's tail wags and Nandini starts to talk.

" I know too. We'll get to where ever we're going, and even further. We'll survive. " The smile on her face grows and I can't help but think:

I wouldn't mind having a little sister.

* * *

 **I am loving writing this so much. Once again, special thanks to swagmaster5000 for reading this before I put it up, and giving me feedback.**

 **What did you guys think? I was a little disappointed in the length, but that's not that big of a deal.**

 **I'm stuck. I don't know who's POV to write in next chapter. Louisa's? Or Minho's? What do you think?**

 **I was reading Fighting Against You earlier, and I realized how much has happened to Louisa and I felt guilty for what I put her through. But then I realized that it was important for her character and I was like never mind. I also really wish that Fighting Against You was written better. I'll go back and revise it someday.**

 **Ok so about the Adventure Time fanfic, I don't have a summary of it yet. Every single one I write just doesn't seem good. I'll get there eventually.**

 **I am super tired. Have a good day, night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to sleep.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Shortest chapter I've written in a while. This is really just a filler to show you where the Gladers are at in their adventure.**

* * *

Just up ahead, a dark figure steps out form behind a building, hair flowing behind her like a shadow. Common sense tells me that the person's hair is too dark. The other part of me is telling me it's Louisa, and that she's okay, and alive, and not dead. But common sense wins out as I see the hope on Thomas' face.

" You think it's Teresa? " Newt asks, sending a sidelong glance at Thomas. The figure does look like Teresa. It's not that I don't like Teresa, I do. It's just, I _love_ Louisa. Is it a bad thing to hope that she's okay and standing in front of us instead of Teresa?

I shake the thoughts off. Louisa will be okay, but she doesn't love me. I know she doesn't. She doesn't look at me the same way she looks at Newt. When they got into that argument, I saw the look on her face when Newt practically said he didn't love her. I could almost hear her heart cracking inside her chest. Newt should appreciate Louisa, especially considering all she's been through. She needs someone to be there for her, even if it's just a friend. I mean, she lost her family. Then she saw them hanging from the ceiling. Nobody deserves to be left alone after seeing that. And now, she's gone.

" No clue. " Thomas says, but I can see that he wants it to be her.

I clap my hands together. " Okay, then, who wants to go meet this nice young lady? " I ask, trying to keep everything lighthearted.

" I'll do it, " Thomas says, a bit loudly.

" I was just kidding shuck-face. Let's all go over there. " I glance at the building, " She could have an army of psycho girl ninjas hiding in that shack of hers. "

" Psycho girl ninjas? " Newt repeats, an edge in his voice. He's been like this ever since he found out he has a sister. I honestly wished he'd never found out. Then Louisa wouldn't have stormed off, gotten taken, and she's alone somewhere thinking about Newt and what he's done to her. What if she's being tortured again?

" Yeah, let's go. " I start walking forward. I really just want to see if it's Louisa or not.

" No! " Thomas raises his voice and I stop walking, " No. You guys stay here—I'll go talk to her. Maybe it's a trap. We'd be idiots to walk right into it. "

" And you aren't an idiot for wanting to waltz over their by yourself? " I ask, just to tease Thomas. I'll let him go by himself on certain conditions, but the reason why he wants to go is so obvious that it's funny he's trying to hide it.

" Well, we can't just walk on by without checking it out. I'll go and call for help if anything happens . "

I pause and think about it for a long moment. " All right, go. Our brave little shank. " I whack Thomas on the back and he stumbles forward.

" This is bloody stupid, " Newt takes a step forward, " I'll go with him. "

" No! " Thomas snaps, " Just. . . let me do this. Something tells me I need to be careful. If I cry like a baby, come save me. "

Before anyone could object he takes off in a fast walk towards the building and the girl. Then I turn to Newt and glare at him.

" Did you think it might be Louisa? " I snap, " Is that why you wanted to go? You don't deserve to see her. Not after what you did. "

" I didn't do anything! " He raises his voice, then lowers it as he realizes who could be listening in from that shack over there. " She lied to me. "

" To protect you! Did you not hear her say that? "

" I heard her loud and clear. " Newt growls, and I resist the urge to punch him. If he knows she did it do protect him then why would he still be pissed at her? " What would you do if she lied to you? "

" I don't know. She never has. "

Hurt flashes across his face but he quickly masks it with his rage.

" I just don't get it, " I say, " If she loves you, then why would you hurt her like you did? "

" I didn't hurt her. She's fine. She always is. " Newt crosses his arms over his chest, and I'm baffled by how oblivious he is. How could he think that? Louisa has never been okay. She's barely managed to scrape by with her life. I was selfish when I was in the Maze. Then she came along, and I felt like I would give anything to make her happy. I didn't even know her. She said that the first time we met, I called her fat and she punched me. I don't doubt that actually happened. I don't know what happened after that, but if I was mean to her, I regret it. That means Newt should feel guilty for what he did.

" Guys. Shut up, " Frypan says, " Louisa doesn't need either of you. She's perfectly capable of handling herself. "

He…. he has a point.

" Personally, I wouldn't blame her if she got herself to safety and left us, " Aris butts in on our conversation, " Her mom had a high standing in WICKED. Maybe she'd take her spot. "

" And how do you know this? " I ask.

He shrugs and kicks the sand. " I have my sources. "

I don't trust this shank. He knows something that he's not telling us. How does he know so much about Louisa? It's kind of disturbing actually. It's like he's a stalker. Maybe Aris has his memories and remembers Louisa from before the Maze. But every time she looked at him fear flashed across her face. It kind of reminded me of the way she looked at Reed. If Aris is doing the same thing Reed was I'll knock his fucking teeth down his throat.

Newt is about to say something when Thomas comes sprinting out of the shack, shoulders shaking. I expect him to run towards us, but all he does is sprint towards the ruined city. With a frustrated growl I take off at a sprint, knowing the Gladers will follow me. What the hell does this shuck-face think he's doing? You don't run away from the others. He should know that by now.

My lungs start to burn from breathing in the dry air. I might have inhaled some sand. All I know is my face is sunburnt and I'm a little thirsty. I'm thankful that we grabbed water and food from that facility. I can't imagine being out here without it. I haven't seen anything that you could eat. Not even a lizard. This place would be devoid of life if it weren't for the Cranks. I don't even know if those would count as living.

I expect Thomas to stop when he gets pretty far away, but he keeps running. I briefly wonder what's wrong with him, but I shake the thoughts off and focus on keeping my footing in the sand.

He doesn't stop running for two hours.

….

" What the hell you stupid shank! " I yell when Thomas finally comes to a stop. We ran for the rest of the morning, the torrential sun beating down on our backs. Even with the sheets wrapped around us, I can feel the sunburn creeping up on my arms. Everybody else looks just as bad.

" Sorry, I just… " He trails off, and I feel my face flush with anger.

" You just what? " I ask, " You left us to run after your dumb ass, not knowing what's going on! "

I gesture to the Gladers, who are panting and hunched over. Their legs are shaking from the extra effort they put in. They aren't used to running like that.

" It was Teresa. " Thomas says, and I feel the last hope I had that it might have been Louisa crumble. Would it have been that bad if it were Louisa? No, it would've been better.

I hate myself for thinking that.

" And? " Newt manages to get out.

Thomas just shrugs. His eyes are bloodshot and red, and the tiniest bit swollen. What happened in that shack? I decide not to press it. Instead, I sit down in the sand.

" We might as well take a break. If we keep going at the rate we're going we'll reach that city tomorrow. " People follow my example and sit down. They reach inside their packs and get water and food. I'm surprised the water hasn't evaporated yet. The water must not be able to escape the containers we put them in. I grab an apple and take a bite, savoring the juiciness of it. For the hundredth time today, I wonder what Louisa is doing. Is she laughing and smiling? Or is she screaming and crying out for someone to help her? Is she with Group B?

I really hope she isn't in the Scorch. She would've been dumped out here without any food or water knowing WICKED. There wasn't any food or water missing from the kitchen when we got stuff together, so she didn't take any. If she's out here, she's probably on the brink of death. We're suffering and we have food and water. For her survival, I hope she's anywhere but here.

" What are we going to do once we get to the city? " Clint asks before peeling an orange.

" We look for WICKED officials. "

" And what about the Cranks? "

" We fight them. Just like we did the Grievers. " I say with a shrug. Cranks seem scary, but so were the Grievers. We faced them easily enough. Even Louisa survived with them in the Maze for a week. If she can handle that, then we can handle a couple of crazy people. There's no room for doubt or fear. We have to be brave, or we risk death.

" But—" Frypan starts, but I interrupt him.

" Are you guys going to start complaining like a bunch of sissies? " I say, " Because Louisa wouldn't complain. She would do anything for her survival. Even if it meant risking her life and facing a bunch of shuck Cranks. "

They all look at me like I'm crazy.

" Don't look at me like that. It's just sad when a girl is tougher than you lot. "

They all look down at their hands because it's true. Louisa is strong whether she knows it or not. Everybody respects her for that.

" He's right. " Newt says, rummaging around in his bag for something, " You all thought girls were supposed to be the weak ones—the ones that need to be protected. But they're not. The two that I've met have been the strongest shanks I've ever met. They put up with all of our crap and they always seem to find a way to survive, even without us. "

There's a hint of sadness in his tone, and I resist the urge to scoff. Sure he feels that way. That's why he keeps pushing Louisa. She isn't invincible. One day she's going to be pushed to far, and she'll break.

" She's not even here and she's still interfering with you're lives. " Aris says while shaking his head. I glare at him then turn my attention back to the half-eaten apple in my hand.

" It's because she influenced us so much in the Glade. She may not have helped us escape, but she made us feel like anything was possible when she survived a week in the Maze. " Frypan says with a light laugh. " She's faced death so many times he's probably an old friend. I don't know about you shanks, but that seems inspiring enough to me. "

Everybody falls silent after that, Frypan's words echoing in our minds. It's sad that Louisa's almost died so many times, but it just makes her a survivor. Just like us. We faced our fears every day in that damned Maze. Why can't we do the same thing here? It's just another Trial. We will survive. We always will.

" Let's go, " I say, deciding that we've had a long enough break. " I'd like to reach that city as soon as possible. "

We stand; everybody gets under their sheets. Nobody complains and nobody whines. Good. Maybe now they'll feel motivated to get something done.

As I look towards the city that's broken, I know I'll survive. I don't need petty insults to get me determined.

I simply want to survive.

* * *

 **I hope that was good enough. In my opinion, it wasn't that bad, but it also wasn't that good. I just got excited thinking about the next few chapters, especially the next two or three or six. I've got quite a few planned out.**

 **{ Review Responses }**

 **NorangeKat722 ~ Thank you. Your story just needs more detail, thats it. It's got a really good concept. Also, thank you so much! I have a plan to get the book I'm writing self-published.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ I agree actually. It's just Nandini's immaturity shining through right now.**

 **Guest, AKA Swagmaster5000 ( yes I knew it was you even before you messaged me ) ~ pterodactyl noises are different. But cool.**

 **{ End of Review Responses }**

 **GUESS WHAT? I finished the summary for that Adventure Time Fic. Here it is:**

 **Fionna's life has some sense of normalcy. She has a job, an apartment, and friends. Then her brother shows up, asking questions and tempting her to join him. Each time she refuses, but what happens when he threatens the lives of her closest friends and new found acquaintance, Marshall Lee? Will she give in, or stay true to her humanity?**

 **Check that out December 1st if you want to. It's AU, so the plot of the actual TV show has no influence on it.**

 **I'm going to go get started on a chapter. I don't know which story yet, but it will probably be this one. Sorry for the okay chapter, but it needed to go out. I'm sorry.**

 **Have a good day, evening, night, morning, afternoon!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Most of this chapter is a memory. Also, I apologize in advance for the way I ended this chapter.**

* * *

My steady walk has turned into a limp. I've walked with a limp before, so I didn't notice it until Nandini pointed it out, but now that I know it seems too obvious. It's constantly there, reminding me of the injury on my leg. Before I just ignored it, pretending that everything was okay. But now I'm constantly reminded that I'm hurt and at risk. There's also a burning sensation in my back. Paired with the chills that are going down my spine, I feel like someone is holding a match to the wound on my back and dumping ice down my shirt at the same time.

It does not feel good.

I curse Janson for cutting my back and then throwing me out here in the Scorch. I don't doubt he knew I was going got be out here not ten minutes after he did that. He could have at least shown a little mercy and given me water. My mom always told me I was important to the Trials, so shouldn't they value their prized subject a little more?

Or maybe it's my death that's important to them.

I resist the urge to laugh. Even death would be a mercy by now.

" Are you okay? " Nandini asks, looking over at me. We're about a mile or two from the city now—so close to safety. Or what I'm hoping is safety. " You look a little pale. "

" I'm fine. " The words scratch my throat trying to come out, like I've inhaled sand. How is Nandini fine? How is she not nearly falling over with exhaustion? My legs are shaking right now and I'm so lightheaded. My head pounds with each step, making me think that there's a monster stuck inside of me trying to claw it's way out. The further I walk the worse it gets. Just one drop of water would help.

Don't even mention the hunger. I've always loved food, and now I've gone days without it. I have nearly no energy, making my body feel like an empty husk. I feel like my insides are eating themselves. The growl disappeared a long time ago. Now it's just an ache—a vast container of emptiness.

" No, you're not. " Nandini sends me a pointed look, and I would've stuck my tongue out at her if I had the energy. " We should take a break. "

" No. " I say. At the rate we're going we'll reach the city by sun-up. We can find someone that might offer a hand to help.

" You aren't going to find any help there. "

Well that's a mood killer.

" They are all Cranks. Sent here by WICKED because they want to try and contain the virus until they get a cure. "

" But there are still supplies, right? " The hope is blatantly obvious in my voice. Even a can of beans would be heavenly. Just give me something to fill me up.

" Yea, but they are going to be hard to find. "

The city is probably where Brenda and Jorge are. If I find them, they could help me. Us. They wouldn't shun Nandini. They're both immune so Nandini couldn't give them the Flare. I considered Brenda my friend. You can't turn a friend away when they're sick and dying.

Wait. Does Brenda know Noah is….dead? If she doesn't—I don't want to be the one to deliver that message. I've barely come to terms with it myself.

Oh my god what if she didn't survive the raid at WICKED headquarters? What if she's dead? There would be nope hope out here for me. Maybe Nandini has connections and can get us supplies. But Brenda. Dead. I had hoped that by some miracle she would be alive.

No, I can't jump to conclusions. The only way to find out is to march into that city and see what happens. We'll probably die, but that's something I can live with.

At least we'd be with our families.

A splitting headache echoes throughout my skull—even worse than the one I had before. My steps falter and I fall to my knees as the world starts to sway. _No, no, no. Not now._ Nausea hits me like a punch to the stomach and black spots swim across my vision.

" Are you okay? " Nandini drops to her knees next to me. She eyes the look on my face and panic flashes across hers, " What's wrong? "

I try to force the words, ' This is normal, ' out, but it doesn't happen.

I fall face first into the sand and lose my grip on reality.

….

 _That stupid kid Minho is at it again. He's arguing with another one of the kids—Reed I think. They both look like they're about ready to start throwing their food at each other. It would be such a waste of food to have them do that. Don't that know that there are people in the world starving?_

 _Minho's hand snakes towards the spaghetti on his plate as he yells at Reed, spit flying from his mouth. The scientists don't pay any attention to them. This happens daily. But if Minho starts a food fight…. Our privileges would be revoked for a month! He would be sentenced to construct the Maze instead of just studying. The rest of us wouldn't be able to leave our rooms because of his bad behavior. It would be horrible!_

 _I'm up and moving before I realize what I'm doing._

 _Only, I'm too late._

 _I'm in front of Minho just as the spaghetti leaves his hand. I manage to dodge it and it hits Reed right in the face, making sauce splatter across his cheek. He stands there for a moment, shell-shocked, and then he grabs a handful of mac n' cheese and throws it a Minho, pretending like I'm not there. In a moment of panic I duck, and it hits Minho on the chin. I crouch on the floor and crawl away while looking at the white tiles, feeling disgusted when food lands on my back._

 _I just got this shirt yesterday. It was the one thing I had that was new._

 _Screw the consequences. I'm sick of him ruining everything I own._

 _With a scowl I stand, grabbing a handful of something off of someone else's plate and hurl it at Minho. It hit's him right in the ear, and he turns and glares at me. His eyes narrow when he realizes who threw it, and he grabs the carrots on the table and throws them at me. They aren't sliced, or diced. They're just carrots. So I catch them and throw them back at him, laughing when they hit him right on the nose._

" _Bitch! "_

" _She is not! " Newt yells while slamming his hands on the table and standing. I hadn't even realized he was in here. That just shows how good of a friend I am._

" _Yea right. And who are you? Her boyfriend? " He taunts the words and Reed uses the distraction to snake behind him with two bowls full of mashed potatoes._

 _Newt's face tints a shade of red. Great. Now Newt's so mad his face is turning red._

 _I smirk as Reed presses the bowls of mashed potatoes to Minho's cheeks. Minho's face hold shock for the shortest second as the potatoes slide down his cheeks and drop on to his shirt. Then he flips Reed over his shoulder and pins him to the ground. Not fair. Reed hasn't had any training yet. No one but Minho and Alby have. And of course—by special request of my mother—me._

 _I use that training to kick Minho off of Reed and I feel one of his ribs shudder under the impact. He groans and then mumbles:_

" _Bitch. "_

 _So I kick him again. How can I be a bitch if I'm only ten?_

" _You know, " Minho coughs up a little blood on the floor, " You're only proving my point. "_

" _You have a habit of screwing up my life, even when I try to avoid you. " I hiss, resting my foot on his arm. " Just think of this as a little revenge. "_

 _But it's like he didn't even hear the last part._

" _Admiring me from afar, are we? " He smirks, and I stomp on his shoulder. His arm dislocates with a sickening crack and he cries out. I suppose I am being a little rough, but he did break one of Newt's toes last week. It may have been an accident, but Minho shouldn't have been trying to juggle weights when he can barely lift them. Newt just happened to be too close him. And before that, Minho spiked my drink. Where he got the alcohol, I have no clue. It's not allowed in WICKED, and I was a drunk ten year old._

" _Bitch. " He hisses through gritted teeth. I'm about to lean down and start punching him when I feel a light touch on my shoulder. I turn my head and see my mother staring down at me with disapproval lacing her features._

" _Since you did this, you can take him to the medic. " She looks toward Reed who is trying to melt into the wall. " I'll take care of him. "_

 _I groan. " But mom… "_

 _She silences me with one glare._

" _Okay I'll do it. " I look down at Minho as she walks away with a satisfied look on her face. He looks perfectly fine to me. His arm is just resting on the ground at an odd angle. That's it. " Get up. "_

 _He groans and curls in on himself with a wince._

" _Don't be such a wimp " I nudge him with my toe, " Get up. "_

 _He doesn't move._

 _" Fine then. Stay there and suffer. See if I care. " I start to walk away but his hand shoots out and grabs my ankle. I look down at him and see a conflicted look on his face. He's probably debating whether or not he wants help from the_ bitch _that beat him up. It's help, and he's not in a position to refuse. Everyone saw my mother tell me to take him, and no one will make it seem like they helped me go against her. They would be fired._

 _I put my hand down to help him up. He wordlessly takes it, averting his eyes as I pull him up. We leave the cafeteria and walk through the halls. He seems to be able to look anywhere but me, and his remarks from earlier have ceased. He's holding his shoulder as he walks though, and I can't help but feel a little guilty about it. I suppose beating him up wasn't the best thing to do. I just…I just get so angry at him. He's hated me ever since we first met all those months ago. I don't remember what I did wrong. Well, he did call me fat, and I did punch him, but it was provoked! You can't call a girl fat and expect her not to get defensive._

 _We take a left, the antiseptic smell from the hospital area looming over us now. Minho winces with each step. I hadn't known he was such a wimp. If I had, I would've pulled back the kicks a little bit. Maybe. Possibly. Probably not. That was anger-fueled rage, and I directed it all at him. Nothing—except my mom—could've stopped me. Or maybe an apology from Minho. That's really all I want. I want him to apologize for all he's put me through—us through. Newt couldn't walk for three weeks, and he stills looks funny walking, like he has a limp._

 _If Minho caused permanent damage to Newt, God help him. No, even God won't be able to. I'll come at him like a whirlwind, punching and kicking and cussing. When that day comes, he better hope I'm either gone, crippled, or missing. Maybe even a combination of the three won't be enough to keep me form beating him._

 _We walk into the hospital area and I cringe at the smell. I've always hated it. It always reminds me of…._

 _No. I can't think about that now. I might break down and start crying. I can't do that in front of Minho. Showing my emotions is being vulnerable._

 _The doctor here greets us with a smile._

" _Hi! " She says, then eyes Minho's ragged form. " Did you finally snap, Louisa? "_

 _I look down at the ground. I've never misbehaved before. Well except for the time I got drunk, but even that was his fault._

" _It's good to let it out. " She turns and rummages through the cabinet behind her, then slams it shut with a sigh. " I'm sorry. I'm going to have to go get something. You two stay here. "_

 _Her ruby-red lips stretch into a wide smile—so wide it's almost creepy. But I manage a small smile back as we step to the side and she exits the room._

 _There's a bed against the far wall, and that's where Minho heads. I sit in the office chair and resist the urge to spin around. Mom always scolds me for that, so I doubt the doctor would appreciate it. I also resist the urge to search through the cabinets. The doctors help so many people, and I wonder how they do it. What medicines they use, and the methods._

" _Why did you beat me up? " Minho asks while swinging his feet back and forth. I narrow my eyes at him and fold my hands in my lap._

" _Do I have to have a reason? "_

" _You do. Anybody else I wouldn't have questioned. You never do anything with out having a reason. "_

" _Why do you hate me? "_

 _His feet start swinging and he falls silent. I lean forward in my chair slightly and he makes it a point to stare at the wall as he mumbles something I don't understand._

" _I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I don't speak gibberish. " I lean back again and sink into the chair. Beating someone up really takes a lot out of you._

" _I. Don't. Hate. You. " He pronounces each word slowly like I'm a little child. I'm about to call him a filthy name, when I realize his words._

 _He doesn't hate me._

 _Then why does he always bully me?_

" _Huh? " Is the only thing I can stutter out. He looks back at me, his face tinted pink._

" _Iactuallyreallylikeyoubutyouscaremebecauseyou'reagirlandIdon'tknowhowtotalktoyousoIcallyouabitchbecauseyouconfuseme. " Minho looks at his feet as he says everything in one breath. I'm actually impressed he had the lungs to say that without pausing._

" _Again with the gibberish, Minho. "_

" _Never mind. "_

" _Well, " I start, and his eyes catch mine, " If you don't hate me, and I don't hate you, then why don't we call a truce? "_

" _A truce? "_

" _Yea. You don't bother me anymore, and I won't bother you. " I stand and walk over to him and sit down on the bed. I stick my hand out for him to shake. " Deal? "_

 _He grabs my hand and shakes it._

" _Deal. "_

… _._

I hate memories. I love them, but I hate them. Why did that have to happen when it did? I was in the middle of the Scorch, and we were so close to making it to the city. I guess it was cool that I saw little me beat up little Minho. And me, drunk? I didn't think I ever had been. I just can't see it happening.

I sit up with a groan. The sun is beating down on me, meaning I was out for at least four hours, maybe longer. I can't see Nandini in front of me, and I briefly wonder where she went. If she left me, I really wouldn't care, but it would suck. We had an agreement, and I was actually starting to like her. She was still the same frail girl I saw in WICKED's basement, but she decided I wasn't someone to hate. That was progress. An almost friendship.

I definitely wouldn't miss that filthy mutt though. The dog was adorable and everything, but it was constantly panting and jogging ahead or behind us. It never just walked beside Nandini. And it was annoying. The amount of energy that dog had was inexhaustible.

I flop back into the sand with a sigh. I really don't want to move. Chills rack my spine and I'm so dizzy. The sand around me seems to move by itself and I squeeze my eyes shut. It's getting worse. I don't know if I'll survive this. I've always wondered if death would be an easy way out, but now that I'm looking it right in the eye, I'm scared. I want to live. If I die, I won't be able to get my revenge on WICKED. I won't be able to avenge my family.

My heart leaps to my throat when I hear footsteps crunching on the sand. I know I should open my eyes and see if it's a Crank or Nandini or that stupid mutt, but they don't seem to want to open.

Then a foot pokes my side.

" Do you think she's dead? " It's a man, probably middle-aged from the sound of his voice.

" Hmm? " This voice is a girl. I hear more footsteps, then a gasp. " Louisa? "

That's Brenda.

I try to open my eyes, but I'm so tired. There's no energy left for me to use. Even breathing is too hard. Is this it for me? Am I dying? I always thought my death would be more painful at the hands of Janson or WICKED. Screaming, crying, begging him not to do it. I suppose this death seems peaceful in comparison to that.

" Louisa! " I'm vaguely aware of Brenda grabbing my shoulders. " Noah will kill me if I let you die! Wake your ass up! "

Noah? He's dead. I hope I go wherever he is. My mom, my dad, my brother. Will I see them again?

My heartbeat slows and I lose consciousness, but I'm able to briefly wonder if Newt will be okay without me.

* * *

 **DON'T KILL ME PLEASE. I wasn't originally going to end the chapter like this, but it happened because I realized how bad her condition was and yea. Don't kill me please.**

 **What did you guys think? I hope you liked it. My chapters are starting to get shorter. Am I not adding enough detail? Maybe it's just where I'm trying to get something timed right. Anyway, I'll get them back up to 3500 words instead of 3100 or 2900, when I reach that part I've been looking forward to writing since I started writing Fighting Against You. Yes, I did have some of Fighting For You planned way back in March. It's just the details I didn't know about.**

 **{ Review Responses }**

 **swagmaster5000 ~ YES LIFT THAT TABLE AND FLIP IT**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ I love writing about Minho's feelings and stuff. I have issues with rushing things along, so I've been trying to make sure I don't push the feelings on him. Also, maybe they all do. I dunno. I personally wouldn't blame them either.**

 **{ End of Review Responses }**

 **Anyway, I have to go wrap presents with my mom, Have a good day, evening, night, afternoon, morning!**


	17. Chapter 17

**yooo I'm back.**

* * *

Now that she's dead, I feel oddly empty.

She had collapsed, and I laid her on her back and walked off while humming to myself. Lexi had no problem leaving her. In fact, I would say she was skipping away with glee, glad to finally be rid of that murderer. I know I was.

But now, nearly two hours later, this pit has opened inside me. It's not my fault she's dead. I may have known where she could've gotten something to help with the blood poisoning, but, like I said. It's not my fault. Her death was a direct cause from interfering with my mother and I. She killed my mom and now she's facing the consequences. Or whatever happens after people's hearts stop beating.

Yay, right?

No.

I actually miss her. Despite her flaws she was a really compassionate person. And the more I think about what she did, the more I realize that she did me a favor. She put my mom out of her misery. I was being selfish. I wanted my mom to stay with me whether she was suffering or not. I didn't think about how she felt. I may be sad because she's dead, but if she went to heaven, she is probably thanking Louisa and cursing me for not helping her.

I really should have helped Louisa. My brother love her, that much is obvious from what I saw when they were in that room. Holding hands and looking at each other like nobody else mattered. I know I ruined their relationship. I told my brother everything. I told him that she almost tortured me, and that she killed that lady. I told him every rumor I ever heard about her. People talk around Cranks like they are just animals, so I heard a few things about her past that put her in a bad light.

He said he didn't care about that stuff and that he was just pissed she would keep the fact that he had a sister away from her. I should feel bad about ruining their relationship too, but I don't. My brother deserves to know the truth and if that makes little bitch-face unhappy, then she can deal with it.

Wait, she's dead. She can't feel anything anymore.

The back of my eyes start to burn. _Louisa is dead._ She treated me like a friend. No, more than that. She treated me like a sister. She always made sure I was okay; she was constantly asking. When I told her that stuff about my past, there was no pity in her eyes, just sorrow. Like she knew and understood me.

And I let her die.

I collapse to my knees and put my head in my hands.

I'm so sorry Louisa.

….

I peel my eyes open with a groan. They start to focus on something gray when I realize the hot sun isn't beating down on me. I'm laying on something hard and solid, not something that shifts when I move. There are still chills racking my body and I feel like a husk. But, I'm not in the sun. That's progress I suppose.

My leg aches. My back aches. I feel like I could sleep for a thousand years. I would, if I weren't so curious as to how I got here. All I remember is collapsing on the side of a sand dune and going into a memory. I was probably kidnapped by a bunch of Cranks. I do have that tattoo on the back of my neck. Maybe someone saw it and thought they would get paid good money to return me to WICKED.

I try to sit up, but find that I can barely move. My head barely leaves the ground, like it weighs fifty pounds by itself. In fact, each of my limbs feel like that—like they're made of iron or something. I can barely feel anything beyond my own pain. The burning sensation in my leg probably isn't a good thing either. It's an infection and it's the cause of the hell I'm going through right now. It doesn't help that I haven't eaten in four days, or drank any water.

" Louisa? " I hear Brenda ask, " Are you awake? "

I feel a hand on my shoulder. Wait a second. Brenda? Did she kidnap me? No, she probably carried me to safety. We must be in the city somewhere.

" Yea, " I say, but it comes out as more of a groan.

" Here, drink this. " Brenda holds a canister in front of my face. My eyes barely focus on it before she's tilting it over and holding my mouth open. Clean water pours from it, and then it hits my tongue. It's warm, but it's water. It coats my mouth and then glides down my throat, leaving me in a state of pure ecstasy. I never appreciated water enough.

Then, it stops.

I almost groan.

" You can't drink too much at once. You'll get sick. "

Then she's picking me up and leaning me against a wall. If I try hard enough, I can see the Scorch through a large hole in the wall across from me. Bright and hot. But the sky looks kind of gray. A storm maybe? If it is a storm I hope it rains.

I slide my eyes over to Brenda. She's wearing clothes that make her look like she belongs in the Scorch. They're tight fitting but light, and cover most of her skin. Her face is more tan than it was before, but not sunburnt. The most prominent change was her hair. Now it's cut like a boy's. I'm pretty sure that even Newt's hair is longer than hers.

" What happened? " The words come out slurred, like I'm drunk. I wish that was all it was. Instead I'm sick and dying.

" We found you passed out in the Scorch. How the hell did you get here? " Brenda sits down next to me, propping a knee up and resting an arm on it.

" Janson. " I don't know what language I'm speaking but it's not English. More like gibberish. But she seems to understand it because she casts a pitying look my way.

" And the cut on your back? "

" Janson. " I make the same noise I made before. She shakes her head.

" That's screwed up. "

I try to make my eyes focus more, but my it's like I don't have the energy. Everything haze this sort of haze to it, making it impossible to make anything out. I think I can see another figure approaching us, but Brenda doesn't seem alarmed so I don't have a reason to be panicked. It looks more like a shadow, striding towards us confidently.

" What happened at WICKED after we left? " Jorge asks when he gets close enough. I can't see what he looks like due to this insufferable fog thats settled over everything. " We haven't heard from them since. "

Did WICKED really kill most of itself? That doesn't make sense.

" There was a shooting. " I say and my throat starts to close with the threat of tears as Brenda's eyes widen.

" Who survived? " She asks frantically, but all I can do is shake my head. I don't want to say it out loud. Not to her. But the answer doesn't seem to be enough as she grabs my shoulders and shakes them, " Who survived? "

I shake my head again as my lip starts to wobble, " No one. "

Even though my vision is blurred, I can see the hope drain from her face. " No. " She protests.

" I'm sorry. " My talking is back to normal, and the words come out whole instead of fragmented. The little bit of water she gave me seems to have helped a lot.

" Noah….? " Her hands drop from my shoulders.

" He's dead. " My voice breaks saying it. Associating those words with Noah… I never want to say them again. I shouldn't have to say those words. He should be alive! Laughing and having fun with his friends. Doing whatever he does with Brenda. He didn't get to live. Not the way he wanted to. He wanted to see the world freed from the clutches of the Flare, and he didn't get to. He died, not knowing anything. Hell! Those screens were on when I was being tortured. Did he die not knowing if I would survive? He had so much he wanted to do, so much he wanted to be. He could've been the one to save the world.

But now we'll never know.

Brenda hugs me and cries into my shoulder. I wish I had the energy to hug her back—I really do. She needs someone to comfort her. Like Minho and Newt did with me. When I try to lift my arms, they get a measly two inches off the ground and fall back down. I'm so weak. Useless. I can't even help my friend feel better after she finds out the person she loves is dead.

" Brenda, you shouldn't cry. " Jorge says, and I force my vision to focus on him. It barely works. How can he say that? She deserves to cry. If it were Newt…. I'd be broken. " You're going to become dehydrated faster. "

Her world is crashing down and he's worried about her becoming dehydrated? I suppose that's a good thing. Someone has to look out for her when she's not concerned for herself. Then again, maybe she experiences grief differently than I do. Perhaps she never wishes to perish alongside them, but to live for them.

She pulls away and rubs a hand over her eyes, drying her tears.

" Y-you're right. " She nearly chokes on the word, but then she seems to compose herself as she stands. " I'll go get Louisa some food. "

Brenda leaves, walking through a door on the other side of the room. Jorge watches her go then turns to me, crossing his arms over his chest.

" You know you're dying, right? " He says blatantly, " Anything you want me to tell anyone before that happens? "

I'm not going to die. I won't die. I can't die. Not when I have so much to do.

" No. "

I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes. I'm so tired. I don't remember the last time I was sick, but I know I probably hated it. The inability to do things would drive me crazy. It's driving me crazy right now! I want to be able to help Brenda and Jorge. If we happen upon the Familiars, I want to be able to help them. Just sitting here and having everyone hand feed me food is not what I want to do!

" Listen _amiga,_ " He says, and I crack an eye open to look at him as he crouches in front of me. " I'll do everything I can to stave off the infection, but I don't know how long you'll last. "

I think about what he offered earlier. To tell someone something if I die. He may have been sarcastic, but I'm going to take it seriously.

" If I die, " I say, the words feeling weird in my mouth, " Tell the Gladers I'm sorry. "

He nods, but then confusion washes over his face.

" Sorry for what? "

I close the eye I had open. I feel myself drifting off into a world of dreams, but I manage to mumble one last sentence before I fall asleep.

" Sorry I couldn't do more. "

….

 _I'm sitting at a table. It's old and worn, made of cherry wood. It's beautiful. The walls are a soft yellow, and the cabinets are white. The floor is composed of cream-colored tiles. A white refrigerator resides in the corner with a stove next to it. This is a really nice kitchen, but why am I here?_

 _A baby starts to cry from a different room in the house. I stand and leave the kitchen, walking through the living room and up the stairs. The walls are the same yellow color, and I make a mental note to paint them later. The hallway upstairs is dimmer than the kitchen was, but I walk through it as if I've been down it a thousand times._

 _I enter the last door on the right. This is a baby's nursery, complete with a crib and a bunch of toys and stuffed animals. There's a white rocking chair in the corner, with a stuffed rabbit sitting on it. I find myself wishing I'd had a room like this when I was little, but quickly shake it off as I approach the white crib._

 _I pick up the baby and cradle it, humming a slow tune. The baby's crying eases away, laughter replacing it. The pink shirt she's wearing has a stain on it. It looks like a carrot stain, courtesy of the meal she ate last night._

 _She grabs at the hair that's draped over my shoulder, causing a smile to spread across my face. I hear footsteps, but I keep my focus on the baby. She's so beautiful. She has a little bit of sandy blonde hair on top of her head, and her eyes sparkle as she laughs. When did I get so lucky?_

" _How's our daughter doing? "_

" _Kaysie is perfect. " I reply as he walks over and places a kiss on top of my head. He puts an arm around my waist and rests his chin on top of my head. I suddenly wish that I could stay in this moment forever, just to be happy forever. But as long as I have him and Kaysie, I'll have everything I never thought I could have again._

 _A family._

 _I turn to face him, just to give him a kiss as a thank you for working so hard to support us—_

… _._

I'm woken up by Brenda. She's holding a can of beans and a plastic spoon, a sorrowful look on her face. When she sees me looking at her, she forces a smile. It takes me a moment to realize that I can see clearly. It must've been exhaustion or something. Either way, I'm glad it's gone.

" Can you move? " She asks, and I try to lift my arm again. I get it about half a foot off the ground before it falls back down again like some force pushed it down. I sigh. _Weak. Useless._ What would Noah say if he saw me sitting here doing nothing while his girlfriend struggles? " It's progress. "

" Not enough. " I say, but my mind isn't completely on this conversation. That dream. What the hell was that? If that was what I want then I'm screwed. WICKED ruined the possibility of that life ages ago. Apparently my baby will have my hair and my husband's eyes. And she'll be beautiful. We'd have to make an effort to make the boys stay away from her—

Never mind. Because that will never happen. I wouldn't have a kid just to put them at danger to WICKED's antics. Besides, I'm 16. That's forever away and I might not even live that long.

Thunder booms and I nearly jump off the ground. I would have had I had the energy. I look out into the Scorch to see lightning striking the sand, making the night air light up with purple flashes. Thank the heavens I'm inside. But the lightning is kind of mesmerizing in a way. I don't remember ever seeing it before but I don't have all my memories back, just a majority of them. I wonder if Ive ever looked out in the sky during a storm and just let the boom of thunder and sparks of lightning calm me down. Right now, it's reminding me that everything could be so much worse.

" Open up, " Brenda says, sticking the white spoon in the can and taking a spoonful of baked beans out. Feeling like a little baby, I comply, once again resenting the fact that I can't do anything. The beans are warm and they taste a bit like dirt, but it's food. I can feel it filling the hole inside of me. She feeds me another spoonful and then sets the spoon in the can and then sets it on the ground next to me. The monster inside of me hums with appreciation and goes back into it's cave, waiting until I'm hungry again to come out.

" Thanks, " I say, finding that energy is slowly trickling back into my system as I digest the food. But that damned infection is going to be the death of me. " So, how much of this is because of the infection? "

She scratches her head, " I think you'll have a lot of trouble walking. The fever and the chills and dizziness are all side effects of blood poisoning. You can't move because you were so malnourished. If you just sit here and recuperate for a little bit you'll be fine in that department, but the infection…. "

She trails off and grabs the canteen again. She lifts it to my mouth and I open, letting the water coat my mouth before I swallow it. She pulls away again and shoves the canteen back into her backpack, seemingly trying to busy herself with that and avoid the subject of the infection, not wanting to tell me what's happening.

" I know it's killing me. "

She glances at me with a sorrowful gaze and then digs around in her bag. She pulls out a thing of clean bandages and moves next to my leg. The bloody bit of shirt is still there and she unties it and takes it off. The sight of the wound takes my breath away. I can feel it throbbing, but it's red and there's some sort of liquid seeping from it. I resist the urge to gag. It's disgusting. Not only that, but I can see the teeth marks on my leg, each one swollen and red.

" A bite? " Brenda asks, poking at it with her finger. I hiss at the contact.

" Mmhm. " Is all I can say. At least she can tell it's a yes.

" Are you immune? "

" Mmhm. " I repeat the sound, but then I realize. WICKED told me I was immune. I can't trust anything they say. What if I'm actually not immune and I have the Flare?

Whatever. I just don't care anymore. Just let me save Newt and the Familiars and avenge my family. Then I can die after that.

Wait. If I have the Flare… Then I might infect Newt.

" I saw your file Louisa, " Brenda says, eyeing the look on my face, " You're immune. I just didn't know if they'd told you. "

But Brenda works for WICKED. It doesn't matter how she loved my brother and trained me. I can't trust her either. I just want one person I can count on. And Brenda isn't it. It's better to assume every one is working against you than to trust someone and be betrayed.

Without telling me she starts to pour water on it. It stings like hell and I can feel some type of stuff coming out of it. Pus probably, but it doesn't really matter because I'm too busy hissing through my gritted teeth to care. Then she stops and pats it dry with a spare shirt she had in her bag.

" Brenda, they're coming! " Jorge calls out and he jogs over and grabs her shoulder, " We have to get into position. "

" Dammit, " She mumbles, " I'm almost finished. "

She starts to wrap the bandage around it and I grimace the whole time. The bite burns like someone's holding a match over it and there's this deep throb, like it's emanating from the bone. She finishes and stands while casting me a glance.

" What do we do about her? " Brenda nods her head in my direction and I smile sweetly at Jorge. I have no idea what's going on, but I don't want to be left behind. There are probably Cranks on their way to eat us. I've already been bitten and that is something I don't want to experience again.

" Leave her. She'll be fine. "

My smiles falters and then turns into a scowl.

" Would someone tell me what the hell is going on? " I say and Jorge shrugs.

" You'll be fine. " Brenda says, then as an afterthought adds, " I think. "

She and Jorge jog and take the stairs that are on my left. I think they lead to the roof, but I don't know. Why they would want to go that way in a lightning storm is beyond me, but I'll just stay here and be bait. That's apparently my job. Can't move, get left behind.

" Assholes, " I mumble and look out into the Scorch. There are figures running through the lightning, making their way towards the building that I'm in. There's about six of the, roughly. Surprisingly, none of them get struck, but they're probably used to dodging lightning if they're Cranks. To my left a shadow moves from behind the staircase and I tense up, my fingers aching to be holding a knife or just something to defend myself with. When he sees me he holds a finger to his mouth then gestures to the people running outside.

They're close enough now that I can see who they are.

They aren't Cranks like I had previously thought. No, these people are the Familiars. Newt, Thomas, Frypan, Clint, Minho, Aris; All six of them are running towards us at a breakneck speed. They stumble when lightning strikes near them, but stay on their feet. They can't see me because of the dimness of the building, but I swear Minho is looking right at me.

And then he gets hit by lightning.

" Minho! " I scream as he falls. Thomas and Clint pick him up as they run by, struggling to carry him further. They're only ten feet away and I make myself get up on my knees. I have to see if Minho is okay. Because he _has_ to be.

They stumble in here and I crawl over debris. The Familiars see me and their eyes widen as I feel something cut my hand but I pay no mind to it. Right now, all that matters is Minho. He looks burnt. Honest.

" Louisa? " Newt asks when I get close enough but I ignore him and stretch a hand out to touch Minho. He feels hot but I can tell he's cooling down. I put my head on his chest, listening for a heartbeat. I wait a second. 2. 3. 4. 5. I can't hear anything.

" Minho? " I whisper as I pull away to look him in the face. His eyes are shut and his clothes are burned, but his hair remains unscathed. But he isn't breathing. He—he isn't breathing!

" No, no, no. " I mumble as I put my hand to his neck, feeling for a pulse. The Familiars look at me oddly but I don't care. I just have to make sure Minho is okay. He has to be alive; he has to be.

But there isn't a pulse.

Despite how little water I've eaten drank these past few days, I feel my eyes tear up. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and cry like I've never cried before. Not even when I found out Newt wasn't immune. Not when I found out my family was gone. This, this is a different type of hurt. It seems final. Absolute. It makes the pain in my leg and back seem puny and insignificant.

" Is he dead? " I hear Frypan ask, but I ignore him.

Minho is gone.

" Dammit you shuck face. " I whisper as thunder resonates through the air, " How could you leave me like this? How could you leave _them_ like this? I was right. You really are an asshole. But I love you anyway. "

I realize that it's true. I do love Minho. It might not be the same way I love Newt, but it's still love. What else could it be? I doubt I'd cry like this if he were just a friend. What else could cause this type of pain besides love?

Then I feel his hand on my back. My heart leaps into my throat and I pull away to find his eyes open and looking at me in a way he never has before. The Familiars melt away and in this moment, it's just me and him. I know, it's cheesy, but that's how it feels. No one else in the world matters right now because he's alive.

Then I get angry.

How the hell could he scare me like that?

" Asshole. " I growl, my voice still shaky and his eyes widen, " Don't do that again. "

He laughs. God, I thought I'd never hear that sound again. I never thought I would see him smile or that stupid arrogant smirk. I thought I'd never hear his voice. I thought I'd never get to talk to him again.

" I'm sorry I died, " He says and I hug him again. He did die, and there's no knowing when it could happen again. His breath tickles my ear and I smile. Then he whispers something I never thought I'd get to hear.

" I love you too. "

My smile widens and I close my eyes, wanting to stay here in his arms for as long as I can.

* * *

 **4,384 words. By the way, that scene at the end was one I've been wanting to write for a very long time.**

 **How did Newt feel about the Minhlo hug? Hmm I wonder. He's probably pissed. Maybe he'll hurry up and forgive Louisa so Minho can't steal his girl.**

 **Also I posted that Adventure Time fic. You should go check it out if you're interested.**

 **I'm going to go read now. Have a great day, evening, afternoon, morning, night!**

 **PS LEWT IS NOT DEAD! I PROMISE.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello... It's me.**

* * *

At some point when I'm hugging Minho it starts to rain. I can tell from the way it hits the roof of the building, and when there are holes in the ceiling it drips down onto the floor. The sound is almost like a lullaby, making me feel drowsy despite the way my heart is racing. My eyes start to drift shut and I begin to fade away into a realm of sleep...

Then a wave of nausea racks my body. I push away from Minho and clamp a hand over my mouth as I crawl away from the Familiars. The food I ate earlier is clawing it's way out of my stomach. I try to push it back down, but to no avail. My stomach lurches and throw up next to a fallen steel beam as I taste beans for the second time today. The water I drank comes up with it and and my stomach becomes as empty as it was before. Dry heaves cause my shoulders to shake and my stomach to knot. I clench my fists and unclench them, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

" Is everyone okay? " Thomas asks and I hear him shuffle around behind me, no doubt counting the Familiars to see how many are left. I didn't see any go down during that storm, but who knows how long they were running through it?

Minho and I both groan a no at the same time. I was starting to feel better, but now I'm back to square one. Once again, I feel like I'm dying. Minho probably feels the same with all the burns covering his body.

I turn around to see him slowly sitting up with another groan. His whole body probably aches. I've been electrocuted before, but never hit by lightning. It has to be ten times worse.

" Can't be too bad if you can do that. " Thomas says with a grin. His eyes dart over in my direction, asking the silent question ' Are you okay? ' and I nod my head yes. The slight movement causes the world to tilt and I have to squeeze my eyes shut.

" I'm tougher than nails, " Minho responds, " I could still kick your pony-lovin' butt with twice this amount of pain. "

" I do love ponies. I could eat one right about now. " As if on cue, his stomach growls. I don't know what I'll do about the food situation. Brenda and Jorge are somewhere in this building and I know they have food, but I can't keep it down. Maybe I should just try something other than beans, I don't know.

" Did Thomas the boring slinthead just make a joke? " Minho asks and I open my eyes to find him casting a sidelong glance at Newt. My eyes follow his and find Newt, who's staring at me. His arms are crossed over his chest, but something is mixed in his features. Hurt? I don't know. I avert my eyes before I can figure it out.

" I think so. " Newt shrugs and I feel his accusing gaze leave my body.

" I'm a funny guy. " Thomas sits down on the concrete floor next to Minho.

" Sure you are. " Minho mumbles and looks my way. I would've smiled if I didn't feel so exhausted again. This damned infection is kicking my ass. I won't survive as long as I have it. " What happened to you? "

" I got dumped in the middle of the Scorch and then I came here. " I say weakly, leaving the part about traveling with Nandini out. I wonder where she is, anyway. Where ever she is, I hope she's okay.

" Why do you look like shit? " Frypan asks, getting straight to the point. I let out a breathy laugh. Saying that I got bit by Newt's mom as I tried to kill her for attacking Nandini doesn't seem like the smartest thing to say.

" Dumped in a desert with no food, water, shelter, or any idea of where I was going? " I say, folding my legs underneath me slowly and hissing when I accidentally put too much pressure on the bite, " You'd look like shit too. "

" What's with the bandage? " Newt asks, gesturing towards the white cloth on my leg with his eyebrows drawn together. I hear something shift from behind me, but I pay no mind to it. Brenda and Jorge are here and they won't let us get hurt, I don't think.

" I got bit. " I say quietly and nearly flinch at the dead silence after that. Raising my voice a little I add: " But I'm okay. I'll manage. "

I won't mention how I thought I had died yesterday when I collapsed.

My eyes start to close again but I force them open. I have to know what happened while I was gone. I have to know what the Scorch Trials actually are, so I can protect them. And maybe save myself in the process.

" What exactly happened after I left? " I ask while fighting a yawn. I'm always so tired nowadays. I feel as though I'll close my eyes and fall into a deep slumber, not waking for a couple years, or never if I die. A couple of the Familiars shift on their feet, and I realize something. Winston isn't there. Either he's out in the Scorch, or he died.

Eh. That sucks.

" Janson told us we had two weeks to cross the Scorch. " Thomas says, slouching over and putting his chin in his hand while resting his elbow on his knee.

" And why don't you guys just go to a different city? " I say, resting a hand on my knee. " I hear Denver is really nice. "

" They said that if we made it, we'd all get the cure. "

Wait. What?

" We all have the Flare. " Newt adds in and I feel my eyes widen. That's impossible! Minho, Frypan and Thomas are immune—that much I know. But what if Lee lied to me about that? I don't know what anything is anymore. If Newt has the Flare…Then I failed at protecting him.

I failed another person.

I feel my shoulders sag. Thomas said something about a cure though. Cross the Scorch in two weeks and get the cure! If WICKED already has the damn cure then what are we going through all this for? Do they just like torturing kids? Something about this doesn't seem right. I can try to get answers out of Brenda, but who knows how much of the truth she actually knows?

If there's a cure—a real cure that will get rid of the Flare—then there's no reason Newt can't see his sister. If he has the Flare then I suppose I can tell him why I was keeping him from his sister in the first place. Maybe he'll understand and will stop being so hostile towards me.

" Newt, " I say in a weak voice, " Can I talk to you? "

He eyes me for a second before nodding his head. Then, like a total ass, he walks past me and towards the other side of this huge building. Doesn't he know I can't walk?

Actually, I haven't tried so I don't really know.

I get up onto my knees, wincing with each slight movement. The building starts to dance around me, making me sway just sitting there. The Familiars chatter among themselves, not acknowledging the fact that I am struggling. I use my arms and push off the ground in an effort to take some of the strain off my legs. It works, slightly, and I'm able to stand. But I'm putting most of my weight onto my left leg—the uninjured one.

So, I'm standing. Now comes the hard part.

Gritting my teeth, I take a step. Pain shoots up through my leg and to my back and I whimper a little.

" Louisa, are you okay? " I hear Minho ask. I nod my head yea as I take another step. Or at least I try to take another step, but the world blurs together as I fall. My head hits the ground causing a splitting headache to surge through my skull. I groan and clutch my head just as Minho says:

" No you're not. "

" I'm fine. " I groan the words out just as someone touches my shoulder. I look up and see Newt—he looks like he's swaying but it's probably just me—starting down at me with with an apologetic look on his face.

" Sorry. " He says holding his hand down, " I thought you said you were okay. "

He should already know that I lie about that all the time. I feel him drifting away from me just because I lied to him once. It's like he thinks he can't trust me. I want things to be the way they were before he found out about Nandini. I was semi-happy with my life then.

No, I won't let Newt define me. The love I feel for him has consumed me, making him the only thing that mattered most. That has to change. He's important, and I would do anything for him, but there are other things more important than a petty, teenage romance. I let him become the crutch that I leaned on, but I'm strong enough to walk by myself.

Hypothetically speaking, that is.

" I _am_ okay. " I say the words through gritted teeth while trying to stop the world from spinning. I force myself to stand again, blocking the pain out. Newt watches with hurt flashing across his face, but then he schools his features into an apathetic stare as I limp towards the far end of the building.

I can do this. I just have to tell him that he isn't immune and that that's the reason why I lied to him.

He _has_ to understand.

…...

She refused my help.

I offered my hand and she just ignored it.

That's never happened before. I hate it. I want her to be able to rely on me. Have I really been that hostile towards her? I just…I just need to figure my feelings out before I can attempt to forgive her. She lied to me about Nandini. Who knows what else she lied about?

But being away from her hurts more than anything. I miss her hugs, the way her smile lights up her face, the fire that's constantly flickering behind her eyes, her kisses. I miss _her._

That's one of the only reasons I'm following her as she limps towards the other side of this building. Louisa looks like absolute hell. Her arms and neck are sunburnt, but her face is pale and she's _limping._ It reminds me of when she shattered her foot back in the Glade. But this time, she got bit. By a Crank.

I know she already had the Flare, but what happens if you get bit and you have it? Does it accelerate the affects? I really hope it doesn't because I can't lose her.

She stops walking and sits on an old wooden desk. It creaks beneath her weight but she ignores it as she pushes her hair over her shoulder. At first she looks at her feet—the old boots look like they've been mauled by a chain saw—but then her eyes rise to meet mine, and I'm shocked by the emptiness there. The past couple of times I've met her gaze she's averted her attention to something else, and now I know why. She didn't want me to see the emptiness and loss and sorrow there.

" Look, " Louisa says, " I know you hate me and whatever, but can you please not look at me like that? "

" Like what? "

" Like I'm a lost puppy. " She says, but then shakes her head. " You all have the Flare? "

I nod.

" And you're on your way to go get the cure? "

I nod again. She sways a bit as she sits there and she grips the desk so tight her knuckles turn white.

" I'm sorry. " She says, " I'm sorry I lied to you about your sister. I was only doing it to protect you. "

My blood starts to boil again. This? This is what she wanted to talk to me about?

" You told me that. " The words come out neutral instead of hostile but she still flinches as if I had yelled.

" But now… " She trails of and looks at the ground. " Now you already have the Flare, and there's a cure. "

My eyebrows draw together in confusion. " What are you talking about? "

" The world is split into two groups: Immune and non-immune. " She starts to sway again, " Everyone in this room is sorted into those two categories. I found out who belongs where when Lee told me. "

She bites her lip and I shift my weight from one foot to the other, growing impatient.

" You aren't immune Newt. " She says the words so quietly I almost miss them. " When I saw your sister and knew she was a Crank, I—I really wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to risk you getting the Flare. "

The anger that was building up inside me dissipates. I'm not immune. My sister is a Crank. I think I can see where Louisa is coming from, but still. It wasn't her decision. It wasn't right for her to keep something like that from me! If I want to risk my life and spend my last few months with family then I will.

" That wasn't your bloody choice. "

" I know that now. It was wrong of me to do that. You have to understand why I did it! " Louisa looks up at me, her eyes watery and her voice shaky.

" Why are you telling me this now? " I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. It's probably another selfish reason of hers. The thing about Louisa is she'll do anything for her family, or to avenge them. If that requires using us, i don't think she'd hesitate.

" I'm dying Newt. " Louisa stands and tries to walk closer to me but it's like she's drunk. She falls forward and I quickly catch her, holding her close. " I want things to be right between us. "

The room is dead silent. I can hear every single one of my heartbeats thumping in my chest as she looks up at me, patiently waiting to see if I'll forgive her. I don't doubt her when she says she's dying, I just don't want to believe it. I won't let her die, but if she does I can't let her think the way she is right now.

I lift my hand and brush a piece of her hair behind her ear then rest my hand on her cheek.

" I don't hate you. "

It's like a weight was lifted off her shoulders because she collapses into me, hugging me tightly. I rest my chin on the top of her head, feeling whole once again. This is what I missed.

" I could never hate you. " I mumble the words into her hair and her grip loosens on me. Her arms fall to her sides and I pull away to find her eyes shut, her long eye lashes brushing the top of her cheeks. I lightly shake her shoulders. " Louisa? "

She doesn't react.

" Louisa! " I say it a little louder and shake her shoulders a little harder. Panic is all I feel as I put my head to her chest, listening for a heartbeat. I calm down a bit when I hear it, erratic but still there nonetheless. She's still alive, for now.

I can't wait for the day when I don't have to think that anymore. A day when she can be happy and safe. A day when all of us can be happy and safe.

I look over at my shoulder at all of the Gladers. They occasionally cast glances over here, curious, but they mainly just talk. They're probably trying to distract themselves from the problem at hand, but not Minho. He's not talking to any of them. He's simply staring straight ahead, right at Lo and me.

Heat fills my veins again.

I don't know what has happened between Louisa and Minho, but I really hope it was nothing. The way Louisa cried when she thought he was dead… I didn't even see her cry like that when her family died. Of course, she has her memories from before the Maze. Perhaps they were best friends before?

Yea, friends. Nothing more.

Minho definitely doesn't feel that way. I can tell just by the way he looks at her. It's the same way I look at her. I hope he knows she doesn't feel the same way.

I pick the unconscious Louisa up and start to walk back to the Gladers. I watch my feet, making sure I don't trip over anything. She already fell and hit her head once—I don't want that to happen again. The ground is littered with various things: empty food cans, fallen pieces of steel, wooden crates. I can feel everyone's eyes on us as I lay her down next to Frypan. I notice a small bag that's strapped on her back, but I don't pay much attention to it.

" What did you do to her? " Minho asks, his eyes darting between Louisa and me.

" She's not feeling well. She passed out. " I say while sitting down next to her. I grab her hand to hold and I see blood caked under her fingernails. It's probably from when she came across the Crank that bit her. Or maybe it's her own blood from when she bandaged the wound on her right leg.

" Do you think we're almost there? " Frypan asks, changing the subject from Louisa.

" No. " Thomas says while retying his shoe. " I mean, we've gone halfway just about. But there's still a long way to go. "

" And now we have to carry around a cripple. " Aris adds, narrowing his eyes at Louisa. I glare at him.

" What if it were Rachel? " Tommy asks, sending a pointed look at Aris. His eyes widen and he seems to scoot back a little bit. " That's what I thought. She's a Glader, part of the family. Even if she's sick and dying we'll stay with her until the end. "

Why does Thomas have such a strong connection with Louisa? I mean, he barely knows her. I guess he's just a good person and feels that everyone is worth saving. The way he treated people at the Glade was similar to the way he's treating her. With kindness.

A slow clap makes everyone turn their heads. A man in his thirties walks out of the shadows with a smile on his face. I scoot closer to Louisa and block her from his view.

" How sweet. " He says, " I didn't know we'd be getting dessert tonight. "

" Who the hell are you? " Minho growls the words, moving closer to Louisa as well. I catch the slight movement out of the corner of my eye as I'm glaring at the stranger.

" My name is Jorge, " He throws his arms out, gesturing around him, " And I'm the Crank that runs this place, _hermano._ "

* * *

 **I hope you guys didn't mind the POV switch. I just kind of felt like writing in Newt's POV.**

 **LEWT IS BEING MENDED. SLOWLY BUT SURELY.**

 **I love writing this. Have I said that before? I'll say it again. I'm having a lot of fun writing this. I love it.**

 **I bought the Scorch Trials on my iPad yesterday and I watched it. It gave me a lot of ideas that I could incorporate into Fighting For You, but I'm still going to stay true to the book.**

 **This fanfic is also shaping up to be longer than Fighting Against You. Be excited about that. XD**

 **I'm going to make a fiction press account under the same name as this one. I'm excited about that too.**

 **Remember, have a good day, night, morning, evening, afternoon! I shall go read a little or something.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I hope this chapter isn't boring.**

 **Minho's POV**

* * *

Nobody seems to be able to speak. We stare at the man, nearly dumbfounded. The way he said it was so unexpected, like he's proud to be a Crank. Not that he looks like one anyway. I'd find it more likely Newt is actually a flower picking pansy than this guy being a Crank. He must not be as close to losing it as those others are. I mean, Newt's sister looked sane enough and she's a Crank.

" You people forget how to talk? " A smile spreads across his face that seems out of place in such a dank building. " Or are you scared of the Cranks? "

I can see things moving in the shadows. Whether they're Cranks or people or just animals, I don't know.

" Scared we'll pull you to the ground and eat your eyeballs out? Mmm, tasty. " He hums and shuts his eyes, no doubt thinking about the last eyeball he ate. This guy is freaking crazy. He even admitted it! We can't stay here-not with this guy lurking about. He'll eat our eyeballs with a spoon before he would help us.

" So you admit it? " I ask, " You admit your a Crank and that you're crazy? "

" He just said he likes the taste of eyeballs, " Frypan says, the voice coming from my left, " I think that qualifies as crazy. "

Jorge laughs, though the sound has a tone of menace in it. " Come my new friends. I'd only eat your eyes if you were already dead. Although, I don't deny that I wouldn't help you get that way if I needed to. Understand what I'm saying? "

His eyes scan over every single one of us, though his gaze lingers on Louisa for a little longer than I'm comfortable with. I see Newt tense out of the corner of my eye, squeezing Louisa's hand and moving closer to her.

" Not only that, but what would my dearest friend Louisa think if I ate her friends? "

My blood runs cold. _Dearest friend?_ Just what the hell has Louisa been doing out here in the Scorch? She's injured and probably need help. Did she turn to this guy for that help? If she did, then it must've been really bad. If he did help her, then what was his price?

" How do you know her? " Newt says to the man, a daring look in his eyes and a hint of anger in his tone.

" There are a lot of things you don't understand _hermano._ " Jorge starts to walk closer, " You don't understand how things work in this city. About the Cranks and WICKED, about the government, about why they left us here to rot in our disease. I will tell you one thing though. A pretty thing like her doesn't last long in a place like this. "

He stops not an inch away from me. I could pummel him to the ground right now. Force the answers out of him. But for now, I watch him with a seething rage swirling behind my eyes.

" I could tell you everything. But that's not the way it's going to work, _comprende?_ Those who are at a disadvantage are those that speak first. I want to know everything about you. Where you came from, why you're here, what in God's name your purpose could be. Now. "

I let out a low chuckle. " We're the ones at a disadvantage? Unless that lightning storm fried my retinas, I'd say there are seven of us and one of you. Maybe _you_ should start talking. "

Oh he didn't like that. His face is blank, devoid of any emotion save for the flicker of annoyance behind his eyes. I know he isn't alone. There could be a hundred Cranks in this place for all I know. I just want to push this guys buttons—to see if I could get him to talk. He knows Louisa and I'm going to figure out why. He also knows the way around this place and as much as I don't want to admit it, we could use the help.

" You didn't just say that to me did you? " Jorge crosses his arms over his chest. " Please tell me you didn't just speak to me like a dog. You have ten seconds to apologize. "

I look over at Thomas to find him staring at me with a face that says _' Do it. '_ He nods, and I smirk.

" One. Two. Three. Four. "

I don't say a thing. I'm not apologizing to this shuck face for talking to him the way he deserves. Who knows how he treated Louisa?

" Five. Six. Seven. " Jorge's voice rises with each number. I stare up at him, unflinching.

" Do it, " Thomas says, the words coming out stern and forceful.

" Eight . Nine. "

Some where in the left corner, I see a flash of steel.

" I'm sorry. " I blurt out with little feeling. I would prefer not to be gutted like a fish, thank you very much.

" I don't think you meant that. " Jorge says, kicking me in the leg, hard. I cry out as I feel a burn there sing with pain. My eyes start to water. " Say it with meaning, _hermano. "_

He pulls his leg back and kicks me twice as hard in the same spot. " Say it with _meaning! "_ He screams the last word with such harshness that truly sounded crazed. Now I know for sure this guy is a Crank.

I wail like a little sissy as I grab the wound with both hands. " I'm….sorry, " I pant between pained breaths. Jorge stops, smiling and relaxed, seemingly satisfied with the pain and humiliation he inflicted.

Asshole.

I swing my arm out, slamming it into his shin. He jumps on to the other foot then falls to the ground with a yelp—a shriek that's half surprise and half hurt. I use the opportunity to get on top of him and punch him while yelling obscenities that I've only ever uttered in front of Louisa. What can I say? She brings out the best in me.

" Minho! " Thomas yells as I feel my fist connect with Jorge's face. Pain laces through my knuckles but the satisfaction I feel overpowers it. " Stop! "

I get another punch in, and another, and another. Each time I feel stronger, and his face looks worse. His lip busts under my fists and next thing I know, Thomas is tackling me. We fall to the ground but he manages to wrap his arms around me and hold me despite my struggles. Each burn that's on my chest stings as Thomas puts pressure on it, but I don't care. I have to—I have to hurt this stupid shuck face. He did something to Louisa. I know he did.

" Minho stop! " Thomas yells into my ear, " They'll kill you! They'll kill all of us! They'll kill her! "

The last one causes me to stop struggling. If Louisa dies, I won't get to see her proof. She said she loved me, but she doesn't show it. I want both of us to live long enough to show each other that. Not just say it. If Jorge can help her survive...

He staggers up to his feet, wiping a thin trail of blood from the corner of his mouth. He glowered at me. If looks could kill, I'd be dead. He takes a step and Thomas takes one back, taking me with him.

" Wait! " Thomas shouts, " Please wait! "

I notice a few Cranks emerge from the shadows, rusted weapons and wooden baseball bats in their hands. They gather behind their leader, maybe fifteen of them. Both men and women, a few teenagers. They are all filthy and dressed in tattered clothing, looking skinny and frail. Pfft. Some group of fighters Jorge has here.

" Please, just give me a minute. " Thomas says, releasing his hold on me. Jorge keeps his eyes on me, seeing if I'll make a move. I resist the urge to sneer at him. " It won't do you any good to hurt us. "

" Won't do us any good? " Jorge spits a wad of red goo from his mouth and I make an effort to keep the smug look off of my face. " It'll do me a lot of good. That, I can guarantee _hermano. "_

He barely cocks his head to the side, but the Cranks behind him seem to know what it means. They raise their rusted weapons and others pull another one out of it's sheath. Okay, so maybe they are a threat to us. A bigger one that I originally thought.

" Listen, " Thomas says, slowly getting up to his feet. " There's something about us. We're not just random shanks who showed up on your doorstep. We're valuable. Alive. Not dead. "

" The tattoo I found on the girl's neck when I was….. Well what I was doing doesn't matter. But that tattoo basically showed me that. Tell me something I don't know. "

A low growl resonates from the back of my throat. Thomas sends a warning look to me but I ignore it. I swear. If this guy has laid one finger on Louisa, I'll kill him.

" You and me. Ten minutes. Alone. That's all I ask. Bring all the weapons you need. "

Jorge laughs at that. " Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but I don't think I'll need any. " He pauses then, and seconds tick by. It feels like an hour passes, but I know it' just a couple of minutes. " Ten minutes. Rest of you stay here. If I give the word, let the death games begin. But spare the girl. "

He holds a hand out, gesturing to a door on the right. " Ten minutes. " He repeats.

I watch as Thomas and Jorge disappear into the room. I turn my attention to Louisa and see Newt, still squeezing her hand but there's a rage behind his eyes. He's tense. I feel more anger flush through me as I eye their joined hands. What did he do to deserve her? He practically caused her to be like this—hurt, starving and unconscious. I grit my teeth. He caused her to run away into that room where she was taken.

I crawl the few feet over to Louisa to see that her eyes are finally fluttering open.

….

I really need some food. The clouds from the storm are fading away but quicksand has popped up in places making it dangerous to walk. I mind my steps and Lexi does too, following me as I head towards the city. I would have made it there sooner if I hadn't gotten sidetracked by a group of Cranks. I just, I thought that I might find my father there. Instead, I nearly got Lexi killed. Meat is meat. Doesn't matter if it's a beloved pet.

Lexi isn't even a pet. She's a friend—the only one that hasn't abandoned me yet.

I came out of that fight with a few scratches to say the least. Crazed, hungry people will do anything for a single bite of food. Whether it's raw or cooked, fresh or rotten, they don't care. It just has to be meat. Their bodies reject any vegetables or fruits.

Lucky for me I'm still able to get them down and keep them down. That means I still have some sort of humanity left inside me. That's one of the few things I can cling to as I wander through this desolate wasteland of shattered hope and broken dreams.

I look to my right, past the flat expanse of the Scorch and towards the mountains. The caps are topped with snow, odd considering the fact that it's smoldering down here. There are small, black dots that span across the distance; houses that people used to live in. That _I_ used to live in before WICKED started dumping diseased people here. That's how I got the Flare.

It's all WICKED's fault.

We used to be a perfectly happy family, living next to neighbors that were our friends. As more Cranks filled the Scorch City that was only miles from our homes, people evacuated and headed towards Denver. Even my best friend fled. I don't know if he survived or what he's doing. I barely remember him, really. But in memories there is this constant face that seemed to always be smiling. His hair was blonde like Newt's, but he had the greenest eyes I can remember.

Lexi barks, startling me from my thoughts. My eyes scan the area around us, but I see nothing. All I can hear is the wind blowing the sand off of the tips of dunes and Lexi's barks. I look over at her and purse my lips. She never barks unless she has to. She's aware of the risk of causing loud noises, knows it attracts unwanted things.

Then I realize she's looking up.

My feet leave the ground. My eyes widen as I feel like I'm frozen in place. I'm pulled up and up and up until Lexi looks like nothing more than a speck in the sand. My breathing becomes erratic and I resist the urge to scream. If I fall from this distance, I'll die. What in the world is pulling me up? I don't feel anything wrapped around my body. It becomes harder to breath as the air gets thinner.

I briefly wonder if I'm being dragged up into space by God to die as punishment for killing someone. Well, Louisa wasn't the first person I let die, but that's beside the point. Tears start to sting the back of my eyes. I don't want to die. I haven't seen my brother yet. He hasn't remembered my face or the times we shared. I haven't seen the world restored. I haven't found my dad. I've done nothing but survive and run. I haven't lived yet. _I haven't done anything!_

The world goes black and the air goes cold. Is this it? Is this death? Who knew it could be so cold? I never wanted to die alone, but it looks like that's all I deserve.

A blinding white light fills the room. I squint my eyes and wait for my vision to adjust. Everything in here is made of metal save for the couple of beds and a pencil. There's the quiet hum of an engine and something clicks.

I'm in an aircraft. Does this mean I was kidnapped? Who the hell would kidnap some stupid kid?

Oh. Wait.

Never mind.

I'm still not able to move, not able to wipe away the tears that had spilled onto my cheeks. The door in front of me slide opens and I force myself to swallow my fear. Surely I'm here for a reason. What if it's to kill me? What if I've become a nuisance to their Trials? Oh god. _Oh god._

Who was it that warned me not to mess with WICKED? Oh yea. It was my mother before she completely lost her mind. I told her I was going to go rescue Newt instead of being a princess waiting in my tower of decimated dreams. She laughed at me and told me to never go near WICKED headquarters. The very next day, I ran away. I really wish I'd listened to her. Now that I'm staring death straight in the face, everything I did doesn't seem worth it. Dying isn't worth it. What good am I to Newt dead?

" Relax. " The man says. His hair is graying and barely there, while his nose is crooked. If I weren't so scared I would've laughed. He settles in a chair, his eyes never leaving mine.

" How can I relax when I can't move? "

He ignores me. " My name's Janson. As you might've guessed, I work for WICKED. "

I roll my eyes.

" You could become a part of the Trials. " He says, putting one leg over the other and resting his hands on his knee. " If you do, you'll get the cure. That I can promise. "

Me? A part of the trials…? That just doesn't make sense. What could I do? They rejected me all those years ago because I wasn't good enough. And now they're asking me to enter the Trials? What kind of bullshit is this? I won't. Not even for a cure. I refuse to become WICKED's property.

" I'm sorry, " I say sweetly, " But, I can't agree to anything that is legally binding without a parent or guardian present. And lucky me, they're all dead. "

He narrows his eyes at me. " It isn't legally binding. You wouldn't be handed over to us like everyone else was. You will be granted freedom. Given the cure! There is no better offer. Would you rather sit in the Scorch and wallow around in self-pity because you think you killed precious little Louisa? "

" She was a bitch. She deserved it. " I try to make the words sound nonchalant and carefree, but they come out clipped.

" She's not dead. That's why I need you in the Trials! " Janson rises to his feet and strides over to me. I try to move my muscles and back away, but they're still stiff. I can't move. I'm completely at his mercy.

" You want me to kill her? " I ask, my voice catching at the end. I suffered the first time I thought I had killed her, and I deserved it. But now… She's not dead. I have a chance to redeem myself. To let her know that I was sorry for leaving her laying in the sand.

" No, " A smile grows on his face, " I want you to break her. "

But she's already broken.

" I want you to take away the one thing that provides her with hope. " He continues, starting to pace. If it weren't for this thing binding me, I would be trembling. He can't ask me to do that! It's not fair. I will never break another person. Physically, they can heal over time. But mental scars never leave us. They never fade.

" Your brother, Newt, is the one that provides her with hope. I want you to turn him against her, make him hate her. I'm sure you heard some stories about her while she was locked in our basement. About a cruel and ruthless person that wouldn't even care if her friends died or got put through the Trials. I'm sure that if you tell him that he'll hate her. "

I would've crossed my arms over my chest if I could've. " And why should I do all that? "

He stops right in front of me, his reeking breath traveling to my nose. HIs eyes pierce into mine, making my skin crawl.

" If it is not enough to want to save your own life, then I'll tell you this. Your brother has had the Flare ever since we first found him. "

My heart stops beating.

" We've supplied him with the Bliss, thus postponing the effects, but here in the Scorch we can't get it in him. I can see him losing it through the cameras in the city. Bit by bit he's slipping away. "

No. This can't be true. I can't be losing my brother. No. No. _No._

" If you do this tiny little thing for me, I'll give him the cure after the Trials. " His eyes dare me to give up the chance to save my brother.

" What if he needs it before then? " I ask, my mouth dry. _My brother is losing himself._

" Then he'll get it. " Janson backs up and sits in his chair again.

" How do I know you'll keep your promise? " I try to narrow my eyes at him, but the attempt is feeble. I'm to scared to do anything right now except talk. And even then my voice shakes ever so slightly.

" A deal is a deal after all. I cure your brother, and you break someone who's been nothing but a bug in the Trials. She needs to be squashed….Crushed. "

Breaking someone in exchange for my brother being cured? That's a no brainer. I'm going to save my brother. I don't care who I have to kill in order to do this. I've made it this far, there's no going back. I will see this through. I will laugh with my brother again. We _will_ live.

I take a deep breath.

" I'll do it. "

A smile spreads across his face, wider than the one before if that's even possible.

" Good, good! " He says, standing. He walks through the door and reappears seconds later, holding a black backpack. " This contains food and water. Enough for you to survive off of. " He moves my arms to and drapes it over me; it's hanging off my shoulders and resting on my back. I cringe at the feeling of him touching me.

" Good luck. " He steps back and suddenly the floor opens up beneath me. I gasp feeling my stomach rise up into my throat. I can see nothing but the Scorch City. It's beneath me and rising closer. The wind tears at my clothes but I don't even care that the bottom of my shirt is touching my chin. The ground keeps getting closer and I'm showing no signs of stopping. I plummet like a dead bird, only my heart is beating, and it's beating fast.

I wait for myself to slow down, but I drop between the buildings at the same speed I was before, if not faster. I can see my reflection in the dusty windows, dirty, ragged with my hair whipping in the air above me. I try not to look down at the ground again, but I can't help myself.

I'm going to die.

The pavement is only about a hundred feet away. In two seconds I'll be splattered on the concrete. Maybe the Cranks will eat my remains off the road. At least then I'd be helping someone instead of destroying them.

I slow as I fall, and my feet gently touch the ground. But as soon as I land and the invisible force releases me, I fall over and dry heave. I do not like heights and I was just thousands of feet up in the air, falling without a parachute. Between dry heaves I gulp air down greedily. When I finish I collapse on the ground and close my eyes.

Then I realize I need to get off the streets. I have no doubt that I made a noisy entrance. People, Cranks, something will come after me and I'm defenseless just laying here so I stand. My legs are wobbly but they still carry me off the streets and into one of the abandoned buildings. I know I should start searching for Newt, but I'm so tired. I've hardly slept for fear of being murdered while I rested, but I should be safe in this building. My mom always said that they were the safest place and that I should go somewhere I could easily run from.

So that means go sit in the corner, right? That's what I do. I barely glance at the surroundings—it looks to be an old store, but there isn't any food left from what I can see—and I hide in the best spot I can. It's a little cramped, but it works.

I take my backpack off and hold it to my chest as I close my eyes and let myself sleep, thinking about a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. The one I'm supposed to break.

I'm so lost in the bliss of sleep that I don't hear the door open or the footsteps that follow.

I'm too busy dreaming of a world where no one gets hurt.

* * *

 **Is it boring when I do Nandini's POV like that? I don't know. Let me know what you think.  
**

 **Also, can't Lewt ever catch a break? I mean seriously. C'mon.**

 **I gotta reread the book again. This will be the eighth time this month I think? I don't know, I lost count.**

 **Oh, yea. If there's any typos in this chapter its because I'm half asleep and my eyes are burning. Words are kind of blurring together right now. I should probably go to sleep.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ Me too. It's hard to write when your character is limited as to what she can do. I'm glad Lewt finally making up their minds make you smile. :)**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ Thanks! And same.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **I didn't start this chapter until yesterday. Oops. I meant to start it after I got the last one up, but I was busy working a story idea out with a friend and it completely slipped my mind. I'm sorry. I also don't know when the next update will be, due to the fact that I have to go visit family this weekend and I have so much crap to do tomorrow and friday-which includes finding a unique dessert recipe to take to my great grandmother.**

 **Send help.**

 **I'm so so tired guys. Have a good day, night, morning, evening, afternoon, I'm going to sleep.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ugh.**

* * *

My vision is blurred as I stare up at the ceiling. I can't hear the raindrops on the roof anymore. The storm must be over after all the hell it caused. I drape a hand over my face and close my eyes again. All I want to do is sleep. If I stay asleep long enough, maybe I'll wake up and the Trials will be over.

" Louisa? " It's Newt. I can feel his hand in mine and I can't help but smile a little bit. My low energy only allows for a small twitch of my lips, but it's still something.

I move my arm and open my eyes. He's looking down at me while rubbing his thumb across my hand.

" Hi. " The word comes out small and weak, like it's nothing more than a harsh whisper. " How long was I out for? "

" Thirty minutes or so. " Newt says, frowning down at me. " Are you sure you're okay? "

I nod. " I'm fine. "

I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't believe me. I don't blame him. I probably look like I"ve been through hell and back. Pale face, hollowed out cheeks, dried blood making my shirt cling to my back. I _feel_ like I've been through hell. Some food and water would be nice, but I don't know if I'd be able to keep it in my system long enough for it to do any good.

I hear footsteps and some of the Familiars shuffle around, looking towards the far side of the room. Newt turns his body so that I'm looking at his back but he doesn't let go of my hand.

" All right, everybody listen! " Jorge says and I finally make myself look around the room. There are Cranks. Everywhere. " Me and the bird-face here have come to a conclusion. "

Who's bird-face?

I make myself sit up, but I have to lean against Newt to stay upright. He then shifts so that his arm is around me and he's sitting next to me. I lean into his warmth as the fever I have makes me shiver again. It's so cold.

" First we need to get these people some food. " Jorge addresses everyone, and I scan the small crowd of Cranks until I find Brenda. She's fairly close to us and staring at Minho. In fact, all the Cranks are. What did that idiot do this time? " I know it seems crazy to share our hard-earned grub with a bunch of strangers, but I think we could use their help. Give 'em pork and beans—I'm sick of that horse crap anyway. "

A couple of the Cranks snicker. Honestly, any food would be heavenly to them. That I'm sure of.

Jorge narrows his eyes at Minho. I notice the dried blood on his mouth. " Second, being the grand gentleman I am, I've decided not to kill the punk that attacked me. "

I groan. Minho, you freaking dumbass!

A few of the Cranks groan with disappointment. Well. At least Jorge isn't going to kill him. That's a good thing. I cast a glance at Minho as Jorge points at him. Not surprisingly, Minho smiles and waves at the crowd.

" Pretty happy are you? "Jorge says, " Good. That means you'll take the news well. "

" What news? " Minho snaps, using a voice I've only heard a couple of times when he was pissed at me.

" After we get you strangers fed so you don't go dying of starvation on us, you get to have your punishment for attacking me. "

Newt tightens his hold on me as if he thinks I'll pummel Jorge. I will if he even touches one hair on Minho's head. I don't care if Minho deserves it because he decided to be ignorant to the issue, I won't let Jorge hurt him.

" Oh yeah? " Minho crosses his arms over his chest, putting on a fake bravado. " And what's that gonna be? "

Jorge's face takes on a serene look. I can feel the tension in the air, so palpable I could probably take a knife and cut it. With one word from Jorge, those Cranks could attack us. One word, and we're dead.

" You punched me with both of your fists. So we're gonna cut a finger off of each hand. "

My stomach drops. " No. "I say, trying to make my voice seem strong. Every single person in here turns to face me, the sick girl clinging to a boy so she can sit up. I can see the distaste in his eyes.

" No? " Jorge repeats, narrowing his eyes at me.

I force myself to stand. Newt's arm falls from my shoulder and my legs shake, but I manage to stay on my feet. Some of the Cranks shift as I take a step towards Jorge.

" You lay one finger on that stupid shank's head, I'll slaughter you all. " I growl. It's a funny threat considering I can barely move.

Jorge draws his knife, the silver blade glinting with the last light of day that's shining through the holes in the ceiling. I take another wobbly step towards Jorge, but he simply laughs.

Next thing I know, he's striding forward and grabbing me by the wrist, pulling me into him. I immediately tense up as my cheek hits his shoulder. What the hell is Jorge doing? I didn't exactly know him, but I figured he would at least treat me with some respect.

Minho is on his feet and he started to charge towards Jorge and I, but Brenda puts a knife to his neck. It draws a drop of blood.

" Louisa, " He says and I feel his knife hovering above my neck. " Haven't you killed enough people? I know the guilt is eating you alive. "

His breath brushes my ear and I cringe away.

" You won't kill me. " I say, pushing the fear down deep inside me.

" Oh yeah? Why is that? " Jorge presses the knife into the side of my neck and I feel blood start to run down it. My hearts racing and I feel like I could break down and cry, but I don't.

" Death is a mercy for me. " I say, " You aren't a very merciful person. "

He pushes me away and I stumble then fall, cutting my hand on a piece of jagged glass that's on the ground. I grit my teeth together as I feel it embed into my skin.

" You're right. "

I pick my hand up and see it covered in blood. There's a small, dirty piece of glass in it, which I quickly pull out with a wince. Better to do that now than to let the glass dig further into my skin. The cut on my neck is slowly oozing blood and it stains my shirt. I really just want, for one second, not to be covered in blood.

" Here's the plan, " Jorge says as Newt picks me up. I almost protest because I don't want to seem weak, but the ground starts to move beneath me and I don't trust my steps to stay true. " Brenda and I will escort these moochers to the stash, let 'em eat up. Then we'll all meet on the tower, let's say one hour from now. "

Some of the Cranks protest, but Jorge silences them with one look. I sit down back next to the Familiars and go back to leaning against Newt. I hadn't meant to lash out and get myself hurt, but Jorge overstepped some boundaries. No one hurts or threatens the people I care about.

" Leave. " Jorge commands and every Crank obeys. They shuffle towards the other end of the room and out a door. Jorge looks visibly relieved as he shakes his head. Brenda takes her knife away from Minho's throat and wipes the blade on her pants.

" I really would've killed you, " She says, " Charge Jorge again and I'll sever an artery. I don't care what your relationship to Louisa is, or how heartbroken she'll be. "

Minho wipes at the small wound with his thumb and looks at the red smear. " What's the deal with you two and Louisa, anyway? "

Jorge and Brenda share a look. " We saved her life. Now she owes us. "

Huh? I suppose that's true but I wasn't informed of this.

" That would've been nice to know. " I mumble as I put my head on Newt's shoulder. Nothing surprises me anymore. I can't think about what I want or need, because surviving is the main goal right now. No drama, no romance, no nothing. There isn't any room for that bull crap. After I've survived I can think about that all I want.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything. If Frypan, Minho, Thomas and Clint are all immune, then how did they get the Flare? I can only assume that Janson lied to them. They don't really have the Flare. Taking a chance would be the worst thing I could do though. If I were to lead them away from the Scorch and towards Denver, they wouldn't get the cure if they needed it. Newt wouldn't get the cure.

I don't want to run right into WICKED's clutches again, but it's all we can do if we want to survive. We just have to endure.

" How, exactly, did you save her life? " Minho asks,crossing his arms over his chest. His fingers are kind of stuffed into his armpits and I resist the urge to chuckle. A feeble attempt at protecting them. If Jorge really wanted to chop his fingers off he would have done so by now, right?

Jorge's eyes shine with amusement as he conjures up an answer to Minho's questions. Newt is tense and curious, but all I want to do is sleep.

" We found her passed out on the side of a dune. Cranks were pretty close to eatin' her. Chased them away, brought her here, fed her and gave her water. " Jorge shrugs and looks over at Brenda with the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. What game are they playing?

" Why would you save Louisa? " Newt asks and I can't help but think the same thing. What reason do they have to help me? Was this all a part of WICKED's plan? Bring me close to death only to have Brenda and Jorge sweep in and save my life so I owe them and then they force me to do something? I have no clue. It's a waste of supplies to save someone like me.

Brenda doesn't look at the Familiars as she answers. Instead she looks at me, her eyes communicating her sorrows and worries and doubts. " I owed her brother a favor. He can consider his debt repaid. "

She has problems keeping her voice steady as the words claw themselves out of her throat. Noah is gone and there's nothing we can do except make the world the way he wanted it to be. And that's exactly what we're going to do.

I offer a small smile to Brenda as sorrow flashes across her face, feeling my heart ache. We both lost him. I'm surprised she's able to keep herself so composed in front of the Familiars when all she probably wants to do is fall to her knees, lay on the ground, curl into a ball, and cry. It's what I wanted to do. It's kind of what I still want to do.

" He'll consider it repaid if you keep me alive. " I say, the slight smile I had playing on my lips dissipating. She nods her head.

" Jorge didn't have any debt to him, so you still owe him. " Brenda says, putting a hand on her hip. I'm about to reply when Jorge interrupts us.

" Enough idle chit-chat, " Jorge says, turning and facing a door to our right, " We need to leave for the tunnels before the other Cranks get back. "

Those who were sitting stand, including me, although I have a little more trouble than everyone else. My legs shake and I can feel my every muscle screaming with exhaustion. I need to rest—to just sleep everything off or sit there and stare into space. When I try to walk my steps falter, further proving my point. Rest. Sleep.

Newt grabs my uninjured hand and puts his other in the small of my back, just below the cut Janson made. It steadies me, and despite everything, I still feel butterflies flutter in my stomach. A smile tugs at the corner of my lips.

" Thank you. " I say quietly, he smiles down at me as we follow Jorge through the door and down the dark hallway. Frypan, Clint, and Minho walk in front of us, Thomas and Brenda trail behind. I can hear their hushed voices and I glance over my shoulder and find Brenda smiling and Thomas blushing. What is Brenda thinking? She just lost Noah—someone she loved—and now she's flirting with my best friend's….person?

I shake my head and face the dark hallway again. It's none of my business what Brenda does. She's probably trying to bury it and forget about it, like I did when I found out Newt wasn't immune. It never helps. It just creates something for you to regret later.

There's a soft, orange light filtering in through an open door up ahead. It seems eerily bright in the darkness of this hallway, but I trust Jorge ( a mistake on my part, probably ) and hope that he won't lead us to our deaths.

I trip over something and start to fall, but before I can Newt catches me, his arm wrapping around my midsection. If his arm moved up one centimeter, just one tiny centimeter, he would be touching me _there_. The realization makes me flush even though we were completely willing to have sex just last week. Or has it been two weeks? With everything going on, I've lost track of time.

He steadies me and moves his arm down and away from my boobs. Is it bad that I was wondering what it would be like to have him touch me there?

I push the thoughts away. I'm dying and we're in the middle of the Scorch, and I'm wondering what it would feel like if Newt _touched_ me. Pathetic.

What would it feel like if Minh—

No! _Louisa, control your thoughts,_ I repeat this in my mind, implementing it there. At least, with all that's going on, I've retained my teenage hormones. Ha! I'd like to see WICKED try to figure out how to take that from me!

On second thought, no I wouldn't. Knowing them, they'd find a way and make life even more hellish than it already is.

Jorge disappears through the door and everyone follows. A sticky heat envelopes us in it's embrace but I shiver, feeling a cold sweat appear on my brow. My breathing becomes more shallow the further we walk. It's this damned infection. I can't do anything without suffering major consequences anymore. I wish we were back in the Maze.

We stay close to the side of the building we're walking next to, holding on to a little bit of shade. The sand of the Scorch seeps into my boots, making it feel like I'm walking on fire. I ignore the pain—all of it—and focus on staying on my feet. I'm still cold from the fever. It feels weird. Hot feet with a cold body.

We start to go downhill and my legs start to burn from the descent. I hope we get to where ever we're going soon.

Then I trip over my own feet.

Momentum makes me fall forward and right into Minho's back, my hand slipping from Newt's due to sweat. Minho and I fall and tumble down the dune, narrowly avoiding a surprised Frypan and Jorge. I let out a little squeal as we keep rolling and I can just barely make out the look of confusion on Minho's face in the blurs of the world.

Minho hits the bottom of the dune and I land on him, splayed out across him, my cheek resting on his shoulder. He groans and I sit up, rubbing my head. It hurts. My stomach is doing flips and I fear I might throw up, but I take a second to calm it and the feeling leaves. The lightheadedness doesn't.

I look down at Minho who's looking up at me, mild concern and a bit of amusement on his face. His hair…. It isn't perfect... There's sand in it, and it's kind of smushed down—not spiky like it normally is. He looks so different.

I laugh.

It makes every bone in my body ache, but I do it anyway. Perfect Minho's hair is messy for the first time ever. I push my hand through it, still laughing. Some sand falls out and it feels greasy.

" What? " Minho asks, his head turning to one side.

" Nothing. " I say, removing my hand from his hair and trying to kill my laughter. It doesn't work.

" What's going on down there? " I hear Jorge call from halfway up the sand dune. I look up at him and everyone else and see that they're halfway down.

" Nothing! " I yell and they don't ask anything else. Minho grabs my injured hand and I face him, ignoring the flare of pain that laces through my hand and up my arm.

" Why? " Minho asks, his eyes inspecting the cut, " Why would you do that? "

" You know why, Minho. " I say, feeling a bit exasperated. I'm drained, emotionally, physically. I don't need my heart to speed up when he looks at me like that. I don't want it to. I told him I loved him because I thought he was dying. It was instinctual.

" Don't do it again. "

" I'll do it if I feel like it. "

" I don't like seeing you hurt. "

 _Ignore the heart fluttering._ " I don't like being hurt but if it saves your ass I'd do it again. "

I didn't really save his ass. I just kind of stood up for him. But I would do it again.

He rolls his eyes. " There's no stopping you, is there? "

I send him a pointed look. " I've already lost enough people. We both have. "

The laughing and carefree moment was good while it lasted. I wish Minho hadn't ruined it, but well, it seemed unlikely to last anyway. Maybe it's a good thing he snuffed it out before I could get too hopeful. It's not like he did it on purpose. He just wanted to make sure I knew he didn't want me sacrificing myself in any way to protect him. He could've chosen a better time to bring it up though.

" Exactly. Please. Don't do anything reckless, Louisa. " His eyes are pleading for me to agree with him, for me to say I won't risk anything. I can't do that. Not when I know I would do anything to protect this group of people that have become the only family I have left. I'll protect them the way I couldn't protect Noah. Everyone here will survive.

" I can't promise that. " I say, shaking my head and getting off of him. I was straddling him before, now that seems too intimate. I don't mind being close to Minho, but right now he's making mad. How can he ask me to promise something I know I'll fail at? I need to protect them. It's the only reason I'm still alive—the only reason I haven't ended my own life.

" You have to. "

" I _can't_. " I say with more emphasis. " The— "

I stop talking. He doesn't need to know everything.

Finally, the other Familiars along with Brenda and Jorge join us at the bottom of the sand dune. The sun has disappeared and the moon has risen, casting a silver light over everything. The building that's about ten feet to my right looks like a good place to rest, but Jorge doesn't stop. He keeps walking, past it and even further.

I'm forced to stand only to fall, landing face first into the sand. It's still hot from the day and it burns my already sunburnt face. The sand sticks to the mostly dried blood on my neck and hand, making everything feel grainy. I hate it. I hate myself for being so weak.

Minho picks me up as the others walk past, holding me close to his chest. I glance at Newt with a small apology then back at Minho. He's smiling down at me, a twinkle of pity in his eyes.

 _Weak. Useless. What would mom and dad say if they saw me like this? Giving up?_

" Put… " I say but the word comes out a mere whisper. " Put me down. "

I sound weak saying it. I don't need someone carrying me. I don't want anyone to carry me. Why can't anyone understand this?

" I don't care if it's hurting your pride, Louisa, " Minho says quietly into my ear, " You can't walk. I won't let you injure yourself further. "

" Minho, " My heart is beating rapidly, probably due to the infection, " Please. "

He kisses the top of my head.

" Let me protect you. " He mumbles the words into my hair and I finally sag against him, laying my head on his shoulder.

For one of the first times ever, I let myself fall asleep, placing my life and trust in Minho's hands.

* * *

 **Honestly, it took me so long to get this out for two reasons. 1. I'm kind of trying to accomplish my reading goal for the year and I'm 8 books away. 2. I didn't like this chapter. Not one bit. It felt forced and awkward but I figured that was just me so I rewrote some of it, made it better and now I'm posting it. Let me know what you think.**

 **CHAPTER 20 ALREADY? IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY LOUISA WAS BEING RAPED. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?**

 **Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been here for this long. You all are awesome.**

 **Again, I apologize for this chapter's poor quality. I took too long writing it and it just didn't flow. I tried to include a light Minhlo moment, but it turned into something else and I just kind of... ugh.**

 **Louisa seems to sleep a lot. I guess doing what she's doing does make you tired. I'd sleep even more than she does tbh.**

 **Ok, so plans for the next chapter. I plan on getting something that I've planned for a little while now in it. Minhlo, Lewt, hostility. It's shaping up to be pretty good. And possibly pretty long. I haven't decided if I wanted to include this other _thing_ yet. **

**I have family things to do this weekend, again. Plus I have my reading goal. I'm so sorry if I don't get the other chapter up on time, ( which I'm hoping will be at least before next Wednesday. Hopefully before ) but you'll have to excuse me because Christmas is generally a very busy time for everyone.**

 **I have a workout in the morning so I have to go to sleep. Have a good day, morning, afternoon, evening, night!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Three different POV's. Minho's, Louisa's, Nandini's.**

* * *

She got herself hurt for me. And I hate it.

Lo is sick and dying, that much is obvious. We're going to have to get to the other side of the Scorch before the two weeks is up. I don't know how much longer she's going to last. She can't walk by herself and when she tries to she slows us down. As much as she hates it, she's weak and unable to do the things she can normally do.

It's now that she needs all of us the most. We've never relied on her heavily, but she knows things that we don't. I know for a fact that she does. I don't try to ask her because WICKED has threatened our lives to keep her quiet before. If that's happening again I know she wouldn't tell us. She cares about us too much.

Like what's going on between her and Brenda and Jorge.

It's none of my business if it involved her brother, but Louisa didn't mention that he was dead. I want to know. I'm tempted to ask, but she has too much on her plate already. I don't need to stress her out anymore than she already is.

I glance down at her face and see that she's asleep. She looks like she's in pain, even then. Her blonde hair is full of sand and mess from the fall and blood is on her face and neck, but I still think she's beautiful.

" Is she okay? " Newt asks, slowing down to where he's walking beside us. I try to ignore the flare of anger that pulses through me.

" She's fine. "

" This isn't my bloody fault. " He says, looking at the bandage on her leg. Blood is starting to seep through it, probably due to the fall. But she _laughed._ It was the most angelic sound I've ever heard. I didn't think she'd ever laugh again.

" How can it not be? " I keep my voice down, mindful of the sleeping girl in my arms. I shake my head. " I'm not arguing about this again. Own up to it and move on. "

Louisa presses her face into the crook of my neck and mumbles something about cookies.

" We just have to make sure we all survive, " Newt says, eyeing Louisa with confusion on his face, " I'm just curious as to what type of food Jorge and Brenda have. "

" Pork and Beans. Didn't you hear them? " I say, my anger simmering down. Louisa's lips are brushing my neck, making it hard to concentrate on why I was angry in the first place.

" Right now, I'd do anything for a piece of pizza or a can of beans. Either one will be bloody amazing. " Newt says and I have to agree. I'd eat anything they gave me.

Jorge walks into the building on our right, or rather, he crawls through an opening in a broken window. Frypan and Clint follow, dropping down onto the floor that seems to be six feet below because I can't see their heads. Newt drops down next and turns around, holding his arms out. I kneel and hand him Louisa then drop down into the room.

It's dusty and there are desks scattered everywhere. Chairs are overturned and papers are loose everywhere. There's a door at the other end of the room, and that's where Jorge heads as Thomas and Brenda drop in behind me. Newt carries Louisa and I start to wish I hadn't handed her to him. He already gets most of her attention. At least let me listen to her mumble in her sleep and carry her and protect her. What is she going to think when she wakes up and sees she's in Newt's arms instead of mine?

I personally hope she sleeps for as long as she needs. When I first saw her, the bags under her eyes were prominent and her face seemed hollow and nearly devoid of life. She was pale and had sweat broken out across her face. She's sick. She needs to rest now. Gather her energy for the long path to come. We all do.

I for one, and exhausted. Every muscle aches and I can feel my burns blistering. Sleeping would be nice. But I'm the leader here and these people look to me for direction. Or at least I hope they do. That's what the tattoo on the back of my neck said—that I was the leader.

We go down some stairs and into a small hallway. It's hot and stuffy in here, and it's starting to smell like rotten sewage. If Jorge expects us to eat _that,_ I will pummel him.

Aris is walking ahead of me, but behind Newt, eyeing Louisa with distaste. I'll pummel him too.

I'll wait until I have more strength so it hurts more.

Jorge comes to a stop next to a small iron door and waves Brenda forward.

" Sit down. We'll be out in a moment with your grub. " He says as he opens the door and walks inside. Brenda doesn't follow him. Instead she stands near the door like a guard, watching us all with a bored expression. But her hand hovers near her knife. If anyone tries to move she'll gut them.

Well, everyone except Lo. When Brenda's eyes scan over us, her eyes soften when they see Louisa in Newt's arms. In fact, I'd say she looked a little sad.

I just realized how little I actually know about Louisa. I don't know anything about her except for the fact that she's depressed and stressed and headstrong. I don't know any of the details like what her favorite food is, her favorite color, when her birthday is. I don't know any of the things that truly matter.

She probably doesn't know either.

…..

I wake up with my head on Newt's shoulder. I'm sitting down on the ground, my legs out in front of me. My eyes catch Minho's, who's sitting across from me, a distant look on his face. I yawn and stretch my arms out, feeling the least bit rested. It's not like I could run a mile, but I could at least walk by myself instead of having Newt or Minho carry me.

" Here. " My gaze shifts to Brenda, who's sitting down next to me and handing me a backpack and a can of beans with a white, plastic spoon stuck in it. I grab it, casting a glance at Thomas that's on the other side of her. Their legs are touching, and I narrow my eyes at Brenda. She sees the motion and shrugs. How can she do that? She just found out her boyfriend is dead and now she's flirting with someone else. It's making me sick.

No offense to Thomas, of course.

I find that everybody has their own can and a backpack and they are chowing down on the beans. You would think they're tasting their first bite of food in a lifetime. I glance down at mine, the brown beans sitting in a murky sauce make my stomach churn. I have to eat, I know I do. But my throat seizes when I think about swallowing a single bite of it.

" Eat, Louisa. " Brenda fusses over me like a mother, or an older sister. I scowl at her.

" I'm working up my appetite. " I say, grabbing the spoon between my forefinger and my thumb and twirl it around in the beans.

" Do it faster. We have to move soon. "

With a deep breath I take a spoonful out, letting some of the extra bean juices drip into the can. Do beans even have bean juices? Or is it a sauce? Can beans expire? If this can of beans is expired I won't eat them. I don't need to get sick again.

" Stop stalling. The beans are fine. " Brenda takes a bite of her own beans and then turns and starts a conversation with Thomas. Something about the way Thomas looks at her makes me feel bad for him. Brenda can't really like him—not yet at least. The wound from losing Noah should be too big and hurting for her to think of anyone else like that.

With a grimace I shove the small spoonful of food in my mouth. I chew it slowly, the smoky flavor of the beans not really helping me get it down. Under normal circumstances, I would be perfectly fine with the flavor. Now it's an effort to keep from gagging.

" It can't be that bad, " Newt says before taking a bite of his own food. He savors it, being careful not to eat too fast and get sick.

My stomach starts to reject the food.

I clamp down on the nausea that hits me, not wanting to throw up in this small and stuffy hallway. The Familiars seem to be enjoying the small amount of food they have. I'd rather not make them lose their appetite. Frypan actually makes a face when he eats the food, like he'd rather have the _delicacies_ we had in the Glade. But he downs the whole can within five minutes and I'm still struggling to swallow the first bite.

" There should be a water bottle in your bag. It might help you get it down. " Newt says and I nod, putting the can of beans down to rummage through the backpack. My hand wraps around it and I take a sip of the warm water, hoping it will help me but it just makes it worse. I manage to get the food down—it slides down my throat and I cringe at the feeling.

" I can't. " I say, putting a hand to my mouth while standing. " I can't "

I stumble away, past Brenda and Thomas and even further down the hall. I can feel the bile rising up to the back of my throat, the acidic taste causing my eyes to water. The smell of sewage isn't helping. The more I walk down this hallway, the stronger the smell becomes. It's making the nausea worse.

I have to brace my arm against the warm concrete of the wall and take deep breaths. My head is swimming and my stomach is flipping. I try to push the nausea down, but it doesn't work. The food I ate is pushed out of my stomach and onto the floor. My shoulders shake as I heave everything I just ate out. I can feel someone move my hair out of the way but I'm too focused on trying to stop my dinner from being spewed out and across the floor.

The first fit passes, and the second on begins. Only, all of the stuff I had eaten is gone so I dry heave, my stomach twisting into knots as it tries to force something up that isn't there. Tears form at the corners of my eyes as I keep gagging. Then it subsides and I'm left leaning against a wall that's partially covered in puke, breathing hard and shuddering.

" Dammit. " I groan as someone rubs my back. I needed that food to stay inside me. Now I'll have no energy left. None. Surviving keeps getting harder and harder.

" I'm okay. " I say, forcing myself to stand up straight. I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth, wishing for a piece of gum or a mint. The taste of smoky, acidic beans will be in my mouth for days.

" Is it really just a bite, Louisa? " Minho asks, still rubbing my back.

" Yea. It'll heal. I'll be fine. " No need to worry them more than they already are. I run my tongue across my teeth and then smile at him, as a reassurance.

He doesn't believe me.

" I promise. I'm okay. " I put the hand that I didn't wipe across my mouth on his arm and start to limp back towards Newt. He's watching us with a frown on his face but he seems like he's spaced out and lost in his thoughts. Why didn't he come over and help me? Did Minho get to it before him? Does Newt not like me anymore?

I clear the stupid thoughts out of my head. There's no reason for me to be having such doubts and insecurities at a time like this. I need to focus on surviving.

But why didn't he…?

Whatever. I can't expect him to be there all the time.

Thomas and Brenda had moved further away from the rest and are having a ' private ' conversation. Brenda catches my glare and opens her mouth to speak as we trudge past, but a sudden explosion makes a crack swim through the ceiling above us. Her eyes drift up and widen.

" Everybody run! " She yells, clambering to her feet and pulling Thomas to his. I run as fast as I can, which is nearly as fast as Minho. My leg throbs but it's either get out of here of be crushed. Another explosion shakes the building causing pieces of the ceiling to fall, nearly crushing Brenda and Thomas. The Familiars are so far ahead of us but when they hear the explosion they look over their shoulder at us just as the ceiling caves in, forcing Minho, Brenda, Thomas, and me to stop or be flattened like a pancake. The last thing I see is the desperate look on Newt's face as he turns back around and sprints towards us.

" Louisa! " I hear Newt yell from the other side of this wall of debris.

" Go! We'll find another way out. " I shout as Minho grabs my hand a pulls me away from Newt and further into the basement of this building. Brenda and Thomas are running behind us. We go through a doorway to the right as another shockwave courses through the building, causing debris to rain down and block Brenda and Thomas from following us.

" Brenda! "

" Go Louisa! Follow the hallways and enter the tunnels. They lead back to the surface. " Her voice fades as she and Thomas run away. I turn towards Minho, breathing hard and out of breath. My heart's thudding in my chest and I feel lightheaded. I have to push through this.

" We have to go. There could be more blasts and our path out could be blocked if we don't move now. " He's not breathing as heavy as me but running through a Maze all day will give you some type of endurance.

" I know, " I say, resting my hands on my knees, " Just give me a moment. "

He opens his mouth to respond but is cut off by a shrill scream that echoes off the walls of this place. A chill runs down my spine as several other voices respond with their own screeches.

I look up at Minho with wide eyes and know that the same thought is running through his mind.

We aren't alone.

…..

I stifle a yawn as my eyes open, focusing on a vacant shelf. I'm still crammed in the small corner I fell asleep in and I let out a breath of relief. I can be a particularly heavy sleeper at times, and this was one of those times. I hadn't realized I was so tired. Watching Louisa must've taken a lot more out of me than I thought.

I grab my bag and stand, stretching my muscles out as I go. I have no idea how long I've been cramped in that small area, but I can tell that the sun is long gone. The moon has taken it's spot, casting it's light into this small storefront. I can use the cover of the night to sneak between buildings and find Newt. Most Cranks don't sleep much—they just kind of collapse from exhaustion when they feel like it then get back up and continue eating people—so I'll still have to be careful.

I scan the store for any signs that someone's been here, but I find none. I nearly trip going to the front windows due to the scattered cans and empty water bottles. The street outside is empty save for the trash that rests on it, occasionally disturbed due to a wild wind that blows through. I listen carefully for the screams of Cranks but don't hear anything. I head for the door…

But I'm stopped due to a distant sound. It wasn't a scream or even the sound of someone shouting. It was the sound of an explosion.

I've never heard of that happening in the Scorch before. I continue walking until I get outside, then I creep along the side of buildings, sticking to the shadows. My mom taught me to blend into the darkness if I wanted to survive. The one time I didn't I almost got abducted by traffickers. What idiot tries to kidnap a seven year old and sell them to a sex trade? Oh, yea. Creepy, middle-aged men that have a child fetish.

Another explosion resonates through out the air, this time closer. Either whatever is happening has moved closer to me, or I've moved closer to it. It's still pretty far away though. I don't think I'll run into it tonight. Perhaps tomorrow. What is it, anyway? Maybe it's WICKED throwing a wrench in their own Trials. That doesn't make sense though. Why would they try to prevent their subjects from completing the Trials if it will give them a cure? All I know is that I'm supposed to make Louisa devoid of hope. Will I be hurting Newt in the process?

No. He can't possibly love a wench like Louisa. She may seem nice but the things she's done in the past overpowers what she's doing right now. She may not remember it but she's still that person. No one can change, no matter how hard they try.

Even if she's like a sister to me.

" Watch out! " Someone yells as I'm tackled from behind. I fall to the ground and scrape my elbow with a grunt.

" What the hell? Get off of me! " I twist and shove the person as hard as I can, making them fall against the pavement with a groan. I didn't even here him walk up to me! The way he's breathing heavily means he was running though. Was I so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't here him? I have to be more careful.

" You were about to get shot! " He yells, gesturing wildly towards a building to our right. " Excuse me for wanting to save a pretty girl's life! "

The sound of a bullet hitting metal pierces my ears, sounding like it came from right beside my head.

" We aren't safe here, " He says, standing and grabbing my hand, dragging me to my feet, " We have to go. "

He takes off in a sprint and I have no choice but to follow him, no matter how much I want to jerk my hand out of his. Who said he could touch me?

But he's leading me away from danger. Or at least I think. He could be leading me towards a trap.

When he turns down an alley I yank my hand out of his and slow to a stop. A piece of red brick crumbles from the building and to the ground as he stops and looks at me, with a confused look on his face. Then he narrows his eyes and walks closer to me and I take a step back.

" Take one more step and I'll gut you like a fish. " I snap.

He laughs and the confused look dissipates into a smile.

" You've changed a bit, Nandini. " He takes another step towards me and I reach in my pocket and draw the small pocket knife out of it.

" Who are you? " I growl as he keeps walking towards me. I can't back up anymore for fear of being in the line of that gunman's fire.

" You don't remember me? " He asks, putting a hand on his heart, " I'm hurt. "

This sarcasm seems familiar. The dirty blonde hair seems familiar too.

" C'mon Nandini, " He's three feet in front of me and staring right at me with bright, green eyes, " I know you remember me. "

My breathing is uneven. This can't be him; my best friend fled to Denver years ago.

But I still utter his name.

" Blake? "

" Atta girl. " He says with a smile I never thought I'd see again. The knife falls from hand and I embrace him, hugging him tight. I swallow back the tears that threaten to form in my eyes. I don't remember him much but what I do remember seems like the best moments of my useless life.

" What are you doing here? " I mumble into his chest. He rests his chin on my head.

" I came looking for my dad. "

I pull away from him and frown at him. " What happened to your dad? "

He shakes his head, " I don't know. He fled here after a meeting with his buddies. " He smiles at me again, reassuring himself more than anything, " I'll find him. I just happened to see that sniper on the roof of that building and then I saw you and decided to warn you. "

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, " And you did such a good job at that. "

" Thank you, " He laughs and I shake my head at him. " What are you doing here? "

" Looking for my brother. "

His expression turns serious, " Newt? " I nod, " What happened to him? "

" WICKED got him. " I say, making an effort to keep my voice from cracking. " I know he's here. He's a part of the second Trials. "

" I've heard of them, " He says, scratching his head, " I can't say I agree with WICKED's methods. "

" I definitely don't. "

" Can I help you look for him? " Blake asks, staring down at me with nothing but sincerity in his eyes. He really means this.

" What about your dad? " I ask as I shift my weight from one foot to the other.

" I want to help you. Besides, maybe my dad is probably following WICKED's subjects around trying to figure out what WICKED is trying to do. "

I nod and bend down to pick up my knife. It's covered in dry blood and too dull to cut anything. It bothers me to cut in self-defense with it because it hurts more. These Cranks were once people—

Wait. I'm a Crank.

" Um, " I say while standing up and pocketing the knife, " Are you immune? "

He blinks as if clearing a thought away, " Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm immune. "

" I don't see any reason to keep you form coming with me, but we have to go now. I've been searching for my brother for years now. I'm not going to lose him just because I ran into an old friend and got distracted. " I start to walk down the alley, away from the sniper. I hear Blake follow me, his footsteps unhurried. I can't help but smile a little.

My old friend is going to help me search for my brother. What's he going to do when he gets there and finds out that I have to break someone? My smile falls. He'll probably hate me, but I'll treasure our friendship while it lasts. I'll be happy and smile and laugh with him on our trip. I'll talk to him about his dad and what's happened in his fourteen years of life so far. It'll be just like old times when we were little.

Then he'll abandon me just like everybody else.

* * *

 **MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE AND IF YOU DON'T CELEBRATE IT HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

 **Nandini's POV was for a friend. She had no idea what I was going to write, just that I was writing something. MERRY CHRISTMAS SWAGMASTER5000**

 **okay. Now I have an announcement but I'll type it after I do the review responses.**

 **{ Review Responses }**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ She has to be tbh. You're right about her not having much more to push. She's going to end up destroying herself if she keeps going like she is. It'll have to help her. Thanks btw! I've got three books left until 100 for the year.**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ I'm so so so happy I inspired you to write. Writing is hard at times, so good luck with your story. I can't wait to see what you're doing with it.**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ WELCOME BACK!**

 **SabinaSsica19 ~ I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.**

 **{ End of Review Responses }**

 **Now for the announcement... I've started revising Fighting Against You, only I'm not doing it on here. Yes, I'll eventually change this one, but I just kind of felt like posting it on Wattpad instead. It's called Fighting Against You, written by Sportsdiamond12. If you want you can check it out, but it's not going to be a priority of mine.**

 **Does Nandini's POV's bother anyone? I know certain POV's can get boring and I don't want that to happen with Nandini because she is my precious character.**

 **OHH yes before I forget I'd like to thank Swagmaster5000 for giving me inspiration for this chapter. BEST INTERNET BUDDY EVEEERR!**

 **I have to go watch a Christmas movie now. Have a good day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I wasn't sure about this chapter.**

* * *

My own look of fear is mirrored on Minho's face. Footsteps are echoing throughout the room in front of us and a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. A shiver racks my spine and I put a finger to my lips, motioning for him to be quiet. His eyebrows raise and for a second I think he doesn't understand, but then he smiles. I roll my eyes. I guess it was kind of obvious that he needed to be quiet.

I step into the room, my leg quivering with exhaustion. Minho follows and we scan the room, searching for the source of the steps. I swallow my fear and creep around the edges of the room and I motion for Minho to go the other way. It looks like he'll protest, but he starts walking the other direction. It's a huge room, with one large shelf loaded with cardboard boxes dividing the right and left. He won't be able to see me, and I won't be able to see him. It makes me anxious, but we'll scan the room quicker this way.

I keep one hand on the warm, gray wall just in case I loose my balance. It's not like I can grab onto it or anything, but it might provide some sort of stabilization. The smell of sewage still remains with us and I crinkle my nose, hating the stench. Something more foul is starting to mix with it, making the smell ten times more potent. It's like a skunk died in a trash can full of rotten pizza.

My hand itches for a weapon. A knife, gun, machete—something I can use to protect myself. The bag that Brenda had made for me was forgotten in the hallway. Now any food or water or weapons that we had packed are gone. I'm back to where I was before.

Just with a friend.

Or a little more than friend but not a boyfriend because I'm hoping someone else be my boyfriend. Yea. That's Minho.

Why am I thinking about this while we are looking for Cranks?

" Louisa! " Minho yells, and I'm spurred into action. " Run! Go! There are too many! "

I'd rather take my chances with them to be honest. I sprint to the end shelf and around it, my breathing hard and the room spinning. He's pinned by a Crank and surrounded by three others. I don't slow as I sprint right towards them. Minho catches my eye.

" Go! " He yells, his face red.

I tackle the Crank that's got him pinned and don't waste time getting my hands around it's thin neck. I squeeze as hard as I can, crushing his vocal cords. I hear some grunts behind me but I lock eyes with this Crank. He wants to live. I can see the will in his eyes. But he hurt Minho. He doesn't deserve to live.

After what seems like forever the light drains from his eyes. I release him and turn around. Minho's fighting back but he's been cornered by the other three. They taunt him with promises of sinking their teeth into his flesh. It gives me energy and I drag one of them away by the back of his ratty shirt. He struggles until he turns to face me, a malicious grin set on his face.

" You. " He says, recognition twisting his face, " Last time I saw you, you promised to save me. Look at what I've become. "

What? He's crazy because I've never seen him.

" This is all _your fault! "_ He screams the last two words and charges me, tackling me to the ground. His hands go to my throat and mine go to his face, gripping the sides. His skin is rough but I feel like I could peel it off. My fingernails dig into the back of his head, drawing warm, sticky blood. His press on to my vocal cords and I choke, a strangled cough escaping me. I twist and snap his neck with a sickening pop and he falls right on top of me, lifeless. I grunt as I push him off and clamber up to my feet and see that Minho has killed one and is punching the other. I stride towards them, a calm feeling entering me.

" Stop punching, Minho. " I stop and Minho does too. He looks up at me curiously, but all I do is lift my uninjured leg and smash it down into the guys head. I feel his skull give away and repeat the same thing until my foot breaks through and crushes his brain, killing him on the spot. His bones must've been weakened from the Flare.

I extend my hand down to Minho and he grabs it. " Are you okay? " I ask. He narrows his eyes at me.

" I told you to run. "

" Did you really think I would? " I pull him to his feet.

" You're too careless with your life, Louisa. " Minho says, then his gaze softens. " Haven't you thought about your future? "

I cross my arms over my chest and start to walk away. " My future is bleak. Might as well go all out now while I still can. "

" You matter. Your future matters. " Minho says, jogging up behind me and putting a hand on my shoulder.

" My future doesn't matter. " I don't stop walking, making for the doorway that's at the end of this room.

" Yes it does. "

" No. It doesn't. "

He squeezes my shoulder so hard, I'm forced to stop walking just feet from the doorway. The dim light that was on flickers and then sputters out, leaving us in darkness.

" Treat yourself with more respect. " He says and I turn to face him, feeling my eyes start to sting.

" You don't understand Minho, " I say, glad that he can't see the redness in my eyes, " You don't understand what it's like to think you don't have a family and then be shoved into one. A brother who would protect you at any costs and a beautiful mother. " I look up at him, feeling my eyes tear up, " I had a mom, Minho. A mother that I was told to protect and I _failed._ I don't deserve respect from anyone. Least of all myself. "

My voice had faded into a whisper. A tear slides down my face and Minho wipes it away. He rests his hand on my cheek then puts his forehead to mine. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to control my breathing. I'm trying so hard not to cry.

" You're right. " He says and I bite my lip to keep it from wobbling, " I don't understand. But I know that Noah wouldn't want you to be so careless. He would want you to live and be happy. So please, live. For everyone. For yourself. For him. "

His words echo inside my head. I remove my forehead from his and put it on his shoulder, an ocean of tears spilling from my eyes. His arms wrap around me, comforting me as I let everything out with the same thought playing in my head like a broken record.

I want my brother back.

It's all I want. I don't care if the Gladers hate me or if the whole world falls. I just want to see my brother again. I want to see him smile as he jokes around with his friends. He needs to be here to help us save the world and he isn't. He's gone. No matter how much I wish for him to be alive, his heart will never beat again. He was the good person—the good sibling. I'm useless and he was ambitious and kind and he didn't deserve what happened.

Why do all the good people meet the worst ends?

" I know nothing is okay right now, " Minho mumbles into my hair, " But I'm here for you, Louisa. "

" Thank you, " The words are muffled against his shirt but he understands well enough. " Thank you so much. "

I don't think he grasps the concept that his silent presence is worth more than a thousand words of empty promises and consolation. Him simply being there to listen would be more than enough.

" Philip? " A creaky voice says from behind Minho, " Philip, where are you? "

The lady's voice is pained.

" We were going to eat the intruders, remember? " She says and then it sounds like she stumbles over something. I hear her hand slap the concrete as she prevents herself from face planting. " Ph-philip…? "

I grab Minho's hand and pull him through the doorway, away from the Crank. I wish the lights hadn't gone off because I'm tripping over any and everything and Minho nearly walks right into me. I trip over a step and scrape my knee but I stand and keep going, ignoring the dizziness that causes me to sway.

" Where are you?" The lady screams, her voice too close for comfort, " I'll kill you! "

I take off into a sprint.

….

I hadn't realized how much I'd missed having someone around that I knew I could count on. Blake is that person. I've distanced myself a lot, trying to make sure I don't think he'll be staying for long. We'll probably find my brother and then he'll leave once he finds out who I am. _What_ I am.

I keep trying to tell myself I don't care.

It's not working.

" Are you sure you want to head in the direction of the explosion? Isn't that running towards danger? " Blake asks, looking over at me as we make our way towards where we thought the loud sounds came from. The Scorch is quiet most of the time. Explosions never happen. If those idiots are anywhere it would be near there.

" That's what I do. " I shrug and casually rest my hand on my knife handle.

" Where have you been all these years? " His gaze trails down to my hand and back up to my eyes.

" Here. " I look up at the stars that dot the sky, silvery yellow and shining. I've seen them so many times-with family, friends. Just not recently. Not since WICKED.

" And you're still alive? " He shoves his hands in the pockets of his pants.

Not really. " Yea. Anybody gets in my way I cut a bitch. "

He laughs. " That's a good way to survive. " Blake says but his faint smile fades into a frown, " But a lonely one too. Pushing away everyone around you? "

" The only person that matters is Newt. " I say, my mouth setting in a thin line, " The rest could go die for all I care. "

We cross the street and enter a building that looks run-down. The wood on the inside is splintering and the glass is shattered. Sand blows everywhere and I shield my face with my hand.

" Surely you don't mean that. " He says as we enter the back room and head towards the stairs.

" They're all Cranks. Infected and dying. Why should I care what happens to them? "

He puts a hand on my arm, causing me to stop walking. " They're _people,_ Nandini. "

" That eat other people. They just seem so nice, don't they? " I push past him and go down the dark, metal stairs, cringing when my feet make loud clanking noises. If there was anyone here, they certainly know about us now.

" I suppose that if you've been raised here you learn to fend for yourself. " Blake unquestioningly follows me into the dark and I roll my eyes. How could he think like that after the heartless things I just said? I don't feel like the Cranks are just mindless animals. They were once people. Did he see through my lie?

" How was Denver? " I ask him, crossing my arms over my chest and wishing I'd brought some sort of light. It's so dark. Pitch black just about.

" Kind of cold. " Is all he replies with. I loose a sigh, wanting to know more but not wanting to pry. Honestly, I know so little about Blake. He could have grown up to become a murderer or something and I wouldn't know. That's unlikely though. We're both still kids.

But how many people have I killed just to survive?

That doesn't matter. Normal rules and laws don't apply out here in the Scorch. Anybody can be as twisted and cruel as they want and they won't be punished for it. Unless, of course, you upset the ' leader ' here. He calls himself King Crank just because he has an unlimited supply of the Bliss. So many people have tried to steal it but he just slaughters them all. It's made people scared of him. It's made him a tyrant.

" How long has it been since you've seen your brother? "

" Too long. " I keep my reply simple. It hurts to think about how long it's been.

" That's not an answer. " He says and I nearly groan. He obviously doesn't have any issues about prying.

" Six years. " I say, clenching my fists. " I was seven when they took him. "

" You were seven? " I stop hearing his footsteps behind me and I have to stop walking. There's pity in his voice. It disgusts me.

" Seven was a rough age for me. " I let out a shaky laugh and hope he doesn't ask anything else. Sweat drips down my face because of the stuffiness in the hallway and I reach up to wipe it away.

" You didn't just lose your brother, did you? " I can hear his slow footsteps approaching me from behind. How does he know that? It's probably just a guess, but how?

" I lost my family. " _And my humanity._

He's silent.

That's a first.

I keep walking but I don't hear his footsteps behind me. Fine then. He can get left behind if he wants to. No one said he had to come with me—he just decided to by himself. He could change his mind at any point and I wouldn't care. He's just someone I'm using as a body guard. Not a friend.

Definitely not a friend.

I feel something grab my wrist. I try to pull myself free but their grip tightens to the point of pain. A moment of panic overwhelms me and I open my mouth, but close it. _I won't scream out for Blake's help. I can do this myself._ I use my other hand to hit where I think would be the bend in the person's elbow, but they use their other hand and catch my wrist before I can. I kick, connecting with what feels like a shin and I hear a grunt, but then two more hands grab my ankles.

Dammit.

" Blake! " I scream and the peoples' grip tightens on me even more. " Help! "

" Nandini? " I can hear him running towards where I am, but I'm being pulled into the shadows. He won't make it.

A rope is tied around my hands and feet and they clamp a hand over my mouth. I try to scream but it comes out muffled.

I'm being kidnapped.

Again.

" Nandini, where are you? " He yells, his voice so close but so far. The hand on my mouth leaves and I take a breath to scream his name but a cloth is shoved in my mouth like a gag. I struggle against the ropes but one of them picks me up and throws me over their shoulder. I hit his back as hard as I can, but what damage can a weak thirteen year old girl do?

" Knock her out. " He says when he gets annoyed. The other person laughs as he raises his fist. How could I not have seen these two? It was pitch black but I should have known.

" Nandini! " Blake screams from somewhere further in the building. He should really stop that. He'll get himself caught.

It's the last thing I hear as I feel a sharp pain in my head and the world fades to an even darker shade of black.

 _I hope Blake is okay._

 _..._

" We have to go back! " I yell, grabbing Jorge by the shoulder. He turns and growls at me, his eyes aflame.

" Brenda knows the way out. They're perfectly safe. " We continue on our path through the Scorch. The sun still hasn't come up, and I haven't had any sleep in ages. Even if I tried I wouldn't be able to. Louisa is down there with Minho and Thomas. Those two shanks I can trust.

Brenda...not so much.

There's something off about Brenda and Jorge. It could be because they're Cranks but I just don't trust them. Now, Louisa is stuck in those tunnels with her. Not only that but Louisa had just finished puking her guts out. How well is she? Is she able to run?

I look up at the hundreds of stars that dot the sky. Minho and Thomas are stuck down there too. Three people I care about most are in danger. If I had been there to comfort Louisa when she lost her dinner then I would be stuck down there with them. I could make sure they are safe.

Instead, my best friend helped her and got stuck with her.

" What's down there? " I ask.

" Cranks. " Jorge replies as he ducks under a steel light pole that's leaning against a building.

I clench my fists.

Those shanks had better come back to us alive.

* * *

 **I really wasn't sure about this chapter. It just seemed off-wasn't what I wanted. Eh. Oh well.**

 **I feel like this story is stretching on further than Fighting Against You did. Do you think I'll get more than 100,000 words on this story? I think so.**

 **Does it bother you all when I switch POV's?**

 **{ Review Responses }**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ Hehehe**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ I'm trying to make sure I do his character right. I've had to write down all his traits and figure out how he would respond in certain situations. Also, thank you.**

 **SabinaSsica19 ~ Thank you! And me too, but I don't know how I'm going to do that yet. I try not to think about it too much because it makes me cry.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ I don't think it's dead quite yet, but it is teetering on the edge of a cliff. Then you've got Nandini that's supposed to go in and break that, so maybe. I don't know quite yet. I figure the details out as I write. I let the characters guide the story. Minhlo is flowing really well right now though. Also shall I try to create a ship name for Nandini and Blake just in case...? And I reached my goal. I've surpassed it actually. 108 read for the year.**

 **mazerunner26 ~ Thank you.**

 **{ End of Review Responses }**

 **I have physical therapy now so I really have to go. I'll see you all next year. Happy New Years!**


	23. Chapter 23

**SURPRISE**

 **HEY HI HELLO**

 **HAPPY NEW YEAR**

* * *

I don't know how Minho and I got into this position. One second were running and the next he's pulling me into a closet he saw. It's small and cramped—I don't even know if you could call it a closet. I'm just aware that I'm flush against Minho, his chest on my back. _This is just for survival. Just for survival._ His arms lift and wrap around the top of my chest. Great. Now he can probably feel how fast my heart is beating.

" Sorry, " He whispers into my ear, " It's more comfortable this way. "

I nod my head to show that I heard him but my mind is in a completely different place. For some reason, even though my life is in danger and there's a crazed Crank lady chasing us, I can only wonder if Newt is okay. Did he get out of the building okay?

Minho is too close. I know I said I loved him, but do I really? I should feel differently about this situation if I did. I should be breathless considering how his arms are wrapped around me, but all I feel is annoyance. Distance, Minho. He's too close. It's suffocating. Everything is suffocating.

But I can't move because of the Crank hunting us down.

My leg is quivering. All I want to do is collapse to my knees to give my legs a break, but there isn't enough room. This musty place wouldn't allow it as long as Minho's in here pushed up against me like he—

Why am I so dizzy?

I bring my hand up and clench Minho's arm, trying to stop the walls from moving.

" Minho… " The word comes out quiet, " I don't feel so good. "

" Keep it together, Louisa. " He says, " We just have to wait a little longer. "

He's right. The Cranks' screams are fading. But, I'm so tired.

Minho's shaking me. He's whispering in my ear as loud as he dares, but the words don't register in my mind. A thick haze has settled over everything making it impossible to decipher what's going on. My eyelids feel heavy and my knees feel like bags of water, unable to withstand my body weight any longer.

When sleep comes drifting towards me, lazy and taunting, I fall into it's warm embrace.

…..

 _At first, there was darkness. Cold and heavy, weighing down on my shoulders and keeping me from standing. A shiver worms it's way down my spine and I push against the force, hearing voices call out my name, pleading, begging. They're full of pain and longing and sadness. They echo in my mind, sapping the strength from my bones and I fall to the ground again._

 _A feeling of uselessness overtakes me and I stop struggling against whatever is pushing me down. This is what I should do. Lay down and let whatever happens happen. Why did I ever try to go against WICKED in the first place? I'm hopeless and dying. They're a strong facility with hundreds of people working for them._

 _The odds have been stacked against me. I was doomed to fail from the start._

" _Useless wench. " I hear my mom say. My shoulders shake as I sob. " I should've let you die when you got sick. "_

 _Even my mom agrees._

 _I should just die._

 _Stop fighting the infection and let death take me. Anything would be better than watching the people I love suffer. What even happens after death? Do heaven and hell exist? Is it just going to be this insufferable darkness for eternity?_

 _I'm tired._

 _Not in the sense that I need sleep. I'm tired of trying to live—to survive. My entire family is dead and Newt has the Flare. I failed. My shoulders relax as I stop fighting. Giving up would be so easy. I could just lay here on the cold ground forever._

" _Get up. " I hear Noah say. I lift my head and look at him, feeling my heart contract. " Get up you stupid bitch. "_

 _He grabs my forearm with a cold hand and pulls me to my feet._

" _You failed. So make up for it. "_

 _I shake my head no. I don't deserve to live._

" _Make the world a better place. Get the cure for the Flare and save people! Repent! " He strides forwards and grabs my shoulders and shakes them. His dead, green eyes pierce into mine as he raises his voice:_

" _Wake your ass up and make my death mean something! "_

 _I fall into his arms and sob. He's right. I can't die. If I do I would be failing him even more. " I'm so sorry, Noah. "_

 _He puts his hand on my head and smooths down my hair. His touch is cold and faint, nothing like it was when he was alive, but it's there. His presence starts to fade and panic causes my stomach to lurch. He can't go yet. I'm not ready yet. I need him._

 _" Please. Don't leave me. Please. " I plead but he's still fading. I hold onto him tighter as if I could keep him from leaving._

" _Live, Louisa. "_

 _Then his presence is gone and I'm left a sobbing mess, his words ringing in my ears._

… _._

As much time as I've spent in the sun, you'd think I would be used to it. But the sun in the Scorch is something else entirely. It beats down on us, sapping our energy and leaving us dreary and exhausted. The only thing that keeps me alert is the fact that _she's_ still missing.

They're all still missing.

Trapped in some underground place with relentless pursuers. The few people I've come to care about aren't safe and there's nothing I can do to help them. Louisa has done so much for us—so has Thomas and Minho. But we can't even help those who saved us from a life stuck inside those walls.

Kind of pathetic if you ask me.

" They'll be okay, Newt. " Frypan says, looking at me with doubt, " You know Louisa. She won't give up without a fight. "

What if that's the problem?

She's been fighting for so long. When I tried to confront her about it she threw flour in my face and it had completely slipped my mind until now. _You're carrying too much Louisa. I can see you breaking._ I still can. With each day she cracks a little more. Soon enough, there will be nothing left for any of us to love or care for. She'll be an empty husk, walking around broken and lost. One day I fear I won't be able to protect her.

" I guess not. " I say with a shrug, trying to seem apathetic so no one else sees a reason to stress.

" Minho would sooner shave his head bald than let that girl get hurt, " He comments with a small smile, " You have no reason to worry about those two. Thomas is pretty capable himself. They'll be—"

Frypan is interrupted by someone yelling.

Not just someone.

 _Minho._

And Louisa is on his back, unconscious and pale.

I don't waste time turning and sprinting towards them. The cracked pavement threatens to trip me but I stay on my feet, keeping my eyes on those two as if they could disappear. Minho looks exhausted, as if he could collapse at any given second. He squints against the setting sun at my back and raises a dirt and blood covered hand to shield his eyes.

As soon as I get close enough to them a barrage of questions leaves my mouth. " Are you two okay? Why is Louisa so pale? Why is there blood on your hand? Where are Thomas and Brenda? " Minho falls to his knees, " Blood hell, Minho! Answer my damn questions! " I drop next to him and grab him by the shoulders, like I could shake some sense into him. But he _did_ just get hit by lightning. Who knows how long he was carrying Louisa like this? He needs water, and rest.

Louisa falls from his shoulders and lands on the ground with a light thud. I can hear people behind me, running towards us, but I can't stop staring at the girl I love reduced to such a weak state. Her face looks wet, as though she's been crying but I suspect it's from sweat. Her brows are creased together and she's frowning, the only sign that she's alive. If it weren't for that, I would assume she's dead.

Minho catches my eyes and shrugs. He doesn't know what happened to Louisa.

" Tsk, " Jorge says as he looks down at Louisa, " I told that girl. "

" Told her what? " I ask. Aris looks down at Louisa with a strange satisfaction on his face. I scowl at him and then at Jorge.

" That she was dying. " He crosses his arms over his chest, " She obviously didn't listen. "

 _I'm dying, Newt…_

She told me. And I barely remembered it—barely paid any attention to it.

Jorge crouches down next to her and unravels the bandage on her leg. I'm tense the whole time and Minho eyes him with distaste and a silent threat that if he did anything to her, he wouldn't live to see tomorrow.

" Is there a way to save her? " I ask, but Jorge ignores me. Instead he turns to the glaring Minho.

" How long has she been out? "

Minho barely spares the energy to shrug. " Lost track of time. Best guess is a day. "

I shake my head. That's too long. I don't care how strong she thinks she is, she needs help. I glance down at her leg and grit my teeth. It's as if her skin surrounding the teethmarks is dying. Red and puss filled, but slightly green and pale at the same time. I want to scream at her for not showing us this; for not telling us how bad it really was. How can I protect her if she doesn't tell me what's wrong?

" Can you save her? " I ask, knowing the situation is dire. Jorge's mouth presses into a thin line and he slowly nods his head.

" But, it's a risk. She could die from loss of blood. "

 _Loss of blood?_

" Just what are you planning to do? " Frypan asks, his eyes looking anywhere but Louisa. Jorge pulls a long knife out of his bag as he replies.

" We have to cut her leg off before the infection spreads. "

I nearly choke.

" Cutting her _leg off? "_ Minho says, " No way. "

Jorge narrows his eyes at him. " It's the only way. It's either cut her leg off or she dies from the infection tomorrow. "

It's the only way, I know it is. We won't make it through the Scorch in time for WICKED to save her. Who even knows if WICKED would save her?

There's no guarantee that she would survive the amputation, either. She's likely to die either way. How did she even get that bite? How long was she in the Scorch by herself before Brenda and Jorge saved her?

I just don't want to lose her.

" It's the only way. " I say and Minho glares at me too. " Let's take her into that building and do it there. Besides, we should rest. "

I hate what I'm about to do.

Everyone nods in agreement but Minho just stares at me, baffled. He's probably wondering how I could do such a thing to someone I love, but the answer is simple enough.

I just want to save her.

I pick her up and stand, her head automatically going to my shoulder. I step over fallen street signs and mounds of sand that's blown in and make my way towards the abandoned building. Behind me, Frypan helps Minho up and they follow me. I cringe when I step on shards of broken glass, but enter the small shop seconds later.

I ignore the metal shelving and scattered cans of soda as I go to the musty storage room. The thicker walls might muffle Louisa's screams when she feels her leg being sawed off.

My stomach drops as I set her down. I'm making myself sick. _How could I even think like that?_

I shake my head. Jorge said it would save her life. This is a risk I'm willing to take.

Or at least, that's what I tell myself as everyone else files in here and Jorge kneels next to Louisa's injured leg.

" Hold her down. She might wake up and start thrashing. "

As if on cue, Louisa's eyes flutter open as I'm trying to settle in next to her, my hand on her shoulder. She winces and brings a hand up to cover her face. She looks like she's been run ragged. A tear falls and she wipes it away, then her eyes focus on me.

" Newt? " She breathes out, a slow hand moving up to cup my face. I force myself to smile at her. " What's wrong? "

Then she looks at Jorge with his knife hovering just above her kneecap.

" What the hell? "

….

How did I let myself get in this situation?

I was too careless. I was distracted by Blake and possibilities of recovering a forgotten friendship and how likely it was that he would betray me. Now I'm suffering the consequences of letting myself feel something besides sorrow.

I'm staring into the faces of the people who kidnapped me.

They're snickering to themselves, obviously happy with how well they'd done. The one with auburn hair and freckles dotting his skin won't take his eyes off of me and the other is smoking. We stopped a while ago so they could relieve themselves—or at least that was what I thought. It's been nearly two hours since we stopped and they seem excited. Too excited for this to be a simple bathroom break.

" Where are you taking me? " I demand, wishing I hadn't let them take my knife. The rope around my wrists is chafing and I can feel the skin rubbing raw. They took the gag out a while ago, something I was thankful for.

The man with dark hair and a scruffy beard looks over at me and smirks, the cigarette hanging out of his mouth. " Somewhere you will get the best treatment you could ask for. "

" Oh yea? " I ask leaning towards them, " Why do I not believe you? "

The man barks out a laugh. " Because you're smart. "

The concrete stairs are hard on my butt. My tailbone is starting to ache. I turn my eyes to the sky, where the sun has started to go down causing it to look like a deep purple mixed with orange. Whatever is supposed to happen better happen soon. I feel exposed out here in the open like this. I don't like it. The night will only make it worse.

Then I hear the footsteps.

I try to shrink myself, but it doesn't work. Whatever is about to happen is going to scare the hell out of me, but I have to act rational. Nothing risky or danger-imposing.

So when someone puts a rough hand on my shoulder I jerk my elbow up and hit them in the nose.

The man stumbles away with a groan, holding his nose as I turn to face him. I don't give him time to dodge as I try to ram my hands into his face, but someone grabs my arm, yanking it back. I feel a pull in my shoulder and the ropes rub the raw spots on my wrist, causing me to wince.

" Stupid bitch! " The man I hit in the face hisses in a nasally voice. I smirk.

" You snuck up on me. " I ignore how fast my heart's beating. _Stay strong._ Some people like to make themselves seem small or weak so that they don't attract attention and thus get attacked. Me, well I like to let people know I'm there and that I will stab them if they test me.

But right now I really wish I wasn't getting the attention of three men.

The man I hurt smiles, his dark eyes glinting. " Oh, he'll like her. "

Shit.

" I'll shank his ass. " I say, fighting against the ropes and the man gripping my arms. He simply tightens his grip until I feel something snap and I grit my teeth. The man in front of me takes a step closer, his bloody hand coming up to cup my face. I flinch against it, pulling my head away but he doesn't stop. A sticky hand lands on my face, his fingers trailing on my jaw line.

The natural thing to do is bite him.

But who knows where he's been?

" You are perfect for him. " His hand leaves my face and he wipes it on my shirt. He wipes _his_ blood on _my_ shirt. With a snarl I bring my legs up, using the man gripping my arms for stability as I knee the guy in his stomach. He huddles over, the wind knocked out of him.

" Touch me again and I'll kill you, you sick son of a— "

" Now, now. " He wheezes out. " Is that anyway to speak to the man who's taking you to your father? "

That sets me back. My… Father?

" You're lying. My father is dead. " I say, though I doubt my own statement. My dad simply ran away. How could I know if he died?

A harsh laugh leaves the man's mouth. " He paid us to find you and get you to him in one piece. "

I shake my head. No. It's impossible….I think.

" You aren't doing a very good job, then. " I say, pain lacing through my elbow and trailing up to my shoulder and down through my fingertips. Knowing my luck, they probably crushed a tendon or something.

" He never said unharmed. " The man straightens and grabs my hurt arms, causing me to gasp. " Do as we say and you'll get there without anymore bruises. "

I spit at the man's feet. " Who the hell are you to think you have control over me? " I growl, " Let. Me. Go. "

" Do you not want to see your father? " He asks as I feel someone grab my hair and pull my head back. The man seems to revel in the pained gasp.

" Where are we going? " I ask, letting the anger from my voice dissolve into curiousness. He smiles, showing the blood in his teeth. The man behind me releases my hair, but they don't release my arms.

" The main building in the Scorch. " The wind blows, stirring up sand and causing his dark hair to leave his shoulders. The main building? That's barely even ten minutes from here. Why did we stop?

" What are we waiting for? " I ask, " Let's go. "

What is my father thinking? Wait, no. He's not even alive. This is a trap. And yet…

" Just a moment, girly. " The man grabs my wrist, pulling me out of his partner's grasp and forward, causing me to fall into him. My eyes go wide and struggle, but his grip is too strong. " He never said we couldn't have any fun. "

A shiver goes down my spine. My heart lurches to my throat and I push off with my feet, but they're tied together and I stumble and fall, landing on the ground. He laughs, watching as I try to scramble away. My ankles are burning and the sand is hot under my elbows. He strides forward, anger, amusement, and lust swirling in his eyes. I cringe and try to scoot back but he straddles me and starts unbuttoning my pants.

 _Do something, Nandini._

" Are you sure this is a good idea? " One of his friends say. He glances over his shoulder and narrows his eyes at them. I swallow my fear and use the slight distraction to reach for a rock about a foot away from me. My fingers brush it's warm surface and I stretch a bit further, causing the pain in my arm to flare. My hand wraps around it.

As the man turns back around to rape me, I bash the rock into his skull. He falls, limp on top of me. I shove him off with a groan and stand, wobbling on unbalanced feet. The other two are looking at me, bewildered. I smile at them and then I see something glint in the moonlight, flying straight towards one of their faces.

Then blood sprays from the man's eye and stains his freckled face. My eyes widen and his friend yells, his head whipping around to find the knife. I duck, leaning against the side of a car for cover. Is it the sniper from before? What the hell is going on?

The other man falls with a thud.

Now what do I do?

I can't move for fear of whatever killed them seeing me. I can't just stay here and wait him out—other Cranks will see me and attack. I'm stuck. Should I risk my life and run? But I can't even run. If I try I'll trip over the rope around my feet. I can't reach my knife to cut it. What am I going to—

" Nandini? " I hear someone ask as a pair of feet enter my vision. It's Blake. I release a breath and stand.

" Can you help me get these stupid ropes off? " He nods and uses a third knife to slice the rope off. _How many knives does this guy have?_

The grinding motion causes the rope to rub my wrists again and I hiss through gritted teeth. After one last motion the rope comes free and falls to the ground. I frown at the blisters on my wrists.

" Are you okay? " He asks, bending down to cut the ropes around my ankles. I flinch as he knife brushes my skin, but doesn't cut it.

" I'm fine. " I say, then I remember I should probably button my pants. I do it quickly while he's looking away, my fingers shaky from what just happened. My life was in danger. Not an uncommon thing, but surprisingly, no one has gone _that_ far.

" Are you sure? " He asks, standing and sliding his knife in a sheath.

 _No._ " Yea. "

His eyes linger on my face, then they go to my wrists. He opens his mouth to speak but I don't let him. I push past him and towards the two guys that have his knives sticking out of them, and mine somewhere on them. I don't want to touch these scumbags but I pull Blake's knives out of them and wipe them on my pants. I keep them in one hand while I search for my knife, finding it in the boot of the auburn haired boy.

" Here, " I say, turning around and handing Blake his knives. " We have to go. "

" You were kidnapped. We need to slow down and take a breather. " He says his hand moving towards mine but I busy myself, checking my knife for any nicks in the blade. He frowns but doesn't say anything else.

" I don't— " I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes shut, " I've never been this close to finding my brother. I'd like to find him as soon as possible. "

I put my knife in the empty sheath that's on my hip and start to walk away. Then I feel a hand grab my forearm and I wince. It aches.

" I knew it. " He mumbles as he pulls me back. I don't hesitate, for fear of hurting my arm further. He sits me down on some stairs next to an old building and examines my arm. It's swollen but other than that I can't see anything wrong. But I can definitely feel something wrong. It hurts so much.

Then he presses on an area right below the inside of my elbow. I bite back a scream.

" Did that hurt? " He asks, his brows furrowed in concentration.

" No. " I say, " Let's go. "

" Liar. " He says, releasing my arm. " There's definitely some muscle damage. You probably tore something. There's nothing we can do. "

" How do you know? " I ask, trying not to look into his eyes. Just a body guard. If he hadn't been there just a second ago…. I would probably be on my way to my father. Which may sound like a good thing, but really, it isn't.

" My dad taught me some things about medicine. " He says, brushing his pants off as he stands. I do the same, frowning down at the blood on my pants and shirt. _Gross._

" We need to head towards the direction of the explosions, but I don't remember where that is. " I say, looking up at the starry sky and slowly turning. Was it that way?

" I remember. " Blake says and I look down to see a mischievous grin playing on his lips.

" Well then, what are we waiting for? " I cross my arms over my chest. I hear a Crank's screams fill the night, distant, so I don't worry.

" I'll only take you if you let me hold your hand. " He holds his hand out, waiting for me to take it and knowing I won't refuse. I resist groaning. This—this is not what I signed up for when I let him come along. He can't just make my stomach erupt into a flurry of butterflies. He's not supposed to flirt with me. I'm supposed to be focused on my brother, not Blake and how he can make my heart speed up with a single sentence. I can't let myself get attached.

And yet, when I take his hand and see his smiling face, I can't help but smile too.

* * *

 **I'M VERY HAPPY I GOT THIS CHAPTER OUT AND I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT HOW UNDERSTANDING YOU ALL ARE. I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL A HUG.**

 **Anyway, let's talk about the story. I'm hope you don't mind that a little over half of this was Nandini's POV. I've grown to like writing in her POV. Im sorry about the way I left Newt's POV and Louisa's.**

 **Louisa is in a bit of a situation. She's about to get her leg chopped off. How will she react? How will everyone else react? I don't know. Just kidding I do know but I'm not going to tell you.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **fiercetiger333 ~ Sorry I didn't update sooner.**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ YAAAS THANK YOU**

 **GabbyKeyes9 ~ I want Lewt to heal too. Also thanks for your understanding about my wrist.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ Thanks! I'm glad Minho and Louisa made it out of there unscathed too. Blake was out there searching for his ' friend ' * cough cough * and he found her so yay! Newt really does care about them and it makes me want to hug him and tell him that everything will be okay. Also thanks for the ship names! They're all pretty good. And everything would feel forced if I pushed my characters to do something they wouldn't normally do. I'm glad you like the story.**

 **The Tezzerax ~ I've got tendinitis in my right wrist, and I'm wearing a compression sleeve and occasionally a brace. It's not as inflamed but I'm still going to hold off on typing.**

 **Something like me ~ I may have pushed myself writing this. It's just.. I hate making people wait for the next chapter of a fan fiction so I tend to write anywhere between 2000 - 10,000 words a day ( I have three fics going at the moment ) and now I'm only allowed to type 200 words a day. It makes me want to scream.**

 **Becka21214 ~ Thank you. I'm praying my wrist gets better soon as well. I hope you liked this chapter.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **UGH! Writing this author's note has made my wrist hurt. I think I'm going to scream.**

 **You all are lucky I had almost a complete chapter written. If I hadn't, this wouldn't be up and you would be without Louisa for a little while. I've also started another fanfic, called Running From My Past and Into Your Arms, which I will update before this one, ( no offense but I'm trying to alternate which one I update so they both get done ) and that should take me a couple of days, and then Chapter 24 on this story will take a couple of days.**

 **I'm sorry if I don't update frequently. I have my first practice in four months this weekend, and I'd like to be ready for it. I just want to give you all cookies because you may be pissed about me not updating but you're supportive. I LOVE YOU ALL!**

 **Have a nice day, morning, evening, afternoon, night, I'm going to go do some stretches and then read.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Heyyyo**

* * *

" What are you doing? " I growl, my eyes wide as they dart between Newt and Jorge. Minho is leaning against the wall, his eyes squeezed shut. He's covered in sweat and dirt from the trek out of the tunnels. He must've carried me the entire way on his scorched back.

But right now, that's not my focus.

" Just, calm down Louisa. " Newt says, squeezing my shoulders.

" Calm down? Yeah, sure. I'll calm down as soon as Jorge moves his knife away from my damn leg! " I struggle to sit up, but Newt is stronger than me, especially since my energy is low and I haven't eaten.

" The infection is killing you. You'll die from it soon. If we amputate it, that probability decreases. " Newt says, trying to be reassuring in his tone but I just narrow my eyes at him.

" So, blood loss isn't going to kill me? "

" Not if we cauterize the wound. " Jorge says as he moves his knife away and pulls his pack off his shoulders. Newt moves his hands off me and I sit up, scooting back until I hit a wall. Fear is thrumming through my veins, hot and scorching. My breathing is rapid and each inhale burns my lungs like the air is made of sand. They _can't_ cut my leg off. I won't be able to walk.

" Why? " I ask in a breathless voice. Aris seems to be enjoying this, thoroughly. Why does he wish I would suffer? Frypan is looking on with pitying eyes, but he isn't making a move to prevent anything from happening. Clint is just frowning at the ground.

" I told you I'd do anything to stave the infection off. " Jorge pulls a lighter from his bag and looks over at Frypan, " Go get something flammable. "

My hands are trembling. " You can't. "

" Newt, hold her down. "

He moves to straddle my hips and puts his hands on my shoulders. I look up at him, disbelieving. How could he do this? His brown eyes stay locked on my grey ones, every bit of his apology evident on his face.

" Please. " I whisper, clenching my fists so hard my nails break the skin on my palm with a bitter sting. I feel the presence of the knife hovering over my leg, " Don't do this! Please! " I yell.

I hear the sound of the knife cutting through air before the pain registers.

I scream as the knife hits the bone just above my knee. Tears spring into my eyes and leave trails through the dirt on my face. " Stop! Please stop! "

Jorge raises his knife and brings it down again, sending searing pain through my leg. My back arches and my hips buck, trying to throw Newt off so I could do something to stop Jorge, but Newt's too heavy.

Why won't Minho stop them? Why is Newt helping Jorge?

The bone splinters and cracks as Jorge severs through it.

Black spots swim across my vision and I fight to stay conscious as blinding, agonizing pain surges through my leg and spine.

" I'll never forgive any of you! " I force the words out through a throat that's trying to close up. Newt closes his eyes and rests his forehead on the dirty wall behind me, his hands squeezing my shoulders. I bring my hands up and try to push him off, but it's a feeble attempt.

I promised my brother. I promised him. I can't do it like this. WICKED took my family from me, my life and my freedom. But Jorge's taking my leg from me. And the people I love are helping him.

They're betraying me.

Sobs rack my body as Jorge's knife comes down one last time, excruciating pain, and then I lose consciousness.

…..

My eyes snap open to the sharp tang of blood. There's a pool of it, stretching towards me, dark and thick. Clint—the Med-jack that saw blood on a daily basis—is pale and he seems to be focusing on his breathing, but it isn't doing much good. I suck in a breath and look at the body the blood is coming from.

My heart stops dead in my chest.

Those bastards actually did it.

I can see the bone and sinew of Louisa's leg as blood pours from it. Frypan hurries in and takes one place before he turns away and hurls his guts into the floor. Then he throws dry cloths at Jorge and leaves.

How had her screaming not woken me up?

I couldn't protect her. Newt said he would, and then he goes and chops her leg off. I didn't think he'd go through with it. I trusted that my friend would want to protect the girl he _loves._ And he didn't. Instead, from what I can tell as he straddles her rests his head against the wall, he held her down.

" Why did you do it? " I ask, pushing myself up to my feet. I was exhausted when they found me—I'm lucky I didn't fall asleep laying on the pavement out there. I shouldn't have let myself sleep. Now Louisa is missing half her leg.

" We had to. " Newt replies, his voice shaky. Jorge lights the cloth Frypan gave him with a lighter, and holds it to Louisa's leg, burning the muscle and skin. The smell of burning flesh fills the room, making me gag. It smells rancid. I avert my eyes to the gray wall only to see blood splattered on it. _Louisa's blood._

" You're an ass, Newt. Her life isn't something you can gamble. It's precious—even if she doesn't see it herself. " I say through the sweaty hand that's covering my mouth.

" I helped Jorgeto save her life. " Newt's voice is strained as he stands and tries to leave the room, but as he passes me I grab his wrist.

" You did this to her. You _aren't leaving. "_

He just yanks his hand out of mine and goes to leave the room, his eyes downcast and fists clenched. I grit my teeth as I look at the pained expression on Louisa's face. Her eyebrows are drawn together, her mouth set in a grimace. I can't help but be thankful she blacked out. If she were awake….

I wouldn't be able to listen to her screams.

Newt walks back in, his face set in shock.

" What the hell ha— " That's when I see the two extra pairs of feet behind him. I instinctively stand, moving to block Louisa from the strangers' views, but the smell is something I can't hide. I find two kids—that look thirteen-ish—one with blisters lining her wrists and another who's slightly standing in front of her, his posture tense.

Isn't that Newt's sister? The one with the brown hair and eyes.

" Did you finally decide to fillet that bitch? " She pushes past her friend who just stares at her with wide eyes as she stands, her toes just barely touching Louisa's puddle of blood. Definitely Newt's sister. The British accent is a dead giveaway. I narrow my eyes at her.

Newt glares at his sister. " She's not a bitch, Nandini. She's my… "

The girl, Nandini tears her eyes away from Louisa to smirk over her shoulder at her brother, " Your what? "

Newt shakes his head. I answer for him, " She's someone who's saved our asses more times than I care to admit. " I take a step closer to her as she crosses her arms over her chest, " Who the hell are you? "

" I'm Nandini. Newt's sister. I would really prefer to cut the crap and all the idle threats so I can talk to my brother. " She glances at the blond-haired boy next to her, " You stay here. "

He opens his mouth to protest, but reluctantly nods his head. Nandini grabs Newt's arm and pulls him out of the room, the features on her face morphing into something I don't quite catch. The boy leans against the doorframe, looking at them as they go to the other side of the building. I keep my eye on the kid, and the blades that are sheathed at his sides. I had wanted to get out of the Scorch as soon as possible with as little obstacles as possible.

But it seems thats like hoping WICKED will let us all go.

Impossible.

….

I did it. I actually did it.

My brother is standing in front of me, relatively unharmed save for a couple bruises and some shallow cuts.

 _My brother._

He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at me. How many years has it been? Six? I've gone that long, missing my family. Now, I've recovered a small piece of that—even if he doesn't remember me.

" I was wondering where you went. What happened? " He says, glancing down at my wrists. I shrug.

" I got kidnapped. No big deal. " Whatever happened to get me here was worth it.

He shakes his head and braces his hand on the dusty counter. He looks exhausted. There are bags under his eyes and he looks frail; they all do. Not to mention Louisa, the bloody mess on the floor. I managed to hide my reaction, but the smell was nauseating. I saw Blake pale a little out of the corner of my eye, but he managed to keep his lunch down. But her _screams._ It's the only reason I found Newt.

" Are you okay? " I ask him, taking a step through the sand-covered floor.

" I'm fine. " He says, squeezing his eyes shut. The smell of singed flesh has drifted in here and my stomach churns. _Why did they do that?_ She seemed like she was just lacking nutrients when I was traveling with her.

" Why did you amputate Louisa's leg? "

" The infection was killing her. This way she has a chance. "

Janson's words drift into my mind, flashing before my eyes: _turn him against her, make him hate her._

Would he care if he found out she was the one that killed our mom? He could—I have to tell him. He deserves to know. It would also explain how she got that bite on her leg.

I lower my eyes and make my voice crack, " I'm sorry. It's all my fault. " I hear him shift, but I keep my eyes trained on a piece of broken glass resting on the floor, the afternoon sun gleaming off of it. " I was being attack by a Crank, and Louisa came over the sand dune and saved me. But she had gotten bit. I'm so sorry, Newt. "

He puts a hand on my shoulder and I fight back a smile, " It's not your fault. Lo has a habit of charging in without thinking. "

A tear leaks out of one of my eyes and I brush it away. " I was stupid enough to be fooled by the thing. I caused her to get hurt. I just thought, that maybe the infection had been staved off enough to where the person I loved was still in there somewhere. " I pause, taking a deep breath, " I thought that my— _our—_ mom was still the person that raised me. "

I hear a sharp intake of breath and I finally look up at him, my eyes shining with unshed tears. " I don't hold anything against Louisa for killing mom. In fact, I'm thankful she put her out of her misery. " _Not really._

His eyebrows are drawn together and his fists are clenched at his sides. I shove the heel of my palm into my eyes, smearing away the fake tears there. My wrists burn as I feel a strand of my hair brush against them, and I grit my teeth. I really need to see what those kidnappers were doing, and where they were taking me. But right now, all that matters is getting to know my brother.

" It sounds like Louisa. " He says, his voice breathless, " Does she…? "

" Know? " I ask, keeping the strain on my voice, " She knows. I told her. She kind of took me under her wing after that, becoming a big sister. " _Stupid!_ I shouldn't have said that. That paints Louisa in a good light, and I'm trying to cast her in shadows.

His jaw clenches but his fists relax. He's probably confused.

" What are you doing here? " He asks, " What about our father? "

I cross my arms over my chest. " I'm here looking for you—have been for years. I don't know what happened to dad. "

He takes a deep breath…And then another.

Another one of the subjects walks in, this one with dark skin and short hair.

" Newt, who is this she-shank? " He narrows his eyes, " Isn't she— "

" This is my sister. " Newt says and I smile at the other subject. I just have to make it through this and get Newt the cure. That's all I'm doing. The rest of these stupid people don't matter.

" I'm Frypan. " He waves.

" I'm Nandini. "

He nods his head towards the room where Louisa is, and the Blake who's standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. " How is she? "

Newt tenses at the mere mention of her condition, " Dying. " He replies and I see pain flash through his eyes. It's like what I saw when his pet lizard died, only now it's amplified. _Does he really love her?_

No, he can't. If he does, by twisting Louisa and making her a monster in his eyes I would be hurting him in the process. He _doesn't_ love Louisa.

" You used to be the optimist. " Frypan says, shaking his head. Newt sends a look in his direction, one shared between people that have known each other for a long time, and can communicate with simple facial expressions. " Just shows me how crappy things have gotten. "

" It'll be okay, " I find myself saying as Newt's shoulders slump forward. " She'll pull through. "

Newt just casts a glance at me, " Thanks, Nandini. But she's defied death way too many times. I think it's finally catching up to her. "

" You can't say that. " I say, any sadness that I was lacing into my voice evaporating into a hardness, " She's counting on you to pull her through this—to help her. " _Am I speaking from experience?_ " You can't let her down. Toughen up and help your sorry excuse for a girlfriend. "

Newt's eyes widen and Frypan covers his smile with his hand. Why did I say that? Why am I letting my emotions boil over like this? Why am I so _stupid?_ Janson asked me to do one simple little thing. It's been fifteen minutes and I've already failed. I can redeem myself though, I just have to reveal a part of her past.

A darker part.

So why can't I bring myself to tell Newt?

" Your sister is right, you know? Soon enough Minho's going to take her way. " Frypan chuckles as he leans against the wall. Newt glares at him.

Then a groan resonates throughout the room, sounding distinctly female. Newt freezes for a second before running towards the room, and Frypan moves out of his way. I stride towards the Blake, who was walking towards me. Newt passes him without a second glance, and disappears through the doorway. Frypan follows him.

" Why? " I hear Louisa's muffled voice ask, heavy and strained. I turn my attention to Blake.

" What the hell was that? " He asks, grabbing my shoulders.

" What was what? " I ask, feigning ignorance as I try to convince myself to shrug his hands off of me.

" That little act you did, with the crying and fake sadness. " He says, his green eyes reminding me of sparkling emeralds with the sun reflecting off shards of glass. " Don't lie to your brother. "

" I'm not lying and quite frankly it's none of your damn business. " I finally manage to shrug his touch off, but I can't bring myself to look away.

" I followed you out here. " A storm kicks up and I try not to flinch, " Tell me your plan or I'm leaving. "

" Over something so petty like this, Blake? " I ask, trying to keep my voice strong, but it wavers. _This is it. This is when he leaves me._ " I thought you were different. "

His jaw ticks. " I'd like to know what I'm getting into. "

" Now that we've found him, we have to make sure he survives. "

Blake starts to pace, putting a hand on his head. I watch him with nervous eyes, my temper flaring inside of me. Why did I think he was going to stay? Why did I let myself consider that possibility? I don't even know why he bothered to help me.

" If you're so worried about it, " I say, my voice deathly quiet, " Then why are you still here? Why bother to stay? "

He stops pacing and strides towards me so fast I stumble back until I hit a wall. It's warm against my back and I focus on that instead of the way he arms cage me in. I could easily slip out of his reach and leave, but…

I don't want to.

" Why bother to stay? " He repeats what I said, his voice taking on a tone I've never heard him use before. " I'm here because I finally found my best friend, and she's more amazing than I could ever imagine. " _What? "_ She's smart and determined and beautiful and I just… I didn't want to leave her behind and risk never seeing her again. " A heat rises up to my face, painting my cheeks a rosy color, " Now, she finally found the person she's been looking for, and she's lying to him—tricking him. "

 _Breathe, Nandini. Breathe._

" Please, don't do it again. I don't want to see you get hurt. " He rests his forehead against mine, " Please. "

I think I've forgotten how to think. He's so close. He called me smart and beautiful and no one has ever said that—not even my own mom. What am I supposed to say again? He may have said something about promising not to trick Newt again, but I can't do that. If I do that, my brother is as good as dead.

What am I supposed to do in this situation?

" Hey, you two, " The subject with the spiky hair and a runner's build says, causing Blake to step away, " We're leaving in an hour. "

Already? They aren't going to give Louisa time to rest? " Okay, " I say with a small gulp. I take a deep breath, willing thoughts about Blake to go away. He was about to leave. I could feel it. He was giving up on me. Every fiber of his being probably wanted to leave.

I catch his green eyes and feel another wave of heat as I remember how close he was.

" I'll stick with you. " Blake grabs my hand and traces the faint scars that mark it, " Just, no more lying, okay? "

" Okay. " I say, my voice coming out as a whisper. He hears the flustered tone and smiles at me before dropping my hand and walking into the room where Louisa is. I'm left standing there, my mind racing and my heart beating out of my chest. He—he needs to stop doing that. I can't get distracted. But, he said I was smart, and beautiful. No one has said that; not even my own mother.

I always thought I was ordinary.

But in that moment, I felt special—like my life means something for a change. Like I could do anything I wanted to.

And it was all because of Blake.

* * *

 **DAMN GUYS WHAT JUST HAPPENED YO.**

 **Okay, let's talk about this. First of all, Louisa is defying the laws of nature by still being alive, and by regaining her** **consciousness so soon. Do not fret about her leg, it's a key plot device. I'm trying to make Louisa surviving seem realistic, but let's face it. She has plot armor. I can't kill her off so soon-you guys would riot and I would cry because Louisa is my smol child.**

 **NEW SHIP NEW SHIP NEW SHIP Nandilake. Hells yea.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ Thanks. My wrist is actually getting a little better, but I don't want to accidentally re-injure it so I'm still backing off the typing. Minho was passed out from exhaustion ( he carried her all night like woah ) I'm glad you're enjoying Nandini's POV. I hope my wrist gets better too!**

 **OKay I need to go take a deep breath after writing this. I mean, Louisa just got her leg chopped off. Nandini is trying to do what Janson said but Blake is trying to convince her not to without really realizing the full extent of what she's doing. Newt was ready to give up and Minho is all protective over Louisa.**

 **I think, next chapter, I'm going to get a little more Aris in there.**

 **Anyway, I have to go to sleep so have a good night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to go brush my teeth.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Don't kill me. I let Louisa lead this chapter, and this is what happened. I thought about how it turned out for three days, editing it and changing stuff. But every time I tried to mend the thing that was broken, it didn't seem right.**

 **So, this happened.**

* * *

All I feel is numbness and a dull throbbing.

My eyes flutter open and the smell of metallic blood fills my nose, making me nauseous. My leg burns and I sit up with a groan. I feel someone's hands on my shoulders and my mind flashes back to what happened just before I blacked out.

Newt, the person I love and trust, holding me down while Jorge cut off my leg.

" Why? " I say and I raise my eyes and find Minho couching in front of me, his eyes full of worry. My lip starts to wobble and I press my mouth together, but that doesn't stop the tears from leaking. " Why? "

Was destroying me not enough for everyone? Did they have to take a part of me, too? My legs looked amazing, and now I'm missing half of one. The left one, specifically. How am I supposed to walk? How am I supposed to find my biological brother? How am I supposed to survive?

What do I do now?

" Louisa, we had too. " Aris says in a sickeningly sweet voice. He doesn't mean what every niceties he says, or any polite tone. " Or at least, that's what they're going to say. I, personally, would've let you keep your leg. "

But then the infection probably would've killed me. I'm not stupid. I know why they did it—I just really wish they hadn't.

" My mind is broken and you decide to break my body…One of the few things I have—had—going for me. Assholes. "

" Louisa, I'm sorry. " Newt says, crouching to my right, his feet right next to the pool of _my_ blood. I narrow my eyes at him.

 _It wasn't his fault, Louisa. Stop before you say something you'll regret._

" Don't talk to me like that. " I snap, " I wanted you to _protect me._ No matter how much I tried to deny that I needed help, I did. And I trusted you, Newt. "

With each breath, I could feel the bond between us unraveling, no, I could feel it unraveling the seconds before I passed out. I should say something to grab onto that thread and strengthen it, but I don't. Instead, I watch Newt's face crumple as he stands and resorts to leaning against the wall. Every fiber of my being wants to apologize.

But I won't apologize for something I'm not sorry about.

Newt….I feel like he betrayed me. I can't explain it, but right now, I don't trust him. I want to trust him, but I don't. And it's scaring me. I've always been able to, for as long as I can remember. He was my best friend before the Maze, my boyfriend during the Maze, and now...

Now I feel like he's a stranger. Because the Newt I know would never have let me get hurt like that.

" Louisa… " Clint says, " Surely you don't mean that? "

I hear footsteps in the other room, and muffled voices, but no one seems to be alarmed so I just assume it's Thomas and Brenda.

" I had things I needed to do—family I needed to find. My _last_ piece of family that probably doesn't even remember me. But now—now I can't even fucking walk! What do you except me to do? Sit here and accept the fact that _half of my leg is missing?_ You're all lucky I can't stand or you would all be _dead._ "

They all look taken aback. My breathing is harsh and I'm still crying, though it's silent now. Why? Why would they do this to me?

Aris laughs. " She finally shows her true colors. "

I'm shaking. What have I done? I snapped. Something deep inside me has shattered, and I don't know what it is. Everyone is staring at me, jaws slack and eyes wide. But I can't think. I glance at Newt, but his eyes are on the ground, his face distant.

It hurts so much.

" We are leaving in an hour. Get your shit together. " I look over at Jorge, who looks shocked, but there's pity in his gaze. " Jorge, do we have any bandages? We need to wrap this— " I gesture to my butchered leg, " And I need to practice standing on one leg. "

Minho leaves the room, no doubt to tell Thomas and Brenda what's happened and that we're leaving soon. Jorge reaches into his bag and grabs a white roll of cloth, the closest thing he has to a bandage. As soon as the cloth makes contact with my skin, I hiss, a sharp sting causing the remaining nerves to sing with pain. Jorge doesn't stop his movements and ignores my pain.

Good.

He finishes wrapping it and sits back and I notice the blood splattered across his face. It must be mine. I suppose chopping someone's leg off is pretty messy.

I look down at the burnt mess of flesh that is now my leg and cringe at the red and black layers. It reminds me of charred pork.

That's one thing I'll never eat now.

The other half of my leg, the infected part they cut off, is cast aside and is in the corner of the room. I take a single look at it and gag, wondering how it could possibly be mine. It's absolutely putrid, like it had started decaying before it had even gotten cut off.

I use my weak arms to push myself off the ground, feeling lighter than normal. I kneel there on one leg, keeping the sensitive skin from rubbing against anything. It's like I didn't get my leg cut off. The ghost of it is still there, trying to support me. I grit my teeth. The still air in the room becomes suffocating as I push back onto my toes, then onto my heel, and stand.

My head swims. I sway and my hand shoots out to the nearest wall as I feel my balance wavering.

" Louisa, we should stay here until you get some of the blood you lost back. " Newt says, and I look up at him, ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach.

" No. You all have the Flare and we need to get you the cure. " My voice has steadied, masking what I actually feel, " Just—Just give me a moment. Please. "

I take deep breaths, my arm quivering against the weight of my body. My head hurts; my body aches; I feel like I might puke. There's no way I can move by myself, but I know Minho will help me. I'd still be hindrance. They should just leave me here so they could move faster. We've already been here a week. There's only one left, and with me slowing them down…

" Dammit. " I mumble as Minho walks back into the room, his eyes widening when he sees me standing.

" Lo, what the hell? " He rushes over and hooks one of my arms over his shoulders, taking some of the pressure off my legs. I nearly sigh with relief.

" I— "

" Sit down until we leave, you idiot. Are you trying to get yourself killed? "

I see Newt tense out of the corner of my eye. He knows of my tendencies to just give up on everything. Minho does too, but after what he said, I can't do that kind of stuff anymore. Not for him, or Newt, but for Noah. For my family that won't get to see the world be cured of the Flare.

" No, Minho, I'm not. I thought we resolved that earlier. " I say, but I don't make a move to sit down. I can feel the tension easing from my body, but I still feel heavy. " Can we leave this room? It stinks. "

He lets out a small laugh, " There _is_ a limb in the corner over there. "

I wrinkle my nose, " I wonder whose it is. " My smile that I had fades, " Alright, so how is this whole walking thing going to work? I can't really take a step, and you— "

Next thing I know, he's putting me on his back. I instinctively drape my arms over his shoulders as his hand goes underneath my good leg, and a good five inches above the severed area on my other. His hand is actually just about three inches or so from my butt, but hey, I'm not complaining. This way is faster than me trying to walk.

I lean in close to his ear, " Thank you, " I whisper as he starts to walk out of the room, leaving that stench behind.

" I didn't do anything. "

 _Yes you did._ He helped me when he saw me struggling to stand. Newt, he just stood there, watching, a blank expression on his face. It was probably because of what I said.

" Just shut up and accept my gratitude, as— " The words stop dead in my mouth. The two people I assumed were Brenda and Thomas, are actually Nandini and someone else.

" Oh, hey Louisa. " She says as she takes a step away from the other person. A light blush is covering her face and I look at the green-eyed boy. They both seem to be about the same age. " Good to see you're still alive. "

Minho sets me down sits down beside me. The ground is too hard. I wish I had a bed or something so I could get some decent sleep. It would be a nice alternative to passing out all the time.

" Barely. You're still alive too, if a bit beaten up. " I eye her wrists and the bruises on her arms. I nod my head to the boy, " Who's your friend? "

" I'm Blake. " The boy adds in a smooth voice, although I could tell where it might crack at anytime.

" My friend. " Nandini adds and she shoves her hands in her pockets.

" Mmhm. So where did you go after I passed out? " I ask, shifting my body to where I can lay my head in Minho's lap. If I'm going to rest, I'm going to do it right.

" Lexi and I went into the city, where I ran into this buffoon. "

" I am not— "

" Yes, " She puts a hand on his arm, " Yes you are. "

He shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest, but he's smiling. Nandini tries to hide it, but a slight smile is playing on her lips too.

Oh.

 _Oh._

" Glad you're still alive. I admit, I was a little worried. " I say as the rest of the Familiars file into the room. I don't know what they were doing in there, but I don't know if I want to know, either.

Minho's hand starts to play with my hair and I look up at him, but he's staring at the wall, a distant expression on his face. I resist the urge to ask him what's wrong so I can try to make him feel better and instead turn my attention back to Nandini, who's looking at me oddly.

" Something's different about you. " She scratches her cheek.

" Thank you, for noticing I lost my leg. "

" No… " She trails off, " Something else. "

" Doesn't matter. "

" Look, " She says, crossing her arms over her chest as she takes a step closer, " You want to walk, right? "

" It'd be nice. "

" I know someone who could help you. "

Minho's hand stops moving, " You do? " He asks.

Nandini hesitantly nods, her lip caught between her teeth.

" How far out of our way? " Newt asks.

" Not far, a couple of blocks. "

A familiar feeling decides to overwhelm me, causing my face to contort into a grimace. A piercing headache makes me want to clutch my head between my hands, coupled with nausea. I grit my teeth to hold back a groan, but a small noise emits from me anyway.

" Louisa? " Minho asks, looking down at me with his eyebrows drawn together.

" It's okay, " I try to mumble, but it comes out a mess of jumbled words.

And then I fall into the spiraling hell of another memory.

…..

" _Minho, " I hiccup, my mind feeling hazy and my words slurred, " You know, you're actually pretty cute. "_

 _He laughs. I giggle, covering my mouth with my hand. My body feels warm and cozy, and my head feels light._

" _Let's do something fun. " I say, striding forwards and grabbing his hands. The light in the room seems brighter than normal, but it doesn't bother me._

" _You're one lightweight. " He says. I half expect him to jerk his hands from mine, but he doesn't for a change. It feels nice._

" _Shuddup. " I haul him out of the kids rooms. Everyone's at dinner, so they're empty._

" _What're you going to do? " He asks as we walk down the dimly lit halls. They would look like this until tomorrow morning, when everyone woke up. But for some reason, right now, I want to do something fun. But I don't know what._

 _I stumble to a stop, " I don't know. "_

 _Sure, I did pranks with Newt, but that was easy. I'm in the mood to do something different. Something I've never done before. The question is, what? There's nothing fun to do at WICKED._

 _Yea, there's nothing fun to do at WICKED._

 _I could go outside._

" _Let's go outside. " I say with a bright smile and I drag him in the direction of the doors. His eyes widen, and he struggles in my grip, but he can't get free. No one else knows where the doors to the outside are—well, none of the other kids. I only know because Noah told me one day, and he only knew because my mom told him in case we needed to flee._

 _This is the perfect idea._

" _I don't know if that's a good idea. "_

" _Nonsense. "_

" _That's exactly what this is, Louisa. I thought you'd be a sappy drunk. I had heard that something traumatizing had happened in your past, and thought this could help me figure out what it was. " He says, digging his heels in. I look at him over my shoulder, the feeling of euphoria fading a little._

" _Silly, Minho. " I laugh, " Minho. It sounds like mean hoe. I didn't know your parents named you so accurately. "_

 _He scowls at me as I laugh._

 _Soon enough, we're at the doors. I put the code in after a few seconds of trying to remember it, and then I nearly fail at putting it in. I turn and look at Minho, his face looking pale. I shaky my head._

" _Minho, you're such a scaredy cat. " I say as the door behind me opens. A hot plume of air enters even though the sun has set, and even though it's winter. His eyes widen for the millionth time tonight as he takes in the rolling sand dunes behind me._

" _We shouldn't go out there. " He says, but I turn and pull him into the Scorch. My feet are bare, so the sand burns them but it doesn't bother me. Minho—who had shoes on—lets me pull him towards a certain dune. The one that overlooks the city._

 _My steps feel clumsy. My feet catch on the small grains of sand but somehow I manage to remain upright. Maybe it's because I'm hauling Minho with me. I don't know._

" _This is my favorite place, " I say as we reach the crest of the sand dune. The lights in the city shine like stars in the distance and I find myself smiling at the sight. It's pretty during the day, but at night, it's beautiful._

 _But the height of the dune is causing my head to swim._

 _Minho walks up beside me as I start to sway._

" _How do you know how to get out here? " He asks, slightly breathless at the sight. I eye his hair, and put a hand on his head._

" _Woah, it's so soft. " I rub his head, " I figured it would be spiky. "_

 _His face tints red and he takes a step away from me, causing my hand to fall from his head. I frown as a breeze pushes through, stirring up sand and throwing me off balance. My eyes widen as I tip to one side and start to fall. I roll down the steep dune, feeling my arm twist as I go. A scream escapes my mouth and I can barely see Minho running down after me—well sliding, really._

 _When I reach the bottom, I'm breathless and shaking. My stomach is doing flips and I turn and throw up as Minho stops beside me._

" _Louisa, are you okay? " He asks, actually worried about me for a change. I wipe my hand over my mouth, hating the acidic taste that is left behind. I scoot back as far as I can, leaving against the sand dune. My arm aches and my head hurts._

" _I'm fine. " I slur out, but then I turn and hurl my guts up again. Minho shifts behind me, seeming to be uncomfortable as I taste my dinner for a second time. It doesn't taste as good as it did before._

" _No, we should go back. " He grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet just as I finish puking. I stumble and fall into his chest, my cheek flush against it. I can hear his heart beat speed up._

" _Your heart is beating really fast, " I say and he pushes me away, not hard, just hard enough to get me a step or two back. I frown at him, but before I can say anything he grabs my wrist and drags me back up the hill. My legs start to burn from the ascent and I fall to my knees halfway there, wanting to take a break._

" _We have to get back before anyone notices we're— "_

" _Louisa KIttredge, " I hear my mom say from the top of the hill. I stand and look up at her, waving and smiling._

" _Hey mom! "_

 _Minho smacks the back of my head and gestures up at my mom. I frown in confusion, but then I get a good look at my mom's face._

 _If her look were fire, I would be incinerated._

" _Get up here. " Her voice is firm and demanding, causing me to start climbing back up despite the burning in my legs. Minho trudges behind me now, fearing the wrath of my mother. I don't blame him. Whenever she uses my last name, I know I'm in trouble._

 _Moments later we reach the top, all too soon. My mom is glaring at the two of us as she takes in my condition. Then she turns and starts to walk back towards WICKED._

" _I'll talk to you two in the morning. When my ten year old daughter is sober. " She seems to have to force the words out. Minho lets out a small breath from beside me, and I smile at him._

" _Why is your mom always glaring at people? " He asks, starting to follow her, but a safe distance away so she can't hear her._

" _She's been like that ever since I was four. " I say, the smile I had fading._

" _What happened when you were four? "_

" _They took my dad away from us. "_

 _Minho doesn't say anything else to me. When we get to WICKED, he goes to his rooms and I end up passed out in a hallway somewhere, my head pounding._

….

Louisa is smiling in her sleep. Or her memory thing, rather. She fell into the stupor minutes ago as Nandini stated that she had a way to help her walk again. The soft smile is making me feel like she's okay. Like she didn't just threaten us minutes ago, or like she didn't just snap at Newt.

But I know she's not okay.

Something has happened, something beyond just getting her leg chopped off. I told Newt one push and she wouldn't be able to recover, and it seems like I was right. She was full on sobbing when she woke up, talking about her family that she had to find and how she couldn't anymore and how she trusted Newt. The look on her face was pained, like the words were about to choke her, but I could tell she meant it.

I always wanted her to kind of break things of with Newt, but now that she's kind of done it, I wish she hadn't. Even when she was smiling at me as we were joking, there was a shadow in her eyes. Every time she looked at Newt, her face would darken and I could see all the pain she felt. She's hurt.

I see her eyes flutter open and I look down at her. I smile but she narrows her eyes at me, and my smile falters. What did she remember?

Then she flicks my forehead.

" Ow, what the hell? " I ask, rubbing where she flicked it.

" That's for getting me drunk when we were ten. " She crosses her arms over her chest and looks over at the wall, a pout on her face. I laugh.

I got her _drunk_ when we were _ten?_

I wouldn't mind remembering that.

She lets out a sigh as she looks at everyone in the room, " What did I miss? "

Newt decides to speak up, although his mind doesn't seem wholly on the conversation at hand. " We decided to get you a prosthetic. "

" How? " Louisa asks, her eyebrows drawn together. Her head is still on my lap, and now she's staring at the ceiling.

I know what we're doing, but I don't want to be the one to say it. Right now, Louisa trusts me, and I want it to stay like that. I'm walking a thin line. One wrong step and she'll snap at me too.

" By going to see King Crank. " Nandini says while pushing off the wall she was leaning against. She strides forward, confident as she approaches Louisa. " But he doesn't do anything for free, and his place is impossible to get into. " I subconsciously put a hand on Louisa's side, pulling her closer to me as if I could protect her from what Nandini is going to say.

She stops right in front of Louisa, and leans down.

" Are you prepared to get kidnapped? "

" Huh? " Louisa says, blinking at Nandini. She obviously hadn't expected that.

" You're just his type—Immune. So, if you get kidnapped, he would get you a prosthetic so you could stand by his side—among other things. "

" Who says he wants a cripple? " I can see the wince on her face as she says it.

" Let's just say it's a fetish. "

A shiver of disgust goes down Louisa's spine and I slightly squeeze her side to let her know it'll be okay. We'll rescue her before he has a chance to do _that_ to her.

" So, I'll ask you again. " Nandini says, crouching beside her so she can look Louisa in the eyes. " Are you prepared to get kidnapped for the sake of walking again? "

Louisa doesn't respond right away.

" For the sake of seeing what's left of your family? "

How does Nandini know that? I don't tryst her. I don't care if she is Newt's sister. If she tries to hurt Louisa, I will make sure she feels the same amount of pain—if not more. Louisa's been through too much already. All of us have.

Without a response, Nandini stands with a sigh, " I thought you were willing to do that, but it seems like I was wrong. You're weak, pathetic, and a sorry excuse for the supposed ' hero ' you're trying to be. All you're doing is destroying everyone around you. "

" Shut the hell up you insolent child. " Louisa snaps, " I know you've been through hell and back, but right now I could care less. You better watch what you say, or I'll make you wish you'd died in WICKED's basement. "

" Louisa, " Newt says, taking a step closer, " Don't say that to my sister. "

Louisa lets out a harsh laugh, " _Your sister_. Did you know she tried to kill me in the Scorch? It wasn't outright, but I could tell she was. She was just letting me wither away into nothing, managing to find a way to survive herself without telling me. So before you try to defend the little brat, learn a little bit about her. "

Newt's eyes go aflame. But not at Nandini like I thought they would, but towards Louisa. " She's my bloody sister. Surely you know what it feels like to find out you have a family. But, unlike you, I plan on protecting mine. "

Louisa sits up so fast she's a blur. How could Newt say that, knowing that it's a touchy subject? I thought he loved her, but once again, maybe I was wrong.

" You _bastard._ " She growls, clenching her fists. I feel like I should say something to calm her down, but I don't want to. Whatever she's going to say, Newt deserves it for what he said, and what he's done.

" Hey, guys, " Frypan says, but the two arguing glare at him and he shrinks away.

" You don't have a family to protect anymore. Why are you so pissed off about not being able to walk? "

" Who wouldn't be? " She shouts. I can see her eyes watering, and her shoulders shaking, but she doesn't cry. " Do you know how badly I wanted to just die? To see if I could hug my mom, one last time? To see my brother smile? But I didn't. Because of you. I remembered the promise we made in the Maze. " Louisa takes a deep breath, " Now, now I hate you for forcing me to promise that. For making me live and suffer through all of this. "

Her voice shifts back into a growl, " I hate you, Newt, and I wish I'd never loved you. "

One look at her face tells me she doesn't really mean it. She's holding back tears and her lip is wobbling.

" Nandini was right about you. " He says quietly as he leans against the walls and stares at the floor, his eyes glossy.

Louisa collapses into me, burying her face in my chest. I can feel the warm tears through my shirt, but I don't say anything about them. Instead, I wrap my arms around her and do my best to calm her down.

" Minho, " She whispers, her hands clenching on my shirt, " Don't betray me like Newt did. Don't hurt me. "

" I wouldn't dream of it, Lo. " I mumble into her hair as her silent tears wet my shirt. I cast a glance at Newt, who's talking to Nandini—the one he defended against Louisa and completely put Lo down over—a person he barely knows. He doesn't look at Louisa, and seems to be talking normally, like it didn't effect him. He's my friend. I can tell when something is bothering him.

But right now, if anything is bothering him, he's doing a pretty good job of hiding it.

" I'll do it. " Louisa mumbles, " I'll get kidnapped so I can get the prosthetic. "

I hold her a little tighter. I just want to have five minutes alone with her, so she can talk to me without everyone eavesdropping or something like that. She needs to vent. Not argue or scream and yell, but to have someone to talk to that she can trust.

" Well, we have about an hour before the guys make their rounds for today. " Nandini clasps her hands together, smiling at Louisa despite what she just said to her moments ago.

" Let's get you cleaned up. "

* * *

 **I was nearly sobbing writing this because LEEEWWWTTTTT (T^T )**

 **Louisa is heartbroken and it's changed her personality. I was writing this and I was letting Louisa lead the story, and this is what happened, and I was like Yo, Lo, what the hell is this? But every time I tried to change it, it didn't work out. But I added a happy-ish thing with the drunk memory, right?**

 _ **Please don't kill me.**_

 **It seems like Nandini accomplished what she was trying to do, just by pushing Louisa a little, and causing her to snap, and then Newt defended her. I think Newt is just confused and now he's heartbroken too.**

 **Can Lewt be mended?**

 **{ review responses }**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ THANKS**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ I was surprised when Louisa got her leg chopped off too. I can't seem to control my characters. I'm excited to write some more of it, and next chapter I'm going to write the majority of it in Newt's and Nandini's POV. YOU ARE LOVED :) lol Thanks. My wrist is better, and I should be able to write more now.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **I gotta go wipe the tears off of my computer.**

 **Have a nice day, night, evening, morning, afternoon!**

 **P.S. Don't kill me.**


	26. Chapter 26

**I didn't like this chapter ugh**

* * *

I screwed up.

I have to make up for it.

Right now, Louisa is clinging to Minho like he's some sort of savior. I can tell she's crying, even if it's silent, and it hurts to know it's my fault. All I wanted to do was save her, and all I did was hurt her.

 _I hate you, Newt, and I wish I never loved you._

For some reason, I feel like I deserved to be told that. I said some awful things, but…so did she. _Unlike you, I plan on protecting mine._ Why did I say that? I knew it was a weak spot for her, and that if I said it she would be pissed, but in that moment I was blinded by my anger. I let it control me.

It's just, something in my mind doesn't feel right. I feel like I could go off on anyone at any second. One wrong word, and I have to bite my tongue to keep my mouth shut. Or, like with Louisa, I end up going off on them and making them cry.

I wish things were like they were back in the Maze.

Compared to right now, things were so simple back then. I know what was going on between Louisa and Reed, and that Louisa was having a hard time, but right now, she looks so shattered.

And part of that is my fault.

Bloody hell. What have I done?

Now she's going to get kidnapped, and put herself at risk of getting hurt or raped and it's all so she can have a prosthetic. If she gets hurt, it'll be my fault. I know Jorge was the one that suggested amputating the leg, but I should have stood up and said no.

But then she would have died from the infection by now. She's smart enough to know that, and she still hates me. The look on her face when she said it was so pained, and she looked like she was holding back tears.

" We gotta get some of that dirt and blood off of you. There's a department store across the street. We should be able to find _something_ that'll fit you. " Nandini says, grabbing Louisa's arm and pulling her away from Minho. Her red, puffy eyes widen as she stumbles. Nandini starts to walk off, leaving Louisa to balance on one leg. Her eyebrows are creased in concentration and her face is pale. Minho makes a move to stand, but Louisa stops him.

" Don't help me yet, " Her voice is heavy and thick from where she was crying, " I have to learn. "

Minho stands anyway. Louisa hears his movements and glares at him over her shoulder, but Minho looks unfazed.

" I'm just here if you fall. "

That should be me. But she doesn't want me to help her.

She doesn't want me to be by her side anymore.

My eyes start to sting and I squeeze them shut, trying to force thoughts about Louisa out of my mind. It's hard, considering I've thought about her for the majority of the past three months. Always wondering how she is, what she's doing, and if she's happy. The way her eyes light up when she smiles, or how she's determined. How soft her hands are despite what she's been through. Or, when she's nervous and she bites her bottom lip. I'm not even sure she notices she does that.

Dammit, I'm thinking about her again.

I sigh and open my eyes, watching Minho carry Louisa across the street with Nandini leading them. There are much more important things to worry about, like if we're all going to survive, or where Thomas and Brenda are. I shouldn't be thinking about how Louisa hates me. I have to push that aside and be a leader for the Gladers.

It's easier said than done.

….

Fuck my life. I'm so close to giving up. The only thing that keeps me from laying in the street and letting the Cranks eat me is that I have a brother out there, and he deserves to know what happened. Oh, and the fact that the world is ending already and everything will be over soon.

Or it could turn into a utopia and Noah's dream will be realized.

Either way, I just want to have a break.

" There's very little running water, so we'll have to make due with using a cloth to wipe you down. " Nandini says, venturing further into the store as I stay there with Minho. Or, rather, he doesn't make a move to follow her.

" She better not put me in something slutty. " I mumble as I scan the mostly empty store. There are a few clothes hanging on the racks, some covered in dirt and others with splatters of dried blood on them. The floor is dusty too, but I doubt you could find a place that didn't have sand in it.

I miss the Maze, when everything was simple. Or, as simple as it could get.

" Hmm. If we weren't in the Scorch and you weren't about to get kidnapped, then I wouldn't mind. "

" Asshole. " I mumble, resting my chin on his shoulder, ignoring how my heart fluttered.

Nandini crouched behind one of the counters, her body disappearing from my sight. I used to think she was like a sister, and I kind of still do, but I can't help but despise her right now. She said something that pissed me off, and I was going to put her in her place, but then Newt interrupted, defending someone he doesn't even know.

That led to me telling him I hate him.

It was like the light in his eyes went out when I said that. I regret it; I honestly do. But what am I supposed to do now? Me, the idiot, broke whatever Newt and I had. Whatever we could've salvaged is gone now. But, I still don't know if I wanted to salvage any of it. It was cracked, fractured, poisoned. I could feel him slowly drifting away for a while, not helping me, keeping his distance. I should've done something! I should've spent more time with him, but it's not like I could've. I was _dying._

" You okay? " Minho asks, putting a hand on my arm.

" No. " I say quietly as Nandini squeals. She jumps up from behind the counter, holding makeup. _Makeup._

" We might just make you pretty. " She says, going to the racks and pulling off what seems like random shirts and clothes. Then she waves Minho over, into a side room. He carries me there, his steps seeming jarring. My head is still swimming from the loss of blood.

" How was your memory? " He asks as he walks. I smile softly.

" You got me drunk, and I called you a mean hoe and took you outside of WICKED. You were so scared. " I say. He laughs softly.

" I wish I could remember that. " He squeezes my arm. Whether it's on purpose or subconsciously, I don't know.

" You will. "I would promise it, but I'm never making another promise again. Not if I can help it. Promises don't make sense, anyway. How could someone trust me enough to carry through on that promise? Why would someone put so much faith in it?

We get to Nandini and she immediately says, " Take her pants off. "

Minho chokes and I start laughing.

" What? We need to get her dressed in these— " She holds up black skinny jeans. _Black skinny jeans._ How the hell did she manage to find those? " And this. " She holds up a flowy white shirt, low cut. " I can't do it myself. "

" I can't undress Louisa, that's not modest and she just— "

" Minho, when did you get so respectable? " I laugh, " It's fine. I don't mind. "

My heart is racing, but it's not like I'm going to tell him that.

It speeds up even more as he gently lets me stand on one leg, and keeps his hand on my back for stability. _Calm down, calm down._ His free hand goes to the button on my shorts and I suck in a breath. Why am I so nervous? I've never really been self-conscious before. But now, it's hitting me full force.

Maybe I do mind if he undresses me.

" Are you sure, Lo? " He asks as he undoes the button.

" I don't have a choice. " I say. Where did my breath go?

My pants fall to the floor. He doesn't even have to pull on them. They just fell. I look down at them with a frown. Lack of food probably caused that.

I grab the bottom of my shirt, arms crossed, and pull it over my head. The smell enters my nose and I almost gag. I have been wearing it for the past week, through sweat and grime. It only makes sense that it would stink. I toss it away from us and it lands with a puff of sand. I sway a little, but Minho puts his hand on my back and I steady myself.

" Thanks…. " I trail off as I look down.

I can count my ribs.

They're so prominent, and my stomach so sunken in. My hip bones are jutting out too. I look frail. How did this happen in such a short amount of time? Did the infection cause me to burn through calories faster? I don't even know.

" I guess I've lost weight. " I laugh lightly, though it was more of an exhale of air. I'm too skinny. It's unhealthy. I don't feel hungry—that's the scary part. It's like I've gotten used to not eating. There's a small ache, but it's not hunger. More of an emptiness.

" Alright, " Nandini says, ignoring my comment, " Hold her. I'll put the jeans on her. "

Then I'm jostled around like a rag doll.

Or, at least, that's what it feels like.

Minho hooks his arms under my armpits and Nandini grabs my leg. My back is pressed against Minho, and I can feel how fast and hard his heart is beating. Every once in a while I can feel it thud against my back and I look over my shoulder at him as Nandini puts my half-leg into the jeans after she takes my shoes off. His eyes are shut and a light sweat has broken out across his forehead.

The pressure put on my leg from the jeans causes me to hiss through my teeth. Pain surges through my thigh, urgent and demanding. Minho's arms tighten as if he was trying to comfort me, but the pain actually isn't that bad. It's more of a distraction. One I'm grateful for.

 _Focus on the pain. Not_ him.

The air in the room seems stale, and it's suffocating, but I would rather be here than across the street. I don't know if I can ever look Newt in the eye again.

Frustrated with how long Nandini is taking, I pull the jeans up the final six inches. She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest then tosses the white shirt at me. I catch it, frowning at the color. This would show blood stains too easily. What is she thinking?

" I don't like the color. " I say as Minho puts me on my feet—foot. White is too pure a color. It shows innocence.

" Deal with it. " Nandini says as I pull it over my head. I see several darkened areas on the material, stained by dirt and sand that drifts through the air. The sleeves go past my fingertips by about an inch, and they're loose around my forearms and tight around my biceps. The bottom of the shirt is loose as well, and it's tight around my chest. Really tight around my chest.

" It's too tight. " I say and Nandini stares at my chest, apparently assessing something. Or at least that's what I hope she's doing.

" No. It's perfect. " She pulls the makeup out and rummages through the bag. Humming all the while. How the hell would she know how to use makeup? I've never even used makeup and I've been in the safety of WICKED where it's plentiful.

" My boobs are practically falling out. " I say, frowning down at my chest. I hear Minho stifle a laugh from behind me. " Oh, shut up. "

" That's what we wanted. You're going to attract attention. " She pulls a tiny brush out of the bag and some kind of powder that's in a plastic container. I eye it warily as she approaches. It's dark, like the color of the night. " We don't have any foundation, so eyeshadow and lipstick will have to do. "

" No. " I say, wishing I could take a step back. " That's—I—Don't come near me with that. "

I raise my hands in a defensive position, palms out. She smiles at me. " Just close your eyes. "

" I— "

" Just do it, Louisa. This is to get you a prosthetic. " Minho says, putting his hand on one of my arms, lowering them and allowing Nandini to get closer.

" Or maybe they'll like the idea of someone who can't run. Who can't walk away. "

Minho pauses at that. And Nandini talks:

" That's a risk you'll have to take if you want to be able to get a prosthetic. Prove me wrong. Prove that your stronger than you seem—that you're willing to do whatever it takes to survive. "

I huff and cross my arms over my chest as I close my eyes. I immediately start lose my balance but Minho is already there, grabbing my shoulders and steadying me. I'm about to ask what's taking so long when Nandini pushes something on my eyelid. Everything in me screams to open my eye, but I know the brush will probably poke me if I do. I resist the urge to shove her away.

The brush goes from the corner of my eye, out toward my eyebrow. Nandini hums as she does this to both eyes. I flinch every time her brush touches my eyelid. The only reason I'm able to close my eyes and trust her is because Minho is here. He won't let me get hurt.

Unless he's like Newt.

No, no. I won't think like that. I won't let Newt's…. _betrayal_ ruin how I think of people. Not everyone is like that. Not everyone will—

" Stop crying, " Nandini says, " You'll ruin the makeup. "

 _Shit._

" Sorry. " I say as I feel something tickle my eyelashes. Nandini wipes her thumb across the top of my cheekbone, erasing the tears there. I'm so weak. I don't even realize I'm crying anymore. It's like it's become as natural as blinking or breathing.

I hate that.

" Are you sure you aren't putting too much? " Minho asks, sounding bored. His question causes my stomach to flip, but I couldn't care less about my appearance. Or at least, I don't think I do.

" Trust me. " Nandini says and I hear the sound of plastic clinking together and I open one of my eyes. She's got a tube of what I'm pretty sure is lipstick, and it's a rosy pink. My other eye opens, and I blink, my face feeling weird. I can feel the makeup on my eye, and I'm all too aware of the way Nandini is staring at me, her hand under her chin.

" This will have to work. " She says, grabbing my chin and forcing my mouth open slightly. She takes the lipstick and paints my lips with it, changing their color. I don't know what I look like, but I just need to attract attention. Hopefully, she's done her job right and made me look presentable.

" What are we going to do about her pants? " Minho says, looking down at the half of pants swaying from my small movements.

Nandini pulls a knife from her pocket and grabs it, cutting before Minho and I have a chance to react. The knife brushes my bandage and I suck in a breath, waiting for that spark of pain, but nothing happens. Next thing I know, the weight of the pants leg is falling, landing on the floor.

" A warning would've been nice. " I mumble.

She shrugs. " We're done. We should wait across the street, and kick you out in about twenty minutes when they come through looking for lost people. "

" Alright. " I say, hating the idea of going back over there. I just want to stay here, and ignore everyone. It's a shame I can't run away from my own thoughts.

" Actually, " Minho says, moving to stand beside me instead of in behind, " You go on ahead. We'll follow in a couple of minutes. "

Nandini looks between the two of us, then shrugs again before leaving the room. I listen to her quiet footfalls until they leave the store. Minho sits down on the floor, his hands leaving my shoulders. I lower myself until my leg is parallel to the ground, then I lean back with my hands and lower myself that way. I like to think I sat down gracefully, but it was more of a plop.

" What's wrong, Minho? " I ask, leaning back on my hands with my feet—foot—out in front of me.

" Everything. " He mumbles.

I close my eyes. " I know. "

Then, footsteps resonate throughout the main room. My eyes snap open and Minho pokes his head out through the door way, his body tense. I feel around for something I can use as a weapon, wishing I didn't feel so helpless. There's nothing here except sand that's peppered across the floor.

Minho slinks back, his eyes on mine, his posture still tense but he doesn't seem worried.

Then Newt strides into the room and freezes when his eyes lock onto my face.

I feel like crying again.

…..

I walk across the street, wondering what's taking them so long. Nandini walks out of the building, the door clanging shut behind her. She meets my eyes and smiles. I can't find the strength to smile back.

" They're in there. " She says as we pass. I nod and walk to the door, pushing it open and not seeing anything except empty clothing racks. Or, near empty. I don't see them, so they must be in the back room. I make my way towards the door in the other side and see Minho's head. He narrows his eyes at me before ducking back into the room, probably to warn Louisa about me. I regret what I said, and wonder if she does too. What if she doesn't? What if she—

Louisa doesn't look like Louisa.

Makeup is plastered on her face—her lips a soft pink, her eyes a dark black dusted with silver. The gray in her eyes is more prominent. I expect to see a glare there, but there is none. Instead, she looks tired. Like she's already given up.

" You okay? " I ask, trying not to look at her leg. It's my fault she got her leg cutoff. I caused her to run from us and hide in the bathroom. _I_ left her alone.

" I'm fine. " She says, voice shaky. The words are dismissive. She doesn't want to talk to me.

Minho grabs my arm from behind me, standing now. He pulls me out of the room and I nearly trip. I came over here to talk to Louisa and see if she would say something more to me—I don't know what I want her to say, though.

" What the hell do you think you're doing? " Minho hisses under his breath as we come to a stop in front of a barren rack of clothes.

" Trying to apologize, Minho. " I say as I turn to walk back to the room, " Now if you would excuse me. "

" No, " Minho grabs my shoulder and pulls me back. I stumble, " No. You don't get to. She doesn't _want_ you around anymore. I don't want you around her anymore. "

I ignore the sinking feeling in my heart.

" You know how she feels about her family. How guilty she is that she couldn't do anything and yet you go and say _that_ to her? I really, really thought you cared about her more. Don't come near her again. "

My own best friend, siding with Louisa.

" At least let me say I'm sorry. " I sound exasperated, and the look on Minho's face softens the slightest bit. He might know how I feel—I don't know how long he's loved Louisa. I wonder if she loves him back. She just might since I pushed her away.

No, I won't think about that.

Minho nods. " You have three minutes. "

Three minutes to get Louisa to see me in a good light. To show her how sorry I am; to show her that I didn't mean for this to happen. Well, actually, I did since it saved her life, but I didn't mean to say that she couldn't protect her family. I know she can. She just chose us instead. And I chose taking her leg over taking her life. Now, she hates me. Or just really doesn't like me.

Three minutes to say an eternity's worth of apologies.

Bloody hell.

I walk back into the room, feeling the anger coming off of Louisa in waves now. I almost flinch under her glare, and for a moment I wish I'd never even come over here. The urge to run, run far from here and from her hits me but I keep my feet planted. I've never been nervous in front of Louisa—well at least not like this. Not in a way that made me want to walk away from her.

 _I hate you, Newt, and I wish I'd never loved you._

" What do you want? " She asks and I wonder if Minho is going to come in here. I really want him to stay out there.

" I'm sorry. "

A harsh laugh. " Sorry…. " She says, " Sorry is one word, a simple thing. Anyone can say it. "

" Lo, I truly am sorry. " I plead, trying to get her to believe me. It's like she's wielding a hammer, and she has the power to fix or break my heart.

I stride towards her and grab her hand, and to my surprise she doesn't try to wretch away.

" Please, you have to believe me. "

" Don't. " She whispers. " You hurt me. You promised you wouldn't hurt me. "

" I did it to save your life. " I say, rubbing my thumb over her bloodstained knuckles. " I'm sorry. "

" Please, stop. I don't.. " She chokes back tears and I wish my embrace would comfort her, but I would only make things worse. " Just, stay away. Give me time. "

I nod and stand, dropping her hand.

" I'll always love you, Louisa. "

She just closes her eyes and bites her wobbling lip.

I feel like a walking corpse as I trudge out of the room, past Minho, and back to the Gladers. Louisa. So much has happened between us, and I feel like it's coming to an end. But I refuse to give up. I won't let Louisa slip through my fingers. I love her too much; she's too special to me for me to just let her go.

I'll give her space and time. However much time she needs. I'll let her approach me.

Then, we'll be happy.

* * *

 **Poor Newt. Poor Louisa. Poor everyone. I feel so bad for them. Why must I put my character through such hell?**

 **Anyway, hi, sorry I didn't update for almost two weeks. I'm starting to practice softball again and it's going good. Which means my wrist is healing and I will be able to type more, as soon as I find a balance in my schedule.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **The Tezzerax ~ Trueeee**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ DON'T SCREAM CHILD IT'LL BE OKAY**

 **mazerunner26 ~ I'M SO NERVOUS I'M GOING TO SCREW THESE SHIPS UP SO I'M GLAD YOUR OKAY WITH MINHLO**

 **fanficlaur ~ Okay, I'll only do her POV every other chapter then. It's becoming less and less relevant anyway, but there is one part that is needed.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ It was one of the hardest and saddest chapters for me to write. I was about ready to start crying. In the beginning, when I first started writing the Mazerunner fic, Lewt was endgame. Now...I'm not so sure. Also, I WANT TO GIVE MINHO A HUG TOO**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **I'm sorry if you guys didn't like this chapter since it was mainly Louisa getting primped up for what's his face. It was probably boring. I tried to squeeze some Minhlo in there, but honestly, Louisa is not thinking about that right now. I mean, she just had her heart ripped out and now Newt's is too. Two heartbroken characters. I think Newt is going to handle it differently though. Where was I going with this? Oh, yea. Next chapter, action picks up.**

 **I have to reread the second half of the book. I think the stories are going to start weaving together again. Also, it looks like this is going to be longer than 100,000 words. YAY! This will be the longest story I have ever written and I'm so excited.**

 **I'm going to go to ' sleep ' ( i'll be reading kaichou wa maid sama for about four hours ) so have a good night, evening, afternoon, morning!**


	27. Chapter 27

**I had posted an author's note, then took it down and posted an actual chapter. Because I finished it.**

* * *

They left me on the corner of the street. I stand here, holding on to a light pole and doing my best to look nonchalant. I can hear a car running and my stomach flips. Getting kidnapped and possibly raped is scary, especially considering both of those things have happened to me before. But what if they don't even take me?

I glance at the building I know everyone is hiding in. They're probably watching, their own nerves going haywire. I take a deep breath, disguising it as a sigh. All of this, just to get a prosthetic. Because Newt let my leg get cut off.

Fuck him.

And not in _that_ way.

The black car comes to a stop and two men spill out, their eyes clouded with lust. I can see scratches on their arms and I question their sanity, but it's not like there's anything I can do. If these people are going to take me to King Crank, I'll follow them.

" Hello there, miss…. " He says, trailing off.

" Lo. "

" Lo. " He smiles, revealing a row of yellow teeth. I almost cringe, but I manage to keep a smile plastered on my face.

" Are you new here? " He asks while taking a step closer, and I falter my smile, letting a little of the fear I feel shine through.

" Yea. " I say, looking down at my hand that's clenching my shirt. " I'm lost, and there's no one to help me... "

I hear him shuffle, and resist the urge to scream out for someone to come help, knowing they're so close. I've avoided stuff like this, or as much as I could. And now I can't run. It's like I'm a deer stuck in the headlights, unable to move. Actually, make that deer crippled and you have me.

His hand latches onto my wrist and he pulls me to him, causing me to fall, only to land against his chest.

" You can come with us. " He says as the other man walks behind me and grabs my leg, lifting me off the ground. I struggle against his grip, my heart lurching to my throat. The other man hooks his arms underneath my armpits and they carry me towards the car.

" No! " I scream, " Stop! Please! "

They simply laugh.

I feel a familiar lump form in my throat, paired with an icy fear.

" Stop! " I say, though the word nearly chokes me. What if they aren't taking me to the King Crank? There are so many things wrong with this plan, and I don't want to end up dead in a ditch some where. Who is King Crank anyway? Anyone could claim to be him, and I wouldn't know if they were lying or not.

Suddenly I don't want to do this.

" Stop! "I screech as loudly as I can, but they ignore me as they open the trunk to their car. Minho's name bubbles up in my throat, but I clamp down on it, knowing that I shouldn't expose them. " Stop it! I don't want to go with you disgusting assholes! "

They throw me in the trunk with scowls on their faces. Heat in the trunk is intense, and causes a small sweat to break out along my spine.

" What did you call us? " They one with the yellow teeth says. Well, they both have yellow teeth, but this one has red hair.

" My bad. " I say through gritted teeth, shoving fear deep down inside me. " I meant to say, I don't want to go with you perverse, repulsive, bastards. "

White hot pain courses through my jaw and up to my ear, making me blink away tears. It starts to throb, and I know there's going to be a dark bruise there. I grab it with one hand, gently pressing on it to test it's sensitiveness only to be met with a sharp pain.

" Don't speak to us so lowly concubine. Starting tomorrow, you're King Crank's whore. _If_ he approves of you. " The other one hisses and slams the trunk shut, immersing me in complete, absolute darkness.

My lip wobbles and I bite it to stop it. I'll be fine. I'll be okay. If I'm in danger. Minho will save me if I'm in danger. The rest of the Familiars will. They won't abandon me.

I'll be perfectly okay.

But I'm so scared.

I curl into a ball and focus on not hyperventilating. Being in such a confined space reminds me of a few months ago, when I was sent up into the Maze. I half-expect my mind to just empty itself, and to open my eyes to a bright light, and see Newt's face as he helps me out of the box. And almost kissing Minho.

Common sense tells me I'm trapped in the trunk of a car, and that if I'm in here for too long I'll pass out for heat exhaustion.

This sounds like a grand adventure. Why do I keep getting myself into these situations? It's like God himself is out to get me, to make my life hell. I just want to be like the Familiars. And they're lives are horrible. Sadly, still preferable to what I'm doing. I want my leg back. I want Newt back. I want my mom and brother back.

It's a shame that no matter how hard I might wish it, all of those things are gone.

The car jostles suddenly, hitting a bump, causing my to hit my head on the side. I grimace and clutch my throbbing head with one hand. There better not be anymore bumps on our trip to see King Crank.

King Crank.

Probably some old perverted creep.

Why did I let myself get talked into this?

" Minho… " I whisper, clenching the fabric on my sleeves with my free hand.

I'll be okay.

…..

The car drives away, with Louisa in the trunk. She actually looked petrified. Either she's a really good actor, or she shouldn't have done this. I don't want her to feel scared anymore. But this is all his fault. He let her leg get cut off, and she didn't want to be a deadweight, so she's putting herself in danger just for a prosthetic they might not even have.

I grit my teeth.

" We need to move. " I say, rising from the crouch I was in. " Find Thomas and Brenda, get Louisa, and get out of this damned place. "

" I agree. " Frypan says, sounding a bit shaken up. All of us could hear her piercing screams, the words they told her, and her responses. Now I know one thing for sure.

She's braver than I'll ever be.

" We've been here a week already. We aren't anywhere near the place we're supposed to be. " Aris says from his spot leaning against the wall.

" What are you suggesting? " I ask him while turning to face him. After a couple of seconds of silence, he simply shrugs. To me, it's clear as day what he's suggesting. He wants us to leave Louisa behind and go ahead. To save our own asses.

" What do you have against Louisa? " I ask, crossing my arms over my chest. Aris hasn't said much since we've been in the Scorch, but it's clear enough that he doesn't like Louisa. I can't figure out why, but he seems to know something about her. Something that even Newt doesn't know. Maybe she herself doesn't know.

" I heard some stories about her from a friend. "

" And who was this friend? " Newt butts in, finally deciding to say something to defend Louisa, or at least to find a way to protect her.

Aris just shrugs.

" We don't have time to waste on this. " I say, annoyed with Aris' will to keep his secret. We have to go follow that car. If we don't, then we very well may lose Louisa forever. And she is one thing I refuse to give up. " We're leaving. "

I start to walk out of the room, ready to go get Louisa once she gets what she needs. Or if she needs to be saved. But Aris' voice stops me.

" Do you really want to know why I hate that girl so much? " He asks. I look over my shoulder at him.

" It would be preferable, yeah. " I say, turning completely.

" It's because of what she did to one of my friends. "

" How do you know she was the one that did it? " Newt asks from next to Fry, crossing his arms over his chest. At least now he's trying to do something about a situation that involves Louisa.

" Because he told me himself. "

My jaw ticks, annoyed that Aris keeps using pronouns. Can't he just give us a name already?

Do we really want to know?

" Who told you? " Clint asks, scratching the side of his face, smearing the dirt there. Everyone seemingly leans forward intentively as Aris looks at each one of us, a small smirk appearing on his face as his eyes stop on Newt.

" Does the name Reed ring a bell? "

…..

Just when I think I'm going to suffocate, the trunk opens revealing a night time sky. This marks a week we've been in the Scorch, and I'm off trying to get kidnapped. What kind of friend am I to do that? Now they aren't going to move on with the ' quest ' WICKED gave them.

" Get up. " The man grabs my arm and pulls me out of the trunk, throwing me to the ground. I land very ungracefully, with a thud. I wince as I look around and see a large, abandoned factory made of crumbling red brick. The men approach me, their faces twisted in wicked smiles that seem more like grimaces. They don't even seem to notice that I have half a leg missing.

" You're so beautiful, with the moonlight highlighting all the right features. " The one with red hair says, his eyes raking up and down my body. I shrink under his hungry gaze.

" The old man'll like you. " The other one with brown hair says as he pulls me to my feet-foot-and drags me to a door. My face is swollen from his slap earlier, and it aches with each jarring hop I'm forced to take. My leg is tired, not used to supporting all of my weight for so long, but I push through the pain because if I don't, I'll be hurt by these pigs.

At least I was right about him being old. Or middle-aged.

But that doesn't make this any better.

The rusted metal door is yanked open revealing a dark corridor. I swear I can see shadows dancing in the blackness, taunting my helplessness. As I'm dragged in there a musty smell reaches me, along with the metallic scent of blood. A smell I'm all too familiar with.

" Don't you know how to walk on one leg you stupid bitch? " He growls, yanking on my arm and causing me to lose my balance and nearly fall. My hand darts out a the last second, catching myself on the wall. My hand comes away wet and sticky. I cringe.

So that's where that smell was coming from.

" Sorry, " I say shakily, " Just happened a few days ago. Haven't really moved since. You know, loss of blood and all. "

I lied about how long ago it was, considering it was just yesterday.

" Does it look like I care? " I see the silhouette of his head look over his shoulder, at the man trailing us. " Ricky, grab her leg. We aren't moving fast enough. "

I hand clamps down on my leg and lifts it, and their steps immediately speed up. I'm jostled around with no regard for the injury on my hand or leg. Honestly, how do I manage to always be hurt? First I got bit, then I got glass in my hand, and then my leg got lopped off because I got myself bit. That reminds me. I should probably change the bandages around my hand. Or, rather, remove the dirtied shirt and use proper cloths and meshes.

Light fills the hall and I begin to hear shouting. Or cheering. Maybe both. I squint as the voices carry around me and the light gets brighter, and we enter a seemingly large room from what I can tell by the echo. Loud music is playing, drumming through my head with it's fast rhythm. It's something people could easily dance too.

I open my eyes to see bright, flashing lights and sweaty bodies moving to the rhythm of the music. There's a small stage, and atop it sits a hooded man. All I can see is the smile. I try to imagine that his eyes aren't following me, and that he isn't the King Crank, but there's no telling. The eyes of the people in the crowd drift up to him every so often, hoping they have his attention.

He must be pretty important and well respected for people to do that. Then again… These deranged people don't need a reason to look up to a man like that.

I'm shoved and poked at, but the two carrying me make for the door at the other end of the room. It's hard, and the smell of drugs and alcohol drift in the air, but they push through. A couple cranks shout out at us, wondering who the new girl is. I ignore them and squeeze my eyes shut against the pulsing lights. They're starting to give me a headache.

The fear hasn't subsided. I still feel like curling into a ball and crying until the world ends. But I don't. I have to get the prosthetic and I have to get the Familiars out of the Scorch. Newt has to get the cure. I may be unsure about trusting him, but that doesn't mean I want him to suffer a hellish death. I don't want him to die at all. The best thing he could do would be to live and be happy. I'll still help him.

Him, Minho, and all the others.

But it still doesn't stop my hands form shaking in the man's grip.

I hear the clicking of a lock, and the slamming of a door. The air cools and I'm thrown onto a hard floor. I land on my shoulder, hard, and I wince as I open my eyes. A yellow light flickers above me, and the walls are a pale tan and the floors are stained with blood. My stomach drops as the two men tower over me with clouded eyes. What if I'm not here to see King Crank, but to be murdered in this room that's already tainted?

I scoot back as far as I can, using my hands and single leg. " Don't come any closer! "

" Relax, " The red-head says, grabbing my chin, " We aren't allowed to do anything. "

His words do nothing to calm me down. In fact, it has the exact opposite effect.

" At least, not until King Crank decides what's he wants to do with you. " He drops my chin and kicks my injured leg, causing me to cry out with pain. It shoots up my leg and part of my spine, sharp and cutting. The man simply laughs.

" Stop that. He's coming. " The other man says, darting from the door to stand by my side as stoic as a guard. The other follows suit, and soon enough the door is pulled open. Music and colored lights pour in for the slight second it takes the hooded man that walks in to close it. I tense and clench my fists.

"Ah, " The man says in a rough voice, " Welcome to my palace. "

That insufferable smile spreads across his face and I resist the urge to spit at his feet. That won't get me anywhere. _Be nice. Be nice._

" What's your name? " He asks as he crouches down in front of me, his forearms resting on his knees. I try to see underneath his hood, but I can't see anything.

" Louisa. "

He suddenly stands, taking half a step back. The men beside me have shock written across their faces, as if they've never seen this happen before. I was expecting him to _touch_ me, but he didn't.

" Leave. " He says, and the two men in the room hurry out. They fear this man, whoever his is. I knew he had authority, but how much? And why did he order them out?

" Don't come close to me. " I force the words out despite the fact that I had thought I'd be nice. But no. I can't let myself be defenseless. If I can't use my body to attack, I'll use my words. Not that words do much, anyway.

He pulls his hood back, revealing graying brown hair, and green eyes. He reminds me of Noah, but he carries himself differently. He's King Crank. Of course he'll carry himself with arrogance.

" Louisa, what's your last name? " He questions as he squares his jaw. Something about him seems familiar… Something I can't quite pinpoint. He does look like Noah, and that is peculiar, but I think that's why I think he looks familiar. Maybe I'm just trying to cling to something that isn't there.

Does he really need to know my last name? He could know my name since I'm with WICKED. Recognize me. Take me back.

" I won't hurt you. " Strange, he sounds completely normal, even though he's King Crank.

"I don't believe you. " I say, but I see how relaxed his posture his, and how he doesn't seem to have any weapons on him. I guess it won't hurt if he knows my last name. " Kittredge. "

He falls to his knees. His shoulders start to shake and my brows furrow together.

" You've escaped. " The light above us flickers, like it could sputter out at any moment.

" What the hell are you talking about? " I attempt to growl, but it comes out a mere whisper.

" My daughter, you've escaped from WICKED's clutches. "

* * *

 **Shortest chapter I've written in a while. BUT A+ PLOT TWISTS.**

 **Don't be confused guys. You're allowed to be confused, but don't worry. There will be a second draft of this story written, and I'll smooth out the wrinkles but for now I'll make up my own explanations. If you ask the questions, that is. And if you have questions, PM me. I won't spoil anything, but I'll clear away any confusion you might have.**

 **Also, about not updating, Due to the fact that I'm a homeschooled student athlete, I have some assessment tests to take. Forty of them. I have to take them within the month, so I've been super stressed and I feel like hitting my head on a wall. I hadn't been able to concentrate on my writing.**

 **If you want to read a rewritten version of Fighting Against You, check out my profile on Wattpad: Sportsdiamond12. It's not finished, in fact I just started in the beginning of** **January, but there's four chapters rewritten.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **Swagmaster5000 ~ YESSS SHIP SHIP SHIP  
**

 **Guest ~ Crap. I don't mind that it's turning into that, but I suppose I could invest more writing in the plot. I was just trying to sort out the love feelings. Now I'm digging deeper into the plot and I really need to write it out because _I'm_ getting confused. Well not really, but I should probably work it out more. ****  
**

**Chipmunk1123 ~ Nooo please don't cry. I get that the feels are overwhelming and that it's sad, and I cried while writing parts of it, but I'll make everything okay. I hope. Also same. I'd like to give my little smol child Louisa a hug. And everyone else. They all need a hug.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **I'll update as soon as I can guys.**

 **Have a good day, night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to sleep.**


	28. Chapter 28

**What...? Back so soon? Yes. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

" I-impossible! " I stutter out, my mind racing. He could be lying, but he could not be lying. I don't know. " What color were my mom's eyes? Who's my real brother? "

This isn't happening. I'm pretty sure I just saw his dead body hanging from the ceiling a few days ago. It was too grotesque to be fake. But there's no denying that he looks exactly like that person. Did WICKED fake that to get a reaction from me? To measure my brainwaves?

" You're mother's eyes were blue, just like yours. And you had two brothers, one we sent away to protect, and one that took his place. One with blue eyes, one with green. "

I don't know who else would know that. But, why would he leave my mom? She was so heartbroken! He looks fine. Wait, is he even my father? If so he could help me find the first Noah—the one before. Wait, no. He is a crank. No matter how much I want to trust him, I can't. He's too unpredictable.

" How is everyone? What happened to your leg? Is your mother okay? " He asks, and I can't help but feel mad at him. He left us.

" Noah and my mother are dead. And I'm lucky to be alive. " I snap. His eyes widen slightly , but it's as if he expected it. As if he knew the probability of us living was slim. " What are you doing here? How did you become King Crank? "

" There's so much I want to tell you. So much I want to know. "

" So answer me! " I raise my voice, my previous fear dissipating. My ' father ' is King Crank, and he's been alive all this time. What about those dreams I had? They felt so real, like they were memories or something appearing to me. Were they procured by me, or WICKED?

" I left your mother because of the Flare. Then WICKED found me camping out in this building, and gave me stockpiles of the Bliss and told me not to leave. To wait for the arrival of the Subjects. "

" They aren't subjects. " I hiss, wishing I could stand and approach them, " They're people. My _friends._ "

" So they actually put you in the Maze? " He clenches his fists on his dark-colored pants.

" You mean hell? " I say, " Yea. A few things happened. "

He looks angry. Not at me, but at himself. Good. He should feel angry at himself. He abandoned his family. Left us to the hands of WICKED. Now they're all dead. Did he have anything to do with WICKED before the Flare hit? He has to have known Ava since she is my aunt.

" Here's the deal, " I say, my voice strong, "You get me a prosthetic, and a few dosages of the Bliss. Maybe, in return, I'll forgive you for abandoning your family. "

He sits there for a moment, his brows furrowed together. He looks pained, so so pained. For a second I feel a sliver of pity for him. He left his family because he was going crazy, and then WICKED found him and forced him to become a part of the trials. Because of me.

One day, I'll take WICKED down for doing that.

" I can get you a prosthetic, but I can't spare any Bliss. I'm already running low myself. " He shakes his head and I grit my teeth.

" My friends have the Flare, and— "

" How do you know WICKED wasn't lying? " He says, interrupting me, " You can't trust a word they say. You can't trust _anyone. "_

" Then why should I trust you? " I question, once again wishing I could stand. Sitting down makes me feel to weak and vulnerable.

" Because, I have two of your friends. "

" That's bullshit. " I say, but I doubt my own statement. I know Thomas could be stupid enough to get kidnapped, but Brenda… She's too strong.

" Language, Louisa. " He scolds and I roll my eyes. It's a little too late to act like my father.

People outside start to scream and yell, and footsteps thunder around. Some bang on the door they saw their ' ruler ' go in, begging for him to come out and help them, but he stays seated, staring at me. The daughter he hasn't seen since she was four or five. So, he'll abandon the people who follow him too? I've been here for an hour, and all hell has already broken loose.

" They're in the basement. " He grabs his left leg, pulling on it. He pushes at his ankle and I look at him curiously, brows furrowed. He's crazy. He's actually crazy.

And then his leg comes off.

I suppress a scream. What the—how, what? Then I look at the gleaming metal as he holds it up, towards me.

" You can go get them. " He nods towards his prosthetic.

" What? That's your leg I'm not taking that. " I say in a rush, but isn't that what I came here for? A prosthetic so I could save my friends lives?

The screams outside go silent but my dad doesn't seem to notice. He's still holding his leg out towards me, his face sincere.

" Please, take it. " He says, " I don't deserve it. Now your mother is gone, and you don't know who your brother is. Just… please. "

His voice cracks and I hesitantly take the prosthetic. It's medium in weight, and it seems sturdy enough. But it was probably custom made for him. Who knows if it'll fit me? He seems taller, but not much. Either way, if this will even remotely fit me, I'll use it.

But how do I put a prosthetic on?

" Slide your leg into it, and you'll hear clicks as it locks into place. Hopefully, it'll work for you. "

I slide my bandaged into the prosthetic, wincing when I feel it catch on the side and pain shoot up through my leg. It's still throbbing from the man that kicked it. Freaking asshole made my life ten times harder. Still, it's a miracle I even found something I could use.

It's loose around my leg, but not much. My dad stands on one leg, brushing off his pants and extending a hand towards me. There's blood caked under his fingernails but I pretend not to notice as I take it, letting him pull me up. I'm surprised he doesn't fall, but I suppose he has more practice standing on one leg. He sways, but stands strong.

Then, for the first time in two days, I stand on two legs.

I swallow back the lump in my throat as it begins to click, and I move to take a step. My dad doesn't let go of my hand, something I'm grateful for. Because when I take a step, and it works, and I don't fall, I nearly collapse with relief. It's uneven, a little long for me, but it's a leg. I can walk. I'm _walking._

When I get out of his reach, dad lets go of my hand. I look over my shoulder at him, seeing tears stream down his face. Pity rises up inside me again, stirring with a sorrow. He doesn't have a leg anymore because of me, but he gave it to me. It was his choice. I won't feel bad for taking something he offered.

But, of course, I still do.

" Will you be okay? " I ask, knowing the answer. He'll die in this room unless his ' friends ' save him, or unless WICKED decides he could still be of use.

" I'll be fine. " He says, even though he knows I know he's lying, " Go avenge your mother. And Noah. Make their deaths mean something. "

Before I know it, I'm crying.

My dad is standing in front of me, sacrificing his leg for me. Telling me to go destroy the people that prolonged his suffering for some stupid trials. The people that killed his family and hurt his daughter.

He still cares.

I rush forward and nearly collapse into his arms. " Dad, " I sob, trying to regain balance since he was losing his, " I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't protect them. I'm so sorry. "

He wraps his arms around me, and for the first time I can remember, he embraces me. He just holds me, and I feel his teardrops land on my shirt, and mine on his. This wasn't the reunion I wanted. I wasn't even expecting a reunion, but I don't want it do be like this. I don't want our first hug to mean goodbye.

" It's okay, Louisa. " He pats my head, smoothing my hair down, " Everything will be okay. "

Meant to be reassuring, but it just makes me cry harder.

" You have to go. Get the cure, save your friends, avenge our family. " He grabs my shoulders and reluctantly pushes me away, and I wipe my hands on my eyes.

 _Our family._

" I promise, I promise to kill the bastards that took them from us. " I say in a shaky voice, and I hope he knows I mean it. But he just smiles through his own tears.

" Language, Louisa. "

I manage a small smile, but it falls as I turn away. I won't say goodbye, because I don't want this to be goodbye. Thirty minutes ago he was a stranger, King Crank, an enemy. Now he's my dad, someone I failed, someone who just gave their life for me.

My hand pauses on the doorknob, and I look over my shoulder at him.

" Ill come back for you. I'll get the cure and come back. " A senseless promise, considering the odds of me being able to keep it are slim. But I'll try.

And then I open the door and walk away.

And then I freeze in my steps as the door shuts behind me.

Newt and Aris with knives, circling a group of Cranks. The other Familiars standing there, arms crossed over their chest yet tense and ready to attack. Jorge looking alert but bored as ever, and Nandini and Blake talking amongst themselves. Minho is talking with Thomas and Brenda, until he sees me. His words get stuck in his throat and he starts to make his way towards me.

" What the hell… ? " I trail off as I take another step. They finally notice me, their faces lit with surprise. Newt catches my eyes, then he stares at the bruise on the side of my face. I force myself to turn away and face Minho, who's running forward and practically leaping over unconscious cranks.

His hands land on my shoulders and he turns me this way and that, searching for any bruises or injuries. They go to the side of my face and I wince at the contact with my swollen cheek. He eases his touch up, then pulls me into a bone crushing hug.

" You look like shit. " He says.

" You don't look too much better. " I say as I wrap my arms around him. My eyes are itching from the dried tears, and hopefully they won't pick up on how red my eyes are. I bury my face in the crook of his neck. It may have been brief, but my little adventure was terrifying.

Someone clears their throat and Minho pulls away, and then his eyes narrow when he sees mine. But he doesn't say anything.

" Well, I've got what I need, and we have those two. " I nod towards Thomas and Brenda. " We should go. "

The air between Thomas and Brenda is weird, different, and awkward. She seems pissed at him, and he looks hurt. I don't know what happened between these two, but they had better not let it affect the rest of us.

" I agree. " Minho says before addressing the cranks, " We're leaving now. Don't follow us, you'll be fine. Follow us, you'll be dead. Pretty easy choice, don't ya think? "

Somehow, Minho took the leader role from Jorge. Well, Minho's always been one to take charge, but Jorge seems stubborn. Eh, whatever. I don't really care right now. All that matters is getting out of this city and onward to our destination. Oh, and living. Living matters.

But my dad is still on my mind. In that room, probably crying to himself. I ignore the pinch in my heart as I walk down the dark hall. The door at the end is open, and sunlight was pouring in, making the blood on the walls visible. I can feel it, dried and cracked on my hand. I want to wash it off, but there's no where I can do that, so I settle for scraping it off the ripped shirt that's wrapped around my hand and the skin surrounding it.

Frypan claps me on the back, " Welcome back, she-bean. Glad you aren't dead. "

By some miracle, I manage a small smile. " Thanks. "

I step into the bright sun, immediately feeling the blistering heat. How long was I gone? Last time I checked, the sun was going down. Now it's risen, and heating everything up to its content. Maybe that ride in the car trunk was longer than I had originally assumed.

I slow to a stop, waiting for the rest of them. We're in an alley, and the car I was taken here in is still resting there, sunlight gleaming off of it. I squint at the glare, as Minho walks out talking about making a run for it, and how we're almost out of the city. I trust he knows where he's going, so I'll follow him.

" Hey! " A familiar crazed voice screeches, and everybody turn towards the person yelling. It's one of the two that kidnapped me, and he's holding a gun. Pointed at us.

No, not all of us, that'd be impossible. But instead it's pointed at...

" Thomas move! " I yell, but I'm too late. The gun goes off, a bullet pierces Thomas's left shoulder.

He stumbles back and falls onto the cement, blood oozing from his wound. The gun goes off again and I look away from Thomas just in time to see Minho tackle the crank, causing the gun to skitter across the cement.

I rush to pick the small pistol up, kind of like a limping sprint. I expect its weight to feel foreign in my bandaged hand, but surprisingly, also scarily, it feels comfortable. So I aim it at the bastard that shot my friend.

" Minho, move! I'm gonna blast him! " I steady my hand, but I can't get a clear shot with Minho throwing punches.

All of a sudden he moves away, and I pull the trigger without hesitation.

The bullet hits the crank right in the middle of his forehead and he stills, a pool of blood beginning to form around his dead body. I stare at him and the blood that's starting to run down the side of his head, breathing hard. I just murdered someone else, and didn't think twice about it.

Again.

I'm numbly aware of Minho grabbing my arm and pulling me away, towards the Familiars that were now carrying Thomas away. Cranks were spilling out of the door behind us, cackling and screaming at us. I waste no time sprinting, even if I'm about half as fast as I used to be. Minho matches his pace with mine, unwilling to leave me behind. I can see the end of the city in the distance, mountains behind it. That's where we have to go, I just know it.

" We have to slow them down. " I say to Minho as I take my finger off the trigger of the gun. He nods.

We stop, and the familiars turn to look at us but we wave them on. They go, a bit hesitantly. I smile at them, hopefully reassuringly as we turned to face the cranks. My stomach is doing flips, but I take one look at Minho and all of my doubts disappear. The determination he has spreads to me and I grin at his smile.

I raise my gun. Minho unsheathes his knives.

And we listen to the cranks scream as their world goes to hell.

Their screeches pierce the air, echoing off buildings as I shoot at them, watching them fall with a fire raging in my eyes. _One._ Shot in the leg _. Two._ Headshot. _Three._ Stomach. _Four._ Chest _._ Minho is using his knives, slicing wherever he can. I try to aim my shots away from him, so I don't accidentally hit him. I don't know what I would do if that happens.

Minho is fast, and the cranks barely have time to react before they fall to the ground. I do the same, covering Minho and keeping them away from me. They get close a couple of times but they always end up with a bullet embedded in their brain.

Just as I get to my thirteenth shot, the gun jams.

I growl as I hit the chamber of the gun with the palm of my hand, aiming it at the ground. A crank runs towards me, laughing at my struggles. I hear Minho shout my name but it seems quiet, far away and distant. I check the mag, pulling it out and looking for the jammed bullet. I see that it isn't loaded properly, sitting crooked, but there isn't any time to fix it.

I plant my prosthetic leg on the ground as a stabilizer, kicking out with my other just as the maniacal crank gets within reach. It makes contact with his ribs, causing him to fall to the ground as the breath is released from his lungs. He sputters and gasps, but I don't waste my time. I slam the heel of my foot on his head, making him lose consciousness and quite possibly causing brain damage.

" Louisa! " Minho slides one of his knives across the concrete as another crank attacks me. I bend down and catch it in my hand as I swing my leg out, tripping the crank. He tries to stand but I drive the knife in his leg, effectively keeping him down. I remove it, causing blood to flow out of his wound, but he doesn't have any time left. I plunge the knife into his chest, ignore the spray of blood on my arms and face.

" Thanks. " I breathe out once I stand and realize that all of the cranks are dead. Minho and I killed them.

" What happened to the gun? " He asks, jogging over towards me and nodding at the silver weapon on the ground. I didn't realize I dropped it.

" Stupid thing jammed. " I bend down and pick it up, pulling the mag out again. There it is, that stupid, rusted bullet that nearly stopped me from saving my own life.

" How do you even know how to shoot it? " He asks as I dig the bullet out with my two forefingers. It hurts my fingers, but somehow I manage to pull it out.

" Just kind of felt like I knew what I was doing. " I shrugged. He shook his head. " What? " I ask as I shove the mag back into the gun, and test how it feels in my hands.

" You're just amazing. " He slips an arm around my waist and I smile at him.

" I know. " I start to walk away, heading towards the group of Familiars in the distance, that have become nothing more than a medium sized dot on the horizon. They must've been running like their lives depended on it. And Thomas's kind of does. Or maybe it just took us longer than we thought it was. Either way, it looks like they've slowed to a stop.

" Wait. " Minho says, and in two quick strides he was next to me. " What happened? "

I thought I had done a good job hiding it. But this is Minho, and he sees everything.

" King Crank is my father. " I drop my head and quieten my voice, kind of ashamed about it. My dad is a womanizing, concubine keeping man-whore.

But he is my dad.

" Wait, what? " Minho questions, his confusion drawing his eyebrows together. I feel my eyes start to sting again, and I shake my head not in the mood to cry.

" I don't wanna talk about it. "

" That's okay. I'm here for you when you do. " He puts a hand on my arm reassuringly, and plants a kiss on my bruised and swollen cheek, so lightly it's more of a brush.

" Thanks, Minho. " I say as we start to walk again. We set out at a slow pace, tired from fighting the cranks. I hold the gun loosely in my left hand. Knowing that I have three shots left is a small comfort considering I don't know what other enemies we could face in the Scorch.

Hopefully none.

Minho's staring at the ground, lost in his thoughts. I bump my shoulder into his as we walk, causing him to glance up at me.

" What's wrong? " I ask, kind of scared as to what he might say.

" It's just something Aris said. "

" You can't believe anything that shuck face says. " I say, adopting the Glader slang. Minho softly smiles, but it disappears with his next thought.

" He mentioned something about Re— "

The sound of an engine drowns out his words, and we look up to see a giant flying metal machine of death soaring towards the other Familiars.

" Oh shit. " I mumble before I take off in a sprint. Minho follows, easily catching up. If I had a better prosthetic this would be easier, and I would be faster, but instead I stumble along. A shadow of what I used to be. But enough to get me going where I'm supposed to be.

" Keep up! " Minho yells as he speeds up. I try, nearly tripping in the process. He doesn't look over his shoulder, but races on to save his friends from whoever the hell is in that thing. I already have an idea of who it is, but I don't know what they'd be doing here.

I just run.

* * *

 **A little badassery in there for you guys. A little Minhlo, some feels. Overall, I really liked this chapter. And the story is advancing and Louisa can walk and just... YAYY!**

 **Now I have to get emotional because MARCH 16TH WILL MAKE A YEAR SINCE I STARTED WRITING ABOUT LOUISA AND HER LIFE AND THE MAZE AND STUFF. I've decided to make that her birthday, so cupcakes for everyone.**

 **Also, we hit the 100,000 word mark! I was so excited about all of these things that I started writing a lot. I nearly pulled an all-nighter last night I was so excited.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **Darkwolf105521 ~ Oh my God thank you so much. I'm actually currently writing a book that I'm going to try to self publish. Even though you're only on chapter 5, you'll read this eventually.**

 **Guest ~ I updated as soon as I could.**

 **FiveBestFriends, AKA DigiArtisit ~ I won't hate someone because they ship something. I actually completely agree with you.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **I'm so excited about this story guys. I have my other one to update, but I'll update this one after. I promise. Two updates before March 16.**

 **I'm currently watching the anime Black Butler with my mom, so I'll wrap this long author's note up.**

 **Have a good day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!**


	29. Chapter 29

**hehehe**

* * *

The flying machine of death touches down, and people spill out of it. It looks like they're after Thomas as they hover around him. The other Familiars scatter, getting out of their way. I'm still too far away to do anything about it—so is Minho. instead of running faster, I slow to a walk as they take Thomas onto their machine and fly away.

Minho looks over his shoulder from roughly fifty feet away, his gaze like fire. He's pissed that someone took Thomas and that he couldn't do anything. I don't blame him. Except, I have a feeling Thomas is safe. He is the prize Subject anyway, and that was WICKED that just took him. Or, at least I'm pretty sure it was. Who else would use such an expensive mode of transportation?

My leg aches as I limp to Minho. I can feel the burn pulling and screaming at me, telling me to stop, but I don't. I keep walking.

" It was probably WICKED. " I say when I get close enough to him. The words don't seem to comfort him, and they certainly don't comfort me. At least it wasn't some rogue group of people. Or maybe it was. I don't know. " Let's go meet up with the others. "

He nods, and we set off walking to the Familiars. The city was a mile behind us, the Familiars a mile ahead. I don't know how they got so far ahead of us while carrying an injured person, but I guess the drunk cranks were no match for fast and scared shitless.

" How's your leg? " Minho asks, nodding down towards it. I glance at it. The prosthetic looks weird on my leg, and it has my dad's shoe on the foot, making it look even weirder.

" It's aching a little, and the burns hurt, but other than that it's fine. " I shrug, then remembered how he got hit by lightning. How did I forget _that_? His burns are still evident on his face and the scorched shirt, that's tattered now. " How are your burns? "

" They hurt like hell. "

" You _were_ hit by lightning. "

" We're both messed up. " He laughs lightly, making a joke out of it. I smile softly, but I can't manage more than that. Our situation is messed up. Stranded in a desert for the sake of an experiment. One of us is missing her leg and the other is burnt and missing most of his shirt.

" I think you mean we are the very definition of perfection. " I cross my arms over my chest and he chuckles, moving a little closer to me. If my arm were still hanging by my side, our hands would brush.

So I leave my arms crossed over my chest.

" That's the smartest thing I've heard you say. " He says and I shove him with my shoulder, grinning but trying to scowl.

I can hear the screams of cranks from inside the city, finding their dead friends. Hopefully they'll see the bullet wounds and think one of their own betrayed them and not come seek us out. If we run into another group of cranks, I don't know if we'll survive. Of course, there isn't any cover, so if they see us they very well may chase after us.

And then we'd be screwed.

Eh. It's not like we aren't screwed anyway.

" We need to get out of the sun. I feel like I'm in an oven. " I wipe a hand across my face, smearing dirt and sweat together. I feel icky, but there isn't anything I can do about it.

Minho nods. " It looks like the Gladers are up to something. "

I narrow my eyes at the small cluster of people in the distance, seeing them building something. I don't think any of them were Builders, so whatever is built will probably be dangerous. I'm not in any position to complain. If it keeps me out of the sun, I'll bow down to whoever built it.

" Building. " I say, " With branches that are scattered. "

Where the hell did the branches come from? I don't see any trees around here. Maybe they were left there by WICKED on purpose.

It's obvious the same question is rattling around Minho's brain, but I doubt he has the same suspicions I do. They don't know as much about WICKED as I do. Maybe I should tell them. But then they would hate me for helping such a group of people. I don't even know if I care if they hate me anymore.

" That doesn't make sense, but okay. The shanks can do whatever they want. "

I cast a sideways glance at him. " You okay? "

He seems… off. I don't know what it is, or how I noticed, or why I noticed. Something is bothering him.

" As okay as I can be, I suppose. Pissed off, upset, feeling hopeless. " He shakes his head, " This damned situation is ridiculous. Didn't you say it was for brainwaves? What do they need those for? Why are we so important? Why are we needed to cure the Flare? Why us? Why do _we_ have to suffer? "

He's never been so open with me. I'm stunned into silence. He's not wrong. He put everything I was feeling into words and communicated them with a person, when all I could do was let the emotions simmer under the surface until they erupted into a raging boil.

" I don't know the answer to any of your questions, Minho. But if I haven't lost hope yet, then you shouldn't. "

I haven't lost hope yet. Or at least not completely. I may have been bitten, betrayed, heartbroken and crushed, but I'm not ready to give up. No matter how much I want to, there's too much I need to do. Besides, if I give up, that's admitting defeat to WICKED, and I am not about to do that.

" Don't let WICKED win. " I mumble, reaching down for his hand before I realize what I'm doing. I stop, mere centimeters from his fingertips, and tuck my arms behind my back and walk like that. Why do I have the urge to comfort Minho? To hug him? Hold his hand?

He's so busy staring the ground he doesn't even notice.

Good. I don't want to be involved with anyone in that way. It would hurt Newt too much. It would hurt me, too. It's not like I look at Minho and see Newt. But…Newt left a wound greater than anything I've ever faced, and I'm not sure how to handle it. Until I figure that out and get over this, there's no way I could make an advance on Minho. It's unfair to him.

Whatever. Thinking about it is making my head hurt.

….

Okay. I think I severely misjudged Louisa. She isn't weak or pathetic like I told her.

She's badass.

She killed thirteen cranks like it was nothing. Just shot them and they fell. But her shots were accurate and they hit where they were supposed to. That's more than most grown men can say. And she just got a prosthetic, and it's like she is already used to it and can fight.

" Nandini, are we going to follow them any further? " Blake asks me, " I was kind of looking for my dad in the city. "

Right. " You said he would probably follow the Subjects around, right? So you could just stick with us for a little while longer. " I hope I'm not sounding to clingy or pleading. I really want him to stay with us. He helped fix my arm when it was hurt a couple days ago. It still aches, of course, but he knew what was wrong and he made an effort to help. No one has really done that before.

" I don't know… " He says, trailing off and sounding unsure. He wants to see his dad, and we're keeping him from doing that. I'm keeping him from doing that.

" You don't have to stay with us, of course. You can leave if you want. You've always been able to leave if you wanted to, but I'm glad you chose to stay with us this long. I found my brother because you helped me and I'm very grateful for that and one day I'd really like to be able to thank you properly. For now you'll have to settle for— "

He's kissing me.

His _lips_ are on mine and he's _kissing_ me.

What?

Heat rushes to my face as his hands go to my shoulders. I feel the urge to push him away but I also want to pull him closer and I also really _really_ feel like hitting him. Why does he always make my heart speed up? Why does he make me so nervous? I hate it.

He pulls away and I'm still frozen with shock.

" I'll take that as my reward. " He smiles down at me and I try to respond with something sarcastic, but no sound comes out. What is wrong with me?

" Nandini! Come help with this! " Someone shouts over from the structure they're building. I gleefully accept the distraction and excuse to step away from Blake, that green-eyed bastard. Maybe I could ask Newt about this. It would bring us closer as siblings, right?

I walk over to the dark-skinned guy, Frypan, I think, and squint my eyes at the two figures in the distance slowly making their way towards us. I was surprised when she walked out of there with the prosthetic. I knew very well that King Crank was a cripple, and that he was the only one with a prosthetic in the vicinity. How she got it is a mystery to me. Maybe she bribed him.

I don't know.

" Go gather some more wood please. " Frypan says.

" I'm not in your little group. " I put my hands on my hips, glad to find that I can talk. " Don't order me around. "

" Okay, fine. Be a burnt chicken. See if I care. " Frypan huffed and stood, picking up various pieces of wood and fallen branches. Where the branches came from is unknown, but I haven't been out this way in a very long time. About two years…? I wouldn't know what had changed.

I stride over to Newt, who is standing, talking with another blond-haired boy. His name is Aris from what I can remember, but I'm not one-hundred percent sure about that.

" Newt, " I say, " Can we talk? "

He nods and looks at Aris. Aris glances between us then rolls his eyes as he walks away.

" What's wrong? " He asks, but his mind seems somewhere else. He keeps glancing towards the city, where Louisa and that asian kid are coming from. I resist the urge to roll my eyes.

" Honestly, Newt. " I say, putting a hand on his arm, " You messed up. Big time. I know you saved her life, but you should have waited until she could have considered it. She probably feels betrayed and now she's run into the arms of someone else. " With each word I said, his face grew more solemn. I remember that day I first saw them together, holding hands and talking to each other with smiles on their faces. Now, I don't think I'll ever see that again. I don't think Newt will ever get to do that again.

And for some reason, it pisses me off.

" But that's not the reason I wanted to talk to you, " I say, steering the subject back to what I wanted to talk about, " I need advice. "

" I doubt I'll be of much help, but I'll try. "

" Um, well, you see, " I stutter over my words, wondering if he's really the right person to go to, " Ugh! Never mind. "

" Is it about Blake? " He asks, mildly bored and not very attentive. His gaze keeps drifting over to Louisa, who was only about fifteen minutes away now.

" Yeah. " I lower my head, trying to hide the red flush on my face.

" Do what you feel like doing. "

He was right.

That didn't help at all.

" I feel like knocking him on his ass for ki— " I cut my words off, but it was too late. Newt narrows his eyes at me, and then at Blake, and then back to me. " For killing those bastards that kidnapped me. I really wanted to get my revenge. "

What a lame attempt to cover something up. But he lets it go.

" Bloody hell. " He mumbles, putting a hand to his forehead and shaking his head. " You're so violent. "

" I know. It's awesome. " I reply, glad he's letting the subject drop. I can't remember what kind of brother he actually is, but I really hope it isn't the overprotective type.

He just shakes his head more. " So violent. "

I laugh, unable to keep it in. A conversation with my brother seemed impossible just days ago, and now, here I am, talking to him. About semi-normal things.

Maybe life isn't as hellish as I think it is.

….

By the time we get to the little camp area they've constructed the small wooden building, and are huddled inside out of the sun. I duck my head and walk in, immediately noticing the slight difference in temperature. It's cooler, but it won't be for long if there's so many people in here.

" I'm back. " I announce, sitting on the opposite side of the hut from Newt. Which happens to be next to Aris, but I would much rather sit next to him than Newt at the moment. It still hurts to look at him, much less talk to him. Every time I look at him, I see the boy from the Maze. The one that would laugh with me and the one that helped me pick tomatoes. And then a new image is layered over it, one of a boy that's holding me down while someone butchers my leg.

It's distorting my senses and I hate it. I hate him, but I love him.

And I hate _that_ too.

" You seem to be in a good mood. " Aris says as Minho sits next to me, our legs barely brushing. There's light coming in through the small holes in the ceiling, causing white dots to cover the sandy ground. Which is very hard on my butt, by the way.

" As good as I can be. " I say, reaching down and grabbing the prosthetic. I need to check on my leg, see how it's doing. Make sure it isn't getting infected. There's no way I'm going through that hell again.

It comes off easily, and I set it down in front of me. The bandages around my leg are no longer a pristine white, which is expected. Instead, they're stained red and a rusty brown from the blood, with an orange-ish yellow-ish color from the dirt and sand. My leg stings and burns like crazy, but I'll live.

" Who's is that? " Fry asks, his eyes staring at the metal and plastic thing on the ground next to him. I shrug.

" It was given to me. That's all I know. " I say, glancing up at him. Nandini and Blake are sitting next to him, but they're giving each other the cold shoulder. Blake seems to be touching her wherever he can without making it obvious, and she looks dreadfully confused and red.

" She probably killed someone for it. " Aris drapes an arm over one of his propped up knees.

" Jorge, do you have anymore bandages? " I ask, looking at the bag next to him. It's looking kind of empty now, but I guess when you've got a group of teenagers supplies tend to deplete quickly.

" Yeah. " He says and he grabs his bags and walks over to me. I wish the hut they built was bigger, so everyone didn't have to sit so close. No offense to them, but I would like to have some alone time to think. But that isn't going to happen any time soon.

He unwraps the bandage from my leg and I turn my head, not wanting to look at it. I know it's a mess of burnt flesh and blood. No need to look at it. It hurts as he starts to wrap the fresh bandage around it, tighter than he did the first time, but I grit my teeth and deal with it.

" Anybody have any food? " I ask and they shake their heads no. I resist the urge to groan. I haven't eaten in a couple of days. And don't even mention water. If I go any longer without water I'll probably die. I can feel dehydration's effects, but they're dull compared to my leg and the throbbing in my hand.

" How did you know how to shoot a gun? " Newt asks, looking at the gun in my lap. The safety is on, of course, and my hand is resting on top of it, relaxed. Guns scare some people, but for some reason I'm completely comfortable with it.

" Magic. " I grin, but he looks annoyed with my response. Jorge goes back to where he was sitting, next to Brenda. Brenda looks like worried, probably because of Thomas. I could put her on the spot, ask her a question about it and dare her to lie. How could she be so worried about Thomas when she just found out Noah was dead a couple of days ago?

God. Noah. How would he feel if he knew that dad was still alive? Or at least, was still alive. I don't know if he'll live anymore since I took his leg.

" So, are we going to wait for WICKED to bring Thomas back? Or are we going to continue on through the mountains and hope he can find us? " I ask, grabbing my prosthetic and putting it back on. Thomas should be fine. WICKED always held him up on a pedestal, claiming he had the best chances. Best chances for what? I don't know, but he should live. Why would WICKED kill their prized subject?

" We're going to wait. " Minho says, not even bothering to consult anyone else. But I trust him.

" Okay, I'm going to sleep. " I stretch out and lay down, knowing there is enough room for everyone to do that if they wanted. " Do not touch my gun. "

" When did it become yours? " Fry asks with a hint of amusement in his voice.

" When I killed someone with it. " I mumble curling into a ball, ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach. All of my exhaustion hits me at once as I close my eyes, and I drift off into a deep sleep for the first time in a long time.

….

My eyes flutter open.

There's no one here.

That's the first thing I notice and it causes me to jump up, scanning the small area. I crawl to the entrance, kind of awkwardly, and poke my head out of the doorway. The sun is blinding for a moment and I squint against it before the world comes into focus.

There are voices, yes, but there's also the hum of a machine and the roar of an engine. Thomas is standing about fifty feet from me, surrounded by Familiars and tied up with a thick rope. His face is pale but clean, along with his clothes. They raise a little at the shoulder, probably due to the bandages I'm assuming he has wrapped around it.

It took WICKED long enough to bring him back. I don't know how long it's been, but we wasted time staying here. It's not like I don't like Thomas, I do, but staying here was something we couldn't afford to do.

But we did it anyway.

The Familiars, along with Blake, Nandini, Jorge, and Brenda, turn around and start walking back towards the hut as Minho cuts the ropes around Thomas's waist and torso. They look ragged and wild, covered in dirt with disheveled hair and blood-stained clothes.

What a weird bunch of people.

Minho was right. Why _us_? We're so different yet similar, but our brainwaves are what's important. They can be used to find a cure, but how? How are we so beneficial to saving the human race? Why would WICKED go to such lengths to save Thomas from a gunshot, but not to save me from a bite? Is it because they knew I would live?

I wish I could give up trying to figure it out. Whenever I do I feel dull and ignorant, like a puppet on a string, stuck in WICKED's twisted hands.

" About time you woke up. " Minho says when he gets close enough. I retreat out of the sun and back into the hut, loving the way my face instantly cooled.

" Pshh. I wasn't asleep for that long. " I scoot back until I barely touched the rickety wall, and feel around for my gun. It isn't in my hands, or my pants, and I don't see it on the other side of the room. Knowing my luck, I'll accidentally sit on it, turn the safety off and shoot myself in the ass.

Oh, how comical it would be for them to have to dig a bullet out of _that._

And also very mortifying and embarrassing.

My hand brushes the gun as the Familiars file in, sitting down and leaving room for Thomas. I grab it and check the safety before putting it in my lap. No one sits next to me, probably knowing that Minho would want to. Or maybe they're just scared. I don't care.

Newt takes one of the only empty spots in the room that just happens to be directly on my left.

Well, I didn't care a few seconds ago, but now I wish I could switch spots with someone. He's so close I feel like I might suffocate or burst into tears or something. It just… It _hurts._

Minho sits on my right, and Thomas takes the middle of the room.

And then the room erupts.

" Where did you go? "

" How's your shoulder? "

" Why do you look so clean? "

" Have fun in the berg? "

Everyone except Nandini and Blake asks questions. My eyebrows rise when Jorge says ' berg ' simply because the word sounds ridiculous. But I guess that is what WICKED is calling their little ship. Or ships, since I'm going to assume that they have more.

Thomas looks overwhelmed and shocked from what just happened to him. I'm about to speak up and tell them to shut up, but Minho beats me to it.

" Shut up, you bunch of sissies. He'll tell us if you shut your yappers. "

And he does.

A headache blossoms just as Thomas starts to talk about aliens in green suits and a bright, white light. I massage my head with my hand, ignoring some of the funny looks that are sent my way.

" …. was something…. Candidates…. "

I'm unable to focus enough to pick up on his words. My head is swimming and my stomach is flipping, a sign of what's about to happen. I feel annoyed because of it, simply because I know enough to survive at the moment. I don't need to remember anymore.

But that doesn't stop my mind from thrusting me into another pit in a vast hell.

…..

" _Are you sure? " Chancellor Ava Paige asks, raising her eyebrows at me. Her office seems hotter than usual, and there's a loud thumping noise._

 _Or maybe that's just my heart hammering in my ribcage._

" _I'm sure. "_

" _Once you volunteer, there's no going back. " She starts to write something down, her pen smoothly gliding across the paper. I try to peer at it, but her handwriting is illegible to anyone but herself. A mess of scribbles._ " _I'm not going to lie, you would make an excellent Subject, but your mother is strongly against you going into the Maze. "_

 _I don't care. Not anymore. Newt is suffering. He tried to kill himself because of it. Minho is looking more and more hopeless everyday, and I don't know how much longer either of them are going to last. Reed is going up next month, and I want to take his place._

" _Please, consider it. I would love to benefit humankind. " That's another reason I want to do it. If I'm a strong contender to be a Candidate, then I'll do it. I want to cure the Flare, the thing that drove my father mad and led him to kill himself._

" _I will consult them. " She glances up from her work at me, a pleased smile on her face, " You are dismissed. "_

 _I turn and leave her office, heading to lunch. We're supposed to be having burgers today, and I do not want to be late for that. When you're late for something like that, all the good toppings like lettuce and tomato are gone and all you're left with is ketchup._

 _My heels click on the floor and I bit back a wave of annoyance. Just because I'm fifteen does not mean I have to wear these stupid freaking things that make noise and announce my presence wherever I go. I also had to start wearing a dress, sleek and black, and it makes me want to scream. What if this facility gets attacked by cranks? I won't be able to defend myself very well._

 _The cafeteria is noisy, surprisingly. Most of the time there's just muffled conversations, but today, all of the contenders that haven't gone into the Maze are gathered into one place._

 _It must be the monthly meet-up._

 _I hate that, simply because all of the girls for group B are always whining about something. And trying to flirt with all my guy friends. I mean, they reside in a completely different building than ours, and we only see each other once a month. It's pointless to try and build a relationship like that._

 _I find Reed in the crowd, alone, by himself at a table. I pity him, because his awkwardness throws people off. Some say that when you get your memories removed, your attitude will change. If he goes into the Maze, I hope he gets more outgoing._

 _I squeeze my way to the line and get my food, my stomach growling all the while. The burger smells good, and the bread looks relatively fresh. I wonder if they made it, or if they bought prepackaged bread? I suppose it doesn't matter, but I have a right to be curious._

 _It's easy to navigate the tables because everyone is sitting down, so I reach Reed quickly. We've gotten closer since Newt left, mainly because we were both fairly close to him._

 _I pass my brother on the way there, who has his arm around Harriet with a goofy smile plastered on his face. He loves her so much, I don't know what he's going to do when she gets sent up. He's going to go through what I went through, and I really don't want that, but I won't keep him away form her._

" _Hey. " I say as I sit down across from Reed. He glances up from his food, his features brightening when he sees me. I smile at him as I grab my burger._

" _How did it go? " He asks. I pause mid-bite to answer._

" _Decent enough. She said she'd consider. " I take a bite of my food, savoring the favor._

" _You don't have to. " He says, pushing his plate away from him. It's mostly empty, save for a slice of onion._

" _No offense, but I'm not doing this for you. " I try to put the words as nicely as I can, then take another bite of my burger._

" _I know, but would Newt really want you to do this? Would Minho? "_

" _They can't stop me. They don't remember me. "_

" _Yea, but— "_

" _Drop it, Reed. " I snap, not wanting to talk about it. I'm petrified about going into the Maze, but if I can help Newt and Minho and all of my other friends, I'll do it._

 _I'll do anything for them._

… _._

The first thing I notice is that I'm being carried.

The second is the coolness of the air, meaning it's night time.

I open my eyes and see a dark sky. Stars are scattered across it like grains of salt, bright and shining. The moon is gleaming, allowing us to have enough light to walk by. We're walking uphill, that much I can tell from the way the person that's carrying me is moving.

 _Who_ is carrying me?

The gait is uneven, but I really hope I'm wrong.

I look up, blond hair, brown eyes.

Newt.

" Put me down. " I say, forcefully, startling him and causing his eyes to widen. He hesitates. " Put. Me. Down. " My voice shakes as my heart rattles around in my ribcage. It annoys me that his touch still causes sparks and my heart to speed up. I don't want it to.

My feet land on the uneven ground and I take a few steps away from him, nearly stumbling on loose rocks. My eyes start to sting and I squeeze them shut. I will not cry. I _will not cry._ Not because of Newt, not because of anything.

Why was he carrying me, anyway? I guess Minho got tired, and I feel bad for him having to take care of me like this. I'm still so dependent on these people; it sickens me. Useless, hopeless, worthless, selfish. The words are repeated in my mind like a mantra. _Worthless._

I volunteered to jump into hell. I can't believe I did that. Well, actually, I can. Newt and Minho were in the Maze, suffering, and I was watching. _Useless._ I didn't go in Reed's place. That much is obvious, and I definitely didn't save his life or anything. When did I go up into the Maze? How much longer was it before I saw them?

I walk right into Thomas's back. I open my eyes and see that he stopped, and is staring ahead, unmoving.

" What's wr— " The words are cut off as I step around Thomas.

Teresa is standing there, holding a spear, looking like she's ready to start stabbing the first thing that moves. Other girls seem to appear out of thing air next to her, holding bows and lethal looking knives. I glance over my shoulder and see more girls surrounding us. They all have weapons, and they all look fucking terrifying.

Isn't group B supposed to kill Thomas?

" What's this crap Teresa? " Minho says, " Nice way to greet your long-lost buddies. "

Teresa walks froward, holding the spear in front of her. She stops a few feet in front of Newt and Minho, her eyes searching for someone or something.

" What the bloody— "

" Shut up. " Teresa says, not snapping it but saying it with conviction, " Any of you move and the bows start shooting. "

On cue, the girls aim their arrows with rusted tips at us, and I briefly wonder where my gun is. It isn't in my hand…. I twist my torso the slightest bit, and feel it in the waist band of my jeans, hidden by my shirt. Good, at least I can reach it. But two bullets won't do much good against a group of fifteen or so girls with knives and bows aimed at us.

" Teresa. " Thomas whispers, drawing her attention back to him. She glares at him but stalks closer, slowing to a stop in front of me. I won't move, seeing as she's taken sides with Group B. That nasty looking spear would be enough to kill Thomas.

" Move, Louisa. " She says, raising her weapon slightly.

" Tell me what the hell is going on. " I say, putting my hands on my hips. If I were to move one of my hands back slightly I would be able to reach the gun.

" Move. " She raises her voice slightly, but I don't budge. Teresa rears back, and knowing that I can't fight back, I tense. _This is going to hurt._

She slams the butt of the spear on my left leg, just above the prosthetic. Pain explodes, blinding and suffocating. I fall onto my right knee, gritting my teeth and fighting back a scream. My thigh is throbbing, screeching out for me to stop getting hurt, but I can't.

Breathing heavy, I stand again. My leg quivers but keeps me up, and Teresa narrows her eyes at me.

" Are you stupid? " She asks, bringing her spear back again, preparing to hit me.

" Maybe. " I reply, unflinching, " Put that spear down and call of your little posse. Then we can talk and negotiate reasonably. "

" Shut up! " She yells as she brings the blunt end of the spear down on my leg, once, twice, three times. Each time I feel like the nerves in my leg are on drugs, alight with singing pain.

" Stop that! " Minho yells, but she just brings the spear down harder the fourth time. My breathing is ragged and harsh, but I don't call out for help, or scream. I'm on the ground, my face in the dirt. I should kick out, do something to defend myself, but that would only cause Group B to fire their arrows at the Familiars, and that can't happen.

I whimper as the spear comes down a fifth time. How many times is she going to do this? How many times is she going to hurt me? I grit my teeth and try to endure, but I don't know how much longer I can last. Stubborn tears are leaking out of my closed eyes, but she still doesn't stop. I can hear her readjusting her grip, the whooshing of the wood cutting air—

" Is it really necessary to do that so many times? " A voice says, and the spear stops mere inches from my leg. I should feel elated, but my blood runs cold. " She is a cripple after all. "

I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to confirm my suspicions.

But I do it anyway.

Standing before me, arms crossed over his chest, staring down at me with pity, is someone who walked right out of my nightmares.

A blue-eyed demon.

Reed.

* * *

 **HOLY MOTHER FREAKING JESUS ON A BOAT WHAT JUST HAPPENED**

 **^ That's what you're thinking, right? ^^^**

 **Okay I have my own plot going on and it might not make sense at the moment, like how the hell Reed is alive, ( Louisa isn't as strong as she thinks she is ) But I promise it will make sense and I really hope I didn't just make the biggest mistake on this story. I know what I'm doing, but I don't want to lose readers because I brought Reed back to life, but he was never really dead soo...**

 **{ review responses }**

 **DigiArtisit ~ I've written a one-shot about page 250 with Louisa but I haven't posted it or anything. Just cried while writing it. Also A+ CLIFFHANGERS YAYYY**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ it's okay if you haven't been able to review, I know you'll get the chapter read eventually. I wanted to stick to the book and mix in elements from the movie. And then put my own twist on it. And I hope I've done a good job of that.**

 **Guest ~ I've been watching a lot of anime lately, and that's kind of known for being overdramatic with things so if she seems that way, I'm sorry. I'll try to back off the drama. Also, I haven't even thought about that tbh.**

 **Sarah ~ I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO CATCH UP YOU'RE PROBABLY SCREAMING AT ME BECAUSE OF LEWT. I READ ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS FOR FIGHTING AGAINST YOU AND THEY MADE ME SMILE THANKS SO MUCH**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **Sooooo, don't kill me. Don't riot.**

 **ALSO OMG WE ARE REACHING THE END GUYS. I've got the book open next to me and there's about 100 pages left?! How did I get this far?! I'M SCREAMING.**

 **When I finish the Death Cure fanfic I might cry. Okay anyway, back to the chapter. I added Nandini's POV to kind of show her relationship to Newt, because that plays a huge roll in the future, also kind of wanted Nandilake to be added in there. I added the memory to help with the time difference. Louisa slept for forever, then she fell into a memory. Let's just say now they have four days left to get to the place.**

 **JUST FOUR DAYS.**

 **Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you have a great day, morning, afternoon, evening, night, I'm going to go get some water and read Lady Midnight.**


	30. Chapter 30

**I GOT THIS CHAPTER OUT ON TIME FOR A CHANGE OML**

* * *

I can't move. I can't breathe. I can't think.

" Hello, Louisa. " He says, crouching down next to me, " You've been through hell. "

My mouth moves but no words come out. Every thing in me is screaming to run, run away from the deadman walking, but I can't. It's like someone has piled bricks on top of me, keeping me in place. Trapping me.

" I'm disappointed. After all this time separated, you aren't going to say hi? "

He's supposed to be dead. I killed him. He shouldn't be talking. He shouldn't be moving. I hear Teresa talking to Thomas but it's like background noise. My eyes are frozen on Reed and the smirk plastered on his face.

" Thomas. Come on. Remember, anyone tries something, the arrows fly. " Teresa says, hauling Thomas with her and keeping the spear trained on everyone else.

" We'll be taking Lo as well. " Reed adds, smiling at me.

He reaches down and grabs my arm, hauling me to my feet. I shrink away from his touch, my heart thundering painfully in my chest. The bruises he left flash through my mind, black, blue, and purple. I manage to struggle a little, but not enough.

" No way! " Minho yells, " You aren't taking either of them anywhere! "

" This isn't a game. I'm going to start counting. Every time I get to a multiple of five, one of you die. " Teresa says, authority in her tone.

I try to stand on my own but my legs are weak and my left is throbbing from how many times Teresa hit it. Without a choice, I slump against Reed, my skin crawling with repulsion. He notices my struggles and picks me up bridal style.

" One! " Teresa shouts. Thomas doesn't take any chances and walks forward, ignoring comments from Minho and the others. I can see the pain on his face, clear as day as he looks at Teresa. Teresa is betraying us, taking Thomas, and probably going to kill him.

" Fine, " He says, " Take me. "

" I only made it to one. " Teresa sounds disappointed.

" Yeah. I'm really brave that way. "

She hits him with the spear again, so hard he crumples to his knees again. He spits, causing blood to splatter on the ground.

" Bring the bag. "

I was supposed to prevent this from happening to Thomas. Now, he's on the ground, spitting up blood and having a large, frayed burlap sack pulled over his head. Reed's hands are on my back and on the back of my thighs. I wish I could scream. I wish I could thrash.

I'm petrified.

" We're taking them with us! " Teresa yells, " If anybody follows, we'll hit him again and we'll start shooting you. "

Minho takes half a step forward, his eyes on me, and an arrow hits the ground centimeters next to his foot. I think a strangled gasp makes its way out of my mouth but I'm not sure. All I can hear are my heartbeat and muffled words.

" Teresa! " Minho says, "You catch the Flare that quickly? Your mind's obviously gone already. "

Teresa slams the butt of the spear into Thomas's head. I cringe at the sound of the impact and Reed's hold tightens on me. My stomach churns.

" Anything else you wanna say? "Teresa asks. I could see the battle in Minho's eyes as they looked from me to Thomas and back to me. I want him to help me. I want him to take me away from Reed. But I don't want Thomas to get hurt. " Didn't think so. Let's go. "

Teresa turns around and two girls grab Thomas by each arm, dragging him across the dirt and rocks. Reed goes to turn around...

" No. " I say, regaining some composure and swallowing fear. " No! "

I start to struggle in Reed's grip, but it's weak. " Put me down! Don't touch me! "

He's squeezes me harder, maintaining his hold on me. An icy fear blankets over me. I scream and cry and thrash but nothing is good enough. I'm not strong enough. No food for the past couple of days has left me malnourished and weak.

" Please! Put me down! " I look up at Minho, but he can't move or he'll be shot. " Please! "

I'm crying, sobbing, my shoulders shaking. This is impossible. I killed Reed. He's supposed to be dead! He can't be touching me again, not after I snapped his neck. Is he nice? Is he mean? Did I ever forgive him?

No, I never forgave him.

" Put me down, Reed! " I nearly choke on his name.

" I can't do that. Sorry, Lo. "

No! He doesn't get to speak so casually to me! He doesn't get to touch me or hold me or carry me! He deserves to rot in hell! I thought that was what he was doing, but apparently I was wrong. How? Why? It was probably WICKED that let him live, but when I checked he didn't have a pulse. I don't think WICKED knows how to bring a person back to life, but hell, I could be wrong.

" Please, Reed. " I say as he turns and follows Teresa. I look over his shoulder at Minho with blurry vision. Newt is standing next to him, his mouth pressed into a thin line. I resist the urge to call out, to tell them to help me. Doing that would only get them killed.

So I silently let myself rest in Reed's arms, trying to empty my brain and think of a way to get Thomas and I out of this damned situation.

…..

I should have warned her.

She looked so distraught, so broken, so scared when Reed appeared out of no where. I had the urge to pummel him—still do, actually. And then her screams. Oh my God her screams. It took every ounce of restraint I had not to go and help her. I've never seen her look so small before. Louisa never really told me what happened between her and Reed, I just know that he… violated her. Something else obviously happened for her to have that intense fear in her eyes.

" Newt, what the hell did he do to her to make her so scared of him? " I ask, clenching and unclenching my fists.

" Before he… You know… He had been abusing her for weeks. Bruises where no one else could see them. Forcing her to do things, being over-possesive. " Newt's voice is shaking with anger and his jaw clenches.

We just let her get taken by him. She's back in the arms of the person who abused her.

" Wait, who was he? " Nandini asks, completely relaxed about the whole situation. I'm surprised she's still here, hanging around Newt. He hasn't exactly been the brotherly type towards her.

" Reed. " I say, the name tasting sour in my mouth.

" And… He abused Louisa? "

" Abused, raped, mentally tortured. Take your pick. " Newt says, his eyes locked onto Louisa's fading figure in the distance.

" R-raped? " Nandini stumbles over the syllable, eyes wide. " She never mentioned it, she was always.. And I suggested we let her get kidnapped and possibly… "

Nandini ran a hand through her hair as the other kid put a hand on her shoulder.

" We have to get her back. " I say, starting to pace. " We have to get both of them back. "

" We have to get to the place WICKED told us to go to. We have four days left. " Aris says, still a little shocked from seeing all of his _friends._ I narrow my eyes at him, not even bothering to hide the scowl from my face.

" Did you know anything about this? " I ask. The sun is rising and I can already feel the air heating up. Aris turns and faces me, shaking his head no.

I grind my teeth. We let this happen to her. We could have done something to help her—both of them—and we just watched. I saw the desperation in her face as she looked at me. Me! Not anyone else. And all I did was watch.

" We'll keep moving. " I say, " And we keep an eye out for them. If we cross paths… We obliterate them. "

" Or just cripple them enough to get those two shanks back. " Frypan suggests.

" Or that. " I agree. Louisa must be rubbing off on me. I've become more violent. " Let's go. "

Group B is out of sight, so we try to pace it where we trail behind them. Out of sight, but close. I'm half tempted to march right into their little group and sling Louisa over my shoulder, effectively kidnapping her back. Then we could go get the cure and then be normal teenagers.

Of course, with what we've learned throughout the trials, we will never be the same. Louisa's mental stability is probably gone, and I know mine is reaching its breaking point. Who abandons kids in the middle of the desert with no food? If this is what the rest of humanity is like, I don't know if it's worth saving.

...

I'm tied to a tree. Thomas is on the other side, watching the girls set up camp in the small, flat area. My legs are hanging over the edge of a cliff as I watch the barren landscape. The city is in the distance, and if I try hard enough, I can still hear the Cranks screaming from their perches in the towering buildings. Or maybe it's just my imagination.

My face is wet from tears and sweat. The noon sun is beating down on me, relentless and cruel. My stomach feels hollow and my body feels weak, like I could collapse at any moment. Well, I can't really collapse but I doubt I'd be able to stand.

It's a good thing I have Reed to carry me, right?

No.

 _Hell no._

I've come so close to shooting him so many times. The only thing that has prevented me from doing so is the fact that they could kill Thomas and not think twice about it. I, for one, am sick of seeing people dying ( unless it's someone who deserves to lose their life ) so I have restrained myself.

Barely.

" Louisa, " Reed says, leaning against the tree next to me. I don't look up at him. I don't want to see the blue eyes of someone who used to be my friend. Of someone who abused me. Of someone I killed. The image of his body slumped in the floor, his neck at an odd angle is pasted into my mind, something I can't forget. " You can have this granola bar. "

He goes to hand it to me but my arms are tied to the tree, so I shake my head no. I won't eat anything this bastard gives me, no matter how much I need it. I can't even grab it, so how stupid is he?

" Oh, right. My bad. " I hear him open it, the package crinkling. He holds it in front of my face and the smell of honey drifts up into my nose. My mouth waters and my stomach growls, but I clench my teeth. There's no way I'll eat it. " Open up. "

I shake my head no again but he just pokes my lips with it. See, this is his problem. He doesn't understand what the word ' no ' means.

" I'm not going to let you starve yourself. " He says, almost softly. I would talk, just to tell him to fuck off, but then he could shove the granola bar in my mouth. " Could you please let me make up for what happened? "

" What makes you think you— "

He shoves the granola bar in my mouth, silencing me. A satisfied smirk settles on his face and I wish I could slap him or kick him. Of course, I'd probably try to do it and then freeze, scared. Intimidated. Because I'm weak and can't face the person that abused me. It's annoying, but it's mainly petrifying and frightening and terrifying.

What do I do if he tries _it_ again?

I take a bite of the granola bar, my stomach winning over my stubbornness. He pulls what's left away, and I make it a point not to look at him, instead scanning for anything to keep my attention.

" I really am sorry about what I did. WICKED just— "

" Shut the hell up. " I say through a mouthful of food. I don't want to listen to him talk; he shouldn't be talking at all!

The granola sucks the little bit of moisture I had in my mouth out, leaving me with cottonmouth. It struggles to go down as I swallow, but somehow it does. My skin is crawling knowing that Reed is so close and I try to ignore it, but it doesn't work. I'm too aware of his towering presence next to me.

" Here. " He holds out water, " Drink. "

Begrudgingly, I open my mouth and let him put the bottle to my lips and pour some in. It feels heavenly against my dry tongue, but he pulls it away.

" Honestly, Louisa, I'm truly sorry. I— "

" Didnt you hear me? " My voice is shaking, quivering. I don't want to know what happened. I don't want to know if I killed an innocent person because I was manipulated by WICKED.

" WICKED gave me the memories of what happened during those two weeks. What I did… I understand why you attempted to kill me. But you have to know, I had no control over my body then. The Reed that did that—he's gone. "

" I said shut up! " I screamed the words, my mind racing. I can't—I just, I can't deal with this right now. I don't want to think about what happened, about anything.

" Loui— "

" You should be dead! " I yell, clenching my fists against the chafing ropes. " Dead! I killed you! "

My vision is blurring and I realize I'm crying again, but I can't wipe the tears away.

" WICKED slowed my pulse to where it was nearly nonexistent. " He says quietly and I notice the camp has gone quiet. " You aren't as strong as you think you are. "

 _You aren't as strong as you think you are._

I know that! I told myself I would be useful to the Familiars, that I would protect what little family I had left, that I would protect Newt, but all I've done is been a liability. They've had to go out of their way to help me because I got that damned infection. They put themselves in danger for me. I was trying got fight for them, to shoulder their worries, but the exact opposite ended up happening.

" What's up with the cuts on your forearms? And what happened to your leg? "He asks, seemingly genuine and curious, but I just shake my head. I can't talk to him so casually yet. I doubt I'll ever be able to. I mean, I tried to kill him. How can he talk to me like this? Almost nicely? Polite? If someone tried to kill me and I saw them again they wouldn't live to say a single sentence.

When did I get so brutal? Violent?

So _heartless?_

" I'm— " _sorry._ I can't get the single word out. I haven't forgiven him, but if I could take back killing him, I would. Well, he didn't die, but I thought he was dead. The guilt was like this unbearable pressure on my chest, pushing harder and harder until I thought I was going to crack.

I can feel his gaze, but I just stare out over the rolling sand dunes and at the city. I briefly wonder how far that building we were in in the very beginning is, and if anyone is there. A laughing, smiling, flour covered Newt flashes through my mind and I bite my wobbling lip. Why? _Why?_ Noah with tousled hair as he stands in the doorway of his room. Mom stitching my hand with nimble fingers. Dad, giving me his prosthetic with tearful eyes. Lee, smiling at me, putting his arm around me as we eat.

Never. Never will I see those things again.

I won't cry. I won't cry. I _won't cry._

A muffled sob escapes my throat despite my protests. I press my lips together and grind my teeth. Gone. So many things gone. There's nothing left—nothing for me to cling to.

And all I can do is cry.

Weak, useless, helpless, worthless, selfish.

" Louisa, " Thomas says, his voice wobbles, " It'll be okay. "

No it won't. He needs to stop lying—everyone needs to stop lying to me!

" We're almost to the place WICKED wants us to go. Just a little further. " He says in a soothing voice. I try to calm down, I really do. But I'm tired. Tired of trying, tired of fighting. Tired of this aching feeling that leaves me feeling hollowed out. Teresa said she was going to kill Thomas, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. This overwhelming helplessness is really starting to tick me off.

" You guys really don't want to kill me, do you? " Thomas asks. I can't tell who he is asking, but I'm just going to assume he's talking to everyone. Well, everyone except for Teresa. She went off on some kind of patrol earlier and hasn't come back yet.

" Based on what Teresa told us, we escaped our Maze three days faster than your group did. Lost fewer people and killed more Grievers to do it. I think knocking off one little insignificant teenage boy won't be too rough. " The voice sounds familiar but I shake it off, not in the mood to divulge into anymore memories at the moment. I wish I could shut my brain off. Maybe then the hot tears would stop streaming down my cheeks, and I could forget.

" Think of the guilt you'll feel. " Thomas says, pleading to her ' nice ' side if she has one. I understand what he's doing but don't try to help him. I doubt I'd be able to do much.

" We'll get over it. "

" We don't have a choice. " A different voice responds, " WICKED said that was our only task. If we don't do it, they won't let us in at the safe haven. We'll die out here in the Scorch. "

" Hey, I understand. Sacrifice me to save yourselves. Very noble. " Has Minho's sarcasm rubbed off on Thomas?

" It's not just you. We were told to take Louisa if she was still alive. " I recognize the voice, the same one as before, Sonya. The girl I was trying to get Lee to cast his affections onto. I wonder how she's doing? Well, I suppose it doesn't matter now. She's trying to kill Thomas. " I kind of doubt what we have to do thought. " She mumbles the last part but I catch it, and so does Thomas because he says:

" I think it's some test and maybe you're not really supposed to kill me. Maybe we should share what we know, figure something out. "

I let my head rest against the trunk of the tree. I will listen, but I won't interfere until something goes awry or if the situation turns dire. Thomas is a big boy. He can handle this himself.

" We better do it before Teresa gets back. " Reed says, moving away from me. I let out a breath of relief, but I know that he'll be back and talking to me again. " I'll round everyone up. "

" And untie us. " I add. I may have a long sleeve shirt on, but that doesn't mean the rope isn't binding or chafing. It's also annoying. And I'd like to wipe the tears tracks off my face. I hate having red, itchy eyes.

Reed just takes a knife out of the sheathe on his waist and cuts the rope. They fall away and I bring my arms forward, semi-happy to feel them free. My hands go to my face and I wipe at it, making them wet. My head hurts from dehydration, but Reed hands me the water bottle I drank from earlier before sauntering off to go gather the rest of the girls.

I scoot around the tree and sit next to Thomas. The cliff was starting to make me uneasy. Being around all these unknown people that want to kill your friend and possibly you made me realize that with one push, I could be gone. Dead like I was never even here. I wonder if my body would splatter on rocks, or if it would just... Rest there?

" What information do we have that they don't? " I ask Thomas, whispering and leaning close to him. My voice still wobbled, but I had stopped crying.

" You know more about WICKED than I do. And then the Mazes could have been different. " He whispers back and I nod. I do know more about WICKED than the rest of the Subjects, simply because I've got my memories back and they don't. Considering what I've remembered, having them back isn't all fun and games. It can be hell.

Reed walks back and sits next to Sonya, a little too close for my comfort. She doesn't seem to mind but the idea of any other girl getting hurt by him makes me want to hurt him the way he's hurting them. I would never actually do it, though. No one should have to go through what I did.

" That should be all of us. " He says as a few other girls sit around Thomas and me, eyes alight and bodies tensed. They want to know what we do. Badly.

I stretch my leg out, slightly rotating my torso to check if my gun is still in the waistband of my jeans. It is, and I relax a little. If things go crazy I could always just pull tout, hopefully shocking them enough for Thomas and me to get away. Never mind the fact that I only have two bullets. Sometimes, it's the mere presence of something or someone that can change the perspectives of everyone around it.

Reed props a knee up, draping an arm over it. But it's the dark skinned girl that speaks up, one that looks familiar, and not because I've simply seen her somewhere. Her mannerisms seems familiar, and that isn't something you pick up on when you just glance at someone. I feel like I know her… Like I've known her for a very long time.

" Tell us everything you know, and don't leave out a single detail. " She says, crossing her arms over her chest. When I hear the tone in her voice I nearly groan.

This is going to be like an interrogation, only twenty times worse.

* * *

 **HEY HI HELLO.**

 **I am very very excited because #1, this is the thirtieth chapter! Already? Yes already! #2, today is March 16th, which some of you might not see the importance of but... well.**

 **Last year, I posted the first chapter of Fighting Against You on March 16. It was the day I started writing everyday, which solidified my resolve to want to be come an author. So yea.. March 16 is an important day for me now. And, it's also..**

 **LOUISA'S BIRTHDAY!**

 **She's turning 17, the same age as Minho now! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SMOL CHILD.**

 **{ review response }**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ Yes. Plot twists. Gotta love them. Also, thanks! I've put a lot of effort into this fanfiction, so I'm glad it's at least decent! I know at times Louisa is a bit dramatic and the scenarios don't make sense and the reactions are off and the descriptions are weird, but that'll get better the more I write.**

 **{ end of review response }**

 **I barely got this chapter out on time. It's currently 11:00 PM, and I've spent literally all day on this chapter. But I did take a break to make apple cinnamon cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting, and they tasted amazing. I forgot to do school, but eh, I'll do it tomorrow.**

 **I'm gonna go to sleep now. I just want to let you guys know that I love you all so much and thank you for the support on my stories and for Louisa and the rest of them. I really appreciate it.**

 **Have a good day, night, evening, morning, afternoon, I'm going to sleep.**


	31. Chapter 31

**HELLO DON'T KILL ME**

* * *

" Alright, " Harriet says, raising her voice so everyone can hear her. A cluster of girls are now surrounding Thomas and I, " You talk first, then we will. "

It goes off like a bell in my head.

This… Harriet… She's the girl my brother dated. I don't remember how that ended up, but it seems to have been disastrous. The way he would look at her over his shoulder when she was at WICKED those couple weeks was so full of longing, even though he had Brenda.

She doesn't even remember him.

Thomas clears his throat. "All I know about your group is what I learned from Aris. And it seems we all went through pretty much the same thing inside the Maze. But since we escaped, lots of things have been different. And I'm not sure what you know about WICKED. "

" Not much. " Sonya cut in. I look at how close she and Reed are, and scan her posture for any tenseness, discomfort, or rigidness. But she looks completely relaxed. She _trusts_ him. Just what the hell happened while he was ' dead '? Do they know what he did?

" Well, I've learned a lot about them. And so has Louisa. " Thomas casts a glance at me, one that says I will be talking and telling my part of the story.

" Yea, we saw her at WICKED headquarters. We were surprised to see her here. "

" Surprise! " I say, throwing my hands up and putting a jubilant grin on my face, " We're all stuck in the same hellhole! "

Thomas elbows my side.

" We're all here because we're special, " He continues as if I never said anything. I feel a rock digging into my butt and shift, only succeeding in making it worse. " We're being tested in one way or another. A lot of the things they're doing doesn't make sense. They're just part of the trials—what WICKED calls the Variables. "

" And sometimes Variables happen naturally, infections and the like. Maybe you'll get saved. Maybe you'll be left to rot and die. "

Thomas glares at me again. Obviously, I'm not helping. Apathy is settling in, and I force myself to think about what might happen to Thomas if I keep doing this. About what might happen to Newt and Minho and the others.

" I don't understand all of it, not even close, but I think this whole thing about killing me is just another layer. Another lie. So… I think this is just another Variable to see what we'll all do. "

I nod. Thomas is smart. I knew he would think of something to help us.

" So you want us to risk our lives because of this brilliant deduction. " Harriet says, not looking too happy about what Thomas said.

" That's exactly what we want you to do. " I say as a slight breeze carries through the cliffside. I wish it would dry the sticky sweat on my neck, but I know that's like wishing for rain. " Killing us has no point. _None._ I know things about WICKED that you don't. I know what extent they'll take things, how their minds work. If you kill him, I won't tell you a damn thing. I'll leave you clueless and completely at the mercy of those bastards at WICKED. "

Harriet looks over at Sonya, who just shrugs.

" Isn't the whole point of this to kill our competitors' leader? Weed out the weak and leave the strong? " Harriet looks doubtful, her green eyes traveling between Thomas and me. I shake my head no, feeling glad to have gained some composure but also trying to focus on the task at hand.

" No, think about this. How are you showing any strength by killing me? We're outnumbered and you all have weapons. How does that prove who's stronger? " I look at all the girls surrounding us, weapons casually by their sides and within easy reach. I think about the gun pressing against my back and wonder who would win.

None of the girls say anything.

" Don't blindly follow someone, ' I say, scratching my head, " Be independent, make rational decisions. You've already proven your power by kidnapping us. "

Huh, kidnapping. Like we're a bunch of kids instead of a bunch of fully matured adults capable of handling the mental and physical pressures of such a test. Oh, wait. We are kids and we can't handle this very well. Or at least I can't. The things that happened in the Maze seem so much preferable to the feeling of grief that won't stop suffocating me.

" Tell us what you know. " Harriet says, " And we'll talk to Teresa about letting you live. "

" No, not until you can guarantee our lives. "

Harriet looks at all the girls, their sunburnt faces, and then back at us. " To tell you the truth, we've been thinking the same types of things. But we wanted to see what you had to say. Teresa should be back soon. We'll talk about it when she gets here. "

Harriet stood, signaling the end of the little meeting. I feel like hitting my head on a wall, or crying, or sleeping. She starts to shove their belongings into bags, and I'm reminded of the little one I had at the beginning of this whole fiasco. I wonder what happened to the thing.

Reed casts a glance in my direction but I can't be bothered to clare at him. It's too much work. I'm going to save my energy for something important like thinking about how screwed we are. I'm not about to tell anyone I think we're all probably going to die, but that doesn't mean I can't think it.

" Thomas, " I say, rising to my feet to stretch my leg. He turns his head towards me. " Let's try not to die, alright? "

…..

Sweat drips down my face and I wipe it away. _One more step, one more step, one more step._ It runs through my mind, repeating like a broken record. My legs are wobbly and tired, my breath is coming in shallow gasps.

Minho has been pushing us ever since Thomas and Louisa got taken.

Judging by the position of the sun, I'd say it's a little past noon. Probably around 2:00. We've been on a steady incline for a couple of hours. My legs burn and all I want to do is sit down and chug what little water we have left.

But the thought of Louisa stuck with Reed, _Reed,_ keeps me going. She may hate me, but I will not let her be used and hurt by him again.

God, I hope Tommy can keep her safe. If we follow Group B, they'll be hurt. It's driving me crazy not know if she's okay. She seemed extremely distraught when she saw Reed. First, a blank face, and then she was screaming and crying, and probably losing her mind. I just wanted to gab her hand and lead her away...

Her tone and face when she saw I was carrying her flashes through my mind and I cringe. She hates me. _Hates me._

I have to get over it. I have to. I wish she could just understand why I did what I did. Or, maybe even scarier, she does understand and still hates me. I had pushed her away before because she kept the fact that I had _a sister_ away from me, and now I regret doing that.

My anger wasn't unjustified, it was just childish. She was doing it because I'm not immune, and Nandini is a Crank. She was trying to save my life. As soon as she found out that we all had the Flare she told me the truth and pleaded for me not to hate her. How come, when I plead for her not to hate me, she practically tells me to fuck off?

I'm sick of thinking about this.

" Everybody take a break, " Minho says, slowing to a stop ahead of me, " We're moving again in five minutes. "

Everyone mumbles an okay and just kind of plops down on the ground. I follow suit, gladly taking the pressure off of my legs. I feel like, once we get over this mountain, it'll be a straight shot to the Safe Haven. Then we can get the cure and be safe. Didn't Janson guarantee that?

"Aris, " I say to him. He's sitting next to me, breathing heavily with sweat dripping off of his face and dirt smeared across his forehead. " What's Group B like? "

" Worried about those two? " He asks, raising an eyebrow. I nod my head as a canteen of water is passed to me. I take a sip, and then a bigger sip, and then a large gulp, relishing in the feeling of it soothing my burning throat. " Group B is… Fierce. "

" Fierce? "

" Yea. They're intense, brave, courageous, and willing to do whatever it takes to survive. " He sounds wistful and his eyes seem like they might glass over, as if he's thinking about someone from Group B. I think I remember him mentioning something about a girl named Rachel. I don't remember anything else, though. Aris spends most of his time with Thomas.

" So if they have to kill Thomas and Louisa…. " I trail off, not really wanting to say it.

" They will. " He doesn't bother to sugarcoat it or anything. I suppose we're past the point of niceties, and they're virtually useless now. They could block us from seeing what is really happening, I guess. " But, they can be swayed with moral points. If those two sticks are smart enough they could save their own lives. "

But there's still the matter of Reed. Aris told us that when he himself got there, Reed had already built a presence. I don't know how long he had been there, but it was long enough to get those girls to trust him. All this time we thought he was dead, when he was actually surrounded by girls and stuck in a maze so much like our own.

" I think, you're biggest concern, should be surviving. Not about Louisa surviving, or Thomas surviving, but yourself. " He picked at a loose strand on his pants, " I can't stand Louisa because she's so self-centered. She causes so many people to worry about her, and then she goes and hurts others without even thinking twice about it. "

Well… True enough.

" Despite that, she's been through hell and somehow managed to survive, just like the rest of us have. All of us have developed the ability to survive even when things get rough. But you can't do that if you're distracted. So focus on the task at hand. Not them. "

I've never heard Aris talk so much.

I just stare down at my feet, comprehending his words. I want to worry about Louisa and Thomas. Isn't that natural? To worry about the people you love? I just, I don't know what either of their mental conditions are. Tommy really liked Teresa. _Really_ liked her. A betrayal had to have been mind boggling. And then Louisa… Seeing someone you thought was dead standing in front of you… I'd go out of my mind.

But Aris is right. I know Louisa can take care of herself. I know Thomas can take care of himself. I just have to make sure I make it to the Safe Haven alive so I can see them again.

I just wish I could tell Minho to calm down. Right now he's pacing, a hand shoved into his hair. He's worried about her more than I am, and that scares me. I don't know what happened between those two, but it's none of my business.

" Minho, just calm down. " Frypan says, " You're making me dizzy with all of your pacing. "

" No, I can't calm down. I'm about ten seconds away from sprinting to the Safe Haven. It's just—they're with _him. "_

" He's not that bad, honestly guys. " Aris says, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. It just smears the dirt there more.

" Not that bad? _Not that bad?_ " I see a tick in Minho's jaw as flames dance in his eyes, " He raped and abused Louisa. Who knows? Maybe he's doing it to all of Group B. Maybe he swings both ways and Thomas'll get hurt too. I don't know. All I know is that they aren't safe with him around. "

" What good are you to them if you're dead? " I say, pulling one of my knees up so I can put my arm on it, " I know for a fact Louisa will kill you if you die. "

He laughs, but there isn't any humor in it. He's gone full on crazy. Maybe the Flare has already gotten to him.

" You don't have any room to talk Mr. ' let's cut her leg off to save her and then I'll mope around because she won't talk to me. '. Don't be a stupid shuck face. You don't even seem to be worried about them! "

I clench my jaw. " Bloody hell, Minho! My best friend and the girl I love are in danger. Of course I'm worried about them. But I'm also worried about getting through the day so could you please sit the hell down and shut your damn mouth! "

He grits his teeth and then crouches down, shoving his hands into his hair. I understand how he feels, because it's exactly how I feel.

I open my mouth to speak but Frypan beats me to it. " We're all worried about them. Every single one of us. But you don't see us panicking, now do you? "

He squeezes his eyes shut.

" Basically, " Nandini says, from her spot leaning against a dead tree, " He's saying get your shit together. "

He abruptly stands, taking me by surprise. His eyes open and his hands leave his hair and go to his sides.

" I'm going to scout ahead. " He says as he turns and walks away, being mindful of the rocks and crevices in the ground. I go back to looking at my feet, a single, solitary thought running through my head.

If WICKED lets us survive, I'll slaughter them for what they've done to us.

….

I tried being calm in front of them. I honestly tried. But Louisa's face from back in the Maze when she was showing us those bruises, from when she told us what happened, keeps flashing in my mind. I'm practically shaking because of it.

I'm scared for her. I'm worried about her.

If I get to the Safe Haven faster, maybe I'll see her there, unharmed. And Thomas, oh for heavens sake that stupid shank. We knew he was supposed to be killed by Group B, but we didn't do enough to prevent it. We walked right into their trap. I'm the leader. I was supposed to help these stupid shuck faces and keep them from getting hurt!

But Louisa got her leg chopped off, and Thomas has been kidnapped by the very people that are supposed to kill him.

It's all my fault. If only I had done something!

I huff as I kick a rock, biting back a frustrated yell. Louisa trusted me to protect her. They _all_ trusted me to protect them. I failed. I've failed. What Louisa said after she got her leg amputated rings through my mind, causing my stomach to flip.

 _Don't betray me like Newt did. Don't hurt me._

Is this the same thing?

No, no. Now I'm just being irrational.

I take a deep breath and actually start to do what I said I would. I look around at the sparse, dead trees, some small bushes, rocks, and red dirt. There's nothing. No Cranks, no trace of-

Footprints.

There's a large cluster of them heading up to a cliff that's on my left, about a hundred or so yards away. I can just barely make out the heads of Group B standing there. My heart does a flip as familiar sandy blonde hair becomes visible, and the head bobs up and down like the person is limping. She's alive. She's alive. She's _alive._

I release a shuddering breath. It doesn't do much to put me at ease, but, Louisa is alive, and she's able to stand. That's enough for now. It'll have to be.

I turn and start to walk back to the group. As much as I want to stay here and watch over Louisa, I can't. We have to start moving towards the Safe Haven again. There's only a couple of days left. If we don't make it in time, we don't get the cure, and we'll be left out here to rot and die just like every other Crank.

And that is one thing I definitely do not want to happen.

….

" What is it you wanted to tell me? " Teresa asks, putting her hands on her hips. With the setting sun behind her she looks menacing, and I have to squint at her. Why couldn't she have stood on the other side? The sun is making my eyes hurt.

" Well… " Thomas trails off, looking over at me for support.

" We wanted to tell you… " I say, scratching the back of my neck, " That you shouldn't be such a bitch. "

Thomas elbows me in the side again.

Oops.

" Was that it? " She asks, picking at one of her fingernails idly. I can't believe the person who used to be my best friend was reduced to such a state. I mean seriously! Can't she go against WICKED a little? Why follow their every rule and bide their every wish? She could at least spare us.

" No. " Thomas glares at me, " We wanted to say— "

" Quite frankly, I don't care. " Teresa says before turning away to address her group. I gape at her, disbelieving. She could at least give us five minutes of her time to hear us out. " All of you, get your stuff together. We're leaving. Group A is getting too close and we need to get to the Safe Haven. "

I cast a glance at Thomas. When are they going to kill us?

I stand and brush the dirt off of the back of my pants. My hand brushes the handle of the gun and I pull my shirt down, hoping no one notice. I also hope no one notices the gun shaped bulge against my back. As long as no one touches me I should be fine.

I turn and look over the cliff one last time, at the view that I've been staring at for the past couple of hours as they rested. I can see the Familiars trudging through the dirt and dead trees, their heads held high. It's nice to know that they didn't panic, and that no on eliot their mind. I'm half-tempted to yell out at them to move their asses a little faster, but I couldn't be bothered to spare the energy.

" Alright, " Reed grabs my arm and pulls me away from the cliff, " Let's go. "

As usual, I tense up. My mind is just screaming that this is wrong, that he shouldn't be here. Nothing can change the fact that I thought he was dead. My skin is crawling where his sweaty hand is touching me, well, my sleeve. But still. I don't want him near me.

" Why do I have to walk with you? " My voice shakes.

" Because I was the one that wanted you to come along. " He says as I limp beside him, past a girl stomping out a fire, and with the rest of the group that are descending down a hill. Thomas has two girls carrying machetes on either side of him, and I feel the tiniest sliver of pity for him. At least I don't have to worry about Reed chopping my head off.

Or at least I don't think I do.

" Why did you want me to come along? Is this a Variable? Are you a Variable? Is this all to illicit a reaction from me? " I ask all the questions in one breath, my mind racing. Yes, yes. That is probably what happened. WICKED sent him here to get more brain waves out of me, to-

" No… " Reed looks at me, confused, " I just wanted to apologize. "

" So you kidnapped me? "

" Hmm… Possibly. "

My leg starts to quiver, the one that has the prosthetic attached to it. It's aching from where Teresa hit it so many times, but I will not let Reed carry me again.

" I'm sorry for what happened in the Maze, and I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I remember the bruises, I remember _everything._ " He says, looking down at the ground instead of at me. He actually sounds sincere, and that scares the everliving hell out of me. " When WICKED let me remember those two weeks, I was disgusted with myself. No one deserves to be treated like that. I'm just glad to see you didn't let it affect you much. "

 _Didn't affect me much?_

That time, with Lee, when I froze, scared out of my mind. The times I've doubted myself and the people around me. It affected me a lot more than I would care to admit.

" Yea, " I say, " Good thing it didn't affect me much. "

The words have to claw their way out of my throat. I feel like I might puke. This could be a trick, and Reed was never controlled by WICKED. Maybe he wants to do what he did again! I won't let that happen. Not for a second time. I won't get scared if he tries anything. I won't. _I won't._

I see Harriet slow her pace to walk beside Thomas. She leans close and whispers to him, and they carry on a conversation like that. I briefly wonder if I've left anyone like Noah. If, like Harriet, I was close to someone and just can't remember it. I know for a fact I don't have all of my memories back; what if there's someone lost in those memories that haven't returned?

Ugh, it's giving me a headache just thinking about it.

" How is everyone? " Reed asks, his voice coated with hope. I don't look at him as I answer, instead electing to stare at the ground underneath my feet.

" Only Newt, Minho, Thomas, Frypan, and Clint are still alive. The rest died. " I try not to sound to apathetic. It's very sad that all of those people died, but I didn't know them personally. The best I can do is not mourn for them but instead get revenge in their place. WICKED killed them, so I'll kill WICKED. It's as simple as that.

His shoulders sag, " Oh. "

" My condolences. " I mumble. I don't really mean it. It's hard to be sincere when you could lose your life at any given moment.

Rocks crunch under my feet and branches scratch at my face. The sound of footsteps and hushed conversations fill the air. We're so close to the Safe Haven, the last heat of the day almost turns bearable. We're so close to finally surviving, to getting to live.

I'm so close to being able to avenge the deaths of my family.

* * *

 **HEY I'M NOT DEAD**

 **So so so so sos so so sorry for not updating for nearly a month. I realized that there's like six chapters left in the story and my mind just stopped producing words and I got stuck in a rutt for forever. Every time I tried to write, my mind would be like " ... no " Once I finish Fighting For You I have to write the third and after the third story, that's it! I won't be able to write in Louisa's POV Anymore and her adventures and basically I had a crisis.**

 **DON'T WORRY THO. I THINK I'VE FIXED IT**

 **{ review responses }**

 **mazerunner26 ~ thank you**

 **chipmunk1123 ~ Reed is unpredictable and he scares me tbh.**

 **Martine9295 ~ Happy coincidences? I really hope I get Louisa's and everyone's emotions sorted out and soon. If I don't, the third story won't have a strong start.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **Once again, I am so so sorry. I felt so guilty about not updating but every time I tried to write it felt like someone had a put a wall in my mind and every word in the english language just flew out of my mind. It was so frustrating!**

 **And I'm also kind of scared to write the last story. Does that make sense? Probably not.**

 **Anyway, I'm super hungry because I kind of skipped breakfast to finish this so I'm going to go eat.**

 **Have a nice day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!**


	32. Chapter 32

**I'm back with a kind of short chapter. It's about 300 words shorter than what I normally write** **but oh well.**

* * *

Thomas is gone.

" Where the hell is that stupid shank? " I ask, a slight growl in my voice as I scan Group B. I find that Teresa is missing too—the one that has been so cold to him. And if they say that he got lost, I _will_ pull my gun out. It's not easy to get lost when you're in a group of ten or more people.

They all shrug. Like it's not even a big deal that two people are missing.

" Where are they? " I ask again, my hand reaching around to the back of my shirt. I casually rest my hand on my hip, mere inches from the gun. It's dark, so if I shoot it will be hard, but the moon is bright and provides plenty of light. " Answer me! "

They stop walking, finally.

" If we get to that Safe Haven and Thomas isn't there, all of you are going to regret being born. "

Harriet steps forward, green eyes alight with dazzling flames. " You don't threaten us, cripple. All Teresa said was to keep moving if she suddenly disappeared, so that's what we're going to do. "

She turns back around and keeps walking, everyone else following her example. I grind my teeth together as Reed grabs my arm and hauls me along. This is bullshit! They should know where Teresa is! I'm half-tempted to just walk away and look for Thomas myself. For all that Group B claims to be, nice doesn't appear to be on the list. If they were, they would be searching for Teresa and Thomas.

I don't even want to know what happened to Teresa. She's gone crazy. I bet the Flare has already eaten her mind and all of her brain cells are gone. That has to be it. Because the Teresa I knew would never do this to her friend. And, as far as I'm concerned, she really, _really,_ liked Thomas.

" I'm sure they'll be fine. " Reed says, and I get the urge to punch him. Thomas has a tattoo on his back that says he's supposed to be killed by Group B, and Reed has the nerve to say he'll be _fine?_

" Yea, sure. Of course they will. And unicorns will swoop in from the sky and save us all and cure the Flare. " I glare at him and he looks down at the ground. Thomas is gone and the only thing I can do is make it to the Safe Haven and hope he's there. I feel like sitting down and waiting for him right on this cliffside, but I know how stupid that is so I let Reed drag me across the Scorch with him.

…..

It's been two days.

Thomas is still missing.

It's so frustrating not knowing if he's okay. And the fact that we've can see across the vast expansion of the Scorch and there's no building is really ticking me off. If WICKED lied to us and just ditched us here, I'm pretty sure I'll scream.

I can see Minho and the others at the base of that other mountain to my right. I can't really tell what they look like, but it appears as though they've still got the same number of members. I let out a breath of relief. At least I know they're okay. Or, well, as okay as anyone can be in this damned place.

" Looks like they're fine. " Reed says, nodding towards them. I nod my head yea, not really wanting to talk. I've had enough of Reed to last me for the rest of eternity and more. He keeps trying to be nice, like he can make up for what he did. I know it wasn't his fault, or at least, that's what he's telling me and what I'm choosing to believe, but I'll never be able to look at him the same way. He may have been controlled by WICKED at the time, but I'll never forget the feeling of helplessness and the earth-shattering fear that had gripped me.

" Can I go meet them? " I ask, taking half a step in their direction. I want to walk with Minho, Brenda, Frypan, Nandini and the rest of them. The only downside is I would have to face Newt, and that was something I don't really want to do. It still hurts. Each painful step reminds me of what he did.

Reed grabs my arm and pulls me back to him, " No. "

" You said you only wanted me here so you could apologize, and you did that. Let me go back to my friends. "

 _Friends._ What a peculiar word to describe them with.

" It would be a waste of time for you to go meet them. We only have a few hours left to get the safe haven. No time for detours. " He shakes his head at me and clench my fists to prevent from slapping him. He's right—there's no time for detours. But I want to get away from him. He could at least let go of me.

" Louisa! " Harriet calls me forward from her spot at the front. I look at Reed and then pointedly down at his hand on my arm. He releases it with a sheepish smile and I limp forward, away from him. With each shaky step, I feel a bit of the tension in my shoulders release.

My foot catches on a rock and I stumble then brace myself to fall, but one of the girls I was walking past reaches out and wraps their arm around my back, steadying me. I look over with a grateful smile at her, and catch movement out of the corner of my eye. My smile fades as I turn to look at the cliffside we just left earlier this morning, scanning it for any signs of life. Are Cranks following us? Are we in danger?

I just barely catch the dark hair of Teresa, and turn back towards Harriet.

" Teresa is on the mountainside. " I say, my mind racing with all of the possibilities. Thomas could be with her, still alive because she realized what she was doing was stupid. Thomas could be dead, and she's walking away from his dead body. She could have injured him and left him in the mountains to get eaten by Cranks.

If she left him for dead, she's not going to make it to the Safe Haven.

If his blood is on her hands, she's not going to make it to the Safe Haven.

I don't care if she used to be my best friend, she betrayed us. If she's stupid enough to try and kill Thomas, someone she was really close to, then there's a chance she'll be stupid enough to try and kill someone else.

" We'll keep moving, " Harriet says, just barely glancing over her shoulder, " Teresa can catch up. "

Her voice was quiet, like she knows what I suspect is true. I grind my teeth as my throat tightens. _He might not be dead, he might not be dead,_ I tell myself over and over, trying to drill it into my mind and force myself to believe it. But it's not working— _it's not working!_

I take a deep breath.

Survive now, mourn later.

" What is it you needed me for? " I ask, my voice steady despite the fact that my heart is thudding in my chest. I narrowly avoid rolling my ankle on a rock as my legs start to feel heavy. There's an ache in my left leg, and I want nothing more than to sit down, curl into a ball, and sleep.

" Run ahead of us. Scout the area and see if you see anything. I expect you to come back. " She barely even glances at me over her shoulder as she emphasizes the last sentence.

" And if I don't? " I question, crossing my arms over my chest. I can barely walk, much less run. And besides, Group A would see a limping figure running, know it was me, and assume I was trying escape.

" We'll shoot you down. " She looks at the girl carrying a bow and then back at me. I glare at her and keep my walk steady, showing no signs of speeding up. I would probably trip and fall if I tried to run. Not only that, but the idea of getting that cramp in my ribs, the burning in my thighs and calfs, sounds dreadful.

" What are you waiting for? " Harriet asks, " _Go._ "

Geez. And I thought girls were supposed to be nice.

I almost laugh at my own stupidity. Of course girls wouldn't be nice. The few I've met have threatened me with knives, pointy sticks, and bows. And there's me, who's killed a dozen people and threatens everyone I meet. Perhaps there isn't a nice soul in the universe, not anymore. The Flare has probably killed them all.

" _Go,_ Louisa. " Harriet says again, slowing down so she can push me forward. I stumble and turn and glare at her again, then stare at the vast expanse of desert in front of me. The skies seem cloudy and I can't see much incandescence coming off of the sand.

I release a shuddering breath as I start off at a jog, then gradually speed it up as fast as I can. My stride is short and choppy, and my limp slows me down drastically. I don't know what she was thinking sending me to do this; I'm probably the slowest person in the group. It would've been more efficient to send Reed, or Sonya.

But, no. I'm the expendable one. To them, I'm nothing more than a thing they can use.

I grit my teeth and run faster, towards the direction the Safe Haven is supposed to be in. I can see the Familiars out of the corner of my eye, just kind of walking along. I wish I could turn and go to them, towards the people I care about more than anything, but I can't. Despite how much I feel like dying, I—

No, no, _no._

A headache blossoms, worse than the one before. My head pounds as my stomach flips and dread fills me. Did Group B say anything about what would happen if I stopped running? Am I going to end up with an arrow in my back?

I can't go into another memory, not now. I fight against it, against the images that are trying to fill my brain. My limbs feel heavy, and my feet drag against the ground. When did I stop running?

My legs give out, and I fall face first into the warm sand.

….

" Wasn't that Louisa? " I hear Nandini ask Newt behind me and my eyes snap open. I haven't slept in a while on account of stress and worry because of those two shanks, but now I feel wide awake.

" Where? " I ask, my eyes scanning the vast area of desert until they fall upon a figure laying in the sand. I can barely see it, but there's long, dark, blonde hair surrounding it, and I can see light gleaming off of metal as the sun peaks through the clouds.

I take half a step in her direction, not even questioning why she's out there away from Group B, just wanting to get to her, when Jorge puts a hand on my arm. I shrug it off, glaring at him over my shoulder.

" You'll get shot if you go towards her. " Jorge says, nodding towards Group B who casually have their bows at their sides, nonchalantly walking, completely unconcerned with Louisa. I look back at her still form, fighting back panic. If I can't go to her, what can I do to help her?

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see Newt sprinting towards her as fast as his limp allows him to go. Nandini yells his name but all I hear is the blood pounding through my veins. He's running to her, so why can't I?

My feet take one step, and then another, but I'm tackled from behind by Frypan.

" You can't. " He says as my face hits the sand. I groan through gritted teeth as the beginnings of a headache start in my forehead and spreads back. " We aren't going to risk anymore lives. "

" But Lo— "

" It doesn't matter who is laying in the sand over there. You are _not_ going to her. I care about Louisa as much as the next guy—she's like a sister to me—but there's no way in hell I'm letting you risk your life for her again. " His knee is planted firmly on my back, his hands pinning my arms down to my sides. " If I let you go, are you going to run? "

Am I? I want to go to her, but the Gladers need me here to lead them. I have to keep an eye on Brenda, Jorge, Nandini, and Blake. I have to lead them to the Safe Haven safely. My eyes travel back towards Louisa, and Newt's figure approaching her. He's about halfway there now, and shows no sign of slowing down.

But, can I trust Newt? Last time I did, Louisa lost her leg. He claims he still cares about her, and the fact that he's running out there, risking his life, confirms it. Yet, he had me so convinced he cared about her before. Will he protect her from Group B? Or will he be shot down?

I don't want to lose my best friend.

" I won't run. " I mumble into the ground. Frypan's knee hesitantly leaves my back, and his hands leave my arms. I push myself to my feet, brushing what sand I can off of my knees and chest. The people behind me seem wary of me taking off towards Louisa and Newt, so I turn to confront them.

" I said I wouldn't run. " I look at their ragged faces, each one set grimly. Yet, in their eyes, I can see the littlest bits of hope leaking through. Hope that soon this will all be over. " So let's get our asses to the Safe Haven and confront the bastards that put us through this. "

They nod in agreement and I turn back to the direction we were going while glancing up at the sky and hoping it won't storm.

….

 _I'm smiling._

 _It's a movement that's natural, yet foreign to me. Where was I yesterday? Where will I be tomorrow?_

 _Why is this lady staring down at me with a ruby red-lipped smile?_

" _You are the perfect addition to the Trials. " She pushes a strand of blonde hair out of my face, resting her hand on my cheek. " The perfect, little, flame. "_

 _I am about to ask who she was, and what she meant, when someone else burst into the dark room. The fury on the lady's face is unmistakeable, and definitely directed at the lady leaning over me. I ignore the way my heart rattles in my ribcage, and force the smile away._

 _What was I even smiling about?_

" _You… Ava. " The blue-eyed lady points an accusing finger at the lady, Ava, in front of me. " How dare you push her onto me? How_ dare you? _" She hisses the words and looks at me like I'm poison. " This filthy little rat is worth nothing more than the gum on the bottom of my shoe. "_

 _Ava leans away from me, deciding to address the new intruder. Her face seemed calm but her posture was tense. " Mrs. Kittredge— "_

" _Do not call me that. "_

" _I'm sure you are aware what value she has to the Trials. She was given to us, and I plan on using her as much as possible. You being her mother is a part of that. "_

 _My mom…? Is this person my mom? I didn't think my mom had such sharp features on her face, or could scowl like that. A brief image of a crying woman flashes in my mind, but disappears soon after._

" _Look at her! " Mrs Kittredge nearly screeches, " She's hideous! She'll be a disgrace to my family! "_

 _Hideous? What did I even look like? Why are they talking about me like this?_

 _Who am I?_

" _Surely Noah would like to have a sister. " Ava counters calmly as the light above me flickers._

" _My son is perfectly happy as an only child. " Mrs. Kittredge crosses her arms over her chest, her face flushing red from anger. Is it my fault? Did I cause this?_

" _I'm sorry, dearest sister, " Ava spits the words, some of the frustration she's feeling being let out, " You will take this child as your daughter or you will not be a member of WICKED any longer. "_

 _Mrs. Kittredge's face pales. " You wouldn't. "_

" _Oh, I would. Do not anger me. "_

 _Mrs. Kittredge suddenly strides forward and grabs my arm, squeezing it so hard it hurts. " You, " She says, glaring at me so much I felt like it might kill me, " You are going to behave yourself or God help you, because you are going to wish you were dead. "_

" _I'll behave. " I say, but it comes out a squeak. She shakes her head and mumbles, " Pathetic. " As she drags me out, Ava smiling at us the entire time from behind. I glance at her over my shoulder, frowning. She just waves at me as I'm dragged into the bright hallway._

" _It'll take another day for the Swipe to set it correctly. " Mrs. Kittredge says, coming to a stop in front of a small door. " You will say in here until it has and sit quietly. Do you understand? "_

 _I think her fingernails break the skin on my arm, because I feel warm blood leak down my tricep. I wince at the sting, but she just squeezes harder._

" _Understand? " She questions again._

" _Yes, Ma'am. " I say as she opens the door and slings me inside. I land on my butt, hard._

" _Good. " She slams the door shut and I release a shaky breath. The room is small, no larger than a closet. I just decide to sit in the floor and hug my knees to my chest, trying to calm down and stop the questions from racing through my head._

 _What is the Swipe? Why did Ava call me the ' perfect little flame' ? Who are this people?_

 _Who am I?_

 _I get my answer the next morning as my door is pulled open. A brown-haired teen walks in, his glasses sliding down his face. I sit up, staring at him with a blank expression on my face. Nothing is in my head but a short melody that won't stop repeating itself._

 _He holds a hand towards me._

" _My name is Noah, and you're my sister. " He says as I grab his hand._

" _Where are we? " I ask, wondering how I got here and why this teenager was calling me his sister. I hear him mumble something about data not being fully uploaded. Then he just smiles at me, and for some reason, I feel assured._

" _Welcome to WICKED, Louisa Kittredge. "_

… _.._

What was that?

What the hell was that?

That definitely had the feel of a memory, but it seemed more like a dream. I want it to be a dream, because it didn't make sense. Not at all.

Wait, why is someone shaking my shoulders?

What happened before I passed out goes through my head, and I sit up so fast my head starts to spin. My eyes open and land on Newt's brown ones, before focusing on something in the distance. The two groups were starting to merge together at one spot, and my heart skips a beat. Are they going to be at the Safe Haven? Are we almost safe?

" How much time is left? " I ask, choking the word out and fighting past the pain I feel at seeing his worried, chocolate brown eyes. I want to dive into his arms because it's someone familiar—someone that hasn't molested me before, someone that I love. But a sudden ache in my leg reminds me of what he did, and the feelings fade.

" A couple hours. " He says, his voice strained as well. I realize his hands are still on my shoulders. He seems to notice too, because they leave and drop down by his sides. " We should go. "

I nod my head, pushing the latest memory far out of mind. I'll think about that later, when I have time.

Newt stands and offers his hand down to me, and I take it after hesitating for a second.

" We've fallen behind, " I say as he pulls me up. " We'll have to run. "

I don't think about the fact that the reason he's behind is because I collapsed. I don't think about the fact that Group B walked right past me, yet left me on the ground to fend for myself. I only think about getting to that Safe Haven, so I can figure out what the hell I have to do next.

" Are you sure you can run? " He asks, still holding my hand even though I've stood up.

" I don't have a choice, Newt. " I say, pulling my hand out of his.

" Are you okay? " He asks and I look pointedly at the dried blood on his shirt and his ruffled hair. He glances down then back at me, " I'm okay, Louisa. I'm asking if you are, after seeing Reed. "

" Oh, that ass? " I ask, even though I fully knew what he meant, " He's nothing. "

Newt doesn't believe me, that much I can tell. But, thankfully, he drops the subject. I don't want to think about Reed and why he's still alive and the fact that I tried to kill him. I don't want to think about what I just remembered. I don't want to think about anything.

" Let's go. We're getting even further behind. " I say as I take off at a sprint and Newt soon follows. I hear his harsh breathing behind me after a while, along with my own. My eyes stay glued on the horizon, on the groups that have stopped walking and are now seemingly conversing with each other. Soon, I lose myself in thinking about the next step, and about the people and things I'm running towards.

The Familiars.

WICKED.

Revenge.

A slow smiles spreads across my face.

* * *

 **Revenge is kind of the only thing keeping Louisa sane right now if you ask me. But I'm trying to sort her emotions out and also plan for something else in the next story.**

 **Oh, you're probably wondering why it's been three weeks since I updated. Well, let me just say, injuries are hell. I swear to God I was going to scream. I nearly re-injured it at a practice, so I've had to back off the typing. So I wrote fifty words at a time until I got this so I'm sorry if it seems choppy or anything.**

 **and omG GUYS I THINK THERE'S ONLY GOING TO BE LIKE TWO MORE CHAPTERS. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT.**

 **{ Review Responses }**

 **mazerunner26 ~ thank you. I'm sorry about the late update.**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ I think I may have taken too much time writing. oops. Anyhow, I feeeeeel. I've been writing about Louisa for over a year now, and thinking about wrapping that all up makes me wanna curl into a ball and cry. Yet, I'm excited at the same time to actually finish something I started for a change. I also reread the book and I now know how I'm going to finish this.**

 **{ End of Review Responses }**

 **When I finish this story, I think I'm going to take a little break. Possibly. And work on my other fanfiction. Only for a couple of weeks though. Not like half a year or anything like that. I just need to get ahead on the other fanfiction so I can put all of my time and effort into the final maze runner one.**

 **Gosh, even saying that makes me nervous.**

 **of course, I will be going back and revising all three stories when I finish them. Making them better. I'll post an extra author's note on those when I finish revising so you can go back and read a decent story that's put together well.**

 **Anyway, my wrist is starting to ache again, so I'm going to go ice it.**

 **Have a good day, night, evening, morning, afternoon!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Please pardon any grammar mistakes, like, switching between tenses on accident. My other fanfiction is written in past tense. I've read over this five times, but I probably still missed a lot of it.**

 **I'm sorry.**

* * *

It's a stick. The Safe Haven is a stick.

I'm going to scream.

" Maybe WICKED will come and pick us up. " Some girl—Isylia, I think—suggests. Some people nod in agreement, but I just shake my head. WICKED won't make it that easy. There's over an hour left and all we have is a stick with an orange ribbon tied around it. I know I just got here, but there has to be a catch.

" What's going on? " I hear a familiar voice ask from behind me. I turn around, slowly, just in case I was hearing things. Last time I saw him he had shadows under his eyes, and seemed to be sagging with the weight of his own life. Then he disappeared with Teresa, and I assumed he was dead.

I was wrong.

Thomas is standing there, looking around at everyone. Teresa and Aris are standing behind him and off to the side, conversing with each other. I would glare at them, but right now, Thomas is here, and alive. He looks like hell, but he's breathing. That's a good thing. Looks like Teresa is going to survive for another day.

I nearly sprint the ten feet towards him and put my hands on his shoulders. I examine his face, the empty look in his eyes that I know so well, and the few scratches his has on his arms.

" Thomas, " I breathe out as I see that physically, he's fine. " You had me so worried. "

" I said it would be okay, didn't I? " He manages a small smile, but I can tell he doesn't really feel that way. What happened in those mountains? Was it Teresa? Did she do something to him?

" What the hell happened to you? "

He shakes his head and glances at Brenda. Brenda looks wide-eyed and shocked as well, but her face quickly morphs into a glare as she looks at Teresa.

" Brenda. " Thomas says, something resembling a grimace appearing on his face.

" Hey there," She replies, walking right past me and practically pushing me away. I glare at her as I stumble back, bracing myself to fall, but Minho's hands on my arms stabilizes me. I ignore the way my stomach fills with butterflies and send him a grateful smile over my shoulder as Brenda continues talking. " This is the girl you were telling me about? When you and I were snuggling in that truck? "

My eyebrows shoot up into my hairline and a small laugh escapes my chapped lips. Her? Thomas? _Snuggling?_ Looks like Noah didn't mean much to her.

" Yeah. "

Teresa warily holds her hand out to Brenda, her icy blue eyes distrusting. Brenda takes it with a fake smile. " Nice to meet you, " She says, " I"m a Crank. I'm slowly going crazy. I keep wanting to chew off my own fingers and randomly kill people. Thomas here promised to save me. "

I wait for the grin or laugh to show she's joking, but she doesn't do anything.

" Funny Bre— "

The sound of a Berg fills the air. Everyone looks up, hope in their eyes. I know there's still an hour left, and that they would leave us down here to suffer as long as possible, but I can't help but feel like maybe, just maybe, this is all over. Then the thing I remembered fills my mind and I wish WICKED would wait. Because going up there and having all of this be over, means facing what I saw. My own mother, calling me a filthy rat.

Minho's arms circles around my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulder. Any idea about my parents flies out of my head and the only thing filling it is the nearness of him. I let out a shaky breath, and can't help but be grateful that he drove the thoughts away without even trying.

" How are you? " Minho asks. I would have shrugged, but because his head is on my shoulder, I decide to speak.

" Fine. And you? " That's exactly what I'm supposed to say, right?

" Better now. "

Despite the darkness inside me, I manage a small smile. " That's good. Maybe we'll both live and be normal. "

" I think we're already normal. " He says with an indignant huff.

" I don't know what your definition of normal is, but we are definitely not normal. " I say with a soft laugh, leaning into Minho. But, I catch Newt looking at us, his face contorted into an emotion I can't identify, and something just _hurts._ I pull away from Minho and stand in front of him, my hands on my hips, a smile on my face to hide the pain. I swear hurt flashes through his eyes, but it disappears so quickly I question whether or not I saw it in the first place.

" Did Reed hurt you? " Minho's face turns serious, and my smile falters. Reed. The person who was my friend; the person who violated me; the person I tried to kill. Minho seems to notice the change in my face because rage blossoms across his face, " I swear to god Louisa, if he hurt you…. Wait. Did he.. ?"

I shake my head no, " Minho, calm your tits. He apologized. "

He crosses his arms over his chest, " And did you forgive hi— "

The words freeze on his tongue. In fact, his entire face seems to be frozen: his eyebrows raised, his lips slightly parted, confusion in his eyes. He can obviously see me, but he can't move. Not a single, solitary, muscle.

" Minho? " I ask, my voice sounding so much louder and I realize that everyone else has frozen too. Some have disbelief on their faces, others have hope. But all of them share one thing in common. Their eyes are all trained up at the sky, and at the silver Berg that has just begun to descend from right above us.

What is WICKED doing? Am I supposed to protect all of these people from something? Why can I move and no one else can?

The Berg is only sixty feet above us now.

 _Are we all going to die?_

Just as I am about to start grabbing people and hauling ass, the Berg stops and white ropes come out of a hatch that opened. People begin to slide down them in hazmat suits, bearing the WICKED logo on their right breasts. I look around at all of these people, all of these Gladers, and realize that they're helpless. I'm the only thing they have.

The WICKED employees drop to the ground, puffs of dirt rising around their feet due to the impact. The don't even look at anyone else; they're eyes are glued to me.

So I do what any logical, smart, person would do.

I reach around to the waist band in my pants, and I pull out the gun.

...

I'm frozen. I can't move. And Louisa needs my help.

Just seconds ago she was smiling-actually smiling-and we laughed and joked around.

Now she has a fear struck face and her hands are trembling as she raises the gun. The people in the dark, green hazmat suits falter, but they keep walking in a uniform march. It grates against my ears and I struggle against whatever is holding me, but it's useless.

" Don't come any closer. " Her voice his strong even though her body is weak. " I _will_ shoot. "

I will her name out of my mouth, trying to force the words out, but none come. Not even a squeak. If this is WICKED, aren't they coming to save us all? She shouldn't threaten them, but she has more experience and memories with them than all of us combined. I trust her. I'll stand by her.

If only I could take that first step.

" Do not come any closer. " Louisa raises her voice, firing the gun at the closet guy. The sound rings in my ears as the bullet hits the flesh on his leg. He falls with a muted scream, his hands locked around his thigh.

The rest of them don't even flinch.

" You will not hurt them. " Her voice cracks on the word hurt, and I just want to help her. One step, one word, one sound. That's all I need to do. She needs to know I'm here, and that I will not hesitate to help her.

She fires the gun again, catching someone else in the chest. He falls, lifeless, the only sound he makes being the sound of his body thumping into the dirt. I know this is hurting Louisa, it has to be. She feels guilty about every life she takes, and everyone she couldn't spare.

I want her to _stop._

She goes to pull the trigger again, but nothing happens except a quiet _click._ She stares at the gun in frustration and shock, then throws it at the nearest person. He catches it in one gloved hand and throws it away, past all of the Gladers and Group B, out of my sight.

Ten feet.

That's all that's separating Louisa and the entourage of 10-now 8-guards that have come for her. She seems to notice too, because she takes a step back. I don't know why, but I want her to run, and leave us all behind. I want her to save herself.

Her eyes scan the crowd of people around her, and finally come to rest on me.

 _No._

" Save them. " Louisa says, gesturing to us. " Give them the cure. " Her eyes dart to Newt, " Save them! " She shouts it now, her eyes clouded. " Don't just stand there! "

One of them steps forward. " We were only told to retrieve you. Ava has other... Plans for them. "

Lightning strikes overhead and the ground starts to move beneath us. The guy who spoke curses and sprints forward, seizing Louisa by the arm and dragging her to the ropes. She kicks and struggles the entire way, until I can't see her anymore. All I can hear are her screams.

" Climb the rope! " He yells.

" No. " The words seem to have to claw their way out of her throat. " Get them. Take them with us. Don't leave them out here! "

I hear shuffling footsteps and a grunt. The man mumbles something I can't hear, and Louisa falls silent. All I hear is footsteps, and then nothing. _Nothing._

 _Louisa!_ I want to scream the word. I have to know if she's okay. I have to know why they're only taking her and not the rest of us. But I can't move my head; I can't move my mouth. I can't do anything against whatever they have holding me.

The sound of an engine roaring fills the air, and I find I can move again. Her name leaves my lips before I can stop it, and I stumble forward. It's useless now. She's gone. The Berg is nothing but a speck in the distance. My eyes stay trained on it, watching as it navigates the storm that's approaching us. She is on there. With WICKED.

What if Janson is there?

" Minho, worry about her later. " I hear Thomas say, his voice quivering. " We have company. "

I look up and see that we're surrounded.

Not by humans. No, what we're surrounded by is far worse. Slime is dripping off of their bodies and into the sand, their faces are stuck in a snarl. They look like desert versions of a griever. Long, gleaming, metal limbs are protruding from them. They don't have stingers, but they look twice as vicious. I shudder but force myself to focus on the monsters, despite how much fear is thrumming through my veins.

" Look at the white pods behind them. " Thomas says, walking to my side but keeping his head on the creatures, " Are we supposed to get in them or…. ? "

Behind each of the things is a white pod, gleaming with a fluorescent light.

" I am not moving past those monsters. " I say even as I grab a knife from its sheath attached to my hip. I see that many people are doing the same thing, reaching for weapons and bracing themselves. I raise my voice to address the people from my group, " Everyone get in a circle! Pick one and fight it! "

They nod, grabbing the closest weapons to them. Thomas is on my left, with Teresa next to him. Newt is on my right, Frypan after that, Clint, and then Aris. Harriet is ordering Group B to do the same, and soon enough, we have a circle of people ready to defend themselves.

The creatures come closer.

Thirty feet away.

" On three, we charge. " I say, taking a deep breath after to ready myself. Full force, guns blazing. I imagine these things hurting people, the Gladers, my family, and my veins are filled with a simmering rage. No one will hurt the Gladers as long as I'm still standing.

" One! " People shift, readying themselves and getting into a sprinting stance. The monsters keep moving.

" Two! " I move my feet, bouncing on my toes with nerves. The things pause, watching us and I swear they could smirk if they have mouths.

" Three! " I charge forward with a battle cry, digging another knife out of a sheath near my chest. The creature braces itself, orange skin pulsing with an eery light. I force any fear away, thinking about how Louisa bravely faced Grievers in the Maze that week she was out there.

I have to be like her now.

I dodge the first swing of the creature's metal arms, feeling the wind from the movement brush my face. I hack away with my knives, only succeeding in leaving small cuts. The monster snarls but it sounds more like a groan. I duck, narrowly missing having my head taken off. As I duck I jab my knife at one of the protruding lumps of skin, successfully hitting it and causing sparks to rain everywhere. It pauses, and then goes back on attack mode.

Huh. So those things must be vital points.

I dodge and jab and poke and stab at the thing, feeling exhilarated each time one of the bulbs burst. Each pause gets longer and longer. It swipes for my arm, catching my hand but I keep going even as I feel blood drip down my fingertips. One last stab—

Thunder booms and lightning strikes the ground. Both me and the creature are thrown off balance. I land on the ground, a panic rising inside of me as my shoulder slams into the dirt. Lightning strikes again and the smell of burning flesh fills my nose. The image of Louisa, laying bloody on the ground with her leg chopped and a flame held to what was left passes through my mind and my muscles seize up.

 _No, No, No._

This isn't that. I have to get up. I have to fight this creature.

The thing is dead.

It was struck by lightning.

" Minho. " Newt says, limping over to me as fast as he can, " We gotta get inside the pods! "

I look at the one the monster I fought emerged from. Anywhere is better than outside in this lightning storm.

People scream as I take off towards the pod, others noticing and following suit. They head towards their own pods, and I push myself to run faster than I ever have before. I don't want to die. There are still things I want to do. Things I want to see. Family I want to know if I have.

I will not die.

I dive into the white pod and pull the top down, sheltering myself from the rain that begins to pour down. It thrums against the top and thunder is still booming through the sky, shaking the ground with its ferocity. I imagine the lighting paired with it and run a hand through my hair, breathing heavy into the darkness. I imagine the lightning striking the ground, hitting the pods and cracking them, electrocuting the people inside. My skin tingles with the memory of the white, hot, blinding pain and I squeeze my eyes shut.

It's just a storm. Just a little lightning.

So why do I feel so scared?

A strange wind starts to blow. It's not natural, because it doesn't whistle like wind when it's raging. If I weren't so petrified with the ghost of electrocution, I might open the pod and see what's going on. Yet, all I do is sit there, listening to the sound of my own breathing and trying to tune the thunder out.

All of a sudden the pod opens, and Thomas's face comes into view.

" There's a Berg! " He says and that's all I need to hear before I'm up. Is it the same one as before? Am I going to find Louisa in here? I step over and take off at a sprint, forcing my muscles to move through the storm. Each step is a step closer to my freedom, and to the girl I love. Lightning is flashing all around and those monsters are chasing us, their metal arms gleaming with fresh blood. My stomach churns and my feet nearly slip in the wet mud.

Thomas falls, unable to get traction. Teresa and I haul him up and continue running towards the open mouth of the Berg. People are standing there, long rifle-like guns in their hands as their eyes dart around. They don't make any move to save us, and why would they? This is WICKED, and they only care about themselves.

Girls from Group B are sprinting in there, nearly collapsing with relief once they get out of the rain. I push myself further, looking for Louisa. She has to be here. She has to be okay.

The Berg starts to lift off.

It's lifting slowly, but people are still trying to get on. Their legs dangle as it rises three feet off the ground. I get there and push myself up using my arms, wiggling in on my stomach. I'm breathing heavy as I pull Thomas up, and then Teresa. Only Brenda is left, hanging by her fingertips as the Berg rises higher and higher.

" Brenda! " Thomas grabs an arm and I grab the other, straining to pull her up. I feel myself start to lose traction and I slide forward a little. My heart lurches as I look at the twenty foot drop that would surely cripple me. _I'm falling; I'm falling; I'm falling._

Someone grabs my ankle and I look over my shoulder to find Jorge, holding on tight to my leg. I use this as an advantage, and Thomas and I finally get Brenda pulled up. She collapses on the floor and rolls onto her back, her chest rising and falling with rapid breaths.

" Thanks, Thomas. Minho. " She nods to the both of us and I glance out of the Berg, only seeing a few dead bodies and those _things._ A shiver of disgust rolls down my spine.

" Who are these four people? " A man asks, pointing a gun at Brenda and Jorge, Nandini and Blake. They are sitting next to each other now, their faces pale and tight with fear. " Somebody answer me! " He yells.

I let Thomas answer since he's supposed to be the _true leader._ My eyes scan the small room we're in for Louisa, for her sandy blonde hair, but I find nothing. Not a single thing.

She isn't here.

Where did she go?

" They helped us get through the city—we wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. " Thomas says. The man's head snaps towards him, rage and disbelief coloring his face.

" You…. _picked them up_ on the way? "

I don't like where this is going. " We made a deal with them. " I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

" Promised they'd get the cure too. " Thomas adds, but it doesn't help our cause any. The man just scowls.

" Doesn't matter. We didn't say you could bring citizens! " Spit flies from his mouth as he rages, but Thomas doesn't flinch. Worry causes my stomach to knot. Nandini may have left Louisa for dead, but she is Newt's sister. And Blake is her friend—someone she cared about. Brenda is close to Thomas, and Jorge is like a father figure to her. They're a package, all four of them. We can't just get rid of them.

" We did what we had to! " Thomas says, raising his voice to match the man's. He pauses, his eyes glancing between the four people.

" Fine, you can keep two of 'em. Don't choose, and they all die. "

Thomas doesn't look bothered with the declaration.

" One! "

 _Thomas, what are you going to do?_

" Two! "

He shuts his eyes and clenches his fists.

" Three! "

The man starts to move and I start to stand, ready to defend the four shanks we picked up, but Thomas's eyes open and his fists relax as he gives his answer.

" Kill the girls. "

* * *

 **What's going to happen to Nandini and Brenda? Where is Louisa?**

 **I felt like Minho would probably have a fear of thunderstorms because he got hit by lightning and it hurt like hell. Do you guys agree? Either way, it's incorporated into the story now so if you don't like it you're just going to have to deal with it.**

 **I'm sorry if Louisa didn't seem like Louisa. I've been in another character's head for the past two weeks, so I had a little trouble writing this. Anyhow, I'm probably going to go work on the last chapter. oH WAIT THE REVIEW RESPONSES**

 **{ review responses }**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ I know the flashback was confusing, but I will clarify in the next book XD And it's healing now. I've just got shin splints to go along with the tendinitis in my wrist now so yayyyyyy**

 **Hidden-Feeling ~ THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT :)**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **By the way, I feel like I should point out that chapter 34 is the last chapter. And then we're on to The Death Cure. Ohh dang I just got butterflies everyone neeDS TO CALM DOWN**

 **Haha just kidding. It's okay to have no chill. Like me. The chill has left the room and I am plotting evil things for the final book.**

 **I'm going to go write. Have a good day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!**


	34. Chapter 34

**HEY HEY HEY I'M BACK ENJOY THIS**

* * *

I watch in mute horror as the man grabs Brenda by the collar and starts to carry her to the ledge, her feet kicking the entire way. Blake moves in front of Nandini, shielding her from him, trying to protect her the best he can. I, personally, want to pummel the man from WICKED for even hurting a single person after what we've been through. He gets about halfway. Brenda's face is morphed in pain and fear, pale as she glanced over her shoulder at the open hatch of the Berg.

Thomas moves quick, slamming the man's knees causing him to fall to the floor. Brenda falls to the side, precariously close to the edge, but Teresa catches her and pulls her away from it. Thomas puts his forearm on the man's throat, reaching for the gun with his other hand. I feel like cheering him on as he jumps away and holds the pistol with both hands.

" No one else dies, " Thomas says, breathing heavily. I'm shocked that the shank actually did what he did. " If we haven't done enough to pass your stupid tests then we fail. The tests are over. "

I nod my head in agreement. I should have done something like Thomas did, but the thunder booming outside keeps me seated and safe. The man from WICKED smiles.

" My name's David, " He says as the cargo door begins closing. The squeak of its hinges grates against my ears, and I resist the urge to cover them with my hands. " You're right. It's over. You don't have to worry anymore. "

" Yeah, we've heard that before. This time we mean it. We're not going to sit back and let you treat us like rats anymore. We're done. " Thomas says as David's eyes scanned the cargo hold. I want to flip him off—that's what Louisa would have done.

" What you don't understand is that everything has gone and will continue to go as planned. But you're right, the Trials are complete. We're taking you to a place of safety-a real place of safety. No more test, no more lies, no more setups. No more pretending. " He pauses, taking a moment to let what he just said sink in. I don't believe it, not one word. " I can only promise one thing. When you hear why we've put you through this, and why it's so important that so many of you survived, you'll understand. I promise you'll understand. "

I can't help it. " That's the biggest bunch of klunk I've ever heard in my life. "

Newt, seated on the other side of the room, follows my statement with: " If you won't lie to us, then tell us where to took Louisa. Tell us why she was taken. "

David cocks his head to one side, a malicious smile on his face as he looks at Newt, and then at me. " The girl…. Louisa, she isn't who you think she is. "

I open my mouth to respond, to snap at him for telling us that we, her _friends_ don't know her, but Thomas cuts me off with a glance over his shoulder.

" And what about the cure? " Thomas says and I glance at Newt to see if he's satisfied with that response. His eyes seem unfocused, like he's staring at a spot on the metal wall, just thinking. " We were promised. For us and the four who helped us get here. How can we believe anything you tell us? "

Newt's eyes suddenly focuses, and he glares at David.

" Think what you want for now, " David says, " Things will change from here out, and you'll get the cure, just like you were told. " _Will Louisa get the cure?_ " As soon as we get back to headquarters. You can keep that gun, by the way—we'll even give you some more, if you'd like. There'll be nothing else for you to fight against, no tests or trials to ignore or refuse. Our Berg will land, you'll see that you're safe and cured, and then you can do what you want. The only thing we'll ever ask you to do again is to listen. Only to listen. I'm sure you're at least intrigued by what's behind all this? "

What could cause them to torture a bunch of kids? What could be that important? One look around at the broken and scarred faces shows me that they'll never be the same. _I'll_ never be the same. Hell, I don't even know what I was like before the Maze! Will those memories ever be recovered?

" No more games. " Thomas says. I can see the strain in his face, holding back screams. He wants to yell, just like I do.

" First sign of trouble, " I say, " We start fighting. If that means we die, then so be it. "

Newt speaks up, " What's next on the bloody agenda? "

" Just thought you might like to eat something, maybe take a shower. Sleep. It's a very long flight. " He stands and starts to walk around, " Follow me. "

I stand on weak legs, much like those around me. We all want to shower and sleep, but my first thought is, _Is Louisa getting the same treatment?_ I don't want her to be hurt anymore. I don't want to be hurt anymore. These Trials have broken us all down, and now it's time to rebuild.

If, like the man said, everything is over, then maybe I can finally start living.

But first, a shower.

….

I don't know how long I've been in here.

The last thing I remember is a man whispering threats to me, and then I was on a Berg and leaving the Scorch. I left Minho and Newt and the Familiars down there in hell.

What happened to them?

The walls are white and padded, the floor the same way. I have some sort of jacket on that prevents me from using my arms. My hair, now soft from being washed, was put into a bun and I was left to sit in the middle of the floor.

But how long have I been sitting here doing nothing?

I want to scream and cry and demand they let me out, but I know it will do nothing.

So I sit there, staring at the patterns in the wall, and counting the seconds that tick by.

….

" Nandini, " Blake whispers to me as I sit there, watching everyone sleep. I don't trust anyone here enough to let myself fall asleep, so I force myself to stay awake. " We shouldn't be in here. "

" I know. " I say. The urge to plunge one of my knives into the sleeping girl next to me comes over me like a wave, making me want to smile. Blood-nice, warm blood-spilling over my hands and staining her blonde hair as the light in her eyes goes out. _No._ I clench my fists so hard my nails break the skin. The sting sends the murderous visions away.

" Then why are we still here? " I look up at Blake, his green eyes found my brown ones. I don't think he knows I need the cure, that with each passing second the Flare is eating my mind.

" I'm going to the bathroom. " I say, standing from my seat on the long, narrow cushion that is on the left side of the Berg. He nods his head and leans it against the metal of the wall.

I make my way through the bodies of sleeping people and towards the other end of the Berg. I pass Newt and catch a small smile forming on my lips at his peaceful, sleeping face. During the day he looks so distressed, so hurt, that it makes me feel pain _for_ him. At least sleeping he can get away from that. Unless, like me, nightmares plague his dreams.

I shake my head and head down the hall. The sound of my boots on the metal sounds too loud, and I grimace at the sound. There is no way you could sneak up on someone in this place. What if I plan to do some snooping? What if I plan to figure out what they are going to do with my brother?

The answer comes to me easily.

I walk into the bathroom, and I take my boots off. Poofs of dirt come up when I take them off, and I see mounds of sand in the shoes. The sour smell hits me and my nose crinkles. The boots are actually quite a few years old, and a couple sizes too small. Because of this, my toes are bent at odd angles and ache constantly.

I set the boots next to the pearly white sink, and turn to walk away, but I catch sight of myself in the mirror. My hair is unruly and greasy; my cheeks are hollowed out; my chocolate brown eyes, so much like my brother's, are sunken in and look empty. There are faded scratches on my tan skin that I don't remember getting. I look like I'm halfway to death.

My hand reaches out to the mirror, mainly out of shock. I didn't think it was this bad. I thought I was okay, that I could last a few more weeks, but I look like I might not survive until tomorrow. There are red bands around my wrists from where they were tied together, and my forearm aches in reminiscent pain from where I injured it.

I quickly turn away from the mirror as the back of my throat starts to burn. The state of myself is unbearable. When I was little, I never imagined that this would happen. That I would get the Flare and be abandoned by my family, left to be broken and scarred.

Whatever. There's nothing I can do about it now.

I open the sliding door to the bathroom, relieved when it doesn't squeak. The hallway is bright, with white lights on the ceiling that gleam on the metal floors. My steps are quiet as I walk out, heading towards where I saw that man go earlier. He just told us to sleep well on the way there and walked away, and since I can't sleep, I plan on finding out where he went.

I can hear the subjects sleeping, snoring, in the room to my left as I walk past it. I ignore them and continue in the hall, heading towards a door I saw David walk through. It has a passcode, as I figured, on the keypad next to it. A billion different possibilities run through my mind as I look at the glowing, numbered buttons, but none of them seem to fit. If I type something in wrong once, an alarm might go off, or I'll get caught and then killed for snooping.

What a way to go.

Death for something I don't even have to do.

I'm half-tempted to turn around, and make a move to do so, but voices carry through the door. I didn't think they would, given how secretive WICKED is, but two voices, one male one female, are talking. They have to be standing right next to the door, or I wouldn't be able to hear them.

Why are they so close to the door? Are they leaving? My heart speeds up and I take half a step back, until I begin to make out what they're saying.

" ….is the strongest Candidate. He's the only one we need. " I recognize the voice as the voice of the man that made the deal with me. The one that told me to destroy Louisa and promised Newt would get the cure.

" What of the rest? " The female asks. Her voice is hard and authoritive, like a leader. I hear footsteps as they begin to walk away from the door and I release a shaky breath. But I'm able to hear one more thing.

" ...could always just kill the others. " The man says and laughter carries through the air.

My stomach knots as I turn away from the door and quietly walk back to the room, stopping in the bathroom to get my boots. The first person my eyes land on is a sleeping Blake with his head lolled forward, his breathing steady. Then my gaze scans the rest of the room—the people that WICKED will kill and just keep the one person that is the strongest Candidate.

I end up looking at my brother.

They'll kill him, too. I know it. They'll probably kill me too.

So, I have just one chance. When I get that chance, I'm getting Newt, Blake, and me out of WICKED and somewhere safe. Maybe then, Newt and I can start acting like a family.

….

My legs are numb. I've been sitting in the middle of this floor for minutes or hours or days—I don't know how long I've spent staring at the same spot in the wall. For some reason my mind feels funny and fuzzy, like everything I've ever seen has a film over it.

Minho. Newt. Frypan. Clint. Thomas. Where are they? Are they safe? Did they get out of the Scorch? I want so badly to get out of here and plead WICKED to let me see them, to see if they got the cure, but it would be pointless.

I hear the door to my room open.

My body tenses but I don't move from my spot in the middle of the floor as they approach me, instead electing to keep my eyes pinned on the white, padded wall. Their footsteps are muted on the floor, which is also padded and white, so I'm unable to tell how close they are. I just know I won't let them see me weak or suffering. Everything I've done so far has been for my family, for the Familiars. I won't let that go to waste.

Hell, if I could use my arms I would be choking the person that is approaching me for being a part of such an atrocious organization. My fingers shift inside of the sleeves, rubbing against each other. There's sweat on them, so even if I did manage to get my hands around their neck, my grip wouldn't be very strong.

I could always make a run for it. I didn't hear the door close. But they took my prosthetic away.

Legs in a white pair of slacks comes into my vision. They're wearing a pair of black dress shoes and I want to laugh. Who wears something so formal to a place like this?

" Hello, Louisa. It's been a while. "

Oh, yea. Janson does.

I don't say anything as he crouches in front of me. His face is ugly as ever and crooked, but I'm pretty sure I see a less hair on his head. Are the Trials stressing him out? If they are, maybe he should just stop them.

" How are you? I do hope you're well. "

I grit my teeth. He knows very well how I am. I'm not well. I'm missing half a leg and I feel like I could just curl into a ball and never see the light again. The only thing keeping me from doing that is my family.

" Not going to speak? " Janson says, his voice as nasally as it was a couple weeks ago when I last saw him. " What a shame. Your _mother_ might have to teach you some manners. "

He will not tempt me into talking to him like that. I will not snap and then go off on him for speaking about my mother with his foul mouth. He is filth and she is elegance and beauty.

I remember the memory.

Well, she is still elegance and beauty. I don't think that woman was my mother, anyway. It didn't seem like her. My mother is nice, and she is caring. Not harsh and cruel.

Janson sighs as he gives up on trying to speak to me. He stands, looking at something behind me as he does it. " Would you like to say anything before we complete the final task of the Trials? I must admit though, I'm going to miss torturing her. "

Janson backs away and someone else entires my line of vision. This person is wearing a pair of black heels, and her legs are a pale color. She addresses me with a firm voice.

" Look up. "

My blood freezes and my throat closes up. I do as she says, and I find myself staring into steely grey eyes. The eyes of my mother. I expect her to look down at me with love, with relief that her child is alive, but all I can find is hate. Is it directed towards me? Or the things they put me through?

" These past two years since you came under my care have been hell. I had to take you on because you apparently were the _Flame._ I have to admit, you have accelerated the Trials dramatically, but now it's time for you to get what you lost back. "

" What? Mom, what are you— " I start, shocked.

" Don't call me that. " She hisses, " Just sit still and be a good little girl while Janson does his job. "

Tears sting the back of my eyes. Was that memory true? What is going on? My mom is supposed to be happy I'm alive, not speaking to me so harshly. I thought she was dead. Is this just like Reed all over again?

 _What is going on?_

She starts to walk away, to leave the room, but she can't! She can't leave me here! She is my mother, and she should not abandon me. She can't. She's my family. She has to know dad is alive, and that he feels bad for leaving us. I have to tell her. But I can't tell her if she's going to leave me. Why? _Why?_

I open my mouth to speak, to beg her to stay and explain what the hell is going on, when four words I'll never forget leave her mouth.

" Good riddance, little Flame. "

And then the door shuts behind her and she's gone.

" Are you going to cry Louisa? " Janson asks, amusement evident in his voice. My breathing is coming in harsh rapid huffs; my heart was beating so hard against my chest I thought it was going to burst; my mind was going to fast I couldn't comprehend anything. " Are you confused? "

I don't answer him. Janson needs to go away. I need my mother. I thought she was dead; I thought I had failed, and yet she walked right in here and she, she, she….

She basically said she didn't want me.

What did I do? _What did I do?_

" I can solve your confusion. If you would just drink this… " Janson says, pulling a vile full of a blue liquid out. I barely even glance at it. Confusion. Is that what I'm feeling? I know it is one of the many emotions coursing through my veins, but it isn't the only one. I can't separate anything, everything is blending together.

" What is it? " I ask, the words nearly choking me. A tear falls onto my cheek but I don't wipe it away.

" Something to take away the pain. " He places the warm vile into my hands. The deep blue of the stuff inside it contrasts against the pink, sunburned skin of my hand. Pain. Yes, that is what I'm feeling. If my mother doesn't want me, then who will? She lied to me, all of those times. Noah, Newt, Minho. How many other people have lied to me? How many other people say they love me when they actually can't stand the sight of me?

 _Why do I have to hurt all of the time?_

I pull the cap off of the vile, and down the liquid inside. It's cold but still burns my throat, causing my eyes to water even more. My vision wavers, switching between black and the white of the room. I think I hear Janson laughing, but I'm not sure. I can't hear anything.

And a few short seconds later, blissfully, I can't feel anything either.

The pain, the hurt, the sadness and grief—all of it is gone.

* * *

 **I had a mini panic attack at the beginning of writing this because I realized how little of the book was left and that I wouldn't have enough stuff to work with to complete a chapter. And then I remembered that I had to set something up with Nandini... So it worked out.**

 **Oh my god guys it was the last chapter. The last one. I don't know if I can handle what I am feeling right now. It's just AHHHHHH**

 **Sooo Louisa has lost her mind. Minho is hopeful. Nandini is well... Nandini.**

 **{ review responses }**

 **mazerunner26 ~ appropriate reaction**

 **doggirl212 ~ WELCOME HEY HI HELLO LEWT MINHLO YES ALL THE SHIPS I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER**

 **Chipmunk1123 ~ They do need her. And I wanted to give Minho a hug too. Shin splints are hell. Mine are coming from a growth spurt I'm going through, so they're here to stay for a little while.**

 **{ end of review responses }**

 **Dang guys. Last chapter.**

 **I need to get my things prepared for the next one and I need to catch up on my other fanfiction. I got so excited about this one I haven't been able to write anything else. So can I have about 2 weeks to get everything sorted out? Who knows? I might just get it up sooner than that. But when I do, I'll post an author's note here.**

 **Well, I have to go do the dishes so for the last time on this story, have a good day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!**

 **PS sorry if you're confused about anything that has happened. This is something I've known was going to happen since the beginning of the series.**


	35. Chapter 35

**HEY HEY HEY THE FINALE HAS BEEN POSTED**

 **I HOPE YOU LIKE IT**

 **BUT I AM EXTREMELY PISSED THAT THE COVER WON'T LOAD PROPERLY**

 **WHATEVER.**


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